From 35e6709184f1d0a5a8a416b90c54f6d6dd909d77 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: =?UTF-8?q?Christina=20S=C3=B8rensen?= Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2023 10:54:40 +0100 Subject: [PATCH] feat(people): port 227 lines of people MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Signed-off-by: Christina Sørensen --- fortunes/people | 227 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ oldtunes/people | 241 +----------------------------------------------- 2 files changed, 228 insertions(+), 240 deletions(-) create mode 100644 fortunes/people diff --git a/fortunes/people b/fortunes/people new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c05c80f --- /dev/null +++ b/fortunes/people @@ -0,0 +1,227 @@ +A 'full' life in my experience is usually full only of other people's demands. +% +A bore is a man who talks so much about himself that you can't talk about +yourself. +% +A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have +enlightened him with ours. +% +A city is a large community where people are lonesome together + -- Herbert Prochnow +% +A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil. + -- Victor Hugo +% +A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern. + -- Edgar A. Shoaff +% +A friend is a present you give yourself. + -- Robert Louis Stevenson +% +A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to +you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to +you about yourself. + -- Lisa Kirk +% +A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head. The +green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that +grew in the ears themselves, stuck out on either side like turn signals +indicating two directions at once. Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the +bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled +with disapproval and potato chip crumbs. In the shadow under the green visor +of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly's supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down +upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D. H. Holmes department +store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress. Several +of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be +properly considered offenses against taste and decency. Possession of +anything new or expensive only reflected a person's lack of theology and +geometry; it could even cast doubts upon one's soul. + -- John Kennedy Toole, "Confederacy of Dunces" +% +A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own +weight in other people's patience. + -- John Updike +% +A man of genius makes no mistakes. +His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery. + -- James Joyce, "Ulysses" +% + A man pleaded innocent of any wrong doing when caught by the police +during a raid at the home of a mobster, excusing himself by claiming that he +was making a bolt for the door. +% +A man who keeps stealing mopeds is an obvious cycle-path. +% +A man who turns green has eschewed protein. +% +A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. +% +A person forgives only when they are in the wrong. +% +A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry. +% +A person who has nothing looks at all there is and wants something. +A person who has something looks at all there is and wants all the rest. +% +A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist. + -- Elbert Hubbard +% +A real friend isn't someone you use once and then throw away. +A real friend is someone you can use over and over again. +% +A real person has two reasons for doing anything ... a good reason and +the real reason. +% +A sadist is a masochist who follows the Golden Rule. +% +A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep +him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those that are +worth committing. + -- Samuel Butler +% + "...A strange enigma is man!" + "Someone calls him a soul concealed in an animal," I suggested. + "Winwood Reade is good upon the subject," said Holmes. "He remarked +that, while the individual man is an insoluble puzzle, in the aggregate he +becomes a mathematical certainty. You can, for example, never foretell what +any one man will do, but you can say with precision what an average number +will be up to. Individuals vary, but percentages remain constant. So says +the statistician." + -- Sherlock Holmes, "The Sign of Four" +% +A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, +and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others. + -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" +% +A truly great man will neither trample on a worm nor sneak to an emperor. + -- B. Franklin +% +A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without +getting nervous. +% +A well-known friend is a treasure. +% +Accept people for what they are -- completely unacceptable. +% +According to the obituary notices, a mean and unimportant person never dies. +% +Adam was but human--this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the +apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in +not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. + -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" +% +Advice is a dangerous gift; be cautious about giving and receiving it. +% +After all, it is only the mediocre who are always at their best. + -- Jean Giraudoux +% +After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not for +you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply +sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. + -- P. J. O'Rourke +% +After living in New York, you trust nobody, but you believe everything. +Just in case. +% + After Snow White used a couple rolls of film taking pictures of the +seven dwarfs, she mailed the roll to be developed. Later she was heard to +sing, "Some day my prints will come." +% +Against stupidity the very gods Themselves contend in vain. + -- Friedrich von Schiller, "The Maid of Orleans", III, 6 +% +Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball. +% +Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water or do you want +a chance to change the world? + -- Steve Jobs +% +It's more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy. + -- Steve Jobs +% +Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me ... Going to bed at +night saying we've done something wonderful... that's what matters to me. + -- Steve Jobs +% +I would trade all of my technology for an afternoon with Socrates. + -- Steve Jobs +% +I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the +last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And +whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to +change something. + -- Steve Jobs +% +Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever +encountered to help me make the big choices in life. + -- Steve Jobs +% +I'm the only person I know that's lost a quarter of a billion dollars in one +year.... It's very character-building + -- Steve Jobs +% +When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but +only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered +glass and splintered wood, like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat +crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids, and all aboard +powerless to stop it. It's only afterwards that it becomes anything +like a story at all. When you are telling it, to yourself or to +someone else. + -- Margaret Atwood, "Alias Grace" +% +I am examining you on your fool ideas that no intelligent Christian +on earth believes. + -- Clarence Darrow, to William Jennings Bryan +% +"Go on, girl! You'll never get a better chance to buy Jif at this +price. *Carpe diem*, babe!" + -- "The Naked Consumer", Erik Larson +% +I'm enthralled by combine harvesters. In fact, I yearn to have one -- +as a pet. + -- "The Day of the Jackal" +% +The horizon of many people is a circle with a radius of zero. They call +this their point of view. + -- Albert Einstein +% +The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. +The pessimist is afraid this might be true. + -- crazyphilman's sig on kuro5hin +% +I am myself plus my circumstance, and if I do not save it, I cannot +save myself. + -- Jose Ortega Y Gasset +% +If a man slept by day, he had little time to work. That was a +satisfying notion to Escargot. + -- "The Stone Giant", James P. Blaylock +% +He liked fishing a little too much, and he believed that work was +something a man did when he had to. He had always been able to get +along well enough without it, especially for the last couple of +years. + -- "The Stone Giant", James P. Blaylock +% +Would a giant, profit-oriented cartel lie to you? + -- Top Ten List, Late Night with David Letterman +% +Some days you wake and immediately start worrying. Nothing in +particular is wrong, it's just the suspicion that forces are aligning +quietly and there will be trouble. + -- "Survival Series", Jenny Holzer +% +Your conscience never stops you from doing anything. It just stops you +from enjoying it. +% +Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your +acquaintances will know you in a thousand years. + -- Richard Bach, "Illusions" +% +Youth -- not a time of life but a state of mind... a predominance of +courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over the love of ease. + -- Robert F. Kennedy +% +Youth is a blunder, manhood a struggle, old age a regret. + -- Benjamin Disraeli, "Coningsby" +% diff --git a/oldtunes/people b/oldtunes/people index 85bdc21..6a000ef 100644 --- a/oldtunes/people +++ b/oldtunes/people @@ -3,53 +3,9 @@ Bastinado is about right. For exceptional wit one might grant keelhauling. But staking him out on an anthill should be reserved for the very wittiest. -- Lazarus Long % -A 'full' life in my experience is usually full only of other people's demands. -% -A bore is a man who talks so much about himself that you can't talk about -yourself. -% -A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have -enlightened him with ours. -% -A city is a large community where people are lonesome together - -- Herbert Prochnow -% -A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil. - -- Victor Hugo -% -A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern. - -- Edgar A. Shoaff -% A fair exterior is a silent recommendation. -- Publilius Syrus % -A friend is a present you give yourself. - -- Robert Louis Stevenson -% -A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to -you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to -you about yourself. - -- Lisa Kirk -% -A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head. The -green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that -grew in the ears themselves, stuck out on either side like turn signals -indicating two directions at once. Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the -bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled -with disapproval and potato chip crumbs. In the shadow under the green visor -of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly's supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down -upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D. H. Holmes department -store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress. Several -of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be -properly considered offenses against taste and decency. Possession of -anything new or expensive only reflected a person's lack of theology and -geometry; it could even cast doubts upon one's soul. - -- John Kennedy Toole, "Confederacy of Dunces" -% -A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own -weight in other people's patience. - -- John Updike -% A man is crawling through the Sahara desert when he is approached by another man riding on a camel. When the rider gets close enough, the crawling man whispers through his sun-parched lips, "Water... please... can you give... @@ -70,48 +26,18 @@ staggers up to the door and confronts the head waiter. "Water... can I get... water," the dying man manages to stammer. "I'm sorry, sir, ties required." % -A man of genius makes no mistakes. -His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery. - -- James Joyce, "Ulysses" -% - A man pleaded innocent of any wrong doing when caught by the police -during a raid at the home of a mobster, excusing himself by claiming that he -was making a bolt for the door. -% -A man who keeps stealing mopeds is an obvious cycle-path. -% -A man who turns green has eschewed protein. -% A man with 3 wings and a dictionary is cousin to the turkey. % -A man would still do something out of sheer perversity - he would create -destruction and chaos - just to gain his point... and if all this could in -turn be analyzed and prevented by predicting that it would occur, then man -would deliberately go mad to prove his point. - -- Feodor Dostoevsky, "Notes From the Underground" -% A narcissist is someone better looking than you are. -- Gore Vidal % A paranoid is a man who knows a little of what's going on. -- William S. Burroughs -% -A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. % "A penny for your thoughts?" "A dollar for your death." -- The Odd Couple % -A person forgives only when they are in the wrong. -% -A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry. -% -A person who has nothing looks at all there is and wants something. -A person who has something looks at all there is and wants all the rest. -% -A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist. - -- Elbert Hubbard -% A pretty foot is one of the greatest gifts of nature... please send me your last pair of shoes, already worn out in dancing... so I can have something of yours to press against my heart. @@ -123,44 +49,9 @@ A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions. A private sin is not so prejudicial in the world as a public indecency. -- Miguel de Cervantes % -A real friend isn't someone you use once and then throw away. -A real friend is someone you can use over and over again. -% -A real person has two reasons for doing anything ... a good reason and -the real reason. -% A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery -% -A sadist is a masochist who follows the Golden Rule. -% -A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep -him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those that are -worth committing. - -- Samuel Butler -% - "...A strange enigma is man!" - "Someone calls him a soul concealed in an animal," I suggested. - "Winwood Reade is good upon the subject," said Holmes. "He remarked -that, while the individual man is an insoluble puzzle, in the aggregate he -becomes a mathematical certainty. You can, for example, never foretell what -any one man will do, but you can say with precision what an average number -will be up to. Individuals vary, but percentages remain constant. So says -the statistician." - -- Sherlock Holmes, "The Sign of Four" -% -A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, -and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others. - -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" -% -A truly great man will neither trample on a worm nor sneak to an emperor. - -- B. Franklin -% -A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without -getting nervous. -% -A well-known friend is a treasure. % A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road. After seeing the @@ -178,42 +69,12 @@ a rattler?" persisted the woman. "Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn who my real friends are." % -Accept people for what they are -- completely unacceptable. -% -According to the obituary notices, a mean and unimportant person never dies. -% -Adam was but human--this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the -apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in -not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. - -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" -% -Advice is a dangerous gift; be cautious about giving and receiving it. -% Advice to young men: Be ascetic, and if you can't be ascetic, then at least be aseptic. % -After all, it is only the mediocre who are always at their best. - -- Jean Giraudoux -% -After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not for -you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply -sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. - -- P. J. O'Rourke -% -After living in New York, you trust nobody, but you believe everything. -Just in case. -% - After Snow White used a couple rolls of film taking pictures of the -seven dwarfs, she mailed the roll to be developed. Later she was heard to -sing, "Some day my prints will come." -% -Against stupidity the very gods Themselves contend in vain. - -- Friedrich von Schiller, "The Maid of Orleans", III, 6 -% -Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball. -% Ah, sweet Springtime, when a young man lightly turns his fancy over! % + Al didn't smile for forty years. You've got to admire a man like that. -- from "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" % @@ -4225,23 +4086,6 @@ all of these traits before you can positively identify him as a space alien. -- National Enquirer, Michael Cassels, August, 1984. [I thought everybody laughed at company training films. Ed.] -% -Your conscience never stops you from doing anything. It just stops you -from enjoying it. -% -Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your -acquaintances will know you in a thousand years. - -- Richard Bach, "Illusions" -% -Youth -- not a time of life but a state of mind... a predominance of -courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over the love of ease. - -- Robert F. Kennedy -% -Youth is a blunder, manhood a struggle, old age a regret. - -- Benjamin Disraeli, "Coningsby" -% -Youth is a disease from which we all recover. - -- Dorothy Fuldheim % Youth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind; it is a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions, a predominance @@ -4268,86 +4112,3 @@ you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you. -- Jesus, "Gnostic Gospels" (Elaine Pagel) % -I am myself plus my circumstance, and if I do not save it, I cannot -save myself. - -- Jose Ortega Y Gasset -% -If a man slept by day, he had little time to work. That was a -satisfying notion to Escargot. - -- "The Stone Giant", James P. Blaylock -% -He liked fishing a little too much, and he believed that work was -something a man did when he had to. He had always been able to get -along well enough without it, especially for the last couple of -years. - -- "The Stone Giant", James P. Blaylock -% -Would a giant, profit-oriented cartel lie to you? - -- Top Ten List, Late Night with David Letterman -% -Some days you wake and immediately start worrying. Nothing in -particular is wrong, it's just the suspicion that forces are aligning -quietly and there will be trouble. - -- "Survival Series", Jenny Holzer -% -When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but -only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered -glass and splintered wood, like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat -crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids, and all aboard -powerless to stop it. It's only afterwards that it becomes anything -like a story at all. When you are telling it, to yourself or to -someone else. - -- Margaret Atwood, "Alias Grace" -% -I am examining you on your fool ideas that no intelligent Christian -on earth believes. - -- Clarence Darrow, to William Jennings Bryan -% -"Go on, girl! You'll never get a better chance to buy Jif at this -price. *Carpe diem*, babe!" - -- "The Naked Consumer", Erik Larson -% -I'm enthralled by combine harvesters. In fact, I yearn to have one -- -as a pet. - -- "The Day of the Jackal" -% -The horizon of many people is a circle with a radius of zero. They call -this their point of view. - -- Albert Einstein -% -The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. -The pessimist is afraid this might be true. - -- crazyphilman's sig on kuro5hin -% -It's rare that you see an artist in his 30s or 40s able to really contribute -something amazing. - -- Steve Jobs (1955-2011) -% -Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water or do you want -a chance to change the world? - -- Steve Jobs (1955-2011) -% -It's more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy. - -- Steve Jobs (1955-2011) -% -Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me ... Going to bed at -night saying we've done something wonderful... that's what matters to me. - -- Steve Jobs (1955-2011) -% -I would trade all of my technology for an afternoon with Socrates. - -- Steve Jobs (1955-2011) -% -I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the -last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And -whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to -change something. - -- Steve Jobs (1955-2011) -% -Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever -encountered to help me make the big choices in life. - -- Steve Jobs (1955-2011) -% -I'm the only person I know that's lost a quarter of a billion dollars in one -year.... It's very character-building - -- Steve Jobs (1955-2011) -%