events.txt

C was bitten by drdink
C fell into a hole
C bit their tongue
C set themself on fire
C ate a poisonous fruit
C lost their mind
C died, temporarily..
C was caught in a terrible snowstorm
C EXPLODED, somewhat..
C got knifed in a dark alley
C saw an episode of Ally McBeal
C got turned INSIDE OUT, practically
C ate a very disagreeable fruit, getting a terrible case of heartburn
C met up with a mob hitman for not paying their bills
C has fallen ill with the black plague
C was struck by lightning
C was attacked by a rabid cow
C was attacked by a rabid wolverine
C was set on fire
C was decapitated, temporarily..
C was tipped by a cow
C was bucked from a horse
C was bitten by a moose
C was sat on by a giant
C ate a plate of discounted, day-old sushi
C got harassed by peer
C got lost in the woods
C misplaced their map
C broke their compass
C lost their glasses
C walked face-first into a tree
C fell ill because their community continues to disregard mask mandates
G found a pair of Nikes
G caught a unicorn
G discovered a secret, underground passage
G was taught to run quickly by a secret tribe of pygmies that know how to, among other things, run quickly
G discovered caffeinated coffee
G grew an extra leg
G was visited by a very pretty nymph
G found a kitten
G learned Perl
G found an exploit in the IRPG code
G tamed a wild horse
G found a one-time-use spell of quickness
G bought a faster computer
G bribed the local IRPG administrator
G stopped using dial-up
G invented the wheel
G gained a sixth sense
G got a kiss from drwiii
G had their clothes laundered by a passing fairy
G was rejuvenated by drinking from a magic stream
G was bitten by a radioactive spider
G hit it off with a drunk sorority chick named Jenny
G was accepted into Pi Beta Phi
G got their Covid-19 vaccination
Q2 225 415 280 460 lay waste to the Towers of Ankh-Allor, wherein lies the terrible sorceror Croocq
Q1 locate the centuries-lost tomes of the grim prophet Haplashak Mhadhu
Q2 400 475 480 380 explore and chart the dark lands of T'rnalvph
Q1 locate the ancient writings of Ahmo, prophet of the blind god Io, namely his last and hidden work, Time as Deity, thought to answer all of mankind's greater wonders
Q2 290 65 325 270 slay the great and horrible troll, Dokt'r Wiii
Q2 480 415 325 270 return the stolen relics of Iao-Sabao to the city of Velvragh, quieting the religious riot that has sprung up from their loss
Q2 70 315 325 270 guard the secret passage to Bharash until the full moon has passed, and the evil returned to its resting place
Q2 50 350 325 270 destroy the bandits terrorizing the roads passing through the Great Shahlil mountains
Q1 locate and destroy the immensely powerful Eyeless Amulet of the evil sorceress, Ankh B'loht
Q2 167 458 325 270 rescue the beautiful princess Juliet from the grasp of the beast Grabthul
Q1 locate the herbs and brew the elixir to rid the realm of the Normonic Plague
Q2 160 480 160 380 hunt down the over-abundance of mountain wolves that are slaying the regions' cows
Q2 35 40 325 270 assassinate the general, Ronald Ashur, of the invading army of Denmark
Q2 235 125 430 60 setup a trade route through the mountains to the neighboring land of Qwok and arrange correspondence with their leader, Cuincey-Love Vikk'l
Q2 155 155 325 270 live among and learn the ancient magick of the tribe of pygmie people, the Jow Botzi
Q2 70 125 170 100 kill the resurrected Jow Botzian zombies produced by a young wizard's wayward spell
Q1 worship the sacred Cow until such time as she is satiated