ChKKbwEf54I.txt

Speaker 1:          00:00:03       The Joe Rogan experience is sponsored by the flashlight, and if you go to Joe Rogan.net and click on the link and the right hand side, you can enter in the code name Rogan and get 15 percent off. Enjoy it. And now here we go. Buckle up. Pinches jody is a good experience

Speaker 1:          00:00:46       with a backup generator. Enhance. So Diaz returns. It's up vegas. Last time Joey Diaz is here. The fucking power went out, man. That's ridiculous. That was ridiculous because by the time the power came back on, he was so high and we hadn't talked for like 20 minutes and he was basically asleep. It was such an organic podcast because shit happened and we just kept going. We just fucking get it moved up. Yeah. We started an audio podcast while it was all going on. Red Band. What's happening? Are you doing what's going? What the fuck? Get out of the mic though. I am. I'm trying to just sort of general Keith Richards head to toe. Look at you look sharper than a motherfucker. Yeah, I, I, you know, I've been noticing I wear hats way too much and it's not like I'm wearing hats to cover a baldness or anything like that.

Speaker 1:          00:01:34       I just fucking hate fucking with my hair. I hate it. I hate it. I like being able to hide if I wanted to try and right now he's trying to make up for the fact that he's trying to look sexy and is of like looking, not look at this picture. Joe. This is the short answer is this is the shirt we're going to be offering on higher-primate.com. It is a Joey Diaz shirt by popular demand in the shirt. Says Joey Diaz says if you ain't high by two in the afternoon, go fuck yourself. I took attendance and that will be our number one selling shirt for sure. All those other monkey, Buddha marijuana, those are fine, but this is going to take it to the next level. You got to get the word out. This is a jump, Brian. I lost my in my ear where you were just doing sound in your ear.

Speaker 1:          00:02:29       Okay. Whatever you just did. You just adjusted something and just lowered something right there. That's it. That's it. Just turns it off like that. Like off and on. Oh, that something's not right then. Oh, it's weird. I've barely touched it. Oh, well. This is a big difference. We got. We got to fix that thing. Anyway. Whatever. Uh, so the Joey Diaz, if you ain't high by two in the afternoon, two in the afternoon and go fuck yourself. The t shirts done. The design is ready. It's going to be printed up as soon as we can get it to the, to the shop. Should be any minute now. So I'll let you guys know and Joe Diaz will be appearing where you have this weekend.

Speaker 2:          00:03:00       This week. I've nowhere nowhere you on Friday night. You were in the city. I'm at the bitter end in New York City on Tuesday at 9:00. What is the bitter end to bitter renders an old rock comedy club that Lenny Bruce, George, Carl and him prior and. Yeah, but the last guy to do it. What's the guy from the daily show? It's a small little rustic place. Yeah, it's a small little rustic place in the village and the guy's name is Peter Fogel guy that I met him during the UFC. I met them in Columbus. We were both. You guys went in without me and I had had to go in Columbus. They got a weird airport. You just can't wait online. You have to get a ticket and wait on fucking lines. So I waited an hour and Austin, they're like, you ain't got no ticket. Neither did he. So he has this look on his face.

Speaker 2:          00:03:41       He's furious. I got to get to the hotel. You guys leaving at 4:45 and for some reason I looked at him and I just seen this pain in his face and something. I never do this. Just maybe pull back and I go, hey doug, you need to but don't you? And he looked at me like I was Jesus. He goes, how'd you know? I left my weed on the fucking counter and I went and my ball sack and they just got it right there at the fucking taxi cab line. Him a. He just looked at. It looked at me like, are you fucking crazy? I was like a spirit that day. Who gives you a line? I bought a fucking weed at the airport. Right there. Online gives you weed out of their body. That's the most important part. That's the crazy thing, right? I would probably deny it.

Speaker 2:          00:04:23       I'd probably like. No, no, that's good. So I met him at the UFC after that. And every UFC, he's a devoted fan. He goes to all of them. He goes to the q and a's. So when we spoke, he asked me if I was coming. I told him I couldn't and he goes, why don't you to do a show a show it my club now the village, it's close to Chinatown. So I just killed two birds with one stone. You know what I'm saying? Wow. So you're going to do a show with who? Who's doing it with you? Solo. Solo show in between two bands. Holy Shit. Why not? I like that thing. Wow. I love that. I love that little stand. Hope really created a monster with meat. When he, when he started the, uh, they're not doing the comedy club revolution because I really liked that.

Speaker 2:          00:05:01       Every once in a while you got to step outside of the comedy club and just get down. They only seek to 60. The tickets are going to go. And everybody's standing. No, no, no, no. Everybody. They got little tables. Isn't old fucking rap club. Jimi Hendrix. Neil diamond, Bob Dylan. You know this is old school. Fucking geriatrics from the cafe was off. I mean this is a real little club. So you know what? I don't want to do nothing in Jersey for my friends and nothing like that. So I figured let me go into the city and if I call a comedy club, they're going to break my balls and Columbia, they're going to break my balls. I'm going to put me up at two in the fucking morning. Eight 15 when this will be their wife. Go through the aggravation one stop shopping. All we have to do is just pump it up on twitter.

Speaker 2:          00:05:43       We'll pack. That place will be packed. So how do people get tickets? I get tickets if there's no tickets. You got to go that night. Tickets go on sale that night. Old School, old school, old school. Push cash. They take. They take credit. He got a credit card machine. They got everything. Wow. So tickets go on sale when you get there. When you get there, you just got to get there. That sounds pretty good. Idea of $10. No drama. Come on down bro. It's a Tuesday night. You know what? I don't want a Friday and you don't dog any fucking mobile on a Friday night. Let me see you get down to the fucking Tuesday night old school style. Nine o'clock, 10:00 show. Get out of that. Go to Chinatown. That's what I wanted. And I'm on the rock chester the next day. So Suzanne and what are you doing in Rochester?

Speaker 2:          00:06:22       I'm doing a club called the comedy club at Rochester, New York in webster. It's a great little fluxes. That's Wednesday. That's Thursday. Friday, Saturday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Yeah. And how do they. The comedy club can do they think I'm some kind of name Bro. It's rock. Not announced out there, but there's nothing up there but out. You know what I liked in bodies? Frozen bodies. This is my third time. I mean, the first time it was January. That's brutal. I'll never do that shit. Oh, but then now I go at least towards late March, just because, uh, you know, what don't you like to, to name a comedy club. Would that be a cool thing? Yes. So what would you name your county czar tans or some shit. Like the fuck up you baby joe? Nothing. Nothing. My family looks great man. Thank you. Say it's amazing to know you a long time to see what's come of your life.

