2_acNtmiikY.txt

Speaker 1:          00:00:00       Liquid insulated walls put in five, four, three, two, one. Someone's got a new netflix show.

Speaker 2:          00:00:06       I couldn't think of any other way to start. Officer of what I thought. Oh,

Speaker 1:          00:00:23       so you do have new netflix specials? I do. I don't want this to be like an interview. No, but, but I, but I, but I like it. I'm actually proud of it, you know, it's like I'm still proud of it, you know, usually a certain amount of time will go by where I'm like, oh, like my mom. Even now I've gotten it better on the road because, you know, I was, you know, the day after you shoot it, you go out on the road and you're a murderer and you have a little fun with it and then you go. I. But I'm still proud of it and it was my favorite thing. I've it, the guy did. Jeff Rowe is the guy who, and Scott Moran, but just everything I wanted, they did it perfect. That's awesome. The look the way I did it at the lyric but, and the lyric is great, but there's no desk is the lyric in La, the lyric is in La. It's like at Melrose and melrose and libray pretty, but they sort of used it as a shell and it's already a pretty cool club.

Speaker 1:          00:01:15       But you know, the, the biggest compliment I got, someone said, you know, what's weird about your special I want to go there and it doesn't exist a what it looked like, where is that? They had good set people date. It just looked like a cool jazz club in New York City. That was maybe but not. It wasn't small because it was an after. You know, sometimes it's small but it's shitty. It's the look and it's cool. It's sort of a, what's the word? Kitchen? Yeah. I don't know what that word is. I mean, and that's the look they want. I didn't want that. Not that I think that's bad because some people have done that really well and it's a cool way to see a comedian just in a cool little raw space, but I want it small. But like, like it's a jazz club in New York City, but it's like 150 bucks to get in and it holds 100 people.

Speaker 1:          00:01:58       It's like that type of thing. Run like a theater. Well, you helped design one of my all time favorite clubs, helium and Philly. You helped design that place, didn't you? Well, when Mark Mark, uh, he acme at Lewis, Lisa, you know, touchy feely, he'll probably love to give you advice. So when it was just a warehouse like cement and I met him down there and he's like, I'm thinking of open up a club and you know, I told them a lot of stuff I wrote, I, I, I made like well email, you know, like six pages of, you know, here's the very detailed things and you know, what? He listened to a lot of it. Like I give him credit, you know, that's awesome. Great fucking club. Like there's something about those intimate spaces. Like, one of the things that I've noticed when I take people on the road with me and said, guys who have never worked at theater, like it takes a few tries to get. They go, oh, okay, this is a whole different thing. There's so many people here. You've got to kind of project to them.

Speaker 3:          00:03:00       It's like a different thing. It's not, you don't feel them the way you feel them at the, in the Oh, are on like a Wednesday night, right? Or um, comedy works in Denver where they're on top of you. You're like, you feel the people, they're more, right? Yeah. And then you learn it pretty quick though. Yeah. You know, do you ever do the belly room at the store? I've done it a few times. And of course it's, I love little rooms. Like I love like woman. I used to do tempe. You always did that side room on purpose. They will do the big place. But with the side place, you know, not to get too, but you get it. I was jealous. I remember I came over, I was in the other, the regular one, which is great. I was having a good time is but the one one, joey and I went next door and watched you.

Speaker 3:          00:03:47       I was like, this is better as well. Even in DC, which I think is a good example. DC has a 60 seat room and whenever I'm in there I go, I give it. I had a two piece band playing with a black tablecloth on all the tables, the lights or Gel blue, so now people are turning corner into this thick blue room with two guys with black suits playing jazz as they're being seeded in eating. So now I don't feel like it's an afterthought what you just said and I'll take it as a compliment. The other comedian that's in the main room there, which is awesome room, but you look into the little room and you're like, it just looks like something's going on and that's how I want it to look. No, it makes sense. Yeah, no, it does make sense. It's a. it's more of a hang, right?

Speaker 3:          00:04:32       The big show and your style so loose on stage like lends itself to intimacy. It lends itself to those nice compact spot. Do you ever do the Ice House that the annex room? I mean not forever, but. Yeah, I know what you mean. The craziest. The Ice House is about as deep as this room. That's fucking. It goes side to side a little bit. I think the whole room, that annex only gets, what is it? Like 70 people, maybe 70 people and all the chairs are like facing the audience. See that says, oh no, no, no, no, no, you're, you're sitting here, you're going to say goodbye to your friend for a little while, like some of the Improv and then people were watching the show like this and they have to kind of turn to look past the person next to them. They're trying to feed you food to like you're working in a half restaurant.

Speaker 3:          00:05:19       The thing about, I will say this about a good club. Most of the foods been served or I couldn't do what I'm about to tell you that I've done so that the club has to at least be good to go. Now we get the food that we have, food we can get out. But the time the show started we tried to have the whole room service, so in the event and like helium does that. Uh, but so I started making this announcement and I would tell people because I do my own pre show announcement, it has to do with what you said about when they're sitting sideways. And I would just go real calm, real. I go. Other than that folks, hey now's a good time to turn your chair around. You're always going to have to annoy someone to the right or left you. But now's the time to do it. And once all the chairs are facing, the sage will get this thing started. Play a little house and you know what? They wouldn't do

Speaker 4:          00:05:58       it, but another 30 seconds I'd go. So we're just waiting for all those chairs to get turned around and then we'll get it started. So it looks like we're close to show time and the second time, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Every chair in the room they're like, oh, but you know, I get it. It's a pain in the ass. And if I was in the audience I wouldn't want to turn my chair around. But guess what, once someone made me do it, you'd enjoy the show better. And they do. We got,

Speaker 5:          00:06:20       you know this, if you ever do those, use those yonder bags, those bags are. And to make people put their cell phone in a bag. Denver has them. Denver uses them for all their shows now. I started using them for all my show.

Speaker 4:          00:06:32       So you just accompany, comes in and just does it for you?

Speaker 5:          00:06:35       Yeah, you hire them, they come in and then when they put the bag, the phone in the bag, they still hold onto their phone and they can leave the room. If they get a phone call, like you have a kid or something like that and someone's watching the kid. You can always get out of the room, make call, but you can't call people when you're in the room. And I was having people calling people and talking on the phone. You could see them talking on the phone while the show's going on and people around them would be getting pissed off and uh, someone on twitter comment on it and he just, everyone's got their phones up and look, I know I've done it too. I'm totally a hypocrite. When I saw honey honey with Gary Clark, even performing this little tiny room in downtown La was a midnight show and like a Tuesday and I filmed it and I put it on my instagram. So I know I'm a hypocrite, but that was a rare occasion that it wasn't a comedy show. It's like a comedy show. You have to pay attention to what the fuck's going on. If you, if you're filming it, you're definitely not paying full attention. You're going to miss some stuff. It's just not the same thing when you filming shit. Like everybody is just, even if you're not, you're checking this and checking texts. And boy, we got a real addiction problem in this country with these, these are new things. Is your new object.

Speaker 4:          00:07:44       I, I realize because I'm not delusional that the amount of it, I can put most of it to breast with appreciate announcement where I'm at in my career. But again, as you get to different levels, there's different intensity. So I don't I get it. But um, the uh, I, I changed my pre show announcement when I went to see Brian Regan, the person next to me, I, they were texting, I couldn't hear them, matter of fact even had their light down. So you think, well, what could bother me? And it did. And it didn't matter if it was right or wrong, I know what it was. I wanted the person next to him and it'd be loving him as much as I was loving him. And the fact that I saw them on their phone, on or even they weren't making a peep, it started to bother the fuck out of me. I was getting angry and then I went, oh, that's, I'm going to do the same thing at my show. I go, don't turn your thing all the way down. I go, I know you think and you'll pull it out into your knee. I go, seriously, if you pull your phone out after this announcement, you, you look like a dick. I go and we're glad you're here and you know what it. You just have to pick it out an announcement a little longer, but it works.

Speaker 5:          00:08:50       I'm worried about people are really are. This is a really new thing. The more I'm thinking about it, the more like looking

Speaker 3:          00:08:56       at your phone constantly. It's really only 10 years old, right? Like 2008 ish. Then the iphone came around 2009 right before that people were a little text diy people. Some people more tech savvy than others. They really got into text messages, but once that iphone came out and once people started doing a bunch of stuff and apps and stuff on your phone, it changed the whole game. You know? I don't know, with this topic, if I'm like I could be way off or I could be off kilter the way I come to my conclusion about like, you know, you know, it is, it is a weird thing and even me, I could acknowledge it. Otherwise, if I don't acknowledge it, you're never going to tell some of the opposing side if they don't think you get what you see it, but it just seems like in the past now this could be different with.

Speaker 3:          00:09:40       No, no snarkiness it. Oh, this could be a different thing. Every time they think there's one of these things like TV radio too seems like when we get past, oh, I think we'll get past it. You know what I mean? I didn't think the world was going to explode, but I'm worried about certain. I'm not worried about the human race, but I'm worried about the lives of certain people, if that makes sense. Because it's like saying like, are you worried that cracks can destroy the human race? No, I'm not worried that crack is going to destroy it, but I do think you can destroy the lives of some people and I feel the same way about this. Right? Like the texting, like it's not just that. It's like being plugged into electronic to the point where that's where you're getting most of your stimuli from.

Speaker 3:          00:10:24       You're getting artificial stimuli. My concern, this is a real concern is that we're, we're getting really into that and then we're going to let it take the next step which is some sort of an implant. I feel like this is, we're in a movie within a movie about a person that becomes a machine and we're watching this rationalization process as we slowly get more and more ingrained and interconnected with technology. We'll definitely in our lifetime have somebody 100 percent. I try like what you were just addressing. Like we said before, like I, I catch myself and I really try. Like if I had to give myself a grade on how much I've improved on, like turning the phone off, like loving it for what's great about it. I give myself maybe a c minus, but it means I've made some strides and like turning it off.

Speaker 3:          00:11:12       You're not enough. Not Enough. Not for. Matter of fact. I remember a week ago I was going into the grove and I went, I'm not meeting anybody, and I left my phone in the car. It was strong, move strong to ideas, to ideas and I was high and I didn't want to write them down. I went, Oh shit. That's the thing about leaving your phone in the car. They'll take a picture or show someone a picture or it doesn't have to always be. But anyway, I try to go and, you know, never, never walking through, never walking through a line that actually could encourage you to write. Um, you know, you can just use hate writing, but I mean saying you see, you can only use your phone when you have a note or an idea. That's the only time you could use it. Well, that's a loophole.

Speaker 3:          00:11:57       Like I'm pretending that I don't even have this phone unless I need to make a note. You know what? I could put it on airplane mode. You could put it on airplane mode, then you still have all the other stuff. Although a ways my pants down. Oddly enough. That's true. Good conversation. Right? It does do that. He pulled my pants up and shit. That's why I like fanny packs. People just mocked me relentlessly. Can I tell you something? There's no way I say it all the time when I go, especially if I have my altoids and then I have a pipe and then I go, what the fuck? You're a pipe guy. Uh, I still do for some reason. They're old school. It's all toys. What else? What do you do? Like jazz clubs, pipes? What do you do? Like what is your typical way?

Speaker 3:          00:12:37       Mostly joints or vape pens? You know, it's the rolling of the joint that I have a question for you. Okay. And I think you might know the answer. I smoke. I'm not going to like, you know, pressured, blame you if something happens. I know I can switch conversation completely, but you might have. I have two things I want to ask you a question. Did I interrupt? No, no, no, not at all. Um, I smoke now seven nights a week. Wow. So I'll have like a joint. I would say if I had to put it in joint size, maybe a joint per night. So it's not that. Not a tremendous amount. None of that just at night. Not that I'm saying I want a prize for that. Just for me. It works better at night, but I say I quit smoking and I did. I quit smoking.

Speaker 3:          00:13:20       I used to smoke around a pack and a half a month is this as bad pack and a half a month is pretty. It wasn't horrendous, but I quit because I had a of day. Yeah. Is this smoking seven nights with a joint as bad as when I smoke cigarettes? No, it's not. It's not the same thing. It's not even close. Not even close. There's no evidence that marijuana smoke causes cancer. You can't. Do is get respiratory irritation. You can get. It can fuck with your voice. What about Tara? You can avoid all that stuff is what I was going to say with the vaporizer vaporizers, the way to go, but it is a different high. Oddly enough, vaporizer seems like a little bit more clean in some weird way, like when I get high with a vaporizer, I'm always like, whoa, this is like a. it's almost as if this is gonna sound so crazy.

Speaker 3:          00:14:11       There's something that's something that has to do with the fire interacting with the plant that connects you to nature. There's something about a lit joint this to take it in and you just feel natural. When I vaporized, I feel alien when I vaporize, I feel like this. What this is is like let's extract all of what it is to be a living thing and get to the molecules. What's the molecule? What temperature to heat those bitches up or I can shove them right in your bloodstream. That's what the vapor. I proceeded to vaporize, hang on hand up like whoa. Like it's just. You're not connected the same way. It's connected a different way. It's both. They're both amazing. Judgment will probably agree. I agree with you. Most people do. I think there'll be like, yeah, I know even a joint. I don't roll joints because I'm lazy, but whenever someone has a joint and they put it, I go, this is when I.

Speaker 3:          00:15:06       This just happened. So yeah, I get, I get a little higher. I like to smoke joints. They, it's feels like it's real clear what's happening. You know, like there's a lot of these vape pens. You got to press five times then hold them and you're sucking it in. You don't know what's in that oil man who's making that stuff and they get yelled at and yell at you when you can't do it. Just press it twice, right? It doesn't work with the press it twice. I got one more thing. Do you ever fuck around with spray jumbo spray? You ever fuck around with jumbo? Do you know what John? He put it in the water. No. Super Organic. Really high end edibles and spray. And this fucking spray will put you on the moon. Wow. Do you have any? Of course. Wow. But I have to drive.

Speaker 3:          00:15:53       I have some, some of hanging with me today, John Bryan Wagner is a shout out. Like if this is this, this is a thousand milligram, like if you drank the whole bottle, it's a thousand milligrams. That's too much to have. I wouldn't have a half of spray anything. I'm safe to do it right now. It's always fun to experiment spread. Especially because you're saying to do it. You know why? You know why it's more comfortable? Because if something happens to me and I can't blame me, blame. Let's, let's do. Let's, let's to do it now. I'm like the worst crack dealer. However you can do it now. Everybody wants to do taste and then I want to. I do have a question. You know, you might have an answer. What did you have a half a spray one spray good enough. Okay. Right. We're in.

Speaker 3:          00:16:45       What was the other question you think? Why am I asking you this? But I think you might've been answered so, but I'm being totally honest. I'm exhausted from dealing with like I, it's not like it's a big deal, but it's like the first time you, whether you could admit major things in your life. Like, Oh, I have a drinking problem. Can Be stupid little things. Yeah, mine is eating like I'm exhausted from doing it the wrong way and everything comes back to me for self control. So when people want to tell me about a diet, I know it's not portions. I know what portions are. I just want to eat more so it's all down to how do I fucking get self control. I have zero. I mean if I'm not going to call it zero self control, then I don't know what the hell I'm going to call it.

Speaker 3:          00:17:25       But as you heard about it for me, you're hard on yourself. I think you have selfcontrol todd think you're a wonderful man, but you're. You're hilarious. And one of the reasons why you're hilarious because you're so. You're free, you're impulsive and that sort of that. It's very difficult for that to lend itself to dietary discipline. It's like when I eat it, fuck it. Fucking need it. Right? That's you. But that's also part of what makes you such a hilarious comic. It's like you have these impulses that makes me feel better. You don't want to comfort, at least with what you're saying, you don't want discomfort and you want to have fun and it's like it's right there. They want to, I want to eat that food. Fuck it. Just the thought of me like picture me at the, at the cancer shoving cheesecake human in my mouth and my friends are like looking at me like todd and I go,

Speaker 6:          00:18:11       Joe Rogan said that because I'm creative, I should eat whatever I want. He said, go listen to his podcast. He said, I shitty. He told Joe Rogen and you can go listen. He said, clear up the mini bar before you get in your hotel bed, even if you're not really hungry. Creative. Okay. So I don't have control over this.

Speaker 3:          00:18:37       There's also a problem. There's another problem with discipline. This is a discipline. I think that hit me already. Yeah, for sure. No, that's probably just the, we'd hit you. It takes a little while for this prayer. Get usually a few more minutes than that. Um, I forgot my point point about, um, the self control. Oh, that when you really disciplined people and comedy, they don't go well together that much either because if you're too driven and too disciplinary, that's almost always dickie. It'll, you know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Like you'd be able to disciplined too rigid, too determined and in and to like too enthusiastic about success. You get Dickie. Let me ask you this. You know, and I don't. This thought could be wrong, like I'm okay with thinking something and then maybe finding out, but whenever a comedian, and I bet there's funny ones out there, definitely because over the years I remember my can't think of which ones, but they definitely exist.

