CED_example.txt

SAMPLE FILE CED
The night drawes on, & is declining
towards the West.
Now shepheards bear their flocks vnto the folds,
And wintred Oxen fodered in their stalles
Now leaue to feede, and gin to take their rest,
Blacke duskie cloudes inuyron round the globe,
And heauen is couered with a Sable robe,
Now am I come to doe the kings command.
To court a Wench & win her for the King.
But if I lyke her well, I say no more,
Tis good to haue a hatch before the dore:
But first I will moue her Father to prefer
The earnest suit I haue in canuasing,
So may I see the Maid, woo, wed, I and bed her to:
Who is here? what ho.
Earl, welcome, how fares our friends
at court
What cause constrains your Honor, that thus late
You visite vs, that dreame not of your comming?
My Lord, I am come vnlooked for, very true,
So is my cumming yet conceald from you.
Your Honor shall repose you here to night,
And earlie as you please, begin your taske,
Tyme serues not now, come,
As welcome as the King himselfe to me.
Now, if Fortune fauour thee,
Thou maist prooue happie loue to.
This is the place, and this the appointed tyme,
I know heel keep his word, for he thinks me his friend,
But tell me, am I not well disguised.
Can any man discerne me by my lookes to be the King,
Take heed of that, for then our game is mard:
And hast thou promised him what reward he shall haue.
Tush fear not you, for you neuer knew honest man
dissemble with his friend,
Though many friends dissemble with honest men:
But, my Lord, the cards be shufled, and here comes a knaue.
Tis strange to see how men of our knowledge liue,
And how we are hated of the baser sort,
Because we liue vpon our wit:
But let the baser sort thinke as they will,
For he may best be termed a Gentleman,
That when all fayles, can liue vpon his wit.
And if all fayles, then haue I got a wench,
That cuts and deales, to maintaine my expence,
Now I vse her, as men vse sweetest flowers,
That while they are sweet and pleasant to the eie,
I doe regard them for their pleasant smell:
But when their cullour fades, and sent decaies,
I cast them off for men to trample on:
But to the purpose, here is the Gentleman
My honest friend did lately tell me of.
Sir, though I had another businesse of import,
That might haue hindred me for comming here,
Yet in regard I am loth to breake my word,
I haue set my other businesse cleane apart,
Because you should not iudge amisse of me,
I find you kind Sir, and your self shal see
How I will labour to requite your curtesie
.
This is the honest man I told you of,
One that will doe you pleasure in the cause,
So be it you will content him for his paines.
Els God forbid, and good sir, thus it is,
I bought a farme of one that dwels here by,
And for an earnest gaue an hundred pound,
The rest was to be paid as sixe weekes past,
Now sir, I would haue you as witnesse,
That at my house you saw me pay three hundred pound,
And for your paines I will giue you a hundred pound:
Besides, I will stand your friend in what I may,
You heare the cause, what will your conscience serue you to do it?
How say you sir, my conscience, then you touch me,
I tell you sir, my conscience wil serue me to doe more than this:
Why, I haue bene a poste knight in this xii. year,
And sworne to that which no one els would venture on.
Why, I haue sworne against mine owne father for mony:
I haue sworne right or wrong any wayes for money,
whe~ I haue receiued mony before witnes, I
swore to the co~trary
And do you misdoubt me in so sleight a matter as this,
When I haue sworne against father, mother, and all my kin?
I told you sir how resolute you should find him,
He doeth it without feare, I warrant you:
I think that in you could not haue found a man so fit for
your purpose,
I knew his father a man of honest reputation,
And one whose lyfe was witnesse to the lyfe he led,
He was a Bailiefe though I say't, but no Bayliefe that vsde
deceit,
He had too good a conscience for that.
Al the better for that, for it should seem by his
behaueor
That he hath had good bringing vp.
Indeed my father in his lyfe time was a man,
Giuen to the feare of God, and to vse much deuotion.
I, but he gaue nothing for Gods sake, except it were
hard words or blowes, and they had bene better kept then giuen:
But husht, here comes the Iudge.
Heare you sir, if you be in readines, here is the
Iudge.
I sir, fear not, I warrant you, is that your
aduersary?
What an old crust it is?
I think the villaine hath a face hardened with
steel,
He could neuer be so impudent els.
If it please your Worship, this is the man,
That wrongfully would haue my farme from me,
Facing me downe that he hath paid me that,
Which he neuer offred, not I neuer receiued:
And this day he hath promised to make proofe,
That he hath paid me ful foure hundred pound.
And so I can, and heres my witnes to it,
That saw me when I paid the money.
Why, I am sure he wil not say it,
I neuer saw the man in all my lyfe.
No sir? but I saw you, and was a witnes,
When this Gentlema~ paid you three hundred pound
As the last paiment for the farme he bought.
But where was the money tendered?
At the Gentlemans house.
You see father, this marchant wil be witnes
That he saw so much money tendred,
And you receiued it, being full satisfyed,
As the last payment for the farme he bought,
And if this marchant take his oath against you,
That seuen daies past he saw the mony tendered,
I must passe sentence then against you needs.
But wil you sweare on the bible this is true?
I sir, and to that intent I came hether,
For I wil neuer refuse to swear a truth while I liue
Yet ere thou speake, vouchsafe to heare me
speake,
Full three score Winters Gentle sir I haue past,
And age hath brought gray haires vpon my head.
Looke but vpon my face, and thou shalt see,
The perfect patterne of humilitie.
Thou man of worth, or citizen, what ere thou be,
Weigh but my charge, and then thou wilt not swear
I haue fiue sonnes, al pretie tender babes,
That liue vpon the farme that he would haue,
Twelue hundred sheep do feed vpon the plaines,
That yearlie bring a great increase to me,
Besides a hundred Oxen fatly fed:
That euerie Winter feed within my stalles,
And twentie poore men liuing neere my house,
I daylie feed, and all vpon my Farme:
Go but among my neighbours, where I dwell,
And heare what good report they giue of me.