Speaker 2:          00:07:11       They're fucking beautiful. Thanks man. That's amazing to have your wife and the supremes as I call it. That's what you have a bit. You like the Anna Ross had the three sisters, the supremes. Mrs Rogan has the supreme. She got the three girls. It's all over for you. You like the manage. Have they done any dance numbers for you? Yeah, like a choreographed dance numbers. Great. Joe Rogan's. Greg got tears in my eyes. It's looking at you that were very, very nice. Especially you know, you, you, you didn't grow up in no fucking mansion when you were a kid. You had it, you know, look at your little family you've put together. He was very proud of you. Thanks man. You don't see this much in men and he's great with them, isn't he? He's fucking great with them. They love it. They like, that's big. Motherfucking daddy came.

Speaker 2:          00:07:50       Rogan show. Yeah. I like your hair today. Yeah, it's really nice hair. It's like you're going to come here and look. Yeah. Let's see. This is my first communion. I'm bringing them back. You know you're on your way to court. Not on those. Do you know what a fucking cop tried to shake me down today? What a fucking cop pulled me over and I asked, you know, I know they have the camera on the cars. I just asked him. Is there any reason why you pull me over? Because. No, no, no. We had, you're mistaken. Then we ran. You play in your. Okay. You're free to go. Then what the fuck you pulling me over for? I think it was pulling me over to see if I was smoking herb, smoker room in my car. So you fucked guy. Really? You don't think it might've been?

Speaker 2:          00:08:24       Just exactly what he was saying that they just get confused. I know how he did it. I, I parked in a different place by my house and he was on my corner and as I made a left I seen how he looked at me and I was doing the speed limit. I don't fuck around. I went down and by the time I got to to hunger, he had made a u turn and got right behind me. Like, you know when you're looking at your radio and you look up and there's a cat behind him, but he couldn't have been that. He just thought you were somebody else. Maybe saw your haircut, English attracted to you. He never had another guy with fuck is wrong with you, Brian.

Speaker 1:          00:08:56       Strong possibility Brian. He thinks so, but no. Maybe. I don't know, but I thought I was going to be awake. That's why I called you. That's why I said this mother fucker's know. Pulling me over. I tell you what makes you think he was trying to shake it down, like did they really do that anymore? You can see in your package. Just see what's going on. Maybe he sleep. I was smoking dope in the car, you know, and then when he knows he's got weird Joe, you would smoke in the car everywhere you would smoke in the car and fucking Texas. And I'm like dude this is not a smart move. And they would give me a hard time. Don't smoke in the car. Robin. Robin. I just want to go to jail. I don't know what else. This is like, this is not California.

Speaker 1:          00:09:41       I don't do it because of that. I just don't do it because what? Sometimes the daytime, I don't need to be that fucking store. They really gets stalled in the morning. That's good enough. If I take with me in the car, I'd be a mess. It's funny, not a smart move. It is funny how California makes you totally forget that. Like in Ohio I was paranoid about smoking weed, like a clean up the seeds for my car. I mean, I was like, now I fucking feel like it's everywhere. That's where their state's laws. I mean that's how it's supposed to be. It's not supposed to be that someone can stop you from doing it, but it is supposed to be someplace is. Can decide. It's okay. What happened in West Hollywood last night? Did you hear about this? I heard nothing. All these we'd stores got raided and some one of them caught fire res Res.

Speaker 1:          00:10:19       We'd store a is gone zen weed or something like that. Yeah, it, it's gone. It's, there's a sign that says it's closed forever or something like that. And since I heard that one of the places they set on fire, like, I don't know if it was the grow yard or whatever, but there was one place on fire, zed fucking you see best jolly rancher candies. Yeah. You will ever eat in your life. And I was eating them popular with Ralphie May, like they were candy. He'd want a bag of this fucking vape. And by the third one I'm at the Sushi place. I didn't even know where the fuck I was. Do you guys realize how alien this conversation is to most people listening all over the world? We had this conversation that 30 during the morning you will learn, called you and I said, you know, as a kid you expect jet packs and you expect people to Mazda Shit never did.

Speaker 1:          00:11:07       I thought if any of my youth that at eight in the morning, that would be at, uh, we store bagels and smoking dope next to the attorney and a construction way to come. Fucking cops up. Medical marijuana license here to do. I think so. I think they're allowed to. I don't think you can. I don't think you can piss clean cleans. Yeah. Immediately. Yeah. I mean to get worse. I mean I don't think they, they're allowed to test them. I shouldn't be talking about in my ass because I don't know what kind of testing they do once they're in office or once they're on the, on the, on the job. But to get to be a cop, I'm sure they must have to Piss test yet. I think at the beginning of something with a new psychological, all that shit. But man, look, there's too many fucking restrictions. If you're a guy who's just got

Speaker 3:          00:11:54       a fucking job, all right? If you're just a guy who works at ups and you know you've got a decent management job and you like it and you got to fucking piss new acup every couple of months, so you can't even enjoy yourself at your brother's wedding. Everyone's sitting around smoking a joint, listening to some good songs, and you've got to stand over there by the fan. Isn't worried. Yeah, you're worried that shit's gonna. Get your hair the fuck man. That's nonsense that if you get high, you're only hiring for like two hours at the most and then it goes away. Unless you're really high, unless you eat it. And even then with the fuck, by the time you get to work, most likely you'll be sober if you ate so much weed that you're still high the next day. Have you behind the car guys and something happens that you go that was close, like you missed an accident or somebody who was next to you and you just put the blinker on it.

Speaker 3:          00:12:43       When you realize I've done that so much and when I'm not high though, so I can't really judge if that was. If I would have done that regardless if I was hiring not, you know, like something where you're like looking down at your shoe or something like that. Like what's on my shoe? I've never been shy and I slipped. I said, wow, that fucking was close something. No, no. I'm, I'm very conscious of two things. I don't drive. If I'm high like that and I don't ever not pay attention to the road. Paying attention to the road is variable. I always paid. You'll never catch me texting. I don't text in my car. Get the fuck Outta here. And you know, I was in a car and once with a check, she was a publicist for one of the clubs and she was driving me to radio and she's fucking texting on the highway.

Speaker 3:          00:13:28       I'm like, you got that kind of control over your car. Really. You're gonna. You hit a rock and that steering wheel twist to the right and you got this, you got this. You're really paying attention to what you see in front of you. Are you crazy? We're going 80 miles an hour. I had to tell her stop. I said, please stop doing that. You know, if you're going to text, you know, let me drive. You know, don't do it. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. But for a lot of people, man, it's too God damn easy. It's too tempting. You know it's right there. My car has a little thing. BMW has a little knob that you can dial the phone from all this, so you got like your, you know, your, your ad just shows up on a screen. You could scroll through it so you never have to take your eyes off the road.