Speaker 3:          00:19:39       They are funny, they are funny, but they've never smoked. Drank out. Can you be a good comedian if you haven't done those things? I think you'd be a good comedian. If you're a man, you could be a good comedian. If you're a woman, you could be a good comedian if you're gay or trans, you just, you a good comedian. If you're a good comedian. Is that. Why do I ask that? Because I'm not. I should be embarrassed to ask that because a lot of people that are really good that don't do shit, I'll never. Yeah, they don't, they don't have a desire to, you know, it's just everybody's brain works different and some people like the idea of losing control with a substance is not not fun. Right. They don't like that feeling, but they can keep their shit together, you know? I know a lot of people that don't drink, they don't do anything but they keep their shit together and maybe that's better for them.

Speaker 3:          00:20:31       They feel like it is. I don't know. I, I, as I asked that you gave me the answer that you know to go. You're right. You're right. But like I asked it means that I had questioned about that and I, and I think I've talked about this in the past and once I was like somebody was saying, well he may be, what if you're not experimental? But no, there's a billion ways to, to do those things. You used pot to do without the pod. I think. Edit that out. I use yoga for that too, man. I love going to a hot yoga class fucking hard and it's like a drug like you get a lot of thinking done in there, man, when you're just holding these poses and there's no no music, no nothing. Just everybody in the class. Breathing is a 90 minute class. There's some sort of psychedelic effect.

Speaker 3:          00:21:17       There is some sort of cleansing of the mind and I think that's one of the things that we overlook when it comes to mental health that your brain needs to be cleaned out. You can't just stagnate and think on thoughts. You bring these to your physical body, can clean your brain out a little bit, can get rid of some of the stress and tension and you can see things clear like those terms. Stress Reduction, tension relief. What does that mean? It means the way you fucking think, okay, you're doing something to your body that radically alters the way you're going to think about things and everybody's supposed to do it, and one of the problems in societies that you don't do it, but you have these instincts that are built into your body from thousands of years of what the. You know the what people ask of their bodies 20, 30 generations ago were all those same people.

Speaker 3:          00:22:06       So if we don't deal with what our body, just some physical activity getting, he's got to get the blood flowing. If you don't, your whole, you're like, you're like an overflowing battery or something. I as far as the stopping thing think I have a great idea for people to do to get a smidget of what it's like to stop. If you go, okay, I won't meditate or I won't do this. I get it, I get it, but this, if you do it, I promise whoever does it, that's listening will go. You'll get a little taste of it and it all happens naturally, but it started by accident, but then we started realizing it's about stopping. So like one night it was about probably 10 years ago after dinner or before dinner, I had some hot wash cloths and I was like, oh, just I get a Chinese restaurant joking around, but we all did it.

Speaker 3:          00:22:50       And then we realized, wow, that really stopped us. The heat putting it on your face. So now I make it. I have a ritual that I do. I have it all figured out. I get the less people the better because the hot wash cloth has a short shelf life. It has to be so scorching hot when you hand that to people. So by the time they get it to their face, you know he can't take warm. So I use the tea kettle, pour it all over, like six of them. And here's the rule. The radio goes off. Sometimes you think I'll leave it on. I don't feel like walking over and turning off. Nope. Even if it's jazz off and I ask everybody, check the pulse of the room. If everyone, if you take yours off and you're ready to start talking, but you see, oh, three people still have it on their face and I go, I'll break it, but just once the. Once you get the hot wash cloth in your hands, I go, it's going to be hot. You're going to want to go. I would taught it's way too hot. It's hotter than you think it is, so just get ready. I give everybody one. They put it on their face. No one

Speaker 7:          00:23:46       even has to tell them to take a deep breath. You naturally do after like a second because you need to see though. Then you let it out and then I go, wow, and then you literally spiritually, you shut down and then you wipe your hands. Literally take some of the dirt off your answer in the day and we always think, Holy Shit. Resetting yourself. That's a simple way to get a taste of an a. We always make the joke, we're like, oh, well, we're just going to eat and then we're going to go on throughout the whole day and then put our food. Okay, blah, blah. Of course, stop, you got us and that hot wash cloth. It's like, fuck. Yeah. I think your brain has requirements for those things. Those kind of things. I think those, those kind of moments are really good for your. Just good for your outlook.

Speaker 7:          00:24:28       A reset. I think that's like the same field than a, uh, maybe a primitive man would get when he would like walk up to the edge of a cliff and see like some crazy view and see nature and birds flying around the sun. This was, you know, hey, you know, this is a. yeah, I'm getting chased by leopards every day. But look, this is fucking amazing. Like a renewed enthusiasm about life, about life itself. And the simplest things. Obviously I have a theory. I don't give myself any credit when I have these talks when things are going well, like it's good. It helps you know, like, but if I can be in a tense moment and get out of it where I would have been, I give them that I'll be proud of myself. Yeah. That's the thing about all that motivational speaking stuff, right? Like it's like the guy who's doing all the motivational speaking, if he's pulling up in a Rolls Royce and he lives in a big mansion, so like, yeah, you're enthusiastic.

Speaker 7:          00:25:22       Look, everything's going great. How are you? If someone takes all this stuff away then and it becomes like, can you, can you be stoic? Can you be at peace when you're broke and you're by yourself and some one bedroom apartment somewhere, can you, can you do it all over again? That's the suburbs, you know? Could you imagine if someone told you Dane Cook was the first one ever heard talk about this. So give him credit for that. He said I would never want to try to do standup again. I don't think I could do it like that. It was so hard to do that. I would never want to start and do it again. Did you ever think like what it would be like you start again? Like right now you don't. You have zero jokes. You've never done stand up. But somehow I know that you have this vague memory of the grind that it takes to become an actual professional.

Speaker 7:          00:26:14       I think I do it. I think definitely, definitely, definitely, definitely, but death because you already know, right? You already know you could do it. It'd be a totally different thing. A question now that I think about it. Fuck Dane Cook. Just kidding. Just kidding. Dane, they'll get upset, but I'm saying if you. If you think about it like that doesn't even make any sense because of course you would know that you could make it so it'd be way easier even if you just started all can't in 21 again doing stand up. This is ridiculous. Are you. Are you 21 again or you just are. You are. You didn't have to start from scratch. I just do it to go get younger. But then once you made the decision you would in. Unless you live in some bizarro world, we're allowed to live two lives. You would never even have memory, right? You'd need 21. That's what I would. You will. All I'd have to do is just say yes, that'd be 21. Again, this is a stupid fucking question. Maybe yet. Maybe you haven't. Maybe he'd be like, no, I said this and that. I don't think he thought it through.

Speaker 7:          00:27:15       You said something a minute ago and that's when I should wait. Shit. Was it about the food thing? No, no, no. What were you just talking about before the. We're talking about discipline, like hard acids and then um, then we got to like how difficult it would be to start over, do it. I think anything like if you said that to a brain surgeon, you want to start from scratch, start from, you know. Right, right after you graduated high school, you want to take it from day one, freshman year, college. They'd be like, oh, just get them through. No, fuck that. Did you ever think of like, I know two things I would have done like before. When did you start standup? Eight. Excuse me. That was 21. Did you, is there a job you. When you were in high school, did you think you thought you knew what you wanted to do?

Speaker 7:          00:28:00       Maybe for a living? Not really. My, my number one option was teaching taekwondo, which already was doing. That's what I was doing. Mostly you were already, but I didn't, I didn't want to fight anymore and I didn't think that, um, uh, didn't think that dude be like a real future in me teaching. I didn't really like teaching everybody. I only liked teaching people that were super enthusiastic because I was, I was young at the time, like when I first started teaching on my own, I was 19. I was teaching at Boston University. I had my own school. You 21. Nineteen. Wow. Yeah. And in Boston and Boston. Yeah, I taught, I taught a pass, fail a class. Like they can get credit for it and I would say all you have to do is just show up and you get an a, just try. I'm just trying to get an a.

Speaker 7:          00:28:51       it's has nothing to do with your physical performance because the idea that everybody's starting on the same page as ridiculous. Some of these people have serious athletic backgrounds. Some of these people never worked out a day in their life and they thought it'd be fun to try something new. So the idea of like grading them against each other, I said I'll give you guys all in a. and I was their age. Are you allowed to do that as a teacher? Like they were. The worst they can do is fire. Man, I didn't care because it only paid like 200 bucks a month or something. It wasn't expensive. Wasn't a valuable thing, but it was a prestigious thing. It's like I'm teaching at a university and I'm 19. Did most people get the a everybody got an a no show up or all the times I taught. I taught for a couple of years. One or two people just didn't show up. You know, you're always gonna have that one or two people just say fuck you, they fuck off. But I just made it fun. You know, I was their age and so we just, we did a lot of cool shit and kick pads and

Speaker 5:          00:29:42       I taught him about the Turner hip and stuff and you know how to get power things you could see them. It's a, there's something very enthusiastic about someone regardless of what their physical ability is. Getting a little bit better and seeing it, you know, even if they start from nothing and then you see just yes, yes, you're getting it, you're getting it, and then see them beam like this. That that to me was what I was into, what I wasn't into as people that needed to be motivated. They just didn't. They couldn't. They would just half ass things. They weren't enthusiastic. They were distracted. Maybe they were talking too much, like you could do all that stuff another time, but if you want to get good at this, there's only one way. You have to be really interested in getting good at it. You got to be really focused on all the things you're doing right or wrong,

Speaker 4:          00:30:27       whatever. I see a comedian like, do you go back a year to a club? You saw a comedian, he's a newer comedian. If he has been going up at least twice a week and it's 52 weeks later, it's fun to see that type of improvement and you're like, wow. Like, yeah, maybe I've gone up what, 300 times since you've been here, but you can tell if they haven't.

Speaker 5:          00:30:46       Do you have any friends that you knew when you were professional and they were open? Mike makers.

Speaker 4:          00:30:51       Oh, you mean like they're professionals now? Oh yeah. You were a full blown professional. You met them when they were an open mic or matter of fact. It leads me to a little plug. Oh, it does look like you set a set me up for it. But Blake Wexler is a comedian. He's a professional comedian now and he met me when he was 15 or 16 at helium and he was wearing a conestoga shirt. That's where I went to high school. So of course you're like, you know, and he said he's a new comedian, so right away went to your high school and he's doing standup comedy. He was with his dad. We talked and I go, hey, if you want to come back with your friend Saturday, I said, here's my number. I'll put you on the guest list. And then you know, years year goes by.

Speaker 4:          00:31:29       I was in Philly, I called them. I said, Hey Blake, thanks for whatever it was. It would be a message I was leaving. Hey, got your friends on the guest list for Thursday, and then there's these messages. Then we became good friends, so he told me I saved every one of your messages about a year ago and I've had people say that before, but then they go, they got to race there when they got my computer and they lost them. He came over about a year ago with like 50 messages and so we put them on a CD and put them on itunes and it's a 12 years of messages from Todd Glass to Blake Wexler. Simple name, but the reason I think it's really pure, which is a weird way to maybe say it, but it's just for me to him now. There was probably three or four at the end where I knew they'd probably end up on there, but I mentioned it. I go now this whole thing is fucking ruined because I know you're making that CD. So now I'm aware of it, but most of them I never thought they'd end up on a seat. So it's just me talking to Blake and it sort of tells our friendship. You see the friendship grow, but it's there, there, there, there are some very funny to hear them years later. That's,

Speaker 5:          00:32:34       that's a cool. It's a cool thing to watch someone like that become a pro. Right. And just see them when they're

Speaker 3:          00:32:40       first starting out and that first year. So who fuck knows what's gonna happen, you know, you did. You decide I want to try stand up and then you start going to open mic nights that first year. Who knows what's going to happen. I mean you might eat it a couple of times and I'd be like, all right, this is too painful. Fuck this. And what other jobs that painful when you. When you fuck up. I know I couldn't even, I couldn't even think about getting a weekend. Like because you did the MC, I was on Wednesday and then sometimes you would a host. That was a good thing. You've got to host the open mic night and then do Thursday best affiliate, but getting a week. And I remember once sitting around with my friend, he goes, do you think you'll get a weekend ever? I'm like, I don't know.

Speaker 3:          00:33:19       Like I don't know why I didn't think I'd get a weekend. I mean that was. But that's what you think when you first start now. Right? I know some door guy told me I'd get, he goes, you're going to get a weekend. You know what I thought? He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about because I'm not going to be so stupid to figure. Oh Tony knows I'm going to get a weekend. But he probably did know he was, he was around comedy a lot. He probably knew something, you know? Yeah. He's going to be. He'll be, he'll get a weekend, you know, I got a weekend. All right.

Speaker 3:          00:33:48       Yeah man. When you, when you talk and when you're talking to an open Miker, it's like you're talking to someone who's going to make a journey that like if you had 100 open migrants, what are the odds that they become professional? They, they make it to, you know, a working stand up. I'm guessing. I want to guess it's one out of 100. Well, it's, when you say it that way, it, it is a bigger number, but if you take an isolated area like Philadelphia or whatever city and you don't have any of these, you know, when you go into a town sometimes I'll know like some of the newer Comedians, they, they hang out a lot. Sometimes they work at the club because they're new, but there's like a group of them and out of that group, whatever city it is, I always think somebody's going to maybe to even maybe three different levels, one or two at each level.

Speaker 3:          00:34:35       But there's always a hundred guys. Right. Like I started out with meeting the cream of the crop. Well you definitely are if it's in La, right? Talking about like when you're on the road lately or New York or when they come in. You mean like Bloomington has a scene and you think a lot of those people you two years later, like wow, look how good they're doing. And they're in New York now and they're so in a small group. But yeah, on the. Probably on the all the comedians in every city that are doing it right now. I guess it's a lot lower. Yeah. If you. If what I'm saying is from the person who makes it onstage the first time every week at the comedy store, you're dealing with how many, what do they get? 16 people in a night and probably more 20 people on an open mic night because they do three minutes each. Let's just say they get up 20 people a night. How many of those people are going to become professionals? It's might be one out of 100. It might be. Yeah, and that on that because. Yeah, and then how many people? Some people go up once, so Mike's are crazy. I encourage anyone, if you're not

Speaker 7:          00:35:38       even into doing standup, just to go watch an open mic night and see the mania and the madness and what some of it is. Just someone who you. You what you're seeing as potential, right? Or no potential. You're seeing one of those two things. Either you see it, someone where you go, that person is fucking never going to be a standup comedian. There's no way, there's just no way, you know, like there's no way. And then you're saying, Huh, maybe she was funny. Oh yeah. Sometimes when you say the first one where he would go, no way. It's not even. They did a bay. It's never based on. We're basing it on something. It's still a guest, but we're basically on something pretty fair. It's not like they're joke didn't go over and we're going on. No, it's. Sometimes it's the vanilla illness of the personality might not lend itself to be.

Speaker 7:          00:36:28       Sometimes their brains broken to. Some people just, their brain's not working right and they can kind of get by and regular life kind of. But you see them like express himself. Like I'm going to prepare something and bring it to the stage and then people go, what in the fuck is going on in your head, sir? There's those people and you're just not. It's not going to happen. It may be, might be perfect for music. They might be perfect for being the front of a punk band or something. This is, you know, certain people like I think it might be one out of 100, like if you bomb on stage with a song has got to be pretty bad too. Right? But you have like the others obviously the people that have just so nobody thinks we're being babies here. The people that have physical risks, that's way worse thing, right?

Speaker 7:          00:37:16       First responders, police officers, things along those lines. Even in sports, I always say I could never do it because in a comedy show and often it happens. Everybody can win in one night. Like if you're on the road and you're with two other comedians or three or whatever, there's so many nights where everybody wins. But in the sports, as you know, I'm always thinking I could, I could, I can't oppress you and I'm not even into sports. I don't give a shit about sports, but when I watch a game, I get a stomach ache for the other team. I'm like, ah, I can't take what some of comedy is a sport. You know why? It's because like you're attacking things that aren't there. Right? Like you're going after stupid laws and dumb shit that happened and like you, you're literally by using your words and the way you're describing things. Literally having a little battle with something that's not even there. I call them verbal. I hope I say right. Verbal Shit. What's it? When in prison they. What do they do? Shifts shifts or so? White Shank, shank a verbal shawntia. Shift them, shift them with your shank. We'll be back.