The poore man neuer yet went from my dore,
But to my power I did releeue his want:
I was no Farmer that inricht my selfe:
By raysing markets and oppressing poore,
But I haue sold my corne full manie tymes
At better rate, than I could wel affoord,
And all to help my needie brethren:
Then ere thou swearst, cal al these things to mind,
And thou wilt weep, and leaue to sweare vntrueths,
Confusion to thy bodie and thy soule.
Wel, if thou be wel aduised, take thy oath,
But yet remember before whome thou swearest,
The God of trueth and perfect equitie,
Which will reuenge wrong to the innocent,
with thousand plagues and tortors worse than death.
By the holy contents of this Byble,
And by that iust God, before whome I stand, I saw this man,
Peace, shamelesse villain, execrable wretch,
Monster of nature, degenerate miscreant,
Who euer knew or heard so vile an oath,
Vildly pronounc'd by such a damned slaue,
Haue I such monstrous vipers in my land,
That with their verie breaths infect the aire,
Say, hast thou euer heard the lyke.
My Liege, such lothsome weeds must needs infect
the corne,
Such Cankers perish both the root and branch,
Vnlesse they be soone spied and weeded out:
Ile be the husbandman to mowe such Tares,
Here, let him be manacled:
And scar his forehead, that he may be knowne,
As for murder, he for periurie.
I beseech your Grace be good to me.
I, you shal haue a cold yron clapt in your forehead,
A hot one I would say, you are a slaue indeede.
Good.
Good villaine, theres no help for you.
My fancies thoughts, lyke the labouring Spyder,
That spreads her nets, to entrap the sillie Flie:
Or lyke the restlesse billowes of the seas,
That euer alter by the fleeting ayre,
Still houering past their woonted passions,
Makes me amazed in these extremities,
The King commands me on his embassage,
To daughter, beauteous,
The height and pride of all this bounding ill,
To poste amaine, plead loue in his behalfe,
To court for him, and woo, and wed the mayd,
But haue you neuer heard that theame,
Deceit in loue is but a merriment,
To such as seeke a riuall to preuent,
Whether romes my vnruly thoughts,
It is the King I cosen of his choise,
And he nil brook Earl should prooue
False to his Prince, especially in loue.
The~ thus it shal be, Ile tel the king the maid is fair,
Of nut browne cullour, comelie and fair spoken,
Worthie companion to an Earle or so:
But not a Bride for King,
This will alay the strong effects in loue.
Fame wrought in mind of.
Well, Ile to court, and dallie with the King,
And worke some means to draw his mynde from loue.
Neighbour I cannot but admire to see
How housekeeping is decayed within
this thirtie yare,
But where the fault is God knowes, I knowe not:
My father in his lyfe time gaue hospitality to all strangers, and
Distressed traueillers, his table was neuer emptie of bread, beefe
And beere, he was woont to keep a hundred tall men in his hall.
He was a feaster of all commers in generall,
And yet was he neuer in want of money:
I thinke God did blesse him with increase, for his bountiful mind
Truly sir, I am sorrie, you ar fallen into decay,
In that you want to maintaine houshould charge,
And whereof comes this want, I will tell you sir,
Tis only throw your great housekeeping:
Be ruled by me, and doe as I aduise you:
You must learne to leaue so great a traine of men,
And keepe no more than needs of force you must,
And those you keepe, let them be simple men,
For they will be content with simple fare,
Keepe but a boy or two within your house,
To run of errants, and to wait on you,
And for your kitchin, keep a woman cooke,
One that will serue for thirtie shillings a yeare:
And by that means you saue two liueries,
And if ye will keep retainers towards you,
Let them be Farmers, or rich husbandmen,
For you shal find great profit in keeping them:
For if you stand in need of corne or hay,
Send but to them, and you may haue it strait:
And if you kill a Beefe, let it be so leane
The Butcher nor the Grasyer will not buy it,
Your drinke is too strong, and tastes too much of malt,
Tush, single beere is better far, both for your profit, and your
seruants health
And at a Christmasse time feast none at al,
But such as yeeld you some commoditie:
I meane such as will send you now and then,
Fat Geese and Capons to keep house withall,
To these and none els would I haue you liberall.
Why neighbor, my goods are lent me to no other
end
But to releeue my needie brethren, but God I hope hath in store for
me.
I, trust you to that, & you may hap die a begger:
Why sir, if he should not trust in God, in whom
should he
trust, for God is the giuer of all good whatsoeuer.
True, and yet tis good for a man to trust to
himselfe now
and then: for if you be downe, and bid God help you vp, and do not
help your self, you may fortune lie and perish: and therefore, serue
God on Sundaies, as you are appointed, and thereby hope to be
saued, for by your almes deeds you cannot, for if you giue to the
poore, there be manie wil say, he thinks to bee saued by his almes
deedes: and thus you shal be ill thought on for your good wil, and
therfore learn to prouide for your self, let God prouide for the pore
I tel you neighbor, my great grandfather, & all my
predecessors haue bene held in good regard for their good
housekeeping, and their good names shal neuer take an
exigent in me, for I wil keepe such hospitalitie to my
death, as my state can maintaine, and I will rather sell my land,
to maintain hous-keeping, then keeping my land make sale of my
good name for housekeeping, but stay, who comes here.
God saue you sir, I pray be good to me for
cham
a poore man, and I cannot tell what you will doe, for you say my
horse hath broken into your corn, or your corne into my horse,
But indeed my neighbor saw your boy driue my horse into a field
But Ile stand to nothing, nowe I am warnd with a peece of
paper, and a litle ware, to prepare or proceed to London,
And there I am inuented, I cannot tell for what:
The Bailiefe here hath arested me ere I was weary against my
will: he said it was vpon your suit, & yet he laid his hands on me,
Nay more, on my shoulder.
And sir, and it may please you, I borrowed
certen
corn, and I brought you your corne again, and yet you rest me.
True sir, but then was corne sold for foure
shillings a
bushell, and now tis sold for two.
I sir, but he borrowed corne, and promised to pay
you corn
againe, and you can haue but so much as you lent:
For if he should pay you at the rate you demande,
You wold haue for the twentie bushels you lent, fourtie,
Which were neither right nor conscience.
O sir, I pray let me alone with my conscience,
You would haue me giue al I haue away to the poore, & want as
you do, I pray let me alone to deale for my selfe: heare you, haue
you rested them?
