diff --git a/common/src/main/java/org/figuramc/figura/lua/FakeStatic.java b/common/src/main/java/org/figuramc/figura/lua/FakeStatic.java
new file mode 100644
index 000000000..7ba8110dc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/common/src/main/java/org/figuramc/figura/lua/FakeStatic.java
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+package org.figuramc.figura.lua;
+
+import java.lang.annotation.ElementType;
+import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
+import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
+import java.lang.annotation.Target;
+
+@Retention(RetentionPolicy.RUNTIME)
+@Target(ElementType.METHOD)
+public @interface FakeStatic {
+}
diff --git a/common/src/main/java/org/figuramc/figura/lua/LuaTypeManager.java b/common/src/main/java/org/figuramc/figura/lua/LuaTypeManager.java
index 9483389a2..e3276a0aa 100644
--- a/common/src/main/java/org/figuramc/figura/lua/LuaTypeManager.java
+++ b/common/src/main/java/org/figuramc/figura/lua/LuaTypeManager.java
@@ -1,5 +1,6 @@
 package org.figuramc.figura.lua;
 
+import io.netty.util.internal.shaded.org.jctools.util.UnsafeAccess;
 import net.minecraft.network.chat.Component;
 import org.figuramc.figura.lua.docs.FiguraDocsManager;
 import org.figuramc.figura.lua.docs.LuaTypeDoc;
@@ -126,8 +127,21 @@ private static boolean[] getRequiredNotNil(Method method) {
     public VarArgFunction getWrapper(Method method) {
         return new VarArgFunction() {
 
-            private final boolean isStatic = Modifier.isStatic(method.getModifiers());
+            private final boolean fakeStatic = method.getAnnotation(FakeStatic.class) != null;
+            private final boolean isStatic = fakeStatic || Modifier.isStatic(method.getModifiers());
+            private static final Map<Class<?>, ? super Object> warcrimes = new HashMap();
             private Object caller;
+            {
+                if (fakeStatic) {
+                    caller = warcrimes.computeIfAbsent(method.getDeclaringClass(), clazz -> {
+                        try {
+                            return UnsafeAccess.UNSAFE.allocateInstance(clazz);
+                        } catch (InstantiationException e) {
+                            throw new RuntimeException(e);
+                        }
+                    });
+                }
+            }
 
 
             private final Class<?> clazz = method.getDeclaringClass();