Speaker 7:          00:38:24       Okay. Sometimes when a comedian like has just a turn of phrase that would fuck it. I always go, oh, he's shifted him with his words. He just a verbal. I think that was correct. Correct. It's fun to watch. If

Speaker 3:          00:38:36       somebody knows how to do it. Good. That's what roast battle was all about. Rose battles essentially a support. They. They would fucking mock each other, mock each other's lives in jokes and be really mean. You know, in some of it was like, oh Jesus. They would talk about their looks like, oh my God. Some of them are. It's painful and I. I went and enjoyed it. I saw it up because it's almost a parody of a roast battle. I sold at the comedy store in the little room and it was crazy. But when I'm watching I'm like, I'm too sensitive. I would, it would crush me, it would just fucking crushed me. I don't want to know the jokes that they would make and of course some people don't care, but to watch other people. Um, it was, it was, it was exhilarating. Great Joke. Writing exercise.

Speaker 3:          00:39:19       It is unfortunately some people are really good at that and then. But when it comes to their act, they don't, they don't explore as much. So think about like if you're writing about someone, like there's some people. My point is that there's some people that I've seen that are really good at that roast battle. I see a lot of people do it, but then you see their set, their actual standup set and like it's missing a spark. Right? There was a spark that you had when you were in combat with this other person because you knew they were going to be firing at us. So you were firing at them and it was all in fun, but it was also a chance to flex your comedic writing skills will then when you're on stage and it's just you, then what? What is. Is there any.

Speaker 3:          00:39:58       Where's the juice? Are you upset? Are you excited? Are you like, what are you just pretending it's not a big deal that you're onstage with a microphone in front of you because that's a real problem too or you're pretending it's not weird that your voice is amplified, motivate someone to get. It's just a great way to say that like, why are you pretending it's not? You don't have to jump down, but come on. What's going on here? Where are you? Why are you pretending you're not fully aware that people are standing in front of you, hanging on your. Every word. There was a comedian like that in A. I won't even say the city, but they had a. They had a roast, a battle, a roast battle. The. There were some people from the history like Napoleon and it was. It was great. That sounds awesome because it was also a weight.

Speaker 3:          00:40:47       That's why I said it was a writing sample because you know if you were writing jokes you could also make statements, political statements and and go back and no one gets hurt because you're making fun of Hitler, but you still have to write great jokes and one guy that did it, he was amazing. Like what the. And I just thought, oh, he should know that he should be writing because he, his standup is exactly what you just said. And it wasn't. It was. But I was like, oh, this is. I hope he knows like, oh, that's your strong point. The thing is the standup, like when when you're doing something like that, you have a little bit more freedom. It's more open ended, but on the STANDUP, right? People are paying to see you and you. You're supposed to be getting laughs. Right? And when you're not getting laughs is this feeling of disappointment in the audience and when you're doing new stuff, man, this is a distinct possibility.

Speaker 3:          00:41:34       There's gonna be no fucking laughs in the spot where you wanted there to be laughs, you know, like, yikes. I thought that was a way, funnier idea, or maybe I just fucked up the way I said it, or maybe I just have to stretch it out and figure out where the good spots are and then start hacking it up and editing it, you know, but just going to be a real problem with bombing. You're gonna, you're gonna be have to be comfortable with saying dot joke. That's just not that good and some people just aren't. So they get to that spot and they go, fuck that. Let's do some tried and true, boom, let's hit them with some proven stuff. Boom. I know you got me nervous one night at the comedy store when you were like, just everybody. You were right. You were like, okay, all new stuff.

Speaker 3:          00:42:12       Everybody knew that was. And then I was like, oh shit. Oh, because we were supposed to. That was the show or something where I was like, I was up on stage. I'm like, Oh shit, maybe he's never seen this one. This is. Well we've done. Wasn't a stand up on the spot. So there was nick use of show, right. His new new stuff show. The thing was that, I forget what it was, but uh, that show you're supposed to only work on new shit. You're supposed to only work. We have like a weird rule where when you sit, when I came up with it, we were like, Eh, it can't be any older than six weeks old and he bit, you have to self police, but any bit older than six weeks old you got, you got to remember exactly because I wouldn't have fought that because that's a good move.

Speaker 3:          00:42:50       Right? Six weeks, six weeks is like, you got some time to. You're saying it's fresh and it's. Yeah, it's, it's new enough, but it's also like you should have worked it out a little bit. That's more than fair. More than fair, right. It's more than fair. It might even be four weeks. Four weeks might be the real. She'll pull it back a little bit back. A little three, three weeks, maybe three with dangerous three. That means you've said it five, six times. What more do you want? Sometimes there's a bit that works real good and then doesn't ever see those bits. They just die. This one's going to be a quarterback and then sometimes I never know either if I videotape myself, maybe I've learned. Do you record yourself? I don't. I don't. And I, and I'm so embarrassed because I know how good it is to do it.

Speaker 3:          00:43:32       I did it five or six times in my whole career and it was, it did so much good that would think that because I'm lazy, you know, when you, you know what you're just saying about you go to a joke and it's just dead, which, you know, just say I started doing this thing and it really helps me get out of those moments. So I'll just, I'll hit the punchline, nothing. So whatever. I'll go black. And then it was, well, I'll make up a punchline and it was blue, but you know what? Then I realized instantly, so here's what I just did. Sometimes in comedy, Ladies and gentlemen, you get to an end of a joke and it's not the crowds fault because you're great, but it just doesn't land. And it's uncomfortable for them, they feel bad for you. So what I did when I hit that period about 30 seconds ago, I just been talking nonstop ever since. And now we're here and everybody's happy. That's perfect. That's a perfect for like 15 seconds. And then they figured out. I always say, are they going to figure I go, so about 15 seconds ago I hit a punch and it wasn't your fault. And now everybody's great. Hey.

Speaker 7:          00:44:32       And then the whole, like a whole new premise, whole new premise launches those like, it's like Jesus Christ, it's like building a house out of your planting a seed and then you're watering the ground and then the tree comes out. You got to wait for it to grow and then cut it. Oh, you're talking about not a whole new premise, like weird out their premises or premises you've never discussed before. Things you never thought of before you go into a whole new way of thinking about stuff is so much fun, isn't it? Fuck yeah, it's awesome. It really is. I still like it really is just and the, and the. And um, you know

Speaker 1:          00:45:09       the recorder, like on the phone, that's changed. That's because I don't like writing stuff down and I can say that it's changed.

Speaker 7:          00:45:14       Did you do, do the text speech to text? Will you just talk into it and writes her notes for you? That's amazing. Every one of my. I can just put jokes on there, but in five I, you know the recorder. Well that recorder man, that just cleaned my head up. Yeah, recorders. Giant to pick deal. Yeah man. He anything where you can catch those slippery thoughts. Like, I think Neal Brennan said it best. I think he called his notebook. He's like, this is like a net where I attach ideas and I was like, Ooh, that is a great way of looking at it. That is a great way of looking at it because some ideas just go away. Like they're so profound. It's so profound. But then a couple of hours later you're like, what the fuck was I thinking? That always used to get me where I'd have this amazing idea what I thought was an amazing idea. And then I go, ah, that's such a good idea. I'll remember it in the morning and I go to school

Speaker 1:          00:46:03       lately. No, I still pull that shit. I've never remembered it. No, no, no. I still pulled out. I go, what are you doing if my phone, if I didn't have my charger now I finally got a court in next to the bed. So I always have a cord to plug in my phone. But I'd never. Why do I not half the time. Never. And I still have out. No, because that's a good idea. Never Hedberg had a job,

Speaker 7:          00:46:26       too lazy, too lazy to get up to get a pen to write something down. So I just could fence myself. It wasn't that funny in the.

Speaker 1:          00:46:34       But what's great is that that was a bit he did on stage and it would kill. I mean, I, I didn't do it. Well I don't remember the way you get the, you know, they used to. We were thinking, okay, I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to to. Yes. So lastly we were saying, I used to do Mitch Hedberg.

Speaker 1:          00:46:56       I used to do drugs, I still do, but I used to to. I mean, I still do, but I used to to. Okay. I know I. let me back up for a second. So I do Mitch Doing Rodney Dangerfield. Rodney, if he did, Mitch, I'll be like, I'll tell you the other day. You guys are used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to to, you know, do any Mitch Hedberg joke is Rodney and it's. And it's killed twitter the other day. I guess me if I wanted a banana, you know, I said no, I want a regular one later. So. All right. So I use, I do, they use to, I hope this goes somewhere. So I used, I,

Speaker 7:          00:47:30       I, I did the uh, I used to do drugs. I, so my friend asked me if I still do that. He, I go, I used to do the Mitch Hedberg. I still do drugs, but I used to too. I still do, but I used to to do something and it's amazing that you kept it all together. I did for, of, used to sense. It makes sense, but you nailed it. You dismounted. I shouldn't try feet flat on the ground. So solid dismount. Lube stumble. No, it was good. Was very good. Very good. Thank you. Mitch. He's like, to me, one of the more amazing comedians ever because what he would do was a complete nonsequitors who would go from one non sequitur to another nonsequitor nothing connected together other than here. Here's some other shit. I thought up. You know, here's another shit I wrote down and, and even though not through probably a good idea for everyone to know that does one liners, that there still has to be an essence of you.

Speaker 7:          00:48:24       And I'm like, even though he's jokes didn't segue together like they seem you're still, you knew who he was, but his jokes obviously like the, oh, he had a, you know, he definitely had there not just individual jokes, just glued it all together. They were all so silly. Right, exactly. That's the thing about. I've always said the best way to describe him, he's like one of my favorite silly comedians. I know. It's funny. A lot of people you don't hear, always complimentary. Of course it's silly and that's what I realized later after he died, like how silly. He was. Silly, so silly. So that was who he was. Very silly. So that, that's what you know about him, you know, he was the type of comedian he would get into his rhythm, like I would listen to him a lot of times on the way to the airport because uh, I was, you know, that traffic on the way to the airport is annoying.

Speaker 7:          00:49:08       He just wanted to just chill out and giggle. So I'd put on some Mitch Hedberg I just be fucking giggling like, and when you're just smiling when you're not, when he's, you know, in between punchlines and just have a big smile on your face because he, he would put on this silly vibe and you would get caught up in it because it was really fun. And then he had such great writing too and playful. It was, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. His Daddy, I think in Rodney had a lot of that too. You know, Rodney's seriously, seriously underrated comedian and his style. There was a great article about it recently, didn't we talk about this on the podcast at Rod. There was an article that was written recently about Rodney, I forget who wrote it like esquire and one of those things, but they were talking about how long it took him to become a good comedian that it wasn't until he was in his fifties, but he figured it out and it's like talking about him boiling down his act and talking about how many cutting all the fat out of his act. If you go back and listen to his early performances and you could see as more meandering and then towards the more standup p and I, I realized that a few years ago and you'll listen to the old ones and he would like, in other words of Joe, could be was still rodney, but it would be like this is more of a, a joke. A comedian will tell. Not really one line to be like, you know, like you know, you're old when your

Speaker 4:          00:50:28       family tells you. You know when your, when your family talks in front of you, hey, you know, hey, my pups in the garage, we got people coming over, you know, pop just sits there and drools. But that was more like a piece and I forgot about that. Rodney and then there's a lot of, you know, just a short little stories but they're not. And then all of a sudden I saw him, my board member, Bob Nelson Nelson opened for him and then I got to meet Rodney backstage through Bob and you know, it is when you think, you know something, it plays with everything, sexism. You think you know what it is, but you really don't. There's still a lot more to learn. Of course I knew what timing was before I saw Rodney. I could tell you I was a comedian for 10 years at that point, but I know timing is.

Speaker 4:          00:51:11       But then when he saw Rodney, I went, oh fuck, that's timing. It was so like I knew what it was, but I just got a doctor in and what it was. I just saw it delivered like the best of the best of the best and it, and I go now that I like, I would, I mean it was just crazy with the, at every turn and every and then just just when you think, how can he take you anywhere in the band kicks in and then he's like, you know, doing bedding music and all this the other day and my wife are shit. And then the pump, they got bigger and bigger. Then he started singing this song because everybody's saying them. But Rodney did it in his own way. He starts going, you know, uh, something about to dream that whatever the song is. And then he, he does about 10 seconds of it. And then he goes, what the fuck am I singing for? I'm watching him. I'm going, Oh my God, you ago, just a band. But uh, he goes, I know that this bad to you. They're just a band. But to me a bunch of fucking idiots. And then the band has their taught because they're all musicians from that city. Obviously they're taught, you know, so he goes, no, don't tell you what they are. They're not, and then they all stand up and they go, we're fucking idiots.

Speaker 5:          00:52:22       I got to see Rodney when I was 19 when I was working as a security guard. A great woods. Great Woods is a concert place in Mansfield, Massachusetts, and Rodney was there in the bathrobe era. Did you see bathrobe? Ron Rodney. Oh, he went out on stage in a bathrobe naked with a bathrobe on the Improv. You would show up and you're saying he was doing arenas. This place is big break thousand people. Isn't that great in a way that he was a fucking maniac. He was a fucking maniac. He was amazing. He was so free. He was hanging backstage and apparently his cock is enormous. His cock and balls were just hanging out. He didn't give a fuck. He just got this bathrobe on and he's got his legs crossed. Is fucking sack is hanging down and the security guards would be like, what the fuck, dude? I didn't see that. I only saw him. It's like a bigfoot sighting and I met him later in life, but to me like in 1990, I hadn't even thought about doing stand up yet. It was such a huge fan

Speaker 1:          00:53:26       of it. He walked from, you know, like, like you're looking down the hallway to where his dressing room and he walked from one room to another. It was like, what? Bigfoot sighting. Like I always saw him for a second, but I saw Rodney. It's like that. It's, you know, I said seeing Rodney was like, it's not like seeing the, like you saw Paul Mccartney or you. Yeah, you'd freak out. But seeing Rodney was like getting to see if you sell Fred Flintstone. You can't see Fred Flintstone. He's a cartoon. Rodney is so larger than life that it was overwhelming. You weren't just going taking in someone that was a celebrity and you see it on tv, but there he is. There he is like three feet from you and you'd be like, fuck, that's Rodney. What does that between his legs? No, shut up. Kind of getting covered by something. Is that real? Yeah. Oh, that's his boss. That's the sack or his dick or both. He's an animal. Bob would have bombed out someone of great stories about like, and they were so specific and you knew, Rodney said them and it was just so a couple came up to him after their wedding and they go, uh, do you know this one? No. And they go, uh, uh, if he could. He was trying to gamble. You know, Rodney, we just got married. What do you think? And he goes, oh, you're both could have done better.

Speaker 1:          00:54:41       What do you think? That's a well disguised insult. I'm telling you, it's a beautiful joe goes. People won't know that it was an insult or they get in their car. Wait a second. That means he says we're both. We're both ugly. Cancel now. That's playing ping pong in their head. Ductile both good and said, who is that an insult to? That wife goes, it's an insult to you. I think it's both of us. You Moron. That's when you find out who the Boston relationship is. Joke like that. Why? Who has to take it? It's me who's taking the hit. Yeah. Who feels bad about this one? Maybe you both be honest and just to make or both. Maybe a great thing when someone feels like they're too good looking for the other person in the relationship and that you could they be wrong? Yeah. That could be wrong.

Speaker 1:          00:55:30       I mean there are, there are people that like different things, you know, there's people like different looks. Some guys like big girls, you know, who knows, people like different shit, but if you think they don't like you as much as you'd like them, can I tell you what you do to prevent that? What do you do? I hope I'm answering. I hope, um, is that like, because you know, when people tell stories will be like and, and everything was great. I think this is addressing what you're saying. Everything was great and then it just, he or he or she, he or she or she, whatever the relationship is, somebody else goes and they wanted to end that. Everything was great lip look because what do you want them to do? Wait, I'm not saying there's not rules and feelings and how you present it, but I think most of the time everything is great and then you realized one day you wake up and I've had to me, I must've been on the other end of this and they just don't

Speaker 4:          00:56:23       want to be in it, but they stay in it because that doesn't mean they don't not care about you, so they stay in it and it gets bad. You see it coming. But so I always say I always let someone know. You let them know you're not crazy that they learn that by what you tell about past stories. And I once said this to someone that was very early, early, early on, but I said I have a feeling. I practice it in my head and I was glad I did it and I was like 23 or four at the time. I said, I have a feeling that I like you more than you liked me. And I said, I, it's okay. I go, let me say this because I don't want this to be the day where I threw you off. If I'm wrong, I really like you, so if you're, if I just read it wrong, that's great.