I haue sir as you commanded me.
Then to prison with them, til they haue paid such
dammages as the law shal award them.
Hear you sir, if you shuld bid your boy break
downe
a gap, and driue in my horse, twere litle better than plaine
knauerie, for my horse is as honest a horse, as any is in this towne.
Wel neighbor, we wil haue the horse examined
before an officer, and my boy Jack shal write what the horse speaks
and if the horse say a was driuen in against his wil,
Then you may haue the law of him, neighbor,
For all the horses in the parish wil be sworne for his horse.
But Ile stand to nothing.
Wel, to prison with the~ til they haue paid your
due,
away with them.
Nay, I pray, be more miserable to me, and I wil
giue you fourtie shillings when I haue it.
By the Mas the knaue hath a pretie cottage,
Ile see and I can get that: sirra, you haue an old cottage,
If you will make me that ouer by deed of gift,
I am content to draw my action.
My house? why tis my goods, my wyfe, my land,
My horse my asse, or any thing that is his: no you Caterpiller,
I will neuer make away my house, I wil die first.
But tel me sir, howe much wold you haue of them for
their trespasse?
Mary, for fourtie shillings, and yet I befriend
them,
Why sir, I hope you will not pay it for them?
But I wil: sirra Bailie, I will answere the poore
mens
debts, and come home to me for thy fee anon, go
old men.
Get you home and praise God.
Mary Jesus blesse you: naibor, how many such
good
Knightes haue you now a dayes?
Too few, neighbor, the more is the pitie.
But come lets away.
But who comes her?
God saue you gentlemen, the king greets you, and
at this time,
Hauing some occasion, to vse mony, hath sent to know
What you that be Knightes and Squires wil lend his Grace,
And you maister Farmer, be brief for I cannot stay.
Sir, though hous-keeping be some hindrance to my
willing
mind by reason it robs me of that, which shuld bewray my louing
mind both to my prince & country, money I meane which at this
time I stand in some want of, yet of that smal store that I haue,
am willing to impart the lending of the king xx. pound, and more
I assure you I am not able.
Very wel, and what say you maister Squire.
I say that my reuenewes are but small, yet I will
lend his Maiestie ten pound:
Very wel, but what saith the Farmer?
What can he spare the King?
Marry sir, I am a poore Farmer, & yet I can affoord
To lend the King a hundred or two of pounds,
And heare you sir, if you prefer a suit I haue to the King,
I will giue you fourtie Angels for your paines:
Besides, I will giue you the keeping of a dozen iades:
And now and then meat for you and your horse.
If you come to my house and lie a whole yeare.
Why thats well said, and I commend thy honest mind,
Would all men wer of thy mind:
I warrant thee, thou art an honest man, & one that loues the king
But tel me, what wouldst thou haue me doe?
Nothing but procure me the Kings letter to conuey
corn
beyond seas, for in England it is so good cheap, that a man can
make no liuing by selling thereof: therfore if the King wil grant
me his letter, I will at any time, lend him fiue or sixe hundred
pound,
and perhaps neuer ask it again, and I wil not forget your paines.
Sir, feare not, I wil do it for you, I warrant you,
For I tel you I can do much with the King.
I beleeue you wil do more than you wil be
commended for,
The Courtier resembleth the Iay, that decketh her self with the
feathers of other birds, to make her self glorious:
So the Courtier must be braue, tho he be hangd at the gallous.
Wel sir, wil it please you to come and dine with me.
I thanke you sir hartily.
But whats he there in your company.
A plaine fellow, and his name is.
O let him go where he will, for he shal not dine
with me.
See how the Farmer feares my name,
What wold he doe if he knew my nature?
But hear you shall I dine with you?
I promise you sir, I am very hungrie,
Trulie, if I were furnisht with money,
I would not stick to giue thee thy dinner,
But now thou seest I am but a guest my selfe.
Truly honest fellow, if I were certaine of my
cheere, I
wold bid thee to dinner, but know not my prouisio~ I promise thee
Heare you sir, will it please you to take part of
a peece of
beefe with me, you shal be welcome.
I thank you sir, but I must dine with my honest
friend
here, els I would not refuse your gentle offer.
See how he can vse my name and not me,
But I perceiue I may goe dine with Duke Humfrie,
God bwy Gentlemen, for none here hath occasion to vse Honesty
Yes, thou shalt be my brothers guest
and mine.
Mary and I thank you to, for now the world may say,
That dines with Hospitality to day,
Daughter, see that you entertaine the Earle,
As best beseemes his state and thy degree:
He comes to see whether Fame haue worthily
Bene niggard, in commending thee or no,
So shall thy vertues be admired at the court.
And thou be praised for kind and debonair,
For curtesie contents a Courtier oft:
When nothing els seemes pleasant in his eies.
Father, you shall perceiue that
Will doe her best in honouring of your age,
To entertaine the Earle of Cornwell so,
That he shall think him highlie fauoured,
Throw louing speech and curteous entertain.
How fares my L. of, what displeased
Or troubled with a mood thats male content?
Not male content, and yet I am not well,
For I am troubled with a painfull rume,
That when I would be mery, troubles me,
And commonlie it holds me in my eies.
With such extreames, that I can scantly see.
How long haue you bene troubled with the pain,
Or is it a pain that you haue vsuall?
Or is it some water, that by taking cold,
Is falne into your eies, and troubles you?
I cannot tel, but sure it paines me much,
Nor did it euer trouble me till nowe,
For till I came to lodge within your house,
My eies were cleare, and I neuer felt the paine.
I am sory that my house shuld cause your grief
Daughter, if you haue any skil at all,
I pray you vse your cunning with the Earle,
And see if you can ease him of his paine.
Father, such skill as I receiued of late,
By reading many pretie pend receites,
Both for the ache of head, and paine of eyes.
I wil, if so it please the Earle to accept it,
Indeuour what I may to comfort him.
My Lord, I haue waters of approoued worth,
And such as are not common to be found:
Any of which, if it please your honour, vse them,
I am in hope, will help you to your sight,
No ) they will doe me no
good.
For I am troubled only when I looke.
On what or whome?
