a13.json

[
  {
    "text": "Michelle Obama's arms",
    "id": 0
  },
  {
    "text": "A disappointing birthday party",
    "id": 1
  },
  {
    "text": "Puppies!",
    "id": 2
  },
  {
    "text": "Being on fire",
    "id": 3
  },
  {
    "text": "A lifetime of sadness",
    "id": 4
  },
  {
    "text": "Pterodactyl eggs",
    "id": 5
  },
  {
    "text": "Agriculture",
    "id": 76
  },
  {
    "text": "Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards",
    "id": 77
  },
  {
    "text": "Mom's new boyfriend",
    "id": 2856
  },
  {
    "text": "Denzel",
    "id": 2854
  },
  {
    "text": "Vegetarian options",
    "id": 2848
  },
  {
    "text": "A crazy little thing called love",
    "id": 2841
  },
  {
    "text": "A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home",
    "id": 2842
  },
  {
    "text": "Backwards knees",
    "id": 2845
  },
  {
    "text": "Having been dead for a while",
    "id": 2846
  },
  {
    "text": "The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle",
    "id": 2849
  },
  {
    "text": "The unbelievable world of mushrooms",
    "id": 2850
  },
  {
    "text": "Being nine years old",
    "id": 2851
  },
  {
    "text": "A disappointing salad",
    "id": 2857
  },
  {
    "text": "A powered exoskeleton",
    "id": 2858
  },
  {
    "text": "Ennui",
    "id": 2859
  },
  {
    "text": "Oil!",
    "id": 2860
  },
  {
    "text": "Making a pouty face",
    "id": 78
  },
  {
    "text": "Exchanging pleasantries",
    "id": 6
  },
  {
    "text": "The forbidden fruit",
    "id": 7
  },
  {
    "text": "Republicans",
    "id": 8
  },
  {
    "text": "The Big Bang",
    "id": 9
  },
  {
    "text": "Agriculture",
    "id": 10
  },
  {
    "text": "Making a pouty face",
    "id": 11
  },
  {
    "text": "Charisma",
    "id": 12
  },
  {
    "text": "YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS",
    "id": 13
  },
  {
    "text": "Taking off your shirt",
    "id": 14
  },
  {
    "text": "Ronald Reagan",
    "id": 15
  },
  {
    "text": "Morgan Freeman's voice",
    "id": 16
  },
  {
    "text": "Breaking out into song and dance",
    "id": 17
  },
  {
    "text": "All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99",
    "id": 18
  },
  {
    "text": "Soup that is too hot",
    "id": 19
  },
  {
    "text": "Tom Cruise",
    "id": 20
  },
  {
    "text": "Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis",
    "id": 21
  },
  {
    "text": "Edible underpants",
    "id": 22
  },
  {
    "text": "Object permanence",
    "id": 23
  },
  {
    "text": "Consultants",
    "id": 24
  },
  {
    "text": "Intelligent design",
    "id": 25
  },
  {
    "text": "Nocturnal emissions",
    "id": 26
  },
  {
    "text": "Uppercuts",
    "id": 27
  },
  {
    "text": "MechaHitler",
    "id": 44
  },
  {
    "text": "A disappointing birthday party",
    "id": 46
  },
  {
    "text": "Puppies!",
    "id": 47
  },
  {
    "text": "A windmill full of corpses",
    "id": 48
  },
  {
    "text": "Guys who don't call",
    "id": 49
  },
  {
    "text": "Racially-biased SAT questions",
    "id": 50
  },
  {
    "text": "Dying",
    "id": 51
  },
  {
    "text": "Being on fire",
    "id": 53
  },
  {
    "text": "A lifetime of sadness",
    "id": 54
  },
  {
    "text": "The Rapture",
    "id": 59
  },
  {
    "text": "Pterodactyl eggs",
    "id": 60
  },
  {
    "text": "Crippling debt",
    "id": 61
  },
  {
    "text": "Exchanging pleasantries",
    "id": 63
  },
  {
    "text": "Dying of dysentery",
    "id": 64
  },
  {
    "text": "The forbidden fruit",
    "id": 67
  },
  {
    "text": "Republicans",
    "id": 68
  },
  {
    "text": "The Big Bang",
    "id": 69
  },
  {
    "text": "Amputees",
    "id": 71
  },
  {
    "text": "Men",
    "id": 72
  },
  {
    "text": "Russian super-tuberculosis",
    "id": 2832
  },
  {
    "text": "A mouthful of potato salad",
    "id": 2833
  },
  {
    "text": "All these decorative pillows",
    "id": 2834
  },
  {
    "text": "Being worshipped as the one true God",
    "id": 2836
  },
  {
    "text": "The ghost of Marlon Brando",
    "id": 2838