Speaker 4:          00:57:06       But, but, but, but that's the. I don't think that's it. I go, I won't. Of course I'll be sad, but I won't hate you. I won't be. I'll be okay. So then, and then he was like, you're right. And because I set it in a way that I could, that he would be comfortable to say, you know what, if I put a little bit of choke, a little bit of swell, but I was okay and I, and I want to know that. So that's my question to be delusion. I don't want to be delusional. I felt it and I asked and I asked the pack that the fact that I put that preface in there, look, I need to let you know this is not to make you feel bad, but I do like you because I don't want to find out. Ten years later I thought you were giving me walking papers. So I had to be clear with my feelings, but mainly let that person know. And that way I didn't end up in a relationship for another year where I knew the other person might. How could that go bad what I did? There's no way that could go bad.

Speaker 5:          00:57:56       No, especially if you're hanging out with adults. Right? You know, when I was a kid, I think one of the things it took me a long time to get past was it was always thought that if you talked about your feelings and your emotions, that was weak. That was a weakness. It's not something you did with your friends and it's not something you wanted to do with a girl. You didn't, you just, you didn't want to talk about your emotions. You didn't want to talk about how you actually felt about things. You wanted to play it stoic. You want to Charles Bronson your way through life. You know, that's a lot of guys tried to do. And um, that not understand like we don't the, one of the big problems with people because you don't really know who you like until you're around them for a while. You really don't. And then sometimes you're like, oh, I'm not into this person. This is the. I'm so bored. I can't have any more of these conversations. I can't do this. I can't do it. I'm panicking. I got to get out and then. But everything was perfect. Everything was going amazing. No, no, no, no. You thought everything was going amazing. It doesn't mean everything was going amazing means you didn't even check in. Right or the other way.

Speaker 4:          00:59:04       But no, that makes be bored as fuck with dudes where it's the same thing. That's why we say that like, I'm, I'm comfortable having the only reason I get nervous having relationship discussions when somebody's going to heavy on women are crazy. I'm like, that was any truth to that. You look at same sex couples if, if, if it was traded by. There's a lot of women. I think men are crazy. If that was true, if there's any truth to that. It's people. There's people that are evolved and there's people that are, you know, have a deep level head on their shoulders. Because if there was any truth, that one section was crazier. There's a science to disproving that. Then in lesbian relationships that you'd go, hey, how's your relationship? And they'd go, well, of course we argue a teeny bit here and there, but no, no, we're both women. So we're getting along great now. What we got rid of the problem and in Male male relationships, the same problems. It's not like you go, oh yeah, we don't have the crazy women. So when it's two guys date and everything is great. No same exact problem. So it's not the sex, it's people. Does that make you,

Speaker 5:          00:59:59       you're a hundred percent correct. You could not be more correct. And there's a real problem. We got a really avoid this shit. There's people that'll say things like, you know, women are all dumb, bitches are men are all p Shit and that that's nonsense. This, these gender based generalizations are so stupid. There's nice people that are women. There's nice people that are men. It's just, there's plenty of them. You can't have a few bad relationships and turn on other people and every person has the same gender and also like take a good look at yourself because if you really, you know, there's, there's some people out there that do generalize like that, like look at who look at your shit, thinking that you're just diarrhea spraying out into the world. You know? I mean, that's really what it is. Whether you're a sexist against women are as sexist against men.

Speaker 5:          01:00:48       You have such a piss poor way of looking at things. Everybody knows you're wrong. Everybody knows you're wrong. You think that, I mean, whatever it is, any generalization, whether it's a racist generalization, sexist, homophobic, it's all. Everybody who's listening knows what it is. You know what it is and someone makes a generalization like you're not. No, you're not looking at it, right? You don't know nice people that are black. You don't know any nice people that are black. That's ridiculous. Like, who the fuck are you? Like, how can you make this judgment when I've met so many? Like you're not meeting enough people or they meet you and they go, oh, this guy's a fucking asshole. So they avoid you. So everybody's got this thing that they're spreading about you.

Speaker 4:          01:01:30       Yeah. That's why younger people tend to, you know, just by being around. I wish there was a place you could go if you couldn't afford college because I don't think it's the education at college that you probably learned the most from. It's the being forced to be around other people. You Go, oh, I'd rather hang out with that group that I hated because we have the same taste in music and you learn it because you're forced to live together, but I wish it wouldn't it be cool if there was like, where can you go if you're like, well, I don't want afford college, but I want to put my kids around all. Well, some parents wouldn't want to do it, but kids could. I just want to be around every type of person, but you don't know to do that college. That's the thing about college and I didn't go to college. I didn't even graduate high school, but it isn't that true that that's where a lot of growing does with young kids when they're fortunately or another.

Speaker 5:          01:02:09       Some kids, they're living with really suppressive parents and the only way they even know who the fuck they are is if they could sleep in their own bed with open their own door with their own key going into their own room, lie and then just be alone and be away from these other fucking people that are constantly giving you these rules that you have to follow and have these lofty expectations for your success and like fucking Christ. You don't even know what you want to do and they want you to do something that's going to pay a lot of money. We're spending a lot of money sent you to sculpt todd. We want to make sure that you're productive, productive todd. Don't drinking, no gallivanting in their work, work, work, and meanwhile you just finally get a chance to listen to some music that you never heard before and hang out with some people from some part of the country he never been.

Speaker 5:          01:02:56       Maybe you smoke weed with them, you hang out and you're, you know, you're 18, 19 years old and you're just figuring out the worker a lot of stuff. Yeah, and you're free of the fucking parents. That's a big part of it. Ben, free of the parents to in every generation, every generation is more aware of how fucking stupid the previous generation was. Like there was some grand grandpappy days back on the fucking farm when they would, they would talk about their grandparents and their grandparents were wiser than them. You know, that's not the case anymore. The people today are more informed than any human beings that have ever lived ever.

Speaker 4:          01:03:29       By the way, you have just said. The only thing that I agree with when it comes to [inaudible], I always say, look, of course there's things we should go back and get, but mostly tomorrow's a better day, but it goes when there's something in the past that, oh, that's struggle. Oh, we should go back to that and learn that. I'm not just saying, but very rarely does someone get me. Mostly. I always go now and I, I get it from another, but that is something, but it explains everything that's going on right now, that two kids, while I always say kids are getting smarter than their parents, you smarter and the and um, it makes me want to be like a, uh, a, a progressive bully. Like I try to say I called you, I called her, he said that about you on. So mark married, not that word, but I go, I need people that are like, I think I might've said a bully but on the right side of history.

Speaker 4:          01:04:11       So it was a compliment. Thank you. And what I meant is a big God. It's like, yeah, fucking, but that's what I said. So, but you still, you still, when I say it, like as a character, like you still, you know, you look, you still, you have clean thoughts and you and you and you've changed your views on things. But when I say it like I want to be so mean. Like I want to be so fucking mean the other way. Like I know what you mean like dice clay, but with just anybody you don't want gay marriage, die already go home and die. Why can't people live and you ain't even drop dead. I hope your baby just the most vicious things, but all about people that won't like the you know all about does it mean.

Speaker 5:          01:04:49       Yeah, no, there's definitely some merit in that. Just people realize how fucking stupid is because you're mocking it so relentlessly and everybody's cheering along and then someone who might be entertaining those thoughts is going to listen to it. There's a guy on Sam Harris' podcast this week waking up with Sam Harris. His name is Christian ecoline and he used to be a white male supremacist and you get recruited when he was 14 years old and was in it for like, I think he said eight years or something like that and just was talking to Sam Harris about these horrific decisions that he had made and his group that he had got connected to and they were committing violent crimes against black people and like all this crazy shit that he was talking about. And then you listen to him now as this guy in his forties is like super rational and very intelligent and well read and it's like saying, look, look, I just got caught up in this ideology.

Speaker 5:          01:05:42       I went down this road and other people were doing the thinking for me and we were all doing it for each other. It became this horrific group think that he got swept up in. I think that's happening with progressive people too. I think there's a this, this, this need to be right and to shout down each other and and ruthlessly mock each other like that has to be used. Like nuclear weapons, like only in, in the case of severe issues were like, you've got a country. Another country is about to develop a nuclear weapon. They're gonna go after you first or they've already done it and you have to disarm their nukes. Got to be nicer to each other when it comes to talking about these ideas, because every time someone from the left attacks relentlessly and ruthlessly and viciously, someone from the right because of their ideas. You just start a back and forth. You're not, you're not looking at it in a way like there's gotta be some way to communicate your ideas in a friendly way.

Speaker 4:          01:06:43       You know what I do now and believe me, I'm guilty of this and I when I even from when I did my netflix special to now the way I do for jokes or like I changed it because that whole thing. Look, todd, do you want to take people with you? Or because someone said, I don't want to be Tucker Carlson to the other side, so flip it in. So fucking snarky that. So I go, okay, that's maybe what I am. I don't see it when I agree with the person. So if I see someone that's snarky but it says everything, I agree, but I go. So I do want to sometimes bring people. So change the way you say go in a little softer. Maybe you're trying to bring somebody with you and bring them over. But sometimes I want to split the difference and I could be wrong because sometimes I think when I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and I literally have to take a break on the podcast, you know about something maybe that gives and it's about a transgender issue, something I'm not going through, but I'm able to scream it.

Speaker 4:          01:07:30       So someone that's going through it goes, God damn it house, he's so close. Or when I can yell about a women's issue. So the Goddamn it screamed at the top of my lungs because they say screaming about what you're not. Because you can get angrier. Maybe it gives someone their dignity back. Maybe sometimes screaming into the Canyon is okay, but not to another person's face right into the canyon of podcasting or. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when it comes. But. But then you have to decide because the podcast is always a canyon. I think it's also you have

Speaker 5:          01:07:57       ability so someone is going to attack you. Maybe the only way they have the abilities to do it in a twitter post or a blog post. I mean, they're all people with their own opinions too, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4:          01:08:11       That's why you've got to look at things. Yeah. You always. Yeah. That's why I said I, you know, you then. That's

Speaker 3:          01:08:16       why I'm very aware that now trying just way too much stupid fighting. There's, there's, there's debate over issues about real things. Like right now what's going on with this? What do they call it? Walk for our lives, watch for our lives. Can I go ahead real quick? Because I prefer I have a few times and there's a belief in one post I want to take down because it's a woman that technically me and it turned into a sexist words flying back and forth and I want to take it down. If I could post why I'm taking it down. Because I think when somebody, even when your fans are defending you, I like when someone corrects their fans. No, no, that don't offend me with those words. You know, don't. Uh, so you're talking about before about when the verbiage is, you know, so always try to go in.

Speaker 3:          01:08:59       I think you're responsible if you're, if you're, if they're flying things back and forth and you're in a twitter war, if somebody's saying something, go in and say no, you know the word. You don't have to start throwing around these words has nothing even to do with the topic. If they're just, that's the way they express themselves. Like the way people disagree about things can change. Like the way they communicate, their disagreement can change how it gets resolved, you know, and. But what always happens is if you go hard, they go hard pack and I think we're, we're dealing with that back and forth in this country. And what I was going to say is about this walk far march for our lives, our lives is that what I'm seeing that's very confusing to me is from people who are gun supporters, like the NRA supporters who and some of them have even mocked these kids for getting attention by going to these marches and stuff like that. And they're saying that nobody would have heard of you or nobody know who you are. Like this is a ridiculous way to look at it. They, it's very defensive because they're, if they're feeling like someone's coming after their guns, so they're

Speaker 5:          01:09:58       going on the attack in some ways that's just really not recommended. Like the way they're doing their, the bench mark. They're mocking what the what the reason would be for these kids to be on tv that got shot at these kids that got shot at and they're fucking 16 years old and they're going to be on TV and someone's mock know would know who you were if it wasn't for this thing or. Yeah, of course, but they went through that fucking thing there. The few kids that have gone through this thing and the country that are standing on the public stage and saying, look at us. You got to do something. You can't have the same shit happened over and over and over again, and maybe they don't have the most complicated solution, but there. Right. And they're, they're, they're forcing people to talk and if anybody should be forcing people to talk. It's the kids that were around their friends that got shot, who realized there fucking parents are working all day and they come home tired and no one's going to fix nothing. No one has the time and the patients all in bed

Speaker 3:          01:11:14       with the NRA and all these different organizations is if they're on the left and everybody's beholden to their special interest groups, so these kids are seeing all this shit and they know nothing's gonna happen. Nothing's going to happen. More kids are going to get shot, more kids are going to get shot, and then what are the NRA people do? They mock these kids. That's crazy. At what point does someone pull you aside and go, I picture, I don't believe in violence, obviously relationships, but in the old movies when somebody would have to stop back, that's just stops full disdain for any retaliation. He's not even trying to hit someone with. The best part is, you know, you hit some with the back of your hand. The back of your hand is generally more sensitive. It's like it hurts. I'll give you hit someone in the back of your hand.

Speaker 3:          01:11:55       You can hurt your hand like I know a lot of guys have broken their hands in a fight because they hit someone with a spinning back fist with the back of their hand. It's not protected. So that's just letting somebody know. I'm so excited. Have you? We're just saying how to be more peaceful. I'm, I'm. What I'm saying is when somebody doesn't even mean we're not, I'm not saying don't have a conversation and don't disagree. Of course I'm not. We're saying the person that wants to shake you and stop you is once you start making fun of these kids, someone even that agrees with you, that there shouldn't be any. Isn't there someone on that side, they can go stop. And I guess there are, but when, when they say, you know, you should learn to see rick, Rick, uh, Rick, uh, what's his name?

Speaker 3:          01:12:36       Rick. I'm the guy who said if they, the kid should, instead of looking for someone else to solve their problems, they should learn cpr. Rick Santorum. Yeah. That makes you not like, that doesn't even make sense. You actually said that doesn't make sense. Doctors were tweeting it brilliantly, like you know, like that's like, so you're saying John Lennon, would that be alive if you'll go a new cpr, is that what you're saying? Right. You just gotta use CPR to repair that, blown out liver and they explained that to him, but then he talked about combating kids. I thought that was a great way. Just some really clean tweets from doctors breaking it down very cleanly. This would not. Doesn't make any sense to them as a Republican. So there you go. So what if I could just stop? One thing I really feel like is really important to this.

Speaker 3:          01:13:25       I think both the people on the right and the people on the left have way more in common than they think they have a part and I think that a lot of the battle that people in the left habits just they've chosen to be on the left, the same people in the right. They've chosen to be on the right. So anything that happens on the left, they completely disagree with. They. They immediately go, oh, that's a left wing liberal idea. And they just have these little back and forth with each other that are completely unnecessary. I think the majority of people just want everybody to get along and not have crime. You think Bernie Sanders maybe could have done that. Not good to have one, but what would have happened if he got the problem with Bernie is the same reason why he let those black lives. People take his mic and start screaming into the thing like, hey buddy can't do that. You're running for fucking

Speaker 5:          01:14:11       president. You're showing right here that people could just storm the stage. Take the microphone from you like you should say, I would love to have a dialogue with you. Let's do it publicly. Let's schedule it now. We'll come back. We'll get a large group of people and I'll speak with you on this stage if you represent this very important political movement, but here's what you can't do. You can't disrespect this campaign speech because you are literally stopping people from ever voting for me if I let you do it, because that's the fact. What if he watched him do that and then go, you can't let kids just take over your show. You can. You're the guy who's supposed to be running the country. You can't even run this fucking thing. You've got this one thing. You're standing on a stage in front of 300 people.

Speaker 5:          01:14:53       Three of them just took your mic. Congratulations. You don't have leadership ability, but what about other than that? That's a big part. That's big. That's not good, that's not good, but you know what? In the moment he made an error. That doesn't mean that's who he is. He's part of the problem is when people are judging you by these moments that you have, right, and it doesn't define him. He might've done that and go, well, yeah, I was just trying to be nice. I didn't expect that. I thought security was going to get them out of there, but they didn't get. No, they didn't. Well, they wound up on the stage with them screaming.

Speaker 4:          01:15:25       I thought maybe he. I didn't see him when he did those types of things. A few times. See the video, want to see it is kind of interesting. I thought it was his way of saying, look, I get it. What it must feel like to not be able to be heard and it's not my fault that no one's ever listened to you so far, but what do we have to do? And then maybe he feels they go up and they just a sane person would lead. It would leave the same person. When you ignore that long, they just grab a mic and maybe he goes, I have to be a part of letting this person spill out. A little

Speaker 5:          01:15:52       problem is then who doesn't spill out? Everybody can spill out. Everybody can jump up for their own cause, whether it's white power or fucking Jews lives matter, whatever it is. You could just decide you have a group now and your group may very well be valid, but you can just decide now you're just going to yell out when whenever there's some sort of a political speech and then it'll be your chance to talk and just going to take the mic and make it all about you. Yeah, there's got to be. There are a lot of things we need to be concerned with. We need to be concerned with war we need do we need to be concerned with poverty, education, healthcare, all these different things, but you can't just represent each one of these very, very important groups and jump on stage everywhere and start yelling. Do you know what I thought? Does that make sense? Yes, I should be. I should be just done with you.