Speaker 3:          00:14:10       You can, you can just, you know, you're right there, man. Very Lord has a button. You just go dial Joe. Then we have that to BMW. Has. They all have that now? But my point is like, even that's tricky even that you got to watch what the fuck you're doing when you're cooking gas and okay, but at least you're looking ahead and you're getting the peripheral in there. At least you know, you're getting a decent vision. But man, fucking people texted their car, freaked me out. I see it all the time. You're, you're holding a giant metal machine, 70, 80 miles an hour around a bunch of other ones and you're not even fucking paying attention. You can't do think eventually, uh, us as a race is going to get to the point where is just common. Like you can do it super easy. Like you just get trained in, grown up and effective it.

Speaker 3:          00:14:57       There'll be another input. I mean, it's going to get to some sort of a neural input at that point. But, you know, that's, that's all coming. You know, we're, we're resisting all of that. But I mean, look, everything we've got today is fucking witchcraft. Three hundred years ago, witchcraft, total, witchcraft, and iphone is sorcery. Man, that Shit would fucking burn you at the stake if you showed up with an iphone. And now it's here. What, what comes next? We're going to have to get over this, this human machine interface. We're going to have to get over the idea of implants. People are going to have shit implanted into their body and you're going to be able to communicate with, with other machines. And uh, another, uh, other people who have chips implanted in their body, the human body will become a computer. My buddy of laughed because my buddy has a joke. They did a Texas. He did a what? Did either the club, the part of the Texas that was so backwards that the opening act was the magician that they thought he was a devil worshiper.

Speaker 3:          00:15:50       Magic. It was magic. One of the funniest bit. And he goes, Joey, it was a night from hell. Oh, because they were all like White Christians and this guy was in there. Vacant birds disappeared shit. And the devil, they will like get that devil out of the building. They pay them. That's the fucking lead. That's beautiful. That's hilarious. I thought it was the fucking devil. You know, man, this is a thing about religion. You can tell me you believe in God all day, but as soon as you started talking about the devil, Holy Shit. Did you throw yourself in a box? Because you can't be all spiritual. You know, even spiritual people like, well, I didn't believe in religion, but I'm very spiritual and I definitely believe in God, you know? But they don't go well, the devil's real. I'm pretty sure of that. Yeah, pretty sure.

Speaker 3:          00:16:37       The devil's real like, lives under ground. Joe. The devil. Come on the fuck on. Come on. Really? Come on. I can't fucking say you'll. You believe in the devil. That's where people draw the line. When you're saying you believe in the devil, you're just going deep, deep, deep. You're going fire brimstone. Fucking dragons. This resolved this morning out in the fucking morning. Oh, I get back and I'm just going through the channels. I put the news on it. It was like spiked from last night watching the UFC countdown without like, it's this, the fucking excesses at nine. Oh, five in the morning. Spike is lost at Goddamn mind was on spike, probably just people that don't have this in perspective because it's 2011 and you've had some amazing, you know, fucking Avatar type movies and movies just there on such another level now than they were back then. But when the extra ces came out, dude, that was the scariest movie of all time. When that little girl spun her head around and starts stabbing herself with a crucifix going, your mother's sucks. Cox In hell and she's, it's meat stabbing into the meat of or pussy with a. It was

Speaker 2:          00:17:50       about will taste them. I watched the movie this morning for 20 minutes while I was making breakfast and I sat there and it got me to turn it off and get the fuck out wrong. They find that little devil in Africa and that's why I feel that Africans always fuck that devil. They found them that Africans never looked back. There's always something going on in Africa. Always something dog. Somebody is getting killed. There's a war. Oh Egypt, this. Think about it. Look at Africa. Every week they got something, except this week my prayers go out to fucking Japanese people. It's crazy. Every day that gets crazier and crazier with it, but you know, this exorcise was brilliant. What's the fucking movie with no interruption? No, it's a brilliant move on that movie. Like a lot of problems, like a lot of weird things that the studio burnt down. It was just fucking crazy.

Speaker 2:          00:18:41       You know that really. I think the guy named my cat after there's a cat in there when she's the rocking chair and she keeps telling the priest that priest to be a boxer. That's Jackie gleason's motherfucking son in law. Really? That's, that's a shit. Whatever his father, real life. He's enacted. The kids are active, but that guy never dimitria remember like his name is Demetrius and she used to call them dd my, you do this to me. And that was the boxer. That was the boxer briefs. Cigarettes and act yet he just beats the fuck out of the devil. He got up and live the blessed taking on the bottom position and then she just throws them up and let me get it up and he just goes out the fucking window. It's a brilliant movie. They can't do that. She'll never get. They don't have that kind of writing.

Speaker 2:          00:19:23       They don't have that. Well, it hadn't been done yet, so when it was done, it was. They went so far with it to you. He didn't want me. There wasn't some arguments about whether or not they should have her stab herself in the pussy with a cross. There must've been some studio conversation back then. Thought she's screaming, your mother's sucks. Cox In hell, and she's stabbing herself in the position. Yeah. That has had a crazy hats, but here's the point. I was wanting. Terrifying man was brilliant when she's one of the devil first coming into the house, there's a fight one night and her house, she's having her because she's an actress to mother and she's having like a party and the guys, Germany, the waiter and the guy keeps saying something to him, you fucking Nazi and two days later they find the guy in the bottom of the stairway with his neck twisted and they couldn't figure out. I mean, it's a deep. It's a lot deeper memory. When she goes up to the astronauts, she goes, you're gonna die up there. Yes. That was like the first creepy little girl. Like in movies. There's nothing. I mean the Stephen King, the twins and shining. Those are creepy little girls. Those are kind of interesting. You know the one. What does that? The Japanese one. What does that one?

Speaker 4:          00:20:32       Oh the fuck. Is that the a TV girl? Yeah, that the fucking TV. What? The TV that crowds out the TV and an goddammit. There's an American version of it to write whatever it is.

Speaker 3:          00:20:48       That spooky little scary Japanese girl. I would have sex and the movies. Would you? Yeah, you would. You fucking idiot. She was like, well, these little twins, the twins that did full House and Oh my God. Yeah. They were on TV. They never got to have a childhood bitch that Blair was putting across and how Pussy at the age of 12 the somebody went to Linda Blair said, Linda, hi, can you sit out for a second one, your mother in the room in this film, we want you to take a fucking cross of putting in your little Twat and say, this sucks Cox and how can you say that? Repeat that to me. This movie fucked her up so much. She ended up hanging out with Rick James Twenty years later wishing that she was. She never recovered from that film. That was one of the. How could she.

