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Communication and Personal Identity-Chapter 9

Key Focus Questions:

  1. What role does communication play in developing personal identity?
  2. How do others shape personal identity?
  3. What types of communication affect your understanding of who you are?
  4. How can you create a supportive context for your personal growth?

Overview of Chapter:

  1. How the self is formed and how it changes.
  2. Defining the self and its implications.
  3. Types of communication that influence identity.
  4. Guidelines for personal growth and identity enrichment.

Understanding the Self:

  • The self is an ever-changing system of perspectives.
  • It is formed and sustained through communication with others and ourselves.

Aspects of Personal Identity:

  1. Dynamic Self: Constantly evolving based on experiences and communication.
  2. System of Perspectives: Our sense of self is influenced by our communication with others and our own internal dialogue.

The Self is Multidimensional:

  • The self has multiple facets:
    • Physical
    • Emotional
    • Cognitive
  • George Herbert Mead: Believed society and significant individuals play a key role in shaping the self.

Society Shapes the Self:

  • Our identity is influenced by social factors like:
    • Race
    • Gender
    • Sexual Orientation
    • Socioeconomic Class

The Self Arises in Communication with Others:

  1. Reflected Appraisal: We develop our self-concept based on how we think others perceive us. Ex. The process of seeing ourselves through the eyes of others.
  2. Direct Definition: Explicit labels or definitions others assign to us. Ex. “You are a big, tough boy who doesn’t cry” Alice tells her son.
  3. Self-Fulfilling Prophecies: When we act in ways that align with expectations others have of us. Acting in ways that bring about others’ or our own expectations or judgments of ourselves. Ex. During music practice, the conductor informs Sally that she is repeatedly missing the same note. Sally tells herself she will miss the same note in the musical recital. During the recital, she misses the same note that she told herself she would miss.
  4. Social Comparison: Comparing ourselves to others to form judgments about our own abilities, qualities, and traits. Ex. Howie is still not entirely sure how smart he is, so he asks other students in his first- grade class how they did on a test. After checking with 5 other children, Howie realizes he did better than any of them and Howie concludes he must be pretty smart after all.
  5. Self-Disclosure: Sharing personal information with others helps develop our identity as we receive feedback.

Other Key Influences:

  • Particular Other: The term "particular other" refers to specific individuals who have a direct and personal influence on our identity, such as family members, close friends, teachers, mentors, or significant others.
  • Generalized Other: The "generalized other" represents the broader social world and the collective attitudes, expectations, and norms of society at large. Jenny is looking through a popular women’s magazine. She notices that most of the advertisements deal with beauty, looking young, or losing weight.

Comparison of Particular Other and Generalized Other:

Source:
  • Particular Other: Comes from specific individuals in your life (e.g., parents, friends, mentors).
  • Generalized Other: Comes from society, social groups, and institutions at large.
Nature of Influence:
  • Particular Other: The influence is personal, direct, and specific to your relationships.
  • Generalized Other: The influence is impersonal, broad, and based on societal expectations and norms.
Examples:
  • Particular Other: A parent praises your kindness, shaping your view of yourself as compassionate.
  • Generalized Other: Society values independence and career success, motivating you to prioritize work and personal achievement.

Communication with Family Members:

  • Direct Definition: How family members label us directly.
  • Life Scripts: The guidelines and narratives we inherit from family. Ex. The outcome of a largely unconscious process of internalizing the rules, roles, and basic climate for living that we learn from our immediate family
  • Attachment Styles:
    • Secure: Positive self-worth, comfortable with intimacy. Ex. Care Givers are consistently loving and attentive
    • Dismissive: High self-esteem, but avoiding closeness.
    • Anxious/Ambivalent: Preoccupied with relationships, but unsure of them. Ex. Ray is very attentive and supportive to his son Robbie when he is sober, but when Ray drinks he often ignores his son and sometimes verbally abuses him. Robbie never knows which way his father will act.
    • Fearful: Low self-esteem and fear of rejection or intimacy.

Johari Window:

A model for understanding the self in relation to others:

  1. Open: Known to both self and others.
  2. Blind: Unknown to self, but known to others.
  3. Hidden: Known to self, but not revealed to others.
  4. Unknown: Unknown to both self and others.

Uncertainty Reduction Theory:

  • We feel uncomfortable with uncertainty, especially in initial encounters.
  • We use both direct and indirect strategies to reduce uncertainty, such as self-disclosure, and we hope others reciprocate. Ex. The theory that asserts that people find uncertainty uncomfortable and so are motivated to use communication to reduce uncertainty

Digital Media and Personal Identity:

  • Social media provides both direct definitions and reflected appraisals.
  • It can be a key source of social comparison, allowing us to shape how we present ourselves.
  • Digital platforms offer more time to curate and sculpt self-presentation.

Guidelines for Personal Growth:

  1. Reflect Critically on Social Perspectives: Question societal influences that shape your identity.
  2. Commit to Personal Growth:
    • Set realistic goals for development.
    • Assess yourself fairly.
  3. Create a Supportive Context: Surround yourself with people and environments that foster positive change.
    • Avoid self-sabotage by managing negative self-talk. Ex. Self-Sabotage: Jon says, “I am so stupid I’ll never graduate from college. I just can’t learn this Chemistry because I am so darned dumb!”

Influence of Friends:

  • Uppers: People who affirm and encourage you.
  • Downers: People who criticize or bring you down.
  • Vultures: People who actively undermine your confidence and self-esteem.

Summary of Key Points:

  • The self is a process that evolves over time through interactions with others.
  • Communication is central to the development of our identity.
  • We can take concrete steps to facilitate personal growth by reflecting on social influences, setting realistic goals, and fostering supportive relationships.