  },
    {
    "text": "BETTY FUCKING CROCKER",
    "id": 2153
  },
  {
    "text": "Binge reading every fanfiction for a pairing and then hating yourself a little bit",
    "id": 2154
  },
  {
    "text": "BL1ND JUST1C3",
    "id": 2155
  },
  {
    "text": "Bro",
    "id": 2158
  },
  {
    "text": "Bro's rapping ventriloquism act",
    "id": 2159
  },
  {
    "text": "Bro’s death",
    "id": 2160
  },
  {
    "text": "BUCKETS",
    "id": 2161
  },
  {
    "text": "Butler Island",
    "id": 2162
  },
  {
    "text": "C4NDY R3D BLOOD >:]",
    "id": 2163
  },
  {
    "text": "Caledscratch",
    "id": 2164
  },
  {
    "text": "Caliborn",
    "id": 2165
  },
  {
    "text": "Caliginous speed dating",
    "id": 2166
  },
  {
    "text": "Calliope",
    "id": 2167
  },
  {
    "text": "Can Town",
    "id": 2169
  },
  {
    "text": "Cards Against Alternia",
    "id": 2170
  },
  {
    "text": "Carlos Maraka",
    "id": 2171
  },
  {
    "text": "Casey",
    "id": 2172
  },
  {
    "text": "Centaur milk",
    "id": 2173
  },
  {
    "text": "Charging down halls, shouting profanities and being silly",
    "id": 2174
  },
  {
    "text": "Asking Larry Summers increasingly difficult mathematical questions until Bar and Mat Mitzvahs are considered equally important",
    "id": 2659
  },
  {
    "text": "Snotsicles",
    "id": 2670
  },
  {
    "text": "Naked News",
    "id": 2671
  },
  {
    "text": "Done Cherry's wardrobe",
    "id": 2672
  },
  {
    "text": "Syrupy sex with a maple tree",
    "id": 2673
  },
  {
    "text": "Terry Fox's prosthetic leg",
    "id": 2674
  },
  {
    "text": "Canada: American's hat",
    "id": 2675
  },
  {
    "text": "Mr. Dressup",
    "id": 2677
  },
  {
    "text": "The Front de Libération du Québec",
    "id": 2678
  },
  {
    "text": "Heritage minutes",
    "id": 2679
  },
  {
    "text": "The Royal Canadian Mounted Police",
    "id": 2680
  },
  {
    "text": "Stephen Harper",
    "id": 2681
  },
  {
    "text": "Burning down the White House",
    "id": 2682
  },
  {
    "text": "Being Canadian",
    "id": 2683
  },
  {
    "text": "The Famous Five",
    "id": 2684
  },
  {
    "text": "A Molson muscle",
    "id": 2685
  },
  {
    "text": "Poutine",
    "id": 2687
  },
  {
    "text": "Schmirler the Curler",
    "id": 2688
  },
  {
    "text": "The Official Languages Act. La Loi sure les langues officielles",
    "id": 2689
  },
  {
    "text": "Newfies",
    "id": 2690
  },
  {
    "text": "The CBC",
    "id": 2691
  },
  {
    "text": "Graham Greene playing the same First Nations character on every TV show",
    "id": 2692
  },
  {
    "text": "Killing a moose with your bare hands",
    "id": 2693
  },
  {
    "text": "tim Hortons",
    "id": 2694
  },
  {
    "text": "Quintland",
    "id": 2695
  },
  {
    "text": "Karla Momolka",
    "id": 2696
  },
  {
    "text": "A depressed tentacle monster",
    "id": 2707
  },
  {
    "text": "The periodic table of the awesoments",
    "id": 2712
  },
  {
    "text": "An erotic audio drama, complete with moans and groans",
    "id": 2713
  },
  {
    "text": "An addictive aerosol aphrodesiac",
    "id": 2714
  },
  {
    "text": "Debugging nanobot code while hung over",
    "id": 2715
  },
  {
    "text": "Never being able to touch your lover ever again",
    "id": 2716
  },
  {
    "text": "Majoring in mad science",
    "id": 2719
  },
  {
    "text": "Balticon!",
    "id": 2720
  },
  {
    "text": "A call on the listener feedback line that turns out to be a wrong number",
    "id": 2721
  },
  {
    "text": "Penis enlargement that actually works",
    "id": 2722
  },
  {
    "text": "Dirty Mad Libs",
    "id": 2723
  },
  {
    "text": "A killer corset",
    "id": 2725
  },
  {
    "text": "Professor Pinkertoot's Bosom Wax",
    "id": 2726
  },
  {
    "text": "Badly translated Latin",
    "id": 2729
  },
  {
    "text": "Detachable Boobs",
    "id": 2730
  },
  {
    "text": "Making up for 10 years of shitty parenting with a PlayStation",
    "id": 2731
  },
  {
    "text": "Giving money and personal information to strangers on the Internet",