Speaker 3:          00:21:32       How could you do a movie when you're 12 where you're. You're stabbing yourself in the pussy with a cross. How could you do that and then walks back and be normal in the house and she's screaming it. Mother's sex and that crazy voice. That was the first original. Really scary movie because there have been monster movies before like Dracula and shit, but there was nothing that seemed to real show scary when I was at great one. I never, I never saw accesses as a kid. I saw it as an adult, but creep show was fucking used to freak me out. I used to have old hbo all the time. Commercial hub of rate creep show is great. Elm Street, the first one fucked my world up a little bit. Yeah, that was a total on xylophone. Brilliant, Bro. That's fucking brilliant. I don't give a fuck what I believe says when he goes to pick that up in that little tongue starts moving.

Speaker 3:          00:22:19       Yeah. We were talking about this the other day, but the silence of the lambs still fucking hometown. There's movies that still night they're going to do a whole thing on and I've seen it before about the making of that. Yeah. How much went into that? How about this character movie is a work of art. He's a bad motherfucker. She's bad. She's so bad ass. Even when she's nervous, like she's talking to him like, you know, Mr Lichter, you know, like the, like her nervousness. It's like so fucking real. Like she must've made herself nervous for that. Like the way she's doing it. It's like these little weird twitches in your lip that you can't even fake. You know what I mean? Like you, you would literally have to be nervous to be having these little twitches and quivers in your mouth as she's communicating. She's having a hard time getting it out.

Speaker 3:          00:23:00       She's brilliant dude. And he hammered vertigo. Jesus fucking Christ. Anthony Hopkins. Come on, man. You're just a fucking. There's so much about that movie that was so bad ass. The way he got out of the jail, the way trick them and got out of the jail and it's like this suspension of disbelief. You don't need much of it. When he's spiderman, he throws commenter. Remember Meigs Meigs made. That was my nickname from one one friend, my friend Jon Jon Tobin, he used to call me migs because of that. Why is fucking crazy? He made Miguel killed himself. Yeah. Yeah. I'll talk to him. Tell him to kill himself. Yeah, nobody's done that. Since Robert Duvall in Godfather to talk, the Freddy is angles into, to kill himself with a TUB member. He goes to visit them in jail and he goes at the end of the party, that robe is, we'll get together and eat fruit and then they'd slice their fucking risks and the next day they played cards.

Speaker 3:          00:23:51       And uh, what's his name? He cut himself with the TUB. What's it? That's a fight. Holy Shit. I forgot about that. Godfather two is one of the few movies where it was just as good as godfather one or good enough for me at least. There's very few that are like that. What a great fucking film like Alien One and alien to the is debatable because like alien too is kind of fun because there was a lot of God damn aliens and there was a big giant fucking alien. It's still pretty bad ass, but alien one was creepier. It was a different thing. It was scale. You couldn't see it. He didn't know where it was by the time you saw that. Got You. Yeah, and it was impossible to kill for is alien to. It's like you're killing them left and right. Like, okay, now this is a totally different thing.

Speaker 3:          00:24:31       Still ask because these things are stupid now. They were super smart and clever and they would get you in. Hi Don people. Now there's like they're killing 10 of them before one person gets killed. Like that's silly. So if you look at that, but it's still a bad ass fucking movie. So it's like not, I don't think it's as good as alien one, but Goddamn it's still one of the best all time science fiction movies, you know, alien to it. It just, the alien one was so fucking bad ass when that shit came out. Dude, I remember I went to see that and the first thing I said when I got out of the theater, I said, Fuck Star Wars, Star Wars. Like that's like written. I'm a huge star wars fan. I saw star wars like 13 times and I was a little kid, but when I saw alien and I and I was like, this dance, what?

Speaker 3:          00:25:13       Aliens are going to be like, man, it's not going to be like some fucking furry dude with a bandolier on it. A gun, the girl that's not going to be aliens, man. Aliens is going to be some weird parasites that lock onto people and grow inside our bodies and explode out of our chests. Weaver was a bad motherfucker, wasn't she? She's bad. She's bad ass. That is when she was young too. You know, she was fierce. She didn't give a fuck. There's a few, you know, there's a few people that make acting worthwhile and they don't seem to need that much attention. They, they seem to be pretty fucking like that guy who's got my left foot, Daniel Day Lewis, that guy, that guy's a brilliant actor and he picked you barely even fucking hear a peep about that guy. He's never going to like events and making a big deal about things and holding press conferences and fucking, you know, sitting in talk shows and you know, crossing his legs, talking about his fucking vacation, you know.

Speaker 3:          00:26:04       No, no, no. That guy's hiding in Ireland. Learning how to box. You know what I mean? He's fucking eaten girl and living in a prison because he's got to be in a prison movie was no light to that. I really respect. I really respect that part of the ass. He's the baddest motherfucker of all time. Daniel Day Lewis. Between him and Gary Oldman. It's like it's a toss up, you know Gary Oldman even in this stupid red riding hood move in with us. He red riding. I just was that good by the way. I don't think he ever said it's okay. It was decent. You know what it was? It was like, it was, it was. It was entertaining, but it was part of it will you say, wow, this could have been really good. It could have been really good, but it got a little twilight id at the end.

Speaker 3:          00:26:41       It got a lot twilight e at the end, but there's parts of it that. But Gary Oldman's a bad motherfucker. Even in a silly movie, he still comes across like the creepiest motherfucker. You makes you uncomfortable when you see him, you know, like a shit. He's here like you feel it when he's in the room. I came. No fucking cardboard cutout of a villain. He's thinking like a fucking villain. He's, he's. His eyes are lit up like a killer. Like for real. He's not, you know, there's some dudes that don't, don't know how to do that or they can't do that. I don't know what it is. I, I can't do it. I don't know what it is they did. They do it. I don't, I've never been a successful actor, but whatever the fuck it is that those guys have those like, what's his name?