Speaker 4:          01:16:40       No, no. Why? It's because this subject is. It gets so exhausting. I know. Let me add one more thing. No, because I, by the way, you know, you have these theories in your head and then sometimes somebody will respond and and blow it out, you know, just on your omega. I never thought about that, but I had this theory. It was a weird way that I thought about it. Well two things. One kids do. I'm stealing from the act that teeny bit, but just because it's a stat I use in the kids do. If there was yelp review, young adults have an amazing yelp review for being on the right side. Who they, who they root for, who they are. I think music

Speaker 5:          01:17:16       dealing with some left wing democratic out here. Kids like what? Do you ever talked to some kids from Alabama,

Speaker 4:          01:17:24       but I'm talking about on the masses of kids that, that March. Oh, the ones that are ones that march the ones that get involved. If you go back and look at like, you know, Kent State or you know, I'm sorry. I'm sure we could. We can pull up 50. But so with that said, now I'm not saying we shouldn't doubt them. If I had a gun to my head and someone said if we had a crystal ball, are they making the right choice about Bernie Sanders? These kids. And I go, Oh, let me ask you. I got to talk about that for five. I got to watch a campaign. I got to watch a debate. I can. How's he going to handle public policy? How's he going to. I can't just ask. They go, we're going to shoot you in your head. I go with kids overwhelmingly kids like him.

Speaker 4:          01:18:01       Yeah, he's got to do the right thing and I think if there was a crystal ball, here's my theory, but I've never said this. I think out loud that maybe 50 years from now, just like we're learning about history, they would talk about him in the way that, you know, this guy came into office, picks your kids and they're telling them why maybe 2000, 22 started to be these good times and there's talking about history and a guy came in the office and he really didn't know anything about the. The he didn't really know about was he was not. He didn't know about war. He didn't know about. No and no one thought he could really do it, but he was one thing that you wouldn't think would answer our economical problems. You can be a nice hearted person, but that's not going to answer your economical problems, but it ended up doing that because he, he did truly treat everybody kind and it ended up then when people started to be treated fairly. If the world worked better with less depressed people, I'm not saying everybody, but people would torture people. We had someone empowered. It was overwhelmingly kind and people felt the wrath that almost very quickly maybe we go and then you know what? No one ever thought this than some of the economical problems worked out the work themselves out. Now that is based on no science. No. Well, yeah, I'm acknowledging that, but that was in my head that

Speaker 5:          01:19:19       the economy is apparently a very complicated thing that can be interpreted many ways. Like there are many people right now that will tell you the economy has never been better. Stock market's booming. Uh, black people are more employed today than ever in history, and these are like the mega people, right? They'll, they'll jump on that and other people will tell, you know, we're, we're sitting on a bunch of huge bubbles, a commercial real estate bubble and credit bubble and all this different shit that could go down at any moment. There's all sorts of problems. We're getting automated cars soon. It's going to put thousands of people out of jobs if not millions. You know? It's hard to figure out who the fuck's right? It's hard. It's when you talk about like a dummy like you or myself and trying to prognosticate like what would make people successful and would make people not what I.

Speaker 5:          01:20:08       I don't know about the economic part, but what I do know is his long as you have a person who's kind but also from like a person who's kind, but you also. You're not worried about them. If something happens with China or Russia, like we live in a crazy world. We live in a world where there's really basically three superpowers but one motherfucker of a superpower and that's us, but we're run by a guy who used to host celebrity apprentice. Okay. Like it's gotten super squirrely. It's super squirrely and there's all these other people that are other superpowers that are going, what's going on over there? That place don't look so fucking healthy. That place looks a little fucked up right now and this is like they're expelling Russian diplomats and all this crazy shit's going down and, and potent just one another election and we're watching this thing go down between the top three superpowers in one of them is one by a maniac, maybe two of them are, but one of them is run by a guy who knows a maniac and we put them in there and a lot of people are still going along with it and they like it.

Speaker 4:          01:21:16       So I. Oh, I got a question for you. Okay. With no, not, not like snarky or anything because I was trying to think like, you know, like there's more things you said we have in common. Then there's got to be some commonalities. Freedom. Freedom's number one would be one that you could like. Because I always think like anything I could get, defend trombone, even if it's stupid. I go out of my way to defend it one time. Someone who, it doesn't matter what it was. There were two times and I did. I went, no, that's the. He didn't do anything or what's something positive about trump that you or what they want to build, they want to pass or something they want to do that you think I'm okay with that. Like what? What are some of those things? Are there any. As far as bills, you're like something you can be positive. Even meet in the middle and you said that and

Speaker 5:          01:22:00       seen anything. That made me very excited. I've seen more things that made me very nervous. The offshore drilling, that makes me very nervous. Obviously those things break sometimes. We've had a few of them in our lifetimes. The Alaska one, that was a big one. I remember that it happened right when I was in high school or no, I was right when I was starting to do standup. That's what it was like literally right around then the valve ds had crashed and leaked all that oil into and just destroyed this delicate ecosystem with millions of gallons of oil or whatever it was. How many thousands gallons or whatever the fuck it was, but that they're gonna, they're gonna have more offshore drilling. That scares the shit out of me. They they're getting rid of certain public parks and shrinking them and opening up these, drilling these, these areas for drilling and natural resources that make people very nervous. In doing this, they could be damaging rivers and that these delicate ecosystems where people go and hike and camp through and they're going to close these down. That's the real concern. The real is that gonna

Speaker 7:          01:23:06       people are gonna somehow or another we're gonna suffer because so that some companies can profit incredibly off of natural land, natural resources that are on public land. That's a big fear because that's some shit that is really unusual about this country and some some shit that Teddy Roosevelt saw way, way in advance. He saw the benefit of doing this, of having these massive national parks. Yeah, sure. In in one. What about positive? I was asking because you're saying that that's the number one negative, all this social stuff. I mean, I feel like the most hilarious thing is that Kim Jong. Owen actually wants to talk to him. It's like, this guy is so crazy. Maybe maybe I'll just talk to them. I mean like what he wants to tell nobody. Nobody else wanted to have meetings with that guy. Right? He's wanted to talk to a president for the longest time and they would talk to him.

Speaker 7:          01:24:00       Right? Because they don't want to give them that good photo opportunity. At the very least. That's hilarious. They're worried about their facebook page. Would we witness that if they talked? Fuck yeah. We would witness it and trump would tower over them. It'd be so creepy. Trump's a big guy and you see what happens when you ever seen pictures of him with desert robin. Do you ever see pictures of Kim Johnson? I'm good, dude. Kim Jong swoon is a huge basketball fan, apparently. And loves Dennis Rodman. Dennis Rodman goes to North Korea parties, right? Right. Dennis Rodman, like if trump was smart. I know trump hired Amarosa. Trump's definitely hired Dennis Rodman. Fucking 100 percent, like 100 percent. Say Dennis Rodman. Please would you be my emissary? Look at that. Without big. Dennis Rodman is as large fellow and he's not even big compared to like a really big guy. Right? Like Lebron. What if he had big, but what's his name?

Speaker 7:          01:24:56       King a King Jong what? Kim Jong wound. They still can't get a picture of Kim Jong, Il. John with Dennis Rodman. What if you were like, Eh, you think it'd be bad if you went like foot high platforms? Deadly already. But he denied it. Yeah, he probably would. And he had long pants trying to cover them while he's Korean. Well, he's North Korean. Uh, there's some Korean folks that are pretty big. Um, I remember, um, when I was a kid, the kid who won the heavyweight national title is named Jimmy Kim. He was a big Korean kid, big heavyweight kid who was really good. Six foot five. So I don't know how big Kim Jong Luna's, but I bet he looks tiny compared to Dennis Rodman. Two foot three. I just looked it up on my phone. Wow. That was quick. I think, um, it would be a weird meeting, but it might actually be okay. It might be good. This people gotta, something's gotTa break over there like what they're doing is just saying the way they keep those people essentially hostage. There's no food. The people that have escaped had horrible fucking parasites in their body and like, see, I feel bad. I don't know. So guys escaped and got shot at

Speaker 5:          01:26:04       on the border. Fascinating footage. You're saying they keep them hostage. Who are you talking about? The people of North Korea, they're essentially held hostage. I mean they're there. They're trapped by dear leader. You know what they have to do? Like if when when the dad died, these people were all weeping in the street and they had a weep like outwardly, loudly, as long as they could do it, and if you stop weeping early, you'd be punished. And people who they felt weren't weeping enough got six months in jail. It's a crazy place and everyone turns on everyone. Everyone, rats, everyone else out on everything they do. You're supposed to meet together. You go in front of this, these people and you rat each other out for all the different things you do. Michael Mouse has a great book about it. Is it called dear reader? Is that the name of his book earlier, Dear Leader or dear reader?

Speaker 5:          01:26:54       What do affiliates? Dear reader, he's a funny guy, Michael Malice, but I'm feeling North Korea. Do you ever hear something? You're like, I should know that. Like I should know it too. That's one of the things about this podcast is just being able to talk to it is dear reader, being able to talk to people on this podcast and you get like a little quick three hour course and what the fuck's going on in North Korea? So Michael was amazing for that. And you know, who else was Henry rollins was Henry rollins went over there as a fucking. A tourist wandered around over there. That guy is an animal. That guy goes everywhere and he just went over to uh, what was the, was there a purpose? Rollins just picks a spot on the map. You should listen to his podcast. He did with Ra should fear. That's the one that really got me.

Speaker 5:          01:27:41       I mean, I changed my. The way I look at Henry, I always, I always liked his music, always liked to spoken word stuff and Zach thing stuff and this is his attitude, just a no bullshit sort of a guy. He's got a little saying that he put on the back wall of one of the clubs that I worked, one of the theaters that I worked about, the people that work there, you know the, the, you know how you're, you're the lucky one, so you should, you should be very thankful that these people who work way harder than you make way less money than you. And I'm like, that's the guy that's like looking at it the right way. So he takes us, he takes the fucking spot pointed down on the map and he's like, okay, let's try Bahrain and he just fucking travels to Bahrain.

Speaker 5:          01:28:23       You know, he'll go to the middle of Africa and go to Cameroon. He just travels there. He doesn't know anybody there. He buys water when he gets there, brings his fucking camera and some clothes and a laptop and he takes pictures and then he writes it. It doesn't do any shows or, and he's a fucking animal dude. He's crazy. No, she hasn't just shows anymore. It doesn't do shows anymore. He does spoken word performances. He doesn't do any music anymore and says I'm done. I don't want to do it anymore. And just writes books and just writes a lot of articles, writes articles for like a bunch of different publications. But I mean he's super prolific and I really enjoy his writing. His writing is, it's, it's like, it's crisp, it's energetic. It's

Speaker 1:          01:29:02       like he writes like the way he talks and the way he behaves, like he appreciates your attention span, you know, he's enthusiastic about what he's talking about and he's got some shit to say. Bam. Well, it sounds like something I, I'm not a good reader, but I could get it on books, on tape because just hearing it directly yet because I get, I, I like when someone speaks to me very specifically get lost very easily made to. Um, what did I have to say about rollins? Said he went to North Korea to. He's an animal. A guy went everywhere, but how long will he go somewhere, like a couple of weeks. Whatever the fuck he wants. He's Henry rollins and he has money so he got to stay in a nice way to do whatever you want. There's no nice hotels. There's places where there is no nice hotels where there's no nice hold.

Speaker 1:          01:29:45       You're not living in the lap of luxury in Cameroon, know you take what they got and you know, you just hang with the people. It'd be like the locals, you know, meet some cool people, hang out with them. That's the reality. The guy was just um, you know, feeling as travel, oats and really got into it and now it's like a, uh, it's recreated. It's not just recreation, you know, it's, it's a recreation, but it's also like a life perspective altering burst that you give yourself, you know, you're going to Pakistan and wandering the streets of Karachi and Pakistan, like, what, how did I do this? Like, this is crazy. And then he's got to actually survive. He's got to get out of those places. Man, I don't know if I could have so much ad. I mean I know who he, after you go through something like that, your, your, your, your spirituality, your spirituality, your va and I, that part I admire, but then doing it, I just, yeah, I'm just, I don't want to be in like, you have to be uncomfortable and hot and.

Speaker 1:          01:30:50       Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You get what I mean, that'd be in trump's trouble. You for sure. I mean he's gone everywhere, but yeah, I'll just watch the documentary. There's something about both of those places tell. Right? Oh, of course he never came places I've gone. You have to go camping. When was the last time? Um, what else to maybe. No, no, no, no, no, no. About a year ago. A year ago. Where'd you guys go with two? Oh, I shot a pilot. Sounds so cold camping with todd. Oh really? And we went, we, we shot it up. It was me, Zach Galifianakis and John Doren. Eddie pepitone and oh, that sounds awesome. Close to letting it happen. It happened, you know, it's weird. We didn't end up. We shot the pilot even a bad pilot, but that's the premise. I really did think, and I don't ever think this, but once in awhile I do have it, just be honest with my thought, I'll be like, I think this is going to sell because it's just camping with todd. It's like you're on fire. People are comfortable. They talked to you have a musical performance. Who was playing the guitar? That was, that was John Door, but he was just being silly and um, as long as he's only being safe, I will not tolerate some real live singing by a fire. And then at the end we did.

Speaker 7:          01:32:00       We had someone come out with like a trumpet and guitar and they did a real. So Kuumba, Yasser public domain and um, and then we. And then we tried to sell it and no one was really interested. So it's okay, you know, what is that thing that people do where they like hire someone who play Acoustic Guitar and sing songs in a restaurant and they like walk over to a table. Have you ever seen that? Oh, like a Mariachi or not even a Mariachi. Just a guy with a guitar. I was at a restaurant the other day and this woman, she had an amazing voice. She was saying that Dolly Parton Song, Jolene and she just had a nowhere. Like I went to the bathroom, came back, this lady singing a song like I didn't even have this happen here. Magicians use to do that. Oh, that was the worst dude.

Speaker 7:          01:32:39       That's the worst. Wait, who did that? It would interrupt conversation. You'd be in the middle of a conversation. I'd like you to pick a card. Oh Man. Come on. I'm not interested. Thank you. But if you say thank you, you're the Dick. Like I just came here to work food. I don't want to do tricks. Like even though I love closeup magic, I really do. To me it's the only magic there is, but yeah, if you're in the middle of a conversation, yeah, I really do feel chicken meat. If that's the name of your place, it's magic and me and everybody knows you get a magician. The magician is going to come over and come to the table and do his stuff in front of you. That is totally cool. Not Against that, like knowing, but if you're in the middle of a conversation and the magician comes over and all of a sudden once you pick a card like, come on man, we have some shit we have to talk about.

Speaker 7:          01:33:28       Just because we're in a public place doesn't mean you can join in like we're supposed to be. We're paying, we're paying here, and then you can either be a magician or some people would say conversation stopper. Yes. You've got to go. What do you put on your card? Yeah. It's not even his fault. Is this the job? That's his job. What is he going to do? Like that's what they hired him for. Hey, you want to work for us? Sure, I need a job. Okay, you're going to be a magician. You're going to walk around the tables and do magic in front of people. Okay. It's not his fault. Right? That's why restaurants fault. That's why I always err on, even though I was interrupting the conversation, I just, I get it, so I'm pretty polite and I uh, and try to enjoy it and it's usually pretty short.

Speaker 7:          01:34:10       But yeah, I'm always wishing, yeah, we're just into this intense conversation. It depends on how high you are, right? If you're high, you let the guy talk, but if you had a cup of coffee, you're like, hey dude, I can't live. If you give them $500 you need. If you own or manage a restaurant, you need a closeup magician. It's all capitals. Listen to this. Only happened to me twice ever. And it wasn't the worst thing in the world. It's, I just feel like unless it's in the name of your restaurant, you probably shouldn't do that. It's not like something that happens a lot.

Speaker 7:          01:34:45       I like magicians. I love working with the comedy Magic Club. I used to back in the day before I used to book my own show there. When I would do a show, I would work with a magician always. So there's always like one comic, a magician, and then maybe one other comic. I think that's how they did it. They do it a bunch of different. Oh yeah. In the most of each. Yeah. That place. Amazing. That place is amazing that that place is also like a museum comedy inside. Well the, they have like Popeye's outfit, but Robin Williams more. It's framed on the wall and those signatures in that long. In the green room. It's a breezy. It is array of signatures on a wall from the last 35 years or 40 minutes. Yeah, it's crazy. It's a long term to be similar and he's such a nice guy too.

