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Copy file name to clipboardExpand all lines: docs/guidelines/editing.md
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@@ -275,7 +275,7 @@ and how to rewrite them[^gardenpath].
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but the sentence actually means that the horse _was_ raced past the barn,
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and then it fell.
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**Rewritten:** "The horse that was raced past the barn fell."
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**Rewritten:** "The horse that was raced past the barn fell."<br>
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**Why it's better:** Adding "that was" clarifies the relationship between the horse and the action of falling.
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=== "Example B"
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**Explanation:** The reader initially assumes the sentence means that the old man "hunts ducks (the birds) out on weekends",
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but "ducks out" is actually the verb "to duck out" (i.e. leave or avoid something).
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**Rewritten:** "The man who hunts hides out on weekends."
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**Rewritten:** "The man who hunts hides out on weekends."<br>
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**Why it's better:** Changing the verb to "hides" makes it clear that the old man is trying to avoid something.
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=== "Example C"
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but the sentence is actually referring to a small number of prime people.
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The "few" does not logically connect to "the prime number" when read sequentially.
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**Rewritten:** "The few prime individuals." or "The number of prime individuals is few."
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**Rewritten:** "The few prime individuals." or "The number of prime individuals is few."<br>
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**Why it's better:** Adding "individuals" makes it clear that the sentence is referring to a group of people.
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=== "Example D"
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**Explanation:** The reader initially assumes that "the girl sang the song",
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but the sentence is actually saying that the song pleased everyone while the girl sang.
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**Rewritten:** "The song pleased everyone while the girl sang." or "As the girl was singing, the song pleased everyone." or "While the girl sang, the song pleased everyone."
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**Rewritten:** "The song pleased everyone while the girl sang." or "As the girl was singing, the song pleased everyone." or "While the girl sang, the song pleased everyone."<br>
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**Why it's better:**
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- The first sentence clarifies that the song is the subject that pleased everyone and that the girl was singing during that time.
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- The second makes the timing clearer by indicating an ongoing action.
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