Speaker 3:          00:27:18       Russell Crowe. He's got it too. They can just become somebody. They can just really become someone different than who they are. There's only a few dudes who can do that, but those guys were valuable. You know those guys. That's a, that's a crazy trick man. When you know when you, you don't. You know what this guy really fucking talks like and it's not weird new out, but all of a sudden he's got this strange accent. Like, you know what Russell Crowe really talks like, but all of a sudden he's playing some guy from Brooklyn and you buy it. How are you buying into this? Why? Why come on? I know what his real voice sounds like, but yet I'm still roped in. He does that good. You know who's worth $12 million of funding twice. You know who's the worst at doing that though? Michael stairs. My flyers. I mean every single movie is the same fucking character. Exactly. Well, it's different when you're trying to be funny. You know? He's just trying to fucking act is listening. That's a motherfucking actors that could act as fuck. And when they. They're around around

Speaker 2:          00:28:07       you though that xcel. Marlon Brando, that chick from the Postman always rings twice. That Jessica Lange bitches were treacherous. Willie's fucking little bitches that I couldn't deal with these, this tray hanging out at the fucking on Hollywood. You'd take half. These motherfuckers could run with Marlon Brando when he was swinging Dick in his day. Are you fucking kidding me? They went down a pot. What's that movie? Get on the island when he met with him before he bought the island of Dr Moreau. No, the one before that with a treasure with warner brothers said, yeah, go down and have a blast. They went down, wasn't even directly. He was banging fucking chicks at a time. He had some water boy fucking film at the fucking movie. He had footage in bolts go in birds. They're like, what the fuck you been doing on the months? That wasn't even going to give the godfather because when they were like, we don't even want to hear that fucking name.

Speaker 2:          00:28:58       That guy flew eight months of all we went down and his wildlife or drawing pictures were sending checks out here. He pulled the fucking island. Really? You don't know about? Well, I knew he lived on an island and then for superman that trying to call them up, come back. He's English and I read the scripts. I me 100 grand. You had to pay him to read the script. When he grabbed you want them to show up? That's 100 grand for a. But I come off the island dog, so 20 grand to 100 grand to. Why did they hate dive? He hit the them wall for 30 fucking years and they couldn't do nothing, bro. The guy showed up at the Oscars, didn't even show up. We sent an Indian and go online and look it up. She's up. Fucking shoot this guy last week. Oh, well what's this little fact name? Anne hathaway and the guy all. They wouldn't be your pitch back to know what happened. What happened? What happened there? People complaining online that he wasn't funny. Bitch you James Franco. Marlon Brando set the fucking Indians with a feather that to pick up his Oscar. They went Buddha. That's real Hollywood. Steve Brown, Steve McQueen. Those. We've had this conversation.

Speaker 3:          00:30:06       Well that was their only outlet to express themselves back then. They didn't have twitter or the internet or anything like that. You couldn't like stage a protest fresh yourself if you wanted to do something, you wanted to protest something. Yeah. You had to do it in during an award show. Like on television. It's good for people to see. I, I'd never thought about that completely. Not only that, people wouldn't really see it. How do you receive. There was no reason you had to make, like if you wanted to make a stand, making public stance was very important back then. There's the only way you had a voice. They'll put more in the movement of those black guys at the Olympics. They held their fists up and the black gloves on the black power fist, you know, because they're tired of being fucking treated like their shit their whole life.

Speaker 3:          00:30:48       And finally they get to do something. They will, they win the Olympics and then like, look bitch, you know, stop all this nonsense, all this racial hatred. And everybody looked at it like as if they're their racist, you know what they're doing. Oh, they're black separatists, whether they're dangerous. So that's a reaction. It's a reaction to the society that they lived in and where else are they going to make that protest? That's the praise. That's exactly the right place to do it. They did it subtle enough for me. They, they hold their fucking fist up in the air. That's subtle enough for me. That's how the fuck else use. I'm talking about that message that they sent. Sixty. You know what it was 1960 something. What did he say?

Speaker 2:          00:31:19       What does public enemy? We got a solid. Raise your fist to the music. United we stand yet you're violet. We fought together. We cast that tall brothers. Got To work it out. Celltech sometimes realize it's super bad. What's up? Be bitches. Look at him. I'm watching your Brian. Just fung. Correct?

Speaker 5:          00:31:40       He's a very loyal, very boy. Swinging slinging. He's breaking everybody's records. Let's get that pop star or whatever. He's looking over it. Whatever. So over. I'm going to do a food truck. What the fuck? Brian? What fucking do you guys ever gone to? What's up with these food trucks? I don't know if it's like this everywhere, but in la the food trucks have attacked La. Like now food trucks are so popular. They have twitters where you like go on twitter and find out where the truck is and they called melrose. The other date, the whole street was this food trucks lined up. Thousands of people everywhere. This is a new recent trend, right brandon?

Speaker 2:          00:32:20       No, it's perfect for la because the mobiles are out there with, at twitter and you know, where is he? Oh my God. We can't live without the food. The food's okay. Grilled cheese. When have you been chief? And there's another one that's Papa's top. Top. Top is God. Damn. And they don't pay rent. There's no overheads. The food's very cheap. You know, it's not

Speaker 3:          00:32:40       bad. Pretty bad ass. Say happened in front of skinny. So there's that to have an open mic at skinny's. You'd go in there and do comedy and other way. I got these fucking trucks everywhere. So. Wow. I see those Mexican ones, I don't take the chance. No, they're like, there are those upgraded, you know, like nowadays they're like, it's like a restaurant. I think about taking a chance though sometimes like there's a video in the valley who I'm going to take you there if you want to go get some real Mexican food talk you. Yeah. They're always deads legit. It's um, I think it's in woodland hills. It's on. I'm like van owner, something like that. That plays in the jet dude there. Their pork tacos. Carnitas. Oh, last night though. They have the dirty bowl of pickled Jalapenos and carrots just sitting out there. Anybody could just stick their fucking hands in there.

Speaker 3:          00:33:30       No one cares. Big little play to Jalapenos and and radishes and shit like that and those Jalapenos will fuck your world up. These are the Jalapenos they grew. You know what I'm saying? Like they grew these shits in their backyard. They got these new Jalapenos that'll make your ass bird like just when you're shit, they stay there all day. It's subtle fucking Berg to remind you all day you're in the bathroom. Triple wiping because you think you didn't wipe right. You think you have like the second remorse coming out of your muffler, but these new Jalapenos where they burn your ass all fucking day. New Jalapenos. I had this last week or two. My ass was on fire all fucking day. I'm done with that stuff. What? You don't eat Mexican food. How is that shit just fucked me up dude. I make a cornea, Sada burritos with fresh Jalapenos and I chop them up in there when I chop up like a whole pepper and a half and then in one burrito and it just fucking cleans the whole system out.