Speaker 7:          01:35:30       It's um, I think that's the second oldest comedy club in the world right now. I think the ice house was number one and comedy and magic. Just slightly younger in terms of club. And then where'd you, where'd you go after that? The comedy works in Denver. Pretty close for olders. The how old is economy works in Denver can only be like 23 years old or something. Well I thought it was a 30. Is it? You might be right. Yeah, you didn't. Roseanne start there. Maybe Roseanne started there in Detroit. Uh, the, uh, it's the, his name is in the title, but still we're in the eighties, right? I mean they used to be some places. The ice houses from the sixties. The icehouse started. Oh, no, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean older. I just met with next on the list. Where do you go to these places or not?

Speaker 7:          01:36:14       Yeah, but I mean there's like a, there's a few of the old, old, old places that are still around those, like historical places, like the comedy store is the most historical, but there's a lot of historical places helium's historical now because how long has helion been around for 13 years. Yeah, that's a spot where universally people talk about that place. I feel like Acme Acme in Minneapolis, laughing skull in Atlanta. That place is off the charts. Intimate. 90 people. Maybe if you've done it. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck a curtain. That goes amazing. That's a good example of a room. You're going down a hallway to a restaurant. Picture everybody. Everyone has to go to a club for the first time you go. It's in the back of a restaurant. You go down a hallway, then all of a sudden, even though it's a simple room, is there's a sound booth, there's lights, the curtain shuts, the lights go down, and when I think every second year in a club like that where they have production, you're like, oh, this is something you know, like the audience that might not know what to expect.

Speaker 7:          01:37:21       Now they know it's going to be good sometimes even before the show starts, just the way the police conducted itself and then the house lights go out. It's like a big deal. So I love that. That room is great. Spot. A lot of fun in that room. It's another one of those really intimate places. I don't even think that's 100 people. Right? 80 five 80 people. Is that what it is? Amazing. Yeah. Those spots, man. I counted. I have a clicker because I'm going to. Oh No, no, don't know. That happened. When someone did that, like onstage made everybody call out a number at a club somewhere. Hope because probably to see like if there was more than they said Jacqueline, he was working on some sort of a door deal and he thought there was more people in the room. Then the club owner told him so he had the audience individually count out a number.

Speaker 7:          01:38:06       What? Like we're gonna start from this table over here and when I moved to the left, your number one. Ready Sarah go number one, two, three. Hey, and people would just hook your word to three more number sitting there. That proves that people just. Some people want to yell out. That was fun for them. No one. How many people were going, oh right, we don't need to do this, but I think it was like a 350 seat room. Wow. Yeah, so you didn't have the material. Maybe it's totally, totally, totally possible, but whatever it is, that's how we found out. Went through the whole room and he got past the number that this guy said there were and then there was still more fucking people. I wonder if that's true. It's true. I think it's true. I think that it's the wait staff is what told me about it and I think they were very enthusiastic with their descriptions.

Speaker 7:          01:38:59       So you think he caught them like a club owner trying to hide how many could be the good clubs that have been around forever. Overwhelmingly, I've had almost perfect experiences like the clubs that they're all pretty decent so I forget sometimes what some of the sheisty are ones because you hear stories about people in the road like manipulating the money and stuff, but you do hear that that that can happen with some clubs. I think some club owners develop a very animalistic animosity. What? What is that word? Animosity. That's not even a word. It isn't. I know what you're going to say though. I'm writing. When it came out of my mouth, right as it was going out, I was like, is that a real word? You know, you can't exactly towards comedy, but they developed this animosity between each other. The club owners don't want to book you.

Speaker 7:          01:39:46       You get mad at the club owners. Then when you make it like, fuck that guy, I want more money. Tell him, fuck him, you know, and you, there's this weird thing that happens, like they knew you when you sucked and then you know, like as you're coming up, there's, you know, they don't want to pay him more and you're like, but I make more now my headliner and you get into this weird sort of thing with each other. You know, I think that, that, that poisons the well for a lot of comedian club owner relationships, but we need them so bad. Like you and I are not opening up a comedy club is not going to happen. Right? We need the Improv. We need these clubs. You need the ha ha in north Hollywood. We need them. Like they, like we all have to work together like should be. We all figure out a way to be nice to each other. Like we need each other. Yeah. We're not going to do that. Let's. I try and I, I not only did I try, I do it too. As much as I complain about when they do it wrong. I always spend twice as much time giving clubs, do it greatest shout outs and throw in love their way. There's a lot doall, right? So important that you know what, when I go to him, when I money was coming at

Speaker 1:          01:40:54       me, when I go to a brace, like spring starting to hit me. How dare you when I go to a place like Portland, uh, the helium and Portland, Philadelphia, but where there's a manager or they run the place. Look, I know they're stressed out, but they're good at hiding it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're professional always. And I thought I couldn't do that. I'd be frantic, but they're always like, hey, how you [inaudible]? And I think, you know, I try to, I try to go, wow that, you know, give a club like that, you know, I would not exist. I go, I don't even know how they do it. Like it's so good. I don't know if I could do that. And this guy's like, do you remember Tom Sawyer from San Francisco? I know, I know of him yet. He never worked for him. I don't think so.

Speaker 1:          01:41:36       Really? He never worked at the old cops know, a little comms I once. Did you work at big cobs? No, I had opened up for. I did some shows there like through a, you know, like a festival but never through the club. Yeah. Well I just want to beat on it too much. We're just so fucking lucky that we have places to do it. You know, it's just a weird relationship that comics and when it gets wet it gets followed up just because both parties, both parties have some work to do. It's really. If they were in therapy, you both got some things you can fix and as long as. Because it is true, it's like I'm not unaware of what you're saying because it's just comedians for every club owner that may be ripped somebody off, which of course they exist. There's also a comedian that thinks everybody's ripping them off and nobody is so, but it's just that when you're not getting booked, it's real easy to develop that sort of animosity between you and a club.

Speaker 1:          01:42:31       There's just, if you're not, you can't work and you think that other guys who are not as good as you and they're getting work and then you get frustrated and you're young and dumb already, you know you can have that sort of weird complicated relationship. It's just one of those weird things. Club owners and artists have always. There's always been disputes right? Way Back into the day where they do jumped off the fucking roof of the hotel next to the comedy store and that was. That was at a protest between the comedians protesting at the club. They walked out, there was a strike, there was an la comedy strike because no one was getting any money and these clubs were smashing it and we weren't getting any of the money. Like it's always been that. And that still goes on today, like the UCB. UCB doesn't pay people who don't have to.

Speaker 1:          01:43:16       If you're doing great, I mean it just. Some forces them, they could keep doing whatever the fuck they want to do through there. There's also the of good blood out there too. Sure. But yeah, there's a lot of good little communities to or guys put together a comedy night somewhere, you know, and some do a great job at that. I'm always in always in all that. When. So when you go to a comedy night and someone did it, you're like, oh, they took a one bar and made it a, you know, every little thing is right. Sure. People get, some people really know how to produce a show. Yeah, for sure. It's always fun to walk into that

Speaker 7:          01:43:52       and they just found a good spot to. There was a good spot that I've worked at only once and it was in it and see. No, it was really weird. It was. I'm telling you, I mean it was a five minute walk from my house. That's when I lived in. I lived off of white oak and I could just walk down there and go to this weird comedy club. I never worked there the entire time I lived there. I never worked there. When I did one set there and I was like, what is this place? This place is what club? I don't remember the name of it, but it was a bar in the front and you'd go past the bar, this back room, and it was like all people that I'd never seen do standup. I never seen him at the store and there were some of the laugh factory knew of some of the Improv.

Speaker 7:          01:44:34       It seemed like they had either just started or they were crazy. It was. Maybe it was the night that I was there, but I was like, this place is nuts. And how long ago was this? More than 20 years. Yeah, this was like 95 I think. Yeah, it was weird. So weird little comedy. Like there's this whole another world worlds out there, man. And if you go like into Orange County and in San Diego, San Diego's got its own fucking scene. Right, right. You know Santa Barbara, a Santa Barbara? Yes. All these different plates. Santa Barbara I don't think has that comedy club anymore. I heard that comment. See if Santa Barbara as a common thing once a month. They do about. It might've been like six months ago. San Francisco has a scene. They got to see in Seattle's got a scene, you know, there are some scenes out there, there's some comedy scenes. It's just like how many of them are really thriving. It takes a lot of club owners, man. That's the thing is what I'm saying to these people that don't get along so good with club owners if they're not doing it. We're not gonna comedy hideaway in Santa Barbara says closed right now. Ours is. It does it mean closed forever.

Speaker 7:          01:45:52       He'll do random shows like 1:00 PM in different. He still does. He still has shows. It's just always under comedy hideaway and that's where we found it. Oh, he's doing it. They're doing it. They're. Oh, okay. Oh No. Oh, I get it. So it's a hideaway. So it's like a Gig, like oh, he goes to different spots. Oh, okay. So sometimes you'll be in the same spot for the weekend. Sometimes it bounces around. Oh, okay. I know I'm his manager that I'm telling the kid he's got to be more specific with the social media marketing. I don't know man. It's like that. But what makes a scene is a club owner like Wendy, Wendy from the comedy works in Denver. She makes the scene, that's the club owner. She's the one who puts her finances at risk. She's the one who manages it. She runs two clubs and in those two clubs she ran. She runs currently. She created the Denver scene. Mitzi created the La scene at the store, mean Mitsis guidance her like her, what she tolerated, what she enforced and what she preferred and who she gave enthusiasm too. She, she like shaped, shaped so many comics. Man. You know. So there's a few of those club owners that are like super, super special, like really, really important people. They, they just, they create an environment where shit pops out of.

Speaker 4:          01:47:05       No, I say it's the closest thing, like presenting, knowing how to present something, especially when it's comedy. I'm an off whenever somebody, you know, whatever you think you would do that. I mean you've designed them. Do you ever think that you would think I'd want to own a club because I get a comedian's can be

Speaker 7:          01:47:22       hard to deal with. Some of them are just crazy, some of them you just, you just can't, you just can't, can't do it.

Speaker 4:          01:47:28       I get it or I bet. Well, you know, the other reason I was close once maybe, but because let's say there's somebody I like as a comedian, but maybe the tragic hotel, I don't need to know that and then be mad at them. Oh, what happened? How come you don't talk to blah, blah, blah anymore? Because I make my club in Philadelphia Real Nice. And then he went in and he know they toured the curtain down in the. I don't want to not like him for that. So let me not go to a club and deal with anybody I know on a business level. That's a good point. That's a very good. People do it and it's hard, but they'd empathize with what I'm saying more than anything. So it also says we're not delusional when we complain about clubs because it says, yeah, we get it. There's some, there's some when they, when they do it right, there's some comedians that shit on it. They ruin a condo that they're trying to make sure I get it, but overwhelmingly

Speaker 7:          01:48:13       it's probably no, it's trying to be fair. No, you're. You are trying to be fair. There's just certain amount of people that are nuts. They're going to fuck places up. You're gonna ruin things. They don't give a shit club or whatever they do in the relationship that the club has with some other business, you know, it's just, you know, comedians are crazy. Here's me on the phone. What he sheet low for what? Let's not even normal. That's not even normal as a good one. Yeah. I mean I know he's crazy and then somebody that I. well, you know, he said he wanted to pay for the steam cleaning. Well, I don't know. We'll get new carpet styria man when they spray diarrhea before. I love it. You know why? Because that to me, if you're saying the wrong thing. So it sounds like just, just shitting diarrhea all over, just the, but any, that's not even your fault with a lot of people.

Speaker 7:          01:49:10       A lot of people it's like they don't probably realize what they're doing. They're doing it. And they think they're right, but they're just looking at it from their own personal selfish perspective because they're excited about what they're saying and because they're engaged in a contest, it's not just that they're talking about stuff, they're engaged in a contest they're trying to win and that's where the diarrhea comes out there. Just throwing it at you and get in your face. It's like, oh, this is this a contest and they'll suck you in. Suck you into it. See, that's what I think one of the big things is wrong with people today and it's been wrong of me in the past. Get into these conflicts for no fucking reason. It's not worth. It is no fun in that. It's stupid. If you want to get in conflicts should be doing difficult shit with your life.

Speaker 7:          01:49:59       There's a lot of different difficult things to do. Don't like getting in arguments with people. Have you done it in the past ever for arguments? People were nothing. Yeah, for sure. Fuck. You's a in the car window, you know? No, fuck you. Fuck you. You feel like such a loser after you get out of there. Like what did I even say? Yeah, we've all done that. Somebody cuts you off or someone's on their phone, they almost slammed into you and you freak out and they. They give you the bird and you're like, fuck you. Yeah, for sure. And now almost zero, almost zero, almost zero. Most of the time I'm pretty cool. I just put, it's a matter of always thinking about it. It's a matter of always recognizing like these are just stupid impulses. Don't just follow any childish impulse like some 13 year old, he's good as first boner. Like use your fucking brain. Don't yell, just use your brain.

Speaker 4:          01:50:46       I always thought I just more than anything because it's usually not even involving me when I still witnessed this. The finger out the window. Fuck you. Who from a calm place? Who are you and you know what? I've seen it a civil person that probably is about to sit down at a restaurant and then probably a relatively nice guy, but that's this. If you're 40 years old or 20 or whatever age. The younger, the more understandable, but when you see, let's go with a 40 year old putting his finger out the fuck. I go, who are you? Where are you going? How can you be the most value to your children's lives? If that's the way you express yourself, don't tell me, Oh, I'll do that, but I know that's got a leak into everything you do. You're putting your hand out the window. 40 fault. Like what? Who are you?

Speaker 7:          01:51:34       How are you? You should treat everybody in the other car as if they're a giant friendly linebacker. Like don't ever say I'll fuck you up. Don't ever say I'll kick your ass. Treat them with like some. Have a little bit of fear of them. Don't want to be mad at you. Lay back. That's how you should treat everybody. If we all just did that, we'd all get along great. You know you don't look at some giant ass. I'd go, I'd go to this gym. These nfl players go there and it's Hilarious, man. I'm like, excuse me, pardon me, Woo. Dakota dudes. Elbows and shit. Trying to get to the weight stacks. They're enormous people. I mean some of these guys are like six foot four, 300 plus pounds. Just enormous, enormous fucking people just show a little. Have a little respect. If those guys were in cars all around you, you wouldn't be yelling, fuck you. Pull over, pull over, pull over. You wouldn't do that because these guys will smash you. They're not even the same thing as you.

Speaker 4:          01:52:32       That's the reason that it makes me laugh, that behaviors, because it's not always a maniac in real life, but they should see their behaviors maniac like because it is. It's like, do you know what it from what?

Speaker 7:          01:52:43       Do you know where it comes from?

Speaker 5:          01:52:46       Just not being able to express yourself. No, no. When you're in a car, you're worried your, your, your, your senses are ramped up. Like if you're, if 10 is like full awareness, you're like six or seven were normal. I feel like I one like you're already like kind of wrapped up because everything's moving fast around you and try and stay calm and someone's doing something to try to get your you fucking piece of shit. You're wrapped up already.

Speaker 4:          01:53:12       Yeah. That's why when you're late, when you're late for some of the. Even me and I'm a pretty civil civil person and I try to stop it, but if I'm super late and nervous, I will say to the person doing the most mundane thing, what the fuck are you doing?

Speaker 5:          01:53:28       Exactly. Exactly.

Speaker 4:          01:53:30       At least I never go. I will say this, go into traffic. Zero out the window, zero talking about this is in the kid, but even in the contents of your own car, you have to be. You should be proud of your behavior, but at least I know well enough when I'm doing that, that's got to be for me and I should work on that too.

Speaker 5:          01:53:47       I had a dude scream at me and take his shirt off to show me his tattoos and then. And then he called me a rich piece of shit. I was not rich at the time, but I did have a white suburban and I guess white suburban made you think? I mean I wasn't famous at the time. He didn't know who the fuck I was, but I don't remember what it was about, but I remember this dude took his shirt off to show me his tattoos and I started pointing out, I'm laughing. I'm like, ah. I go, did you take your shirt off to show me your tattoos too? So that I don't think you're a tough guy. His leg is did. I'm like, that is hilarious, and so I'm yelling this at him and he's getting more and more red in the face and I go, that's hilarious.

Speaker 5:          01:54:29       You took goes, I'll fucking kick your fucking ass. You fucking faggot. You rich piece of shit. I'm like, rich piece of shit. Wow. By and I just drove. At least I was thinking at least I'm driving this big ass truck. If like he slammed into me, he's gonna get fucked up. Huge. Nobody thinks to is ever ready for like to be called out because he knows why she was so stupid. He thought I'd be scared of him because he's got tattoos everywhere. Meanwhile, as soon as he took his shirt off, I was convinced I could fuck them up. I was like, this dude doesn't work out. There's no way he knows anything. There's no way. I mean, he was just like a guy, you know, it wasn't like a scary guy, but he had tattoos everywhere, like all over his neck and cit and they weren't even good.