I cannot tell.
Why let me see your eies looke vpon me.
Then twil be worse.
What, if you looke on me? then Ile be gone.
Nay stay, sweet loue, stay beauteous,
And giue the Earle of leaue to speake:
Know, thy beautie hath subdued,
And captiuate the Earle of heart
Briefly, I loue thee, seeme I neere so bold,
So rude and rashlie to prefer my sute,
And if your father giue but his consent,
Eased be that paine that troubles.
And this considered, shall prooue,
My father, and his daughter be my loue,
Speake, shall I haue her I or no?
My Lord with al my hart, you haue my consent
If so my daughter please to condiscend.
But what saith?
I say that seing my father grants,
I will not gainsay, what his age thinks meet,
I do appoint my selfe at your dispose,
Wel, nowe you see your daughter's mine,
But tel me when shall be the wedding day,
On Monday next, till then you are my guest.
Well, when our nuptiall rites are
past,
I must to Court, of businesse to the King.
Let that be as you please my Lord,
But stay not long, for I shall hardlie brooke your absence then.
Feare not, I will not stay there long,
But come, let vs in Father, pray lead the way.
Tel me, what thinkest thou of the
fauors of Kings
I think of Kings fauors as of a Marigold flower,
That as long as the Sun shineth openeth her leaues,
And with the least cloud closeth againe:
Or lyke the Violets in, that in sommer yeeld an
odifferous smell,
And in winter a most infectious sauour:
For at euery ful sea they flourish, or at euery dead ope they vade:
The fish being perfect white in the calme,
Yet turneth blacke with euery storme:
Or lyke the trees in the deserts of,
That flourish but while the southwest wind bloweth:
Euen so is the fauours of kings to them they fauour,
For as their fauours giue lyfe, so their frownes yeeld death.
Wel said,, but what merits he that
dissembles
with his Soueraigne?
In my opinion he merits death.
Then assure thy selfe, if
dissemble, he shall
die: but who comes here?, what newes, that thou commest
in such hast? and what is he that beares thee company?
It is my gratious Lord an honest man,
And one it seemes that loues you Maiestie:
For as your Grace gaue me in charge,
I went about into the countrey, to see what summes of money I could
make,
Among the cheefest of the communaltie:
And mongst the richest Knights that I could fynd,
They would lend your Grace at most but twenty pound,
And euery Squire would lend you Grace but ten:
Then came I mongst the rest to this plaine man,
And asked him what he would lend the king,
He aunswered sir, you see I am but poore,
Not halfe so wealthy as a Knight or Squire,
And yet in signe of dutie to his Grace,
I wil lende his Maiestie two hundred pound.
Thanks honest fellow, for thy loue to vs,
And if I may but pleasure thee in ought,
Command me to the vttermost I may:
hath too few men of thy good mind.
what newes? where hast thou bene so long?
A my Lord, I haue bene searching for a priuie
knaue
One that feeds vpon the poore commons,
And makes poore weare a thread bare coate,
It is a farmer which buyes vp all the corn in the
market, and sends it away beyond seas, & thereby feeds the enemie.
Alas, poore, what ailest thou?
why doest
thou weep, peace man, if any haue offended thee,
Thou shalt be made amends vnto the most.
I beseech your Grace to pitie my distresse,
There is an vnknowne theefe that robs the common wealth,
And makes me and my poore wife and children beg for maintenance,
The tyme hath bene ^),
That the Plowmans coat was of good homespun russet cloth,
Whereof neither I nor my seruants had no want,
Though now both they and I want,
And all by this vnknown Farmer:
For there cannot be an aker of ground to be sold,
But he will find money to buy it: nay my Lord, he hath money
to buy whole Lordships, and yet but a Farmer,
I haue kept a poore house where I dwel this four score yeare,
Yet was I neuer driuen to want till now:
I beseech your Grace, as you haue still bene iust,
To seek redresse for this oppression
I beseech your Grace reade my humble petition.
Let me see the humble petition, of poor,
Alasse poore, I haue heard my father say,
That was one of the best members in a commo~ wealth,
For his table was neuer emptie of bread, beefe, and beere,
As a help to all distressed traueilers: but where thou tellest mee,
I harbour him, and he is dailie vnder my elbow,
I assure thee tis more than I know, for I harbour none but this
which is my honest friend.
Is this your honest friend? the deuill a is
This is he: if you doubt my word to be true, call in Clarke of the
Assyses, now shall your Grace see,
How can shake out a knaue in this company:
Sirra, tell me who hath most poore men in suit at this Syses?
That hath:
He hath one poore man in suit for certaine Barlie,
And another for that his horse was taken in his corne.
But what inditemennts are against him, read them
First, he hath conueyed
corne out of the land to feede the
Enemie. Next, hee hath turned poore Piers Plowman out of
dores by his great raising of rents.
Next, he is knowne to bee a common disturber of men of their
quiet, by seruing Writs on them, and bringing them to London,
to their vtter vndoing.
Also, he keeps corne in his barne, and suffers his brethren and
neighbours to lie and want, and thereby makes the market so
deare, that the poore can buy no corne.
Ynough: now fie vpon thee, thou monster of nature,
To seeke the vtter vndoing of manie, to inrich thy selfe:
take him, and vse him as thou wilt.
Come sir, I thinke I found out your knauerie,
Away sir, and beare your fellow companie.
Health and good hap befall your Maiestie,
welcome, how fares our beautious loue,
Be breefe man, what, will she loue or no?
Then as your Grace did giue to me in charge,
I haue dischargde my dutie euery way,
And communed with the maid you so commend:
For when the Sun, rich Father of the day,
Eie of the world, King of the spangled vale,
Had run the circuit of the Horizon,
And that, the nights bright star,
Had brought fair from the
purpled mayne,
Where she was dallying with her wanton loue,
To lend her light to wearie traueilers.
Then twas my chance to arriue at house:
But being late I could not then vnfolde
The message that your Grace had giuen in charge:
But in the morne did appeare,
At sight of whom the straight did cleare.
Then was the spangled vale of heauen drawne in,
And rose lyke heauens imperiall King:
And ere the Sun was mounted fiue degrees
The maid came downe and gaue me the good day,
But being come, what said she then?
