internet-plus-equality.user.js

// ==UserScript==
// @name           Internet-plus-Equality
// @namespace      http://mywebsite.com/myscripts
// @description    Equalise the Internet
// @include        *
// @author         Feminist Software Foundation
// @version        1.2
// @downloadURL    https://github.com/Feminist-Software-Foundation/Internet-plus-Equality/raw/master/internet-plus-equality.user.js
// @updateURL      https://github.com/Feminist-Software-Foundation/Internet-plus-Equality/raw/master/internet-plus-equality.user.js
// ==/UserScript==


(function(){
walk(document.body);

function walk(node) 
{
	// I stole this function from here:
	// http://is.gd/mwZp7E
	
	var child, next;

	switch ( node.nodeType )  
	{
		case 1:  // Element
		case 9:  // Document
		case 11: // Document fragment
			child = node.firstChild;
			while ( child ) 
			{
				next = child.nextSibling;
				walk(child);
				child = next;
			}
			break;

		case 3: // Text node
			handleText(node);
			break;
	}
}

function handleText(textNode) 
{
	var v = textNode.nodeValue;

        //Core words
        v = v.replace(/(P)enis/gi, function(str, p1) {
            r = (p1 == "P") ? "R" : "r";
            return r+"ape instrument";
        });
        v = v.replace(/(R)ape/gi, function(str, p1) {
            T = (p1 == "R") ? "T" : "T";
            return T+"RIGGER WARNING: RAPE";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(S)ex\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            r = (p1 == "S") ? "R" : "r";
            return r+"ape";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(C)onsent\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            f = (p1 == "C") ? "F" : "f";
            return f+"eels";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(M)erit\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            w = (p1 == "M") ? "W" : "w";
            return w+"hite privilege";
        });
	v = v.replace(/\bReverse Sexism\b/gi, "That Thing That Doesn't Exist");
	v = v.replace(/\bMisandry\b/gi, "That Thing That Doesn't Exist");

        //Gendered Pronouns
        v = v.replace(/\b(H)e\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            x = (p1 == "H") ? "X" : "x";
            return x+"e";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(S)he\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            x = (p1 == "S") ? "X" : "x";
            return x+"e";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(H)is\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            x = (p1 == "H") ? "X" : "x";
            return x+"ir";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(H)er\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            x = (p1 == "H") ? "X" : "x";
            return x+"ir";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(H)im\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            x = (p1 == "H") ? "X" : "x";
            return x+"ir";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(H)imself\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            x = (p1 == "H") ? "X" : "x";
            return x+"irself";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(H)erself\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            x = (p1 == "H") ? "X" : "x";
            return x+"irself";
        });

        //The Masculine
        v = v.replace(/\b(M)an\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            r = (p1 == "M") ? "R" : "r";
            return r+"apist scum";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(M)en\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            t = (p1 == "M") ? "T" : "t";
            return t+"he Patriarchy";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(B)oy\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            f = (p1 == "B") ? "F" : "f";
            return f+"uture rapist";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(M)ale\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            s = (p1 == "M") ? "S" : "s";
            return s+"exist and misogynistic";
        });

        //The Feminine
        v = v.replace(/\b(B)itch\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            s = (p1 == "B") ? "S" : "s";
            return s+"trong Womyn";
        });

        //Body Acceptance
        v = v.replace(/\b(U)gly\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            b = (p1 == "U") ? "B" : "b";
            return b+"eautiful";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(F)at\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            b = (p1 == "F") ? "B" : "b";
            return b+"eautifully proportioned";
        });
	v = v.replace(/\bBeautiful\b/gi, "Western Beauty Standard");
        v = v.replace(/\b(D)iet\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            a = (p1 == "D") ? "A" : "a";
            return a+"norexia";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(H)ealthy\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            f = (p1 == "H") ? "F" : "f";
            return f+"at shaming";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(D)octor\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            f = (p1 == "D") ? "F" : "f";
            return f+"at shamer";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(E)xercise\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            t = (p1 == "E") ? "T" : "t";
            return t+"orture";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(R)unning\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            d = (p1 == "R") ? "D" : "d";
            return d+"eath marching";
        });
        v = v.replace(/\b(O)bese\b/gi, function(str, p1) {
            t = (p1 == "O") ? "T" : "t";
            return t+"hyroid condition";
        });

        //Ideologies
        v = v.replace(/(E)galitarian/gi, function(str, p1) {
            r = (p1 == "E") ? "R" : "r";
            return r+"ape apologist";
        });
	v = v.replace(/\bMRA\b/gi, "VIRGIN NECKBEARD");
	v = v.replace(/\bFreedom of Speech\b/gi, "Hate Speech");

        //Sexualities and Gender Identities
        v = v.replace(/(H)eterosexual/gi, function(str, p1) {
            p = (p1 == "H") ? "P" : "p";
            return p+"rivileged scum";
        });
        v = v.replace(/(S)traight/gi, function(str, p1) {
            o = (p1 == "S") ? "O" : "o";
            return o+"ppressive to sexual minorities";
        });
        v = v.replace(/(G)ay/gi, function(str, p1) {
            m = (p1 == "G") ? "M" : "m";
            return m+"en with so much internalised misogyny that they'd rather sleep with men";
        });
	v = v.replace(/\bF2M\b/g, "Enabler of Patriarchy");
	v = v.replace(/\bf2m\b/g, "enabler of Patriarchy");
	v = v.replace(/\bM2F\b/g, "Fake women");
	v = v.replace(/\bm2f\b/g, "fake women");
        v = v.replace(/(T)ransgender/gi, function(str, p1) {
            g = (p1 == "T") ? "G" : "g";
            return g+"ender traitor";
        });
        v = v.replace(/(T)ranssexual/gi, function(str, p1) {
            g = (p1 == "T") ? "G" : "g";
            return g+"ender traitor";
        });

        //Political parties
	v = v.replace(/\bRepublican\b/gi, "Nazi");
	v = v.replace(/\bLibertarian\b/gi, "Cryptofascist");

        //Race
        v = v.replace(/(B)lack/gi, function(str, p1) {
            n = (p1 == "B") ? "N" : "n";
            return n+"oble race";
        });
	v = v.replace(/\bReverse Racism\b/gi, "That Thing That Doesn't Exist");
	
	textNode.nodeValue = v;
}

})();