Speaker 5:          01:55:13       I like tattoos. It was just such a stupid thing, but I mean, I bet if I knew that guy in real life and we were just together in a fucking office building and he worked in one office and I worked in and be like, what's up man? What's going on? Everything cool. We live in friendly shit. It's just this weird thing when you're on a highway and everybody's ramped up. Everybody's nervous. You don't even realize you're nervous. Even if you're calm and you're good, you're always ready to do this. You always ready. Somebody locked up. She's hit the brakes. Oh, look at that is the fucking thing in the world. Got Shit. You're always ready for that.

Speaker 7:          01:55:44       You're ready for that. That's why when I go to my house to Silver Lake, some people want to get on the highway and I go, I don't know. I don't want to get on the highway. First of all, it always ends up being about the same time, but even if it's five minutes longer on surface streets on a highway, I'm, I feel like I'm getting too out there in this highway world. I just want to go somewhere where I'm not on the highway. Do you know what I mean? On the side road I can handle it, but on the, on the highway I just get stressed out a little more. So I'm like, I'll say if it's 10 minutes longer, I don't care. Yeah, there's not a bad idea. It's not a bad idea. It's chilling. It's more relaxed. Chill. I'll teach. Stop. Slow down. Stop.

Speaker 7:          01:56:23       No one's driving that fast. Take Pico from center city to my house. I liked going over Laurel Canyon. You know when you go into Hollywood it's like, it's more chill. It's Kinda cool. Get that cool. Drive down that winding road down and winding road down is excellent, man. It reminds you you're in La. Yeah, and I always think of like these bad motherfuckers that live right there on the road like, well, who do you have to be to be so confident and people that you buy a house right there on Laurel Canyon around one of those corners where someone could easily miscalculate and slammed right into your car and slamming your house. You know those streets like Laurel in particular, it's like there's a lot of like jockeying for position on Laurel. I saw a guy the other day take a chance, move and dump into the left lane to oncoming traffic to pass a guy on laurel and I was like, whoa.

Speaker 7:          01:57:12       That is a. That is a like you're committing to being a cocksucker. Like you're going down. There's just no way. You know, if someone's coming, you don't have enough time. And if they're coming up the hill, like you're coming down the hill, the same kind of assholishness we've got a real problem here. Like you're going into the left lane that's put that right next to your house. What these people's, their houses are right there, man. Like you could reach out and smack their mailman in the ass to drive by. It's crazy. I always think that like on the highway when there's an apartment building, so close to the highway that you could forget something and go, hey, I'm pulling around in the overpass, come over to the window and throw me my shoes. Like an episode of the honeymooners or some shit. Right?

Speaker 7:          01:57:59       Yeah. They have a string. Maybe they run from the. I don't know, whenever I look at a science fiction movie about like the future, like a district nine district nine. Great fucking movie man. Um, but one of the things about these like Super Uber congested cities, you look at them and you go, okay, is that common? Is that like going to be everywhere and we going to be really living in this sort of weird dystopian future. New York City is in the perfect spot, right? Because it's not quite dystopian, but it's definitely exceptional. Like those views that you get. Like a buddy of mine, he had an apartment in Brooklyn on the water facing the city, which I think is even. I don't know if it's better than being in the city, but it's pretty fucking stunning and I just was in his living room going, Holy Shit, man, this is crazy. Like this view is crazy. It's beautiful. It's stunning. But it, if that keeps going right and then it becomes this monolithic huge favela like, you know, some crazy like completely stuffed with people and chickens and dogs running around and I mean like all these future dystopia movies, they're all. Everything is all. It's not like everything's amazing in the future. We have these huge super populated cities and everything's perfect now. It's all like way more crime. Way more craziness. Oh God.

Speaker 7:          01:59:23       Well it's just thinking. I think people are improving and you think people are improving? We both do. We think life's improved. You're kidding. No, no, no, but I'm saying there, there is a problem with the numbers, the actual raw numbers of us. Like if you go back just a few decades, the amount of people was like 5 billion less and it's not that long. I mean, I think you go back to the eighties. What? What is, what we've done this before, and I know I've, I always forget and I probably should remember it, but what was world population in 1985? That's when I got out of high school. Uh, want to say it was less than 3 billion. That's what I want to say. No, I'm wrong. 5 billion. Little less than $5. Million. Okay. I feel a little bit better anyway, during that time from 1985 to 2018, it's now. Is it 7 billion or has it hit eight? Because the world population was real close to eight. Seven. Fuck man. That's a lot of people gaining more than 2 billion people in just a few decades. So you keep doing that. You do that a few decades more. Does it accelerate? You must because there's 2 billion more people having people. So it's got to accelerate it. Alright.

Speaker 1:          02:00:41       Exponential. Every problem you list. I feel like I connected right back to old people. Like the population. We just live in a society that have kids, have kids. No one goes, hey, we'll learn about yourself. And when you really know what your patients are, then if you start, you'll see at a certain time you might be with. No, no one is just that type of. You have to have kids. Okay. That's older people, you know, that put that thought out there. The energy problem. If like kids were, if we were just letting kids lead, we'd have electric cars already. Like they already had that information back then and we just. The real problem with electric cars to the batteries. Well I mean even still true. What about just musk is pretty much at the top of the heap when it comes to figuring out electric car technology. I don't think there's anybody that's ever had it nailed down like him before. I mean there's a few different car companies that make really good electric cars. Fiskar makes a really good one, but it's on those batteries. Like this is like this is not something we could have had years ago. And

Speaker 5:          02:01:40       then what about solar power? Solar power is absolutely viable. And especially in California where it's raining, it's been raining out here for a few days and there is like, it's amazing. It's like we live in Seattle, you know, everything's all green and shit, but it's sunny most of the time and we could just be collecting energy for that. This, there's political issues with that. There's like, you know, you'd have to get the infrastructure ready. You'd have to, you could sell back to the grid. There's that. People do do that. There's a lot of like difficulty though. Apparently Brian Kaylin went through that when he got his house solar powered and he said, is it really a lot of red tape? And he goes and it seems like they're trying to discourage you from doing it and make it difficult for you to do it for you to switch over to electric.

Speaker 5:          02:02:19       They because he had his installed and hooked up for months before it got switched on with the grid. It was like real issue. And then even more so I think if you want to go off grid so you can use solar power and have no connection to the grid, that's a slippery slope. And in some places, I don't know if you can do that. I think some places might actually prevent you from doing that, which is really weird. They can prevent you. You will only use all. No one else has a dog should be basically that's what they're saying is what they're saying because that's not the tone. They say your power anymore. But thanks. No, you wouldn't be on all great. How do you think they would sell that? Like just pull up. Just guessing. Like how do they make that make sense? They would have to have some regulations like we don't know shit about your solar.

Speaker 5:          02:03:10       We don't, we don't know if it's dangerous. We don't know what you're up to. So I mean they could sell it in any way they want. If they're doing it in order to save their constituents money or in to do the bidding of whatever special interest group is lobbying for them to do it. I mean, that's why they do those things. They don't do those things because they make sense. You know, they don't do it through those things because they're logical. Hey, don't don't get that free power. Let me make it confusing to get that free power. Make it real hard for you. Turn on, I just got to stretch it out a few months. You've got to keep paying me for a few months. If they can just do that with a million customers, you have 3 million more months of billable hours. If they wanted to do it that way, if they just made it a policy to act slower.

Speaker 5:          02:03:55       I don't know how it works, man it, but I know how money works. I bet there's truth to what you're saying. There's so much money involved and they don't make power companies because they're altruistic. Beautiful. People want everybody to watch TV. They do because they want that cash baby. You know? That's why they're going to drill holes right next to the river. While the good stuff is flopped. A salmon, they just get to get in there. It's just start drilling. They don't give a fuck, man. People were just who just want money. Don't give a fuck. This is what's the problem with guys like trump? This is what the problem with the guys like. He brings in. There's so many that the number one thing is not making money. The number one thing is sustainability. That's the number one thing, living the earth. That's the

Speaker 7:          02:04:37       number one thing is can we live off this earth? Okay, good. Number two things. We've got to be safe. Okay, how can we be safe? Well, first of all, we need to be able to talk. So freedom of speech is hugely fucking important. When it comes to being safe. You need to be able to say things without fear of repercussion. You need to be able to communicate 100 percent honestly amongst each other so we could figure out how you really feel. Tell me how you really feel about this. Then I can understand you. I don't really understand you yet because you're hiding how you really feel about partial, about life, parts of life. That's where freedom of speech is, so God damn important. Just one aspect of it being important, being able to protest about stuff, all that shit. You have to pee. So. No, no, we just did that. So they just did that the other day and handed me a note to. How long have we gone? Oh, it was pat miletich. Uh, it's 1:30. What did we start at? Like 1115. So you do the math. I'm too stupid for that already.

Speaker 7:          02:05:36       That's why we're talking about. That's why you eat the food. That you shouldn't be the same reason that you got that. Fuck it gene. Fuck it. I have to midnight. Is Jazz hard? Oh, I do it sometimes. I came home the other day from the ice house Saturday night. I cooked a steak at one in the morning. I got the cast iron skillet out and I put some butter down and I had steak and Kimchi while I watch TV at 1:00 in the morning. Whatever the fuck. It was. Delicious. Amazing. It was amazing. I'm lucky that I. The reason I want to stop, it's not because I get sick. I really have an iron stomach if there's such as good, but it's just, I, you know, it still makes me feel a little bit like I don't get sick, but I feel a little heavy in the morning.

Speaker 7:          02:06:21       Dude, I took two whole days yesterday and the day before, or a bullshit yesterday I egg rolls. The day before I had a big bowl of pasta and I had a cupcake. I just decided, fuck it. It Sunday or Monday, whatever it was, Sunday and Monday let's just have some fun. So for two days I was eight. Whatever the fuck I want. I just decided I want to do that. I had the worst parts of my career. I mean, of my career of farting. These were, these were the bombs to end all bombs. My Body's just not designed to do that anymore. It just doesn't want to do that anymore because I've been eating so clean so regularly that just a couple of days of pasta and bullshit and egg rolls and my body was like, fuck you. I felt lethargic. I was like, I just want to sit down all the time. My workout sucked. It was hard to push myself. I was like, wow. Like this is not good. Like eating bullshit. Just this is what most people are doing. Most people are doing all day. They're eating candy bars and bullshit and not getting any nutrients. You mean candy bars? Well, here's what

Speaker 4:          02:07:36       I mean. I'll, I'll, uh, eight very bad. Why you should eat good.

Speaker 5:          02:07:42       Got It. Why don't you, uh, why don't you approach it like you're taking in the artwork of these people who cook food for you or learn how to cook yourself.

Speaker 4:          02:07:51       I cares. The problem. Oh, is that I had during the day I eat great. I juice every day like Kale, carrots, celery, ginger beets every single day. So you don't eat healthy? Well, no, that's just because my only thing I could do to say, okay, well I have the shitty diet. I can at least say to my body, I like to think of myself as my body going. Thank you for giving us some good stuff. We wish you wouldn't eat that other shit, but thanks for something that's everyday I'd use, but then it gets bad late at night. I mean if it's. But that's good though.

Speaker 5:          02:08:22       So you're not all bad. You have a lot of good habits. Like you're very aware that you need nutrients when you do do that stuff and juice. One of the things that they say we should probably look this up right now because I'm obviously not a nutrition expert, but I'm pretty sure they say that vitamins are absorbed better. Um, when you have them with some healthy fat. So I think they recommend coconut oil. Have you have some coconut oil with vegetables? When you drink vegetable juice, it actually can enhance the absorption of some of the vitamins. It's good to know. Yeah. So some people will mix it in or mix mct oil, medium chain triglyceride oil, fat soluble vitamins. You won't get enough vitamin D from drinking vegetable juice. It's found mainly in fatty cheese, fatty fish, cheese, mushrooms, egg yolks, beef liver and fortified foods. You need vitamin D, that's A. Yeah, that's. They're saying this. They're just saying that vitamin D is very difficult to get if you're a Vegan. Right.

Speaker 4:          02:09:17       I do eat food too, but I like some. The thing is at night I'm so hungry, so I'll go to the Vaughn's. I'll be like, well listen, I'm going to want candy no matter what. And I had dinner at like 5:30. This is like now nine, so I don't really need dinner and eat dinner. So I'd go, well I, I'm going to get dinner. I'm Roland Candi is second dinner, whatever you wanna call second street. So I go, I know this is bad, but the last few weeks I'll be there and I'll be like, you know what? I'm going to eat. I'm on candy. I'll just get candy. And then I'm proud of myself because I didn't like it. He didn't need food and candy. Get Food or candy and when I get Candy I get candy. It's not like I'm getting like a jumbo snickers bar.

Speaker 4:          02:09:56       What are you doing? I told someone that helps out at the podcast when they're at the vons to get me a candy bar. They brought me back a candy bar. It little. I'm like, are you shit? What? Oh, reese's cups. I said, I get some reese's cups. They brought back to reese's cups in a pack. Oh, little ones. Yeah. I go, when I say reese's cups, I mean a bag. The guy had this fantasy. Now the fantasy that I had a reading reads cups nonstop for five, 10 minutes because now have gone love, love reese's cups. Do you like to do the double a? The big ones that the. The, the, the big thick ones and I like to have them with ice cream. I've done that many times. All kinds of ice cream. Chocolate

Speaker 1:          02:10:34       ice cream. Fuck it. I'll have it with strawberry. I don't give a shit. You know? What would we say no to? I know what I would rather have you take a double reese's cup, put it in the microwave for literally 10 seconds and then get the vanilla ice cream and just smash it on top. It's absurd. Absurd to something about ice cream and some cakes, like a warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream. Woo. Holy Shit. Chocolate cake. With a with vanilla ice cream. Oh my goodness. I could warm chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream. Oh, apple pie though with cinnamon and vanilla ice cream. Holy Shit. Todd glass. Holy Shit. Holy Shit. That's good. The French French apple pie with vanilla ice cream because you get the apple pie is American motherfucker. I don't know where he get this French shit from. Here's how do they even have apples in France?

Speaker 1:          02:11:30       Speaking of Apple Pie. Mcdonald's should do this. Take your glass. Clear glass that you can see, right? Right. They picture the commercial. They'll shoot it, right? Then put the apple pie in their apple pint and glass and then fill it with vanilla ice cream and put some caramel sauce and go. You call it their apple pie. Allah mode and it put a spoon and you get the Apple Pie. The Vanilla ice cream. A little bit, little bit of sauce at the top to. You should this on the show. You should go to them with a proposal that todd glass. Apple Pie. It's a great idea mode and they have all this stuff there to need a spokesperson. The commercial, this is my idea, I was just do it that way. We get the public on the side. There's the apple pie in the ice cream, so some of the tops I was dig in.

Speaker 1:          02:12:14       It's apple pie, a la mode. It's a great idea. Especially if you could figure out how to nuke only the apple pie. Well, they could, so they have to put it together is already hot. It's in. They drop it in. They dropped the ice cream on top. The ice cream on top. That's genius. Takes a couple seconds to make. Right? You don't just grab it. You gotta to drop one in there. It's very easy to Bang Bang there. Yeah, right. That's a great idea. That's a really good. That's the best idea I've ever heard on this podcast. Thank you. Oh, they have it. This isn't Mcdonald's restaurant that made this exact dessert the way you're describing it in a glass exact same. The idea is that. No, but I'm saying it's that they have all the ingredients to do it. They have those glasses they have apple pie with.

Speaker 1:          02:12:58       They should just serve it because I bet it would be a big seller because it does. Apple pies are not bad either. Those Mcdonald's advertise when you want one. Those are not bad to know. What's that? Two for a dollar? Is that what they are? Yeah. Wow. That's pretty good. Here's my bed. I called junk. It's junk. It's food for this junk but not candy junk food, so I like to get the biggest Mcdonald's hamburger there is like whatever it is that I can get into menu. I look okay. Can I get that with nothing on it? Just a plain burger. No cheese, no nothing. Then I get an egg mcmuffin. You can either do two things. One, you could take all the ingredients off the egg mcmuffin and put it in the hamburger so you have a hamburger with an egg, a piece of ham knees and it's so good.

Speaker 1:          02:13:36       Or take the Hamburg or put it in, let the egg mcmuffin be the bread, but it's pretty good. That sounds pretty God damn good. That sounds like you're doing. You're doing God's work. Figuring out some stuff that they can't figure it out. They've figured out some impressive things. They figured out how to make a fucking juicy, delicious pancake. That's the top of a of a mcmuffin. Those mcgriddles that is my aunt, one of my all time favorite cheat foods. A goddammit griddle. They'll fucking delicious. You want to talk about like the good feeling in your mouth for a buck? Like how much? Like how much bang you get for your buck if you're hungry with the cheese and the AG. Holy Shit. Here's my point. How much I agree with, you know, we're not saying the ingredients or anything. If you took that mcgriddle yeah. I say this with a lot of foods.