How lykest thou her, what is she fair or no?
My Lord, she is colloured lyke the
Maide,
That challenged at the games,
Well bodied, but her face was something blacke,
Lyke those that follow houshold businesse:
Her eies wer hollow sunke into her head,
Which makes her haue a clowdie countenance,
She hath a pretie tongue, I must confesse,
And yet she is nothing eloquent.
Why then theres nothing good in her.
Yes my Lord, she is fit to serue an Earle or so,
But far vnfit for
King.
So then she is fit for our Cornish
Earle,
But far vnfit for king:
Well, I sound your policie:
But tell me ifaith, doest thou loue the maide.
Speake truelie man, dissemble not.
I doe and therewithall,
Intreate your Maiestie to pardon me.
I am content to pardon thee,
And will be with thee my selfe ere long,
To doe thee honour in thy mariage,
And therefore thou maist depart,
And leaue vs til we visite thee at home.
My gratious Lord I humbly take my leaue.
If it please your Grace pardon me, and giue me
leaue
I would gladlie bring my Nephew on the way.
With all my heart, but stay not long.
I humbly take my leaue of your Maiesty.
Farewel, but tell me now,
What doest thou thinke of,
Is she so foule as reports her,
Beleeue me then she had bene vnfit for me.
My gratious Lord, hath dissembled
with your Maiesty,
For is fair and vertuous:
For last night, being in priuate conference,
He tould me he had deuised a mean
To collour with the King by forged excuse,
No, no, my is faire,
As is the radiant North star Christaline,
That guides the wet and wearie Traueller,
Soust with the surge of watery main,
And thus my Lord, he fell to praising her,
And from his pocket straight he drew this counterfeit,
And said twas made by beauteous.
A face more faire than is the Suns bright beames,
Or snow white Alpes beneath faire,
Who would refuse with to spin,
When such faire faces bears vs companie.
Faire neuer was so faire:
Nor she that was proud loue to.
Great loue, Queen of Amazons,
Was not so faire as is faire.
But, be thou secrete to the King,
And I will sound these subtill practizes,
And, be sure I will quittance thee,
And teach thee how to dallie with thy King,
But lets to Court vntill to morne,
And then weele take horse and away.
Now let vs constult among our selues,
How to misbehaue our selues to the Kings worship,
Jesus blesse him: and when he comes, to deliuer him this petition
I think the Smith were best to do it, for hees a wise man.
Naighbor, he shall not doe it, as long as
Jefferay the
Translater is Maior of the towne.
And why, I pray, because I would haue put you
from the Mace?
No, not for that, but because he is no good
fellow,
Nor he will not spend his pot for companie.
Why there was a god of our occupation, and I
charge you by vertue of his godhed, to let me deliuer the petitio~.
But soft you, your God was a Cuckold, and his
Godhead was the horne, and thats the Armes of the Godhead you call
vpon. Go, your are put down with your occupation, and now I wil
not grace you so much as to deliuer the petition, for you.
What, dispraise our trade?
Nay, neighbour, be not angrie, for Ile stand to
nothing
onlie but this.
But what? beare witnesse a giues me the But,
and I
am not willing to shoot: Cobler, I will talke with you: nay, my
bellowes, my coletrough, and my water shall enter armes with
you for our trade: O neighbour, I can not beare it, nor I wil not
beare it.
Heare you, neighbour, I pray conswade your self
and be
not wilful, & let the Cobler deliuer it, you shal see him mar all,
At your request I will commit my selfe to you,
And lay my selfe open to you, lyke an Oyster.
Ile tell him what you say: Heare you naighbor, we
haue
constulted to let you deliuer the petition, doe it wisely for the
credite of the towne.
Let me alone, for the Kings Carminger was here,
He sayes the King will be here anon.
But heark, by the Mas he comes.
How now, who haue we here?
We the townes men of,
Hearing your Grace would come this way,
Did thinke it good for you to stay,
But hear you, neighbours, bid somebody ring the bels,
And we are come to you alone to deliuer our petition,
What is it, I pray thee reade.
Nothing but to haue a license to brew strong Ale
thrise a
week, and he that comes to Goteham, and will not spende a penie
on a pot of Ale, if he be a drie, that he may fast.
Well sirs, we grant your petition.
We humblie thanke your royall Maiesty.
Come, lets away.
be aduised, the King hath sent to
thee,
Nay, more, he means to come and visite thee,
But why, I theres the question?
Why tis for this, to see if he can fynd,
A front whereon to graft a paire of hornes:
But in plain tearms, he comes to Cuckold me,
And for he means to doe it without suspect,
He sends me word he means to visite me:
The King is amorous, and my wyfe is kinde,
So kind that she wil quickly yeeld
To any motion that the King shal make:
Especially if the motion be of loue:
For Pliny writes, women are made lyke waxe,
Apt to receiue any impression:
Whose mindes are lyke the Ianamyst,
That eates, yet cries, and neuer is satisfied:
Well, be as it is, for Ile be sure of this,
It shall be no waies preiudice to me:
For I will set a skreene before the fyre,
And so preuent what otherwyse would ensue:
Twere good I questioned with my father
first,
To heare how he affected towards the King.
What ho.
my sonne, what newes?
Why aske you? I am sure you haue heard the newes.
Not yet, I promyse you my
Lord.
Why then tis thus, the King doth meane to come
and visit you.
And welcome shal his Maiesty be to me,
That in the wane of my decreasing yeares,
Vouchsafes this honour to Earle house.
So then, you meane to entertaine him well?
What els my Sonne?
Nay, as you will, but heare you wyfe, what do you
think
in this, that means to come and be your guest?
I thinke my Lord he shall be welcom then,
And I hope that you will entertaine him so:
That he may know how honours him:
And I will be attyred in cloth of Bis,
Beset with Orient pearle, fetcht from rich Indian
And all my chamber shall be richly,
With Aras hanging, fetcht from Alexandria,
Then will I haue rich Counterpoints and muske,
Calamon, and Casia, sweet smelling Amber Greece,
That he may say, is come from heauen.
And left the Gods to marie.