Speaker 3:          00:34:22       Sun snots from. Oh God. Tears are coming down your eyes. Your tongue is on fire for God. Damn. Your body's like gets like a jolt. It feels like you're. You're fucking dusted off all the bullshit. Yeah. You don't. You don't get into it and shitting out half a quarter likes, mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes and meatloaf. No gravy, please. Thank you. Do you have milk? Mashed potatoes? Have whole milk that a white bread. I had a piece of Mesh meatloaf and last night on white bread. Wonder bread. Shit on that motherfucking stopped. Has another strong place to eat. There's a place called chicks out here in the valley. And uh, I think that's an calabasas maybe somewhere around that. Anyway, this fucking place has made their own rotisserie. They throw wood in it. It's a wood burning rotisserie. Family owned. They've owned this place fucking forever. You have to pay cash. Yeah, he'd been there before. You have to pay cash. They don't have credit card machines. Fuck you. Cash. And they got this fucking brisket sandwich dude. It's a barbecued brisket with, with mashed potatoes in the sandwich. Those. There's a layer of mashed potatoes and a layer of this mouth watering brisket and it's all in together. And you, you know, it's a giant ass dude. I'll take you there after

Speaker 2:          00:35:38       this. You're going to shit your pants. I'm, I, I ate it. I added two days ago and I've had irregular shits ever since then. I am so backed up. That's all from this thing. It's giant. It weighs 13 pounds. It's the biggest sandwich you've ever eaten. I shit green like fluorescent green today. And the only thing I can think of mushrooms, the mushrooms now bro. That's tripped your whole gates bro. It was weird when I talk about that. The I, I dreamed your whole for my first time in like seven or eight years. I shouldn't, uh, two days ago. Beautiful. Can you get some? I could get the fuck. Are we not on the Internet? Yukon. Jesus Christ. You guys are going to get rated. No, we're not going to get any fucking shit. You fucking guys are a little too casual about this weekend. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:          00:36:25       I'm excited about New York. Started to do a opie and anthony. I'm so excited to do the Wayans. Can't wait to do shows like Gotham. Excited about everything, man. You Dot. I'm sorry I missed you. It was just that I didn't want to ask you that really beloved gave me the rock chest the week when I was there last year and all of a sudden I see the UFC is back to this year, so I didn't want to leave for 10 days in a row. And Ashley. Yeah, no, I understand. No, no worries man. No worries. I said fuck it because a, I wanted to go back, but I didn't want to go back there because it's going to be busy the next couple of weeks and it's weird because I was telling you that I'm going to visit a buddy of mine that wanted to tell you the story just so you didn't know it at 83, you know, I was a fucked up kid and I was at a bar one night and this kid came in and I knew his whole family.

Speaker 2:          00:37:07       I knew his younger brothers and this kid had gone to the Air Force Academy where you had one you got onto the train or something once? No, I went to the Olympic training center and his other brother went to Brown and we used to go visit his brother and his brother used to be there with Kennedy was on campus. They were in the same fucking thing. So we would go up there and watch jackie o come to the campus and people would throw shit at her and call her jackie o Yukon. It was fucking crazy. But just to get back to the story, uh, I wanted to get out of jersey, you know, I wasn't doing the right thing, you know, and uh, he came to me, he's like, I got a place in Colorado if you want to come. He goes, we'll buy a car and drive out.

Speaker 2:          00:37:41       And I was like, I'll give you the money for the car. But I wanted to rob this dude. Right. I wanted to rob this drug dealer that I used to hide three kilos. They used to deliver three kilos a month to his, to his building and he would hide it in his parking garage. So if somebody slipped one night of the party and said that his buddy got three kilos delivered and he didn't want to put the coke in his house. So I was, my plan was to rob the kilos now at the time I used to deal with a loan shark all the time. And he was my, you know, he wasn't my friend, but I knew him for years and I was trying to set him up to. I would make him payments. Every resource that was going to do is rob the drug deal is give him the five grand I owe to wait 10 days and then hit him for 50 and then take off the Colorado.

Speaker 2:          00:38:20       If I was gonna do right. Wait a minute, wait a minute. When I got lost dog, I used to be the real deal. I've been trying to tell you this for years. So you were going to pay him back and then Robin, I was going to pay him back. I used to borrow from this guy constantly. Okay. Years. He owned a bar. He was a mob guy. We used to borrow from constantly, constantly like you. You fucking borrow $500 to 7:50. So that was 10 weeks of $75 a week. So people would come to me and said, Bro, I'm in a bind with George. I'm in a bind. Can you get me money from George? And I would borrow it and I get a point every week. So I was lending out money. So altogether my bill was six grand with him, but it was people that were paying the guy.

Speaker 2:          00:38:54       Do you understand, and I have a weird thing like lending money. Oh, it's amazing. It's an east coast thing. This is huge. It's not an east coast thing. If everybody loans loan this loan sharks in facts alone. Sharks, banks, and that's. Yeah, no, you're right. Some people have a card business and they really. They're in a bind. They legit people, but they want to buy 10 cars. They don't have the cash on him, but you know what? God Damn. Could you imagine? There's no banks. How much it would suck if you had to carry all your money around, you know, it's sort of you had gold, one of your work like fucking second there. I come with a horse and stab me in the fucking what the fuck? That's when people used to like hold up money and dig holes in the dirt and burry shit it.

Speaker 2:          00:39:38       That's why they did because they couldn't carry it on. It's stupid. I know how much money is buried still. Whatever banks cost their worth and even when they rip everybody off, God, it would suck if there's no banks. He has no banks. What? Where's the money? Monday doesn't even read the problem. Money is. It doesn't really mean anything anymore. It's not like this hundred dollar bill is worth $100 worth of gold. It's not based on gold anymore. It's based on like confidence, like you have to like believe in, in the money. Silly. That's crazy. That's why everyone should just spend it as fast as possible. It doesn't make sense. I mean, gold makes no sense anyway. I mean, even if you get to that, I mean the fact that everybody was in the gold, you know, the only thing that makes sense about gold is that I guess it's, it's rare.

Speaker 2:          00:40:20       You know, it's, it's, you can't just have it. You can't just like say, look, I've got millions of dollars because it's everywhere. Just go out into the woods and cut it down. It's hard to get. But what the fuck man. So can I just got to be a better way to fucking go? You right away, right away. You're poor. Reveal with gold was thought about but fascinating. Fascinating. $800 a fuck. So you're ripping people off. So I'm not ripping nobody off. I'm going to set this guy up because I wanted a new life in Colorado. So we're gonna rob this drug deal. I was going to take that money, pay the loan shark off, wait 10 days and go, Hey, I've got a line on a kilo Kokanee $50,000. He probably gave me 30 and I was gonna move to Colorado and buy property, whatever the fuck is.

