quoteslist.txt

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."
"These woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep."
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
"The best way out is always through."
"We dance round in a ring and suppose, But the Secret sits in the middle and knows."
"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."
"And were an epitaph to be my story I'd have a short one ready for my own. I would have written of me on my stone: I had a lover's quarrel with the world."
"My apple trees will never get across And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him. He only says, “Good fences make good neighbors.”"
"I am not a teacher, but an awakener."
"Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow."
"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it."
"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed."
"The bird that would soar above the plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings."
"Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied."
"Ow! My brains!"
"I don't want to die now!" "I've still got a headache! I don't want to go to heaven with a headache, I'd be all cross and wouldn't enjoy it!"
"Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God I'm so depressed."
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
"A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance."
"Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously."
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn professional."
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."
"Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature."
"Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business."
"We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves."
"The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplacable being."
"To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought."
"There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, and nothing worth killing for."
"Equality is not in regarding different things similarly, equality is in regarding different things differently."
"When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing."
"There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better. :"
"Not everybody goes to movies to get their life changed."
"I have had it with these goddamn Trolls in this goddamn forest!"
"I don't mind dying, I just don't wanna go out like some punk."
"The year I started golf I had a caddie and one day I did get angry with myself and threw a club. My caddie told me, 'You're not good enough to get mad'."
"What kills me is that everybody thinks I like jazz."
"A Python script is just a script to me. They open, they close."
"Want to know what the 'A.' in A. Lone Traveler means? None of your fucking business."
“If you have an opportunity to use your voice you should use it.”
“I think the biggest challenges for franchises are keeping them fresh and exciting, and most times, you need a good bad guy to make that thing continually work, and sometimes they don't.”
"You think water moves fast? You should see ice. It moves like it has a mind."
"Everybody knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of you and umption"
"Ain't that always the way? Elevator music, a man with a kilt, and a chick with a nickel-plated nine?"
"AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes."
"You know me. It's my duty to please that booty."
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men."
"Don't mistake my patience for cowardice."
"Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"
"It's all right! If my death can save others, I gladly surrender my life."
"Death in the dream world will send your soul wandering for all eternity, Demon."
"You have been doomed ever since you lost the ability to love."
"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the world, and loses his own soul?"
"The blood that flows through my veins is cursed. T'would be best if I were to disappear forever."
"Man, I don't want to know how many calories that whole pack of crackers was."
"Sizzling circuits!"
"RUMOR HAS IT, THE FERRY-MAN AT DEAD RIVER LOVES GARLIC."
"STEP INTO THE SHADOWS OF THE HELL HOUSE."
"A RIB CAN SHIELD YOU FROM EVIL."
"I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A GOOD LOOKING GUY LIKE YOU."
"No, this isn't happening. There's no reason for me to go on. WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR?!"
"Genes exist to pass down our hopes and dreams for the future through our children. Living is a link to the future."
"Save often"
"Save often"
"Save often"
"Save often"
"Save often"
"The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being."
"The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling on himself and start paying attention to the universe."
“A sense of humor...is superior to any religion so far devised.”
“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.”
“The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is more feverish, but the fire of the radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent not of passion. Tomatoes are lusty enough, yet there runs through tomatoes an undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious."
“To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.”
“Christianity is merely a system for turning priestesses into handmaidens, queens into concubines, and goddesses into muses.”
“Breathe properly. Stay curious. And eat your beets.”
“It is better to be small, colorful, sexy, careless, and peaceful, like the flowers, than large, conservative, repressed, fearful, and aggressive, like the thunder lizards; a lesson, by the way, that the Earth has yet to learn.”
“Should you fail to pilot your own ship, don't be surprised at what inappropriate port you find yourself docked.”
“Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?”
"Have you ever eaten ramen noodles raw with the seasoning? Break it up, open it up, pour it in, and they're like ponoodle chips"
"You are now thinking of HER"
"You are now thinking of HIM"
“The minute you land in New Orleans, something wet and dark leaps on you and starts humping you like a swamp dog in heat, and the only way to get that aspect of New Orleans off you is to eat it off."
"I was a North American Fall Webworm in my past life. Those were the good old days... What were you in your former life?"
"That reminds me, I saw Gubayama the other day in Shibomnigee. He said to give you his best."
"You enjoy all the killing!"
"Stop eating so many sandwiches"
"I've seen you around here before"
"Didn't you just come by this way?"
"An anemone or clematis plants juice can cause a rash. When pruning them, its a good idea to wear gloves."
"I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-Kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!"
"Actually, I am in really bad shape financially. I pay money to my ex-wife as part of our divorce settlement, among other bills... I just had no choice but to make you pay for lunch the other day. I'm really sorry."
"Just remember, there's a thin line between being a hero and being a memory."
"Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error."
"I'll gladly repay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."
You come across a man standing over a body. He mutters "Uh... yeah. Killed himself."
"You know, sweetheart, if there's one thing I've learned, it's this: nobody knows what's gonna happen at the end of the line, so you might as well enjoy the trip."
"I have to confess... I never killed anybody."
If the battle number is prime, there's "a secret" to type..."
"The living still give me the creeps."
"They Bought the Farm, Now Sell Them the Cows"
"Your destiny... cannot be purchased."
"So, what IS that stuff they pack canned hams in, anyway?"
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning."
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist."
"Can you imagine a fulfilled society? Whoa, what would everyone do? Everyone, LVL15."
"I started to see human beings as little lonesome, water based, pink meat, life forms pushing air through themselves and making noises that the other little pieces of meat seemed to understand. I was thinking to myself, 'There's five billion people here but we've never been more isolated.' The only result of the aggressive individualism we pursue is that you lose sight of your compassion and we go to bed at night thinking, 'Is this all there is?' because we don't feel fulfilled. "