Zwouns, they are both agreed to cuckold me,
But heare you wyfe, while I am master of the Bark,
I meane to keepe the helmster in my hand:
My meaning is, you shall be rulde by me,
In being disguised till the King be gone,
And thus it shall be, for I will haue it so.
The King hath neuer seene thee I am sure,
Nor shall he see thee now, if I can chuse:
For thou shalt be attyrde in some base weedes,
And Kate the kitchin maid shall put on thine:
For being richly tyred, as she shall be,
She will serue the turne to keep him companie.
Why, men that heare of this will make a scorne of
you.
And he that lies with this wil make a horne for me.
It is ynough, it must be so.
Me thinks twere better otherwaies.
I think not so, will you be gone?
Father, let me alone, Ile breake her of her will,
We that are maried to yong wiues, you see,
Must haue a speciall care vnto their honestie:
For should we suffer them to haue their will:
They are apt to fall to any ill.
But here comes the King.
Earle, you must needs hold vs excused,
Though boldly thus vnbid we visite you:
But knowe the cause that mooued vs leaue our Court,
Was to doe honour to Earle:
And see his louelie Bride, faire.
My gratious Lord, as welcome shall you be,
To me, my Daughter, and my sonne in Law,
As was vnto the Roman Senators,
When he had made a conquest on the Goths:
That in requitall of his seruice done,
Did offer him the imperiall Diademe:
As they in, we in your Grace still fynd,
The perfect figure of a Princelie mind.
Thankes, but I thinke I am not welcome,
Because I cannot see faire:
I will not stay, nor eat with thee,
Till I haue seene the Earle of Cornwels wife.
If it please your Maiestie to stay with vs,
My wyfe shal wayt as handmaid on your Maiestie:
And in her dutie shew her husbands loue:
And in good tyme, my Lord, see where she comes:
you must leaue your kitchin tricks,
And vse no words but princelie Maiestie.
Now Jesus blesse your honourable Grace,
Come I pray, sit down, you are welcome by my troth,
As God saue me heres neuer a napkin, fie, fie.
Come on, I pray eat some plums, they be sugar,
Heres good drinke by Ladie, why do you not eate?
Nay, pray thee eat, it is ynough for
me to see thee eat.
I thank you hartily: by my troth heres neuer a
cushen
By my troth Ile knock you anon, go to.
My Lord, this is not, this is the
kitchin maid.
Peace, I haue found their subtiltie,
I pray thee let me see thy kitchin Maid,
Me thinks it is a pretie homely Wench:
I promise thee,, I like her well.
My Lord, she is a homelie kitchin maid,
And one whose bringing vp hath bene but rude:
And far vnfit for companie:
But if your Grace want merrie companie,
I will send for Ladies wise and curteous.
To be associates with your Maiestie.
Or if your Grace will haue Musitians sent for,
I will fetch your Grace the best in all this land.
no, I will haue the kitchin maid,
And therefore, if you loue me, send for her.
For till she come I cannot be content.
Father, I wil not fetch her: zwouns, see where she
comes
Succesful fortune and his hearts content,
Daily attend the person of the King.
And know that I am, daughter to,
And lately made the Earle of Cornwals wyfe.
Why, is not this?
No, my good Lord, it is the kitchin maid,
Whom in too much loue to me,
Hath thus attyrde to dallie with the King.
By my troth she lies, go to, Ile course
you by and by.
Away get the from my sight.
Go your waies, you are a cogging knaue I warrant
you.
Base, dissembler that
thou art,
So to dissemble with thy Soueraigne,
And afterward vnder a shewe of loue,
Thou camst to sooth thy leasing to the King,
Meaning by that to make me to conceiue,
That thy intent was iust and honourable:
But see, at last thou hast deceiued thy selfe,
And hath found out thy subtiltie,
Which to requite, thinke is thy enemie,
And vowes to be reuenged for this ill.
Go to thy husband beauteous,
For can subdew affects in loue.
Thanks, gratious King, myrrour of curtesie,
Whose vertuous thoughts bewray thy princely mind
And makes thee famous mongst thy enemies:
For what is he that heares of name,
And will not yeeld him praise as he deserues.
Nor hath your Grace euer bene praised more,
Or tearm'd more iust in any action,
Than you shall be in conquering your desires,
And yeelding pardon to Earle.
Will you be gone?
My gratious Lord, I humbly take my leaue.
How am I wronged, and yet without redresse?
Haue patience good my Lord, and call to mind
How you haue liued praised for vertuous gouernment,
You haue subdued lust vnto this day,
And bene reputed wyse in gouernment,
And will you blemish all your honours got,
In being tearmed a foule Adulterer.
forbeare for I will haue it so,
It bootes thee not to counsaile me in this,
For I haue sworne the death of.
And he shall die, or will not liue.
it is ynough, I am resolued.
Nay, if it be so, then shall not die,
And since intreaties can not serue the turne:
I will make proofe for once what
Arte will doe,
^)
What wilt thou?
Tel me what means the King?
I wil not tell thee.
I charge thee by the eternall liuing God,
That keeps the Prince of darknes bound in chaines,
And by that Sun, that thou wouldst gladly see,
By heauen and earth, and euery liuing thing,
Tel me that which I did demand of thee.
Then thus, the king doth mean to murther
But where is the King?
Seeking for.
But Ile preuent him, follow me inuisible.
I wil.
I haue bene this morning with a friend of mine,
That would borrow a small summe of money of me,
But I haue learned the best assurance a man can haue,
In such a matter is a good pawn of twise the valew,
Or bonds sufficient for fiue times the quantitie.
He is my neere kinsman, I confesse, and a Clergie man,
But fiftie shillings is money, & though I think I might trust him
simply with it for a tweluemoneth, where hee craues it but for a
moneth, yet simply I will not be so simple:
For I will borrow his gelding to ride to the Terme,
And keep away a iust fortnight:
If then he pay me my money, I will deliuer him his horse,
I wold be loth to lose my mony, or craue assurance of my kinsma~,
But this may be done to trie me, & I meane lykewise to try him.
This is plain, though trulie somthing subtill.
But here comes one would faine take my house of me.
Sir, I am a poore man, and I wil giue you
thirty
shillings a yere, if I may haue it you shal be sure of your money.