Speaker 2:          00:41:00       And why didn't you think he was going to go after you? Because they don't. They don't go outside. Fucking New York City. That's only in the movies. These fucking. These guys go to Miami and escape. What I'm saying? You know the people you grew up with in Boston, where do they go? They go to the fucking whatever. That the fucking pigeon place in Boston in the summer and that. Anything out of that area, that comfort zone, they fucking freak pro. They can't take it. You know? The mob really lost a lot of credibility when sammy the bull gravano got away with everything. Everybody lost credit. No, that was the most ridiculous thing. I was like, I thought for sure it was going to kill that guy. Right. That's what happens. You can't be a rat. You know? He walked the Donna up. Whoa. There must be like people coming after him.

Speaker 2:          00:41:37       That's when you realize like, Whoa, this is not the organized thing than it appears. You know, Sammy the book who Chicago cops were putting together the murder. Sammy the bull really to make money. Yeah. How much was the money? I had no idea, but they knew that there was a contract that will and Chicago cops are going to go down and blasting. That's a crazy hand. Used to be a dirty cop, man. You've got to really take a chance. You got to really put yourself out there, you know, and to get a bunch of other dirty cops together. Like you gotta like assumed that you're all going to keep your mouth shut and you're all wet. But it happens all the time. Man, all the time. They're always busting cops. This is too much. Too much power. There's certification. I've searched before. There's tons of dirty cops on Craig's list.

Speaker 2:          00:42:18       Oh Bro. Like he stumbled on that one too, so excited to get it out. You know what's crazy man? Because after a cop is a cop, you know, I can just imagine being living lawyer life to protect your country and blah blah blah blah blah. And also one day you actually, to be a cop, you have to have a certain gene. You really want to help people. You really have to genuinely hurt help people because it's $30,000 a year or it's just you'd want the job. Some people just want that. I think it's more than that. Thirty 8,000 to start is that a little walk a beat and carry a gun at people shoot at you melodies. Cops are getting fucking rich. You got to be a cop for years and become a detective. And First Brad and how much can I detective make? Seventy, 80,000, maybe 100,000.

Speaker 2:          00:42:59       A commander, chief. One hundred and $50,000. I don't know, but I don't think a lot. That's why this dirty fucking cops. That's why one day they go, what the fuck am I doing right? I have to take a little bit here, take a little bit, you know, I'm making $38,000 a year, you know, and this guy wants to give me 5,000 so I don't. Buses book making operations on the corner would have fucking ain't bothering, you know, that's how it starts and it's A. I guess it's like, Hey, we were talking about the idea that you had had a dick on and he said that sometimes when you're doing a bad show, you're so upset with yourself that you resort to doing genome. You're just not happy with you conditionally your life. And what's happened for a cop to. It's fucking tough being a cop every night and at the end of the day you go home at eight in the morning after a 12 hour shift and you're making 40 grand a year and people shooting at you and you got to be out there in the rain and you know, nobody.

Speaker 2:          00:43:46       You know, it's funny because only on tv if people nice to cops, cops put up on a lot. On the other end, you know, people like me, I was a criminal, so I'm always a gentleman to cops. I don't want to fight in that war and so it was nice as honey. I was nice, you know what I'm saying, but there's people that didn't have a little money or take that bad to the bone. They're like, why are you pulling me over for a bit? You get a ticket motherfucker for opening up like that. So the officer was I doing something else inside there because there's a lot of people that are fucking crazy and you need some protection from those peanuts. You need somebody pulling them over when they're weaving in between lanes. He needs someone tackling them when they're ready to shoot people in a fucking mall.

Speaker 2:          00:44:22       You need cops. People that don't think you need cops are crazy. I give this talk. I go, oh, the older I got and the wiser you get. I give my life to teachers, cops. Anybody who's a public servant, you know, all last week we're talking about this fucking Mutt. Charlie Sheen was basically a fucking rich junkie. If you come down to it that's just sitting there talking shit, do you have the balls to go on a plane right now and go to Japan and helped those fucking people? Nobody talks about those fucking people. Nobody really. Nobody listens to a fucking doctor. If a doctor did a fucking podcast today and tried to tell you how to stay fucking healthy, you think you'd get the views. You get all this fucking mole, mole, Charlie Sheen. Now Dr Oz, Dr Oz show. Think about that fucking society. Those guys in Japan right now picking the fucking walls and there's kids under the yelling, the screaming.

Speaker 2:          00:45:13       They'll see things we wouldn't even imagine seeing in a lifetime. Those guys are going to come back and next week we'll have another disaster in Venezuela when Oregon and those guys will never get. Not even a fucking thank you. You don't want that. That that's always killed me. I can never be a public servant. I'm too much of a fucking piece of shit. There's people out there that are just. That's what they live for, you know, and they really believe in it, bro. The day after that earthquake, think how many people just got on a plane and they just came back from somewhere else. Where was there an earthquake? They just. They just got battling bucket, Earthquake Zealand, New Zealand. When the church and the hotel. A lot of God damn earthquakes lately. Fucking dude was sitting here like pigeons on a pond. I don't know what the fuck we're doing here and giggling like a bunch of fucking wouldn't that.

Speaker 2:          00:45:55       It's either going to be San Francisco oriented bias and more time and then we'll fucking next because we need to go to fucking taxes when shit goes down. Texas is the best place to live. At least all the guns are going to come on and ship, but think about all that shit last week with these people. Thinking about what it takes to go over there right now. One of those people get paid to get on a plane and go help those Japanese people. It's a good question. Fucking I. I turned down $50 fucking gigs. If I got to drive an hour, these motherfuckers are going over there. I think about that, bro. You know, what can they even do right now? Right now, what they have to do is figure out how to deal with those nuclei. You can walk into a reactive place when you have no idea who they are, but people in this country give a Frenchman fuck about that physical sucker.

Speaker 2:          00:46:37       Charlie Sheen that's around the state. I think no one cares about charlie sheen anymore. I think it's Ah, it's fucking feels like, what the fuck? Who gives a fuck? It's really quick. It burned out quick. I loved it for, for the call, like Belushi, Dan Stream video killed it for me. I think. Yeah, me too. It's just all first one. When the guy was playing the fart noises, I'm like, Whoa, these are the people he's hanging out with. That's when he dug. Or you believe that shit. That's. Those are coke people. Those Code People Are Idiots. You know? And that's, that's what it is. COPD people are these weird fucking selfish, indulgent, self-destructed people to not fun to hang out with. There's no cool conversation. I just did it for 30 fucking years and for the first 10 I did it with people because it was fun. You know how it's fine. Oh my God, let's do as great. After that, I became this person that was inside. I can be out with people, but I'd never hung out with those. I don't like it. I can't listen to people when they doing coke, I want to kill him. That's why after a while he came and chicks hall because all you want

Speaker 3:          00:47:30       them to do is suck your Dick. I got listen to this fucking story again. There's a line snot. It sucked. I'm fucking. Well, when everybody likes about this whole Charlie Sheen thing is that this guy is saying, you know, fuck it. I'm just gonna have fun. This is what I do. This is how I roll. You know, you don't like it. Fuck you. I'm a rockstar and you know that he's got this crazy confidence and everything is doing, you know, winning next and everybody wants to be able to think like that. Everybody wants to be able to, you know, like people that are struggling and they're going through some shitty job like God damn, how bad ass would it be to be fucking Charlie Sheen right now? It's really fun though. You said something to me after the Vegas show. You took me aside and you're like, ah, yeah, Joey, you know you're standing up.