    "id": 2732
  },
  {
    "text": "These low, low prices!",
    "id": 2734
  },
  {
    "text": "Piece of shit Christmas cards with no money in them",
    "id": 2735
  },
  {
    "text": "The shittier, Jewish version of Christmas",
    "id": 2738
  },
  {
    "text": "Swapping bodies with mom for a day",
    "id": 2739
  },
  {
    "text": "Finding out that Santa isn't real",
    "id": 2740
  },
  {
    "text": "Slicing a ham in icy silence",
    "id": 2741
  },
  {
    "text": "Rudolph's bright red balls",
    "id": 2743
  },
  {
    "text": "Breeding elves for their priceless semen",
    "id": 2745
  },
  {
    "text": "The royal afterbirth",
    "id": 2746
  },
  {
    "text": "Having a strong opinion about Obamacare",
    "id": 2748
  },
  {
    "text": "A simultaneous nightmare and wet dream starring Sigourney Weaver",
    "id": 2749
  },
  {
    "text": "Being blind and deaf and having no limbs",
    "id": 2750
  },
  {
    "text": "People with cake in their mouths talking about how good cake is",
    "id": 2751
  },
  {
    "text": "Sunny D! Alright!",
    "id": 2762
  },
  {
    "text": "A mulatoo, an albino, a mosquito, and my libido",
    "id": 2763
  },
  {
    "text": "Log.™",
    "id": 2764
  },
  {
    "text": "Jerking off to a 10-second RealMedia clip",
    "id": 2765
  },
  {
    "text": "Deregulating the mortgage market",
    "id": 2766
  },
  {
    "text": "The Y2K bug",
    "id": 2767
  },
  {
    "text": "Wearing Nicolas Cage's face",
    "id": 2768
  },
  {
    "text": "Stabbing the shit out a Capri Sun",
    "id": 2769
  },
  {
    "text": "Kurt Cobain's death",
    "id": 2770
  },
  {
    "text": "Freeing Willy",
    "id": 2771
  },
  {
    "text": "Liking big butts and not being able to lie about it",
    "id": 2772
  },
  {
    "text": "The Great Cornholio",
    "id": 2773
  },
  {
    "text": "Pure Moods, Vol. 1",
    "id": 2774
  },
  {
    "text": "Yelling \"girl power!\" and doing a high kick",
    "id": 2775
  },
  {
    "text": "Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time",
    "id": 2777
  },
  {
    "text": "Angels interfering in an otherwise fair baseball game",
    "id": 2778
  },
  {
    "text": "Getting caught up in the CROSSFIRE.™",
    "id": 2779
  },
  {
    "text": "Patti Mayonnaise",
    "id": 2780
  },
  {
    "text": "Cool 90s up-in-the-front hair",
    "id": 2781
  },
  {
    "text": "Several Michael Keatons",
    "id": 2782
  },
  {
    "text": "A bus that will explode if it goes under 50 miles per hour",
    "id": 2783
  },
  {
    "text": "The black half of Barack Obama",
    "id": 2791
  },
  {
    "text": "The white half of Barack Obama",
    "id": 2792
  },
  {
    "text": "Free ice cream, yo",
    "id": 2793
  },
  {
    "text": "Getting caught by the police and going to jail",
    "id": 2795
  },
  {
    "text": "My dead son's baseball glove",
    "id": 2796
  },
  {
    "text": "Western standards of beauty",
    "id": 2798
  },
  {
    "text": "Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri",
    "id": 2799
  },
  {
    "text": "Blackface",
    "id": 2801
  },
  {
    "text": "Some shit-hot guitar licks",
    "id": 2803
  },
  {
    "text": "Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion",
    "id": 2804
  },
  {
    "text": "An unforgettable quinceañera",
    "id": 2806
  },
  {
    "text": "September 11th, 2001",
    "id": 2807
  },
  {
    "text": "Daddy's credit card",
    "id": 2808
  },
  {
    "text": "A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana",
    "id": 2809
  },
  {
    "text": "An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation",
    "id": 2810
  },
  {
    "text": "P.F. Change himself",
    "id": 2811
  },
  {
    "text": "Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears",
    "id": 2812
  },
  {
    "text": "A giant powdery manbaby",
    "id": 2813
  },
  {
    "text": "Not believing in giraffes",
    "id": 2815
  },
  {
    "text": "Getting drive-by shot",
    "id": 2816
  },
  {
    "text": "A team of lawyers",
    "id": 2817
  },
  {
    "text": "Wearing glasses and sounding smart",
    "id": 2819
  }
]