Trulie brother in Christ, I cannot affoord it of
the price,
I must let my house to liue, I ask no gains, but who comes here?
I beseech you for Gods sake, giue one
penie to the poore, lame, and blind, good maister giue something.
Fy vpon thee lazy fellow, art thou not ashamed
to beg?
Read the blessed saying of S. Paul, which is, thou shalt get thy
liuing with the sweat of thy browes, and he that will not labour is
not worthie to eat.
I, but he remembers not where Christ saith, hee
that
giueth a cup of cold water in my name shall be blessed.
Alas sir, you see I am old.
But thats no reason you should beg.
Alas sir, age comming on me, and my sight being
gone,
I hope sir, you will pardon mee though I beg, and therefore for
Gods sake one peny, good master.
Why I tel thee no, for the Spirit doth not
mooue me
thereunto: and in good time, looke in the blessed Prouerb of
Salomon, which is, good deeds do not iustify a man, therfore I count
it sinne to giue thee any thing.
See how he can turne and wind the Scripture to his
owne vse, but he remembers not where Christ saith,
He that giueth to the poore lendeth vnto the Lord,
And he shal be repaid seuen fold: but the Priest forgets that, or at
least wyse he will not remember it.
Now fie vpon thee, is this the purenes of your
religion?
God will reward you no doubt for your hard dealing.
Care not thou for that, wel neighbor, if thou
wilt haue
my house, friend, and brother in Christ, it wil cost you fourtie
shillings, tis wel woorth it truely, prouided this, I may not stay for
my rent, I might haue a great deale more, but I am loth to
exact on my brother.
And yet he wil sell all a poore man hath to his
shirt, for
one quarters rent.
Gods blessing on your heart sir, you made a godly
exhortation on Sunday.
I brother, the Spirite did mooue me thereunto:
Fie
vpon vsurie, when a man wil cut his brothers throate for a litle
Lucre, fie vpon it, fie, we are borne one to liue by another, and for
a man to let his owne as he may liue, tis
allowed by the word of
God, but for vsurie and oppression, fie on it, tis vngodlie, but tell
me will you haue it?
I will giue you, as I haue profered you.
Trulie I cannot affoord it, I would I could,
but I
must goe to our exercise of prayer, & after I must goe see a Farm
that I should haue.
Most gratious Prince, vouchsafe to heare me
speake,
In that the lawe of kindred prickes me on,
And though I speake contrarie to your mind,
Yet doe I build on hope you will pardon me.
Were I as eloquent as,
Or lyke were giuen to Oratorie.
Your Grace no doubt wil think the time well spent,
And I should gaine me commendations:
But for my note is tuned contrary,
I must intreat your Grace to pardon me, if I do iar in my deliuerie.
Why, thou hast found vs gratious
still,
Nor will we pull our setled loue from thee,
Vntill we find thy dealings contrarie:
But if thy parlie be for,
That base dissembler with his soueraigne.
Twere better leaue to speake in his excuse,
Than by excusing him gaine our ill will:
For I am minded like the Salamander stone,
That fir'd with anger, wil not in hast be quencht:
Though wax be soft, & apt to receiue any impression.
Yet will hard mettell take no forme, except you melt the same.
So meane mens minds may moue as they think good,
But Kings iust doomes are irreuocable.
Tis not ynough, where lust doth moue the offence.
Why, Counsellers may not with Kings dispence.
A Counseller may speake if he see his prince offend.
And for his Counsell rue it in the end.
But, leaue, you vrge vs ouer far,
We pardon what is past, but speake no more
Nay pardon me, for I wil speak my mind,
Your Grace may call to mind proud fall,
That through his wilfull mind, lost lyfe and empire,
And, that built huge Babylon,
And thought to make a toure to check the cloudes,
Was soone dismaid by vnknowne languages:
For no one knew what any other spake,
Which made him to confesse, though twere too late,
Hee had made offence in tempting of the Lord.
Remember, and the rest,
Nor had proud lost his head,
Had he not bene a foule Adulterer.
forbeare, and let this answer thee
Thou art too presumptuous in reproouing me,
For I haue sworne as trulie as I liue,
That I will neuer pardon.
Did you but see the man, I am assurde,
You would not choose but pardon.
Why, you haue seene as wel as I,
That hath dissembled with the King,
My gratious Lord, first cut that Traitor downe.
And then will others feare the lyke amysse.
I tell thee, were the Earle in place,
Thou wouldst eat these words vttred in his disgrace.
^), & in good time see where he comes.
But tel me, is this?
It is my gratious Lord, & this is
That layes his breast wide open to your Grace,
If so it please your Grace to pardon him.
Yes,, I am well content to pardon him,
stand vp, and rise vp,
For now giues pardon to you both.
away, My gratious Lord,
wil not forget
This vnknowne fauour showne Earle,
For which account my Nephew and my self,
Do yeeld both lyfes and goods at your dispose.
Thanks for thy honorable loue,
And thou deseru'st to be a Counsellour,
For he deserues not other to commaund,
That hath no power to maister his desire,
For being the eldest sonne of,
Did dote so far vpon an Almaine maid,
And was so rauisht with her pleasing sight,
That full seuen yeares he kept her vnder earth,
Euen in the lyfe time of faire:
Which made the Cornish men to rise in Armes,
And neuer left till was slaine:
And now though late, at last I call to minde,
What wretched ends fell to Adulterers.
And if your Grace cal tale to mind,
When that Egyptian craued his wife,
You will no doubt forgiue my Nephewes guilt,
Who by the mery iest he shewed your Grace,
Did saue your Honour and her chastitie.
We take it so, and for amends
giue me thy hande and we are friends,
And loue thy wyfe and liue together long,
For hath forgot all former wrong.
Thanks gratious King, and here vpon my knee,
I rest to be disposed as you please:
Ynough, but who comes here.