Speaker 1:          02:14:23       I'm just using this as an example because you just said this, that actual item, but I say this with a lot of things. Put It on it. You take that mcgriddle, put it on a chopping block at a French restaurant in whatever, and then all you do is put that mcgriddle on the chopping block and then maybe put some syrup all over it, delivered to a table there. No one's going to go. It's good, but it's not like it's going to go. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. You know what I say that about Papa John's a cinnamon things they do. You know where they take the bread they put. It's not only they put butter on it, but then the vanilla glaze all over it. They put it in the oven. If you were anywhere they go hold about six in the morning. It that they put the fresh cinnamon tarts out, you know, and then you took a papa John's put it on.

Speaker 1:          02:15:05       No one would eat it and go though. It's good. It's sugary. It's doing the job there. They'd go. What? What if you had a mcgriddle with ice cream on it? Wow. Ice Cream in between. Like in between the layers. You put the mcgriddle down with the sausage. It'd be absurd to be fucking sausage. Oh, I didn't think of the sausage, so I just thought the bread and the Syrup and style, the whole sausage. Let's see. Let's see. You could definitely do it. I, I've always loved Hawaiian Pizza, the pineapple and ham together. Me To people. Some people, you know what I'll argue social issues into d for free because I think there's a good side of it, but some people I'm okay to let go and people go, I can't believe someone would like pineapple on pizza. Okay. Right. I'm not. I can't believe you like to pick sees. Jesus says, okay, you know what I really love. I'm a pineapple. Pineapple and anchovy. I know it sounds disgusting. It tastes amazing. It's one of my all time favorite pizzas. It might be my all time. Mine's pineapple and slice sausage. What are you watching this? This is a, a mcgriddle being rolled into rolled ice cream. Things that's popular right now. Oh, it's almost what you just described but not quite and it looks actually Kinda froze it and

Speaker 7:          02:16:30       then turned it into those things. Yeah. You're seeing those. The chopped it up and flattened it out. It's like barely food. So it's barely food. That's so weird. What is the top? So it's the not the inside of the mcgriddle. It's just the analysis starts over here again and they turned it into this thing. Donald's do it. Yeah. Well, that makes sense if it's the inside of the mcgriddle because it's all, I mean the outside rather because it's all just that doe he shit. Anyway, I was. They poured the batter on it and then show. Oh, it is everything. It's the meat to. Oh, that's crazy. How weird might be good, but I don't know. It might be good. Yeah. Look, it's probably an interesting way to eat. I mean, it's no different than what you're doing when you're masticating it.

Speaker 7:          02:17:14       It's what you're doing. You're making that out of it. It's just making that already. Just. Maybe you don't want to see it. I found out this past week that ground beef was invented by the Mongols ground meat and went to see the con exhibit at the Reagan Library. Fuck living back then. Dude. You think it'd be hard to start over as an open mic comic mentioned starting off in a Mongo camp. Wait, why was ground beef invented? They invented ground beef. Apparently Mongols invented the Mongol Empire. Is either indirectly responsible, directly responsible, or they invented like a shitload of things. Would that be. What year would it be? That was like the 12 hundreds that they, that they existed, that they first came to be. What were they before that? They just ate steak. No, but I mean, look, they all, whatever. I think they probably just, yeah, they just probably looked cooked meat and just ate the meat and then someone figured out where you can take tough cuts because they would eat whatever the fuck they could take.

Speaker 7:          02:18:10       Tough cut and grind it up. You can cook it and eat it. Easier to figure that out. You don't eat meat? I eat a lot of me. Oh, you do? Yeah. Why I you think I wouldn't eat meat? I don't know. You know, it may be for you. One of those guys. Well, no, no, no. I, I would say a free. I would just say I, I listened to all always open to listen to new things to sway my opinion, but I like the stance of I heard someone talking about at least free, free free range. Now I know the opposing view on that too. But, uh, I just thought, you know, if you're, if you're thinking I get it, that there is a food chain, this is what I heard this person speaking. I'm not saying it, but I made. It's made sense to me.

Speaker 7:          02:18:48       No, there is a food chain and we don't have to torture animals of course, but there is this, but you know, and tortured animals that then I would be like, if I was going to, I wish I could, if I was going to eat meat, I do eat meat, but I wish I did it that way. I'd be proud of myself if I committed. When I hear someone that does that, that will. I'm like, Oh, I have admiration for that. Would you ever consider killing an animal that you were going to eat? Would you ever consider like raising a cow killing it? I couldn't, but I don't. What about hunting? Do you think you could hunt? No. No? No. Could you? Oh, you do? Yeah. Yeah. But I don't. I'm not, I'm not. I just

Speaker 1:          02:19:28       couldn't hunt. I'm not proper. I don't want it. It's not something you're interested in. I beat you. Listen, there's nothing wrong with that. It's a, it's like I shot a guy in the face once at camp who shot a man in Reno. I shot. Remember when he's singing that song? He was in prison, which I've liked that he went back and perform there, that they can, they're not, they don't have to be lost. And then he, uh, and he goes, I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. And they'll go, well, let's not glorify. The guys said. They like, listen, I'm not trying to. I did doubt about it. Yeah, I'm bummed. I'm singing it. It's not good. Don't someone just do a standup special inside of prison? Jeff Ross. Jeff Ross was another comic to a black comic. You know the Alley Siddique John. Very worried.

Speaker 1:          02:20:21       Is that it? Yeah. How do you say? Is that how you say his name? Paul. Wow. I like the background you have behind you more than the background, but I got a, what's it called? I think it's bigger than these bars. Oh, nice. You gotta use the bathroom. Go ahead. Don't worry about it. You're not going to say anything right now. We could wrap this up too. I mean, we've already asked you about this. Why you go to the bathroom if that's okay. I'm just Mongol eating meat thing. I just pull up this article from the New York Times. It said that horse meat being tenderized under their saddle is a myth. I don't know if that. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5:          02:21:04       Tenderize under their saddle steak. Tar Tar was horse meat dish that originated from the horse eat Mongols, the central Asia who swept across the eastern Central Europe 800 years ago. The most common tales that the tartar that tater. How do you. What would you say that tater tot her ear horseman would put a slice of horsemeat beneath their saddle in the morning and retrieve it tenderized by the pounding. Teat Ra for dinner. They supposedly left their raw meat eating habit behind and according to one version of the story, it was carried by the German sailors to Homburg or the taste for ground beef began begat both hamburgers and steak tartare. That's interesting.

Speaker 1:          02:21:44       Is that where Neil hamburger is that where a hamburger came from. The guy that goes hamburger, I'm just to use the bathroom. What's cool is that. Okay, cool. I wanted to ask about that because that's interesting. I wonder if the Reagan Library has old information in their exhibit. It says it's been passed around as a like to say that if you're running a museum you should probably know that that's not true unless they. They figured out chopped meat and this is not the same thing. Maybe it's not. Maybe originally it was, but I would feel like if someone wanted to do that, that would be a way to tenderize meat now. I mean I went to the same restaurant I was describing that I worked at before was a Mongolian

Speaker 8:          02:22:26       barbecue grill where we'd cook with swords, literal metal swords on a flat top, but no, it was supposed to be representing the shields that the Mongols would cook on back in the 800, whatever, and they were just shredding meat. That's the only way you could do it. So they were shredding beef. I don't know if it's ground, but like definitely shredded. So it's always something

Speaker 7:          02:22:43       when we cooked in the field with Rinella for the first time, when we shot a deer, he pounded it flat like he took like a chunk of the backstrap and then put it in between. I forget what he put it in between, but pounded it flat before it cooked it, like to tenderize it and break it down a little bit.

Speaker 8:          02:23:02       I just watched a video of a guy pounding and aluminum foil role and making a knife out of it is fucking bad ass. Like a knife, like a Shiv or a shank. Watching it go watch the. I know you like to watch knife making things. It's just like it. It's 10 minute video of him literally taking the whole role.

Speaker 7:          02:23:17       Pull it up. I want to see that. That's crazy. Some dude made a knife out of an aluminum foil role. That's when you really want to fuck somebody up, but you're trapped in a restaurant. Hey, I have a question. Go ahead. We probably. Should we go for the close? Look at this. Look at this guy. He's gonna. Hammer down this aluminum foil until they could turn it.

Speaker 8:          02:23:40       Got It all I can to kitchen too. He just uses the. A regular old stove gas stove.

Speaker 7:          02:23:45       So did you just hammer it down and then fold it? Is that what he did? He leaves it here. I was just kind of skip ahead so you can just get a good idea for bad unless you were trying to use that to build your kids afford. Then you're a nice person. You bake a hammer. Oh, we turned it into metal that you could saw. This is crazy. Been a lot of time sharpening it down. This is crazy. Whoa. This is not. So he turned it into a real piece of aluminum. Oh yeah. That is fucking bananas. And he's sharpened. It is crazy. But I gave it a handle. Oh my God. And then put it in at the end and puts it in a package and shows like chopping stuff. But domain. You must be so weak though. I mean it's aluminum. Oh, he sells it. It probably might. Would you want to buy? Why would you want it? Just because I'm an asshole. I want to buy an aluminum foil knife. I need it.

Speaker 7:          02:24:42       Every time people come over to the house, you go, this knife is made out of aluminum foil. I have a video we want you to watch. He made a knife out of pasta just showing that makes it. Oh, that's great. About the story that Chris Ryan told about the guy who made a knife out of shit and it was frozen or frozen shit knife to kill one of his dogs because he was like a sled dog or. And he was starving to death. Wow. Yeah. Was that true or did he carve his way out of an ice hole with a shit shovel? It's one of those frozen shit shovel. You're the only guy that comes with notes. Do you know what? I only have. I wrote. Can I plug some things for sure. Definitely. Okay, so I'll get this real quick about your

Speaker 1:          02:25:23       special first. Where is that? Our special netflix. It's called an act happy. I wanted to call it sucked by pigeon Dick, but I was the only one that was raising my hand. I wish I was there. I would have backed you up. Was was a juggling act, right, and who the hell would it not forgotten. I know, right? Suck my page and deck. That's hilarious. Can I tell you something? The last time I went to two times and I know tell any stories like you know, oh, this person. No, no. This is two things I think and I think I would have learned my lesson because my book I wanted to call the. I wanted to call my book. All I ever wanted to do was meet a nice girl with a terminal disease and then then other stupid things I said to keep the closet door shut.

Speaker 1:          02:26:05       I would add that as a subtitle, even though I hated the word closet. That's how he tried to sell it to him because they closet and anything to do with any words, you know that of Clyde this and out and so I go, okay, if I can call it. All I ever wanted to do was meet a nice girl. It was the first title was with cancer. All I ever wanted to do was meet a nice girl with cancer and other. The other thing, other stupid things I said to keep the closet door shut because there's a story in there about me literally me and my friend, you know, so it does make sense and it's not mean. It's not insulting cancer. I think that's still should have been the title of the book. The problem is people are going to see it and go, oh, he's just a mean guy that wants girls to die. That's the boil down dumb version of fully look into it in that funny you didn't even consider that and consider that. Well, you're wishing. How about terminal disease? Now you're right. It brings up a guy, a dumb guy writing a book, Hey, suck my dick and the Diet.

Speaker 1:          02:27:05       You know what? That's how you know what? I'm stubborn in certain ways, but in other ways all you gotta do it cleanly explained something to me. Oh yeah, they're right. I don't want to call it that. I never thought about that to go for the wrong audience, to see it on a shelf somewhere and even I think we should all be able to change our opinions about things. I try hard to work on that. I do too. I think it's a big thing about being a person, be able to look at things and not think that you are those ideas. You're a person. You're not those ideas like you just. You don't. Just because you thought of it and you subscribe to it and you believed at one point in time it don't let it define you. It's just an idea and if it's wrong beyond just about it and say, this is why I thought it was real and people respect that because they'll know that when you're talking you're saying what's really on your mind.

Speaker 1:          02:27:52       Whether you're a writer, whether you're wrong, you might be incorrect, but if you are incorrect, you going to let them know you're incorrect and you know what? The way to look at that, I think, and I remind myself every time I talk about this stuff to say how many of the things are you doing because they're right where you just think time equals validity because there probably are some things that should you should have been doing for the last 40 years, but so let's not go issue by issue. Here's a wider scope for someone to put themselves under fair judgement. If you're 45 years old and you haven't had. I'm just throwing out numbers. I'm okay with up or down the number, but you'll get the gist of what I'm saying. If you're 45 years old and what? What are we talking about? I'm sorry I got high, but if you remind me I'll. I'll go right back. I'm not exactly sure where you're going with it. Ah, Shit. Marijuana is that God damn marijuana. I don't even fuck her. Nothing. Jimmy, what was he talking about? Oh No. Oh, we'll figure it out. Don't worry. I want to do so and then I have to plug these dates and I remember that we were talking about people being nicer to each other. Uh, we're talking about

Speaker 1:          02:29:01       being able to change your comedy special, being able to change your opinions on things and I think it's very important to be able to just change your opinion and that you are not your ideas because you believe something doesn't mean you should be locked into it because. Oh, I remembered. Okay. A good way to judge yourself is to go, if you're 45 years old and you haven't maybe in the last so many years changed your view on something. How about we start with that? We won't even take issue at hand it. Well, what does that say? There's no way that you shouldn't be changing. Simply should, right? So if it's not, it doesn't have to be everything, but we'd say in a 10 year period where there are two things that you were adamant about, maybe in two areas, not everything. Sometimes you're right, you're right. But if you can honestly, not just outwardly to be writing an argument, go, y'all changed my opinion, but go inward. No one's around, be honest with yourself and then you might be able to go in the dark of your own asking yourself, go, fuck, I guess I really have it. Yeah. And then be aware of it. And then there starts your change and we'll be back right after this. Joe Rogan's our guests to me.

Speaker 1:          02:30:07       Let me just for sure. Get these folks. Let me, let me just say to you, if you're in a place where todd glass is performing so on the best standup comics working in America today, very funny guy, and I do it right. I get the two piece. Even while you're being set, there's a two piece. It's all right. The minute you get in there. Okay. Jazz, Texas. I'm going to go to a jazz club. It's not even a comedy club. They reached out. So in a, in April 22nd and 23rd. Where does that? It's called. It's in San Antonio, Texas. Bam. I liked the shit gets crazy. You're real close to Mexico. Make a mad run across the border. You're right there. How far is it from San Antonio, Texas? I don't know. I think they could shoot each other a. So I say to Texas I met Mexico. Yeah, but I like Texas when I was sending him to. Not the first time you said it. Right. Okay. If you're that close to Mexico,

Speaker 1:          02:31:02       like what's the closest city we have is Laredo, Passover, Passover, Passover. The closest I've been in El Paso, I heard El Paso, like bullets of hit buildings like the buildings in El Paso. Bullets from like the drug war have hit. I was at Juarez. Is Juarez right next to El Paso. Juarez is a particularly dangerous place. We don't need to go there, but hey, don't go there. Go see todd glass. Top performing. Next fit. That's what I'm trying to do a fast. I always feel guilty about. Well what's your website? Let Todd Glass Co. Less comedy. You even know what it is, but he gets that. ProbabLy talk less comedy. Todd? No. Todd glass at todd glass? No, not Your email address. Your website address. Oh, I'm not thinking very clearly. no worries. Talk last.com or something. Talking to [inaudible] dot com.

Speaker 1:          02:31:57       Then I'll be at the blue room, the blue room and I hate reading the blue room in springfield, Missouri. And that's uh, the seventh through the 9th of June. Two more. That's right. Blue room. I liked the pictures. A royal comedy theater in a hopkins, Missouri. It's a hot. It's the royal comedy theater. This is, this place is. I love it. And then it's a in hopkins. Uh, am I saying that right? Missouri, Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota. He's going to punch me in the face. June 20, first through the 24th. and then you have to stir crazy comedy club in Arizona. Glendale, Arizona. Come on down boulevard in glendale. Stir crazy in Arizona and I need that just now. What I just did. Yeah, no lie. My heartbeat. Exhausting. Exhausting. Yeah. Because you're funny. You don't want to do that. So difficult. So hard. How do people do it? You were reading pretty good off the tv in a trance. Alright brother. Well that was very fun. that was great. That was so much fun. It's very fun. I'm todd glass.com. Go see him and netflix sPecial outright. Now suck my pigeon deck, right? Yes. Yes. Act happy. Act happy. Don't look for suck by pitching depth. Maybe in the maybe the next range given the cave by. Wow.