Why, I think I haue taken in hand an endles taske,
To smell a Knaue, tis more than a Dog can doe:
I haue disguised my self of purpose to finde
A couple of Knaues, which are yet behind,
The next Knaue is a Priest, calde John the precise,
That with counterfeit holinesse blinds the peoples eyes,
This is one of them that wil say it is a shame,
For men to swear and blaspheme Gods holie name:
Yet if a make a good Sermon but once in a yeare,
A will be fourtie tymes in a Tauerne making good cheere,
Yet in the Church he will read with such sobrietie,
That you would thinke him verie precise, and of great honesty.
What, hast thou dispatcht and found
these
priuie knaues?
I shal doe anon, I haue them in sent, but I wil be
gone.
Good Lord, I praise God I am come from our mornings
exercise,
Where I haue profited my selfe, and eisied my brethren,
In shewing the way to saluation by my doctrine:
And now I am going to the Court to prefer my petition.
I would giue a hundred pound it were graunted:
Tis a thing of nothing, but here comes one of the Court,
God saue you, brother in Christ, are you towards the King.
I mary am I, what then, why doest thou aske?
Nothing sir, but I would desire you to stand my
friend
To get me the Kings hand and seale to this letter:
I would not vse it to hinder any man for a thousand pound:
For indeed I am a Cleargie man by my profession:
Tis nothing sir, but as you see, to haue the Kings seale,
To carie Tin, Lead, Wool and broad Clothes beyond
seas,
For you know euery man wil mak the most he can of his own
And for my part, I vse it but for a present necessitie,
If you will vndertake to doe it, Ile giue you a hundred pound.
I thanke you sir, but I am affraide the King
will
hardlie grant it: why, tis an vndoing to the common wealth,
But trulie I will mooue the King to hang you Priest yfaith.
May it please you Grace to grant me my petition,
For I offer it your Grace in pure deuotion.
O monstrous:, didst thou euer heare
the like,
Now fie vpon thee base villaine, lay hands on him.
On me? nay on him: Priest, I gaue your petition
to the King,
And I wil speake to him you may be but hanged,
For if you should liue till the King granted your petition,
The verie Rauens would picke out thine eies liuing:
And therefore twere better you were hanged to saue the birds a labour.
Now, hast thou done, is here all?
O no, my Lord, for there are so many behind,
That I am affraide my worke will neuer haue an end:
But I see by the Priests lookes, he lackes company,
Stay a while, my Lord, Ile fetch another presently.
Fie, Gracelesse man, hast thou no feare of God,
To withold thee from these lawlesse motions,
Why, thou shouldst be as Messenger of God,
And hate deceit and wicked auarice:
But thou art one of those whome God doth hate,
And thy vilde deedes will witnesse gainst thy soule:
And make the most abominable in his sight,
That made thee but to a better end,
Then thus to wrong his sacred Deitie.
Now fie vpon thee monster of a man,
That for to gaine thy selfe a priuate gaine,
Wouldst seeke the vndooing of a common wealth.
And though thou bid ten thousand torments here
They cannot quit thee where thou shalt appeare.
A Prize, though it be long, I haue found him
at last,
But I could not bring him with me,
And therefore I pind a paper on his shoulder,
Meaning thereby to marke him for the gallous:
But husht, here he comes.
What? I cannot think that
wil be false to me
Why no, for he is false to himself, look in his
pocket & see,
This is but a false writ that he hath vsed,
Vnknowne to your Maiestie, and leuied great summes of money,
And bribed vpon your poore Commons extreamlie,
How say you my Lord, is this true or no?
thou sayest true, why, impious
wretch,
Ingratefull wretch that thou art to iniure him that alwaies held
thee deere,
Beleeue me, I durst wel haue sworn,
That had not hatcht so base a thought,
I, but your Grace sees you are deceiued.
But will your Grace grant me one boone?
Whats that?
That I may haue the punishing of them,
Whom I haue so laboured to fynde.
With all my hart, vse them as thou
wilt.
I thank your Grace: go fetch the other two:
Now to you Cutbert Cutpurse the,
Thy iudgment is to stand at the Market crosse,
And haue thy cursed tongue pind to thy breast,
And there to stand for men to woonder at:
Til Owles and night-Rauens picke out thy cursed eies.
Good Honestie be more mercifull.
You know my mind: O that wold haue more,
And you shall haue iudgement I meane, which is,
To be caried into a corne field, and ther haue
your legs and hands
cut off, because you loued corn so wel, and there rest til the crowes
pick out thine eies.
But now to you that wil do nothing except the spirit mooue you
thereunto,
You shall for abusing the blessed word of God,
And mocking the diuine order of Ministery,
Whereby you haue led the ignorant into errours,
You as you were shamlesse in your shamefull dealing,
Shal to your shame, & the vtter shame of al bad minded men,
That liue as thou hast done,
Stand in Finsburie fields, neere London,
And there be shot to death.
Good, be more fauourable than so.
Trulie no, the spirit doth not mooue me therunto,
But who is next, what, a Courtier, and a Cosoner to,
I haue a iudgment yet in store for thee,
And for because I will vse thee fauourablie,
Yfaith thy iudgment is to be but hanged,
But where? euen at Tyborne in a good two-peny halter,
And though you could neuer abide the seas,
Yet now against your wil, you must bear your saile, namely your sheet,
And in a cart be towde vp Holburne hill,
Would all men liuing lyke these in this land,
Might be iudged so at hand.
Well come follow vs to Court,
Where thou shalt be rewarded for thy paine.
I thank your Grace: you that wil damne your selues
for lucres sake
And make no conscience to deceiue the poore:
You that be enemies of the common wealth:
To send corne ouer to inrich the enemie:
And you that doe abuse the word of God,
And send ouer woolle and Tin, broad cloath and lead,
And you that counterfeyt Kings priuie seales,
And thereby rob the willing minded Communaltie,
I warne you all that vse such subtill villanie,
Beware least you lyke these be found by Honestie,
Take heed I say, for if I catch you once,
Your bodies shall be meat for Crowes,
And the Deuill shall haue your bones,
And thus though long at last we make an end,
Desiring you to pardon whats amisse,
And way the worke, though it be grosly pend,
Laugh at the faults, and weigh it as it is,
And Honestie wil pray vpon his knee,
God cut then off that wrong the Prince or Communaltie.
And may her dayes of blesse neuer haue end,
Vpon whose lyfe so many lyues depend.