Speaker 3:          00:48:08       I can see you're working on it or whatever the fuck you had to say to me. Well, the coke was doing the same thing to my fucking stand though. Instead of writing jokes, all I used to say was fucking I'm Joey Diaz. I could bang it 50 percent. I grew up. There lies the Bro Drugs. Coke cigarettes. They lie to you this 80. It's buying into some Columbia and I'm not saying he's a, he's on the money, but I am saying that if he didn't die this way, what is he going to live forever and cure cancer with the fuck differences in May? He's, I mean, the only thing that's sad and tragic because his kids are gonna miss him, but you know what I mean? What is he doing? What does he want to do with himself? This is what he wants to do. And what's a fucking party? I don't think you should stop them. Oh No, you're kidding me. Is so for swore. I thought it was off. Nobody important. Felt right. It happens to the Times I made the mistakes to a call. Of course it's sussman.

Speaker 1:          00:48:59       So yeah, showrooming man was fucking amazing. But you have a great honor. It was visual. It was to the point where the person I was with, I could see their like energy flowing through their skin and then like we went outside and the stars are going crazy and then like shadows looked like they had texture. It was amazing for a, for good our diary or anything. Just just bright green shit today. That's what kills me to the. That trip when I was. I used to get the diarrhea while I was on the mushroom. I that last time just got, when I lived in Colorado, I'd eat a mushroom in 10 minutes late. I'm going to shit. Trying to figure out how many trees they cut, but have you done the. Have you done it the t way before that seemed like it was so much easier on your stomach and it didn't have any proxy is fucking Greg's done. The Tif. A conscience. That's great. Had

Speaker 3:          00:49:45       the emoney to Mascara. T what's that? And how was that the, uh, the mushroom that they believe is responsible for Christianity? I was so crazy. Red and white mushroom. It looks like Santa Claus. Is it like a mushroom mushroom? Like our main psychedelic mushrooms, psychedelic mushroom, but it's a different sort of a psychedelic. It's very weird, you know, I don't know if what I got was good stuff. It is very strange. And then Doug and I did it and the day we did it was the day the war broke out. Nine slash 11. Yeah. The day we went to war and we decided to go this dude yawns house, you know, showing your shit, Bro. That's you son. Anyway, we'd go to this kid, uh, John's house and he lives out in the middle of the desert. Weird fucking town out in Palmdale area or something, you know, not there, but one of those towns where you're like, what the fuck?

Speaker 3:          00:50:28       WHO's out here? Why? What are you doing out here? And we get blitzkrieg on mushrooms out there. And then we watched the news and the news. I'll never forget this, I've talked about this before, Doug. Stan Hope said the guy goes on, he goes, war coverage begins at five and Stan help goes, holy shit, there's a kickoff. We're shroom to the gills to the point where everything I see, I shouldn't be social. I should've been alone in the room called closing my eyes and my back. Oh you see the. I saw the fabric of the universe as I was walking. Everything was a pattern in front of me. It was all really intense, complex geometrics. It was like, like the, the, the covering of the walls, like wallpaper or doors or anything that all that stuff was be. It became transparent and you could see literally the structure of the universe through everything it was.

Speaker 3:          00:51:24       We were fucked. I mean, we were gone and, and the fucking war coverage starts and it was so strange that she's crazy. I couldn't imagine it was so bizarre. Man Just didn't seem real. It's like it's 2000 and whatever the fuck it was back then to three and I was like, this is how we're rocking it. This is how we're rocking it. We're just going to the fuck. That probably fucked you up somehow. You know, it's really like burned into your mind because mushrooms with nine slash 11. That's insane because nine slash 11 was crazy for everybody because that was something they'd never saw ever. You saw it in a psychedelic way going off. Not nine slash 11, so nine slash 11. I, you remember when we were hanging out? Interesting. We went over to a Mike pavements house. It was Eddie and Ralphie and Joey.

Speaker 3:          00:52:15       It was an interesting fucking day because a boy at the shit had went down and we went to Baja fresh and we had some burritos and we were just sitting there and shooting the shit and just talking and not a fucking plane in the sky. That was one of the weirdest things when they shut down on the flights, not a plane. This guy speaking, a favorite man. He has a new book out and he's been actually doing real. Yeah. Tour like the morning show toured all around and stuff. Him and his other book? Yeah, it's a cookbook. He writes it for camping for like, like gourmet food while you're camping and stuff or outside. And I haven't ever eaten food but I hear he's a bad motherfucker.

Speaker 2:          00:52:50       Chicken is chicken Lod puts on it, but it's crazy because I did a, a hit a window pane acid one night when I was, why do they call it window says was like a clear acid. It was like a, it looked like a piece of glass. So, uh, I did it one night and the people I were with, the one guy was with freaked out. It was a Monday night football game and he goes, Bro, I got to go home. Like, all right, I fucking call. I guess I'll trip solo. So I went and I got a call for a buddy of mine and knock on his door. There's dances, he's like, Joey, come on. If I'm like Mr Bender, I can't ya come on in and have a soda. Wait him, he should be back from the gym or something. So I sit down and I'm sitting at tripping my ass off watching fucking Monday night football with him and he's telling me about the stats of the game.

Speaker 2:          00:53:35       It was the jet game and I'm sitting at its dark. He watched the TV and the dark and all of a sudden Howard cosell comes on. He goes, I like to report something. John Lennon has just been shot in front of the coders and here I am tripping on acid and I'm flying by this time and he's watching tv, the darkness and he's talking about, and I'm thinking about John Lennon and getting shot reports are coming in. He's getting just got shot in the Cota. We'll keep you posted. Oh my God. America. I have a sad former beat or he just went into the speed. You could hear it on youtube, but I'll never forget sitting there thinking to myself, you know, like because when you, when you're tripping, you really can't comprehend the foot and they go through you. It's like John Lennon got shot and they shoot the other Beatles. Well, I hope they shout out just fucking going and you can't stop these fucking thoughts. But that was what happened to me that day. Like I just want to call for Brian and he's like, Brian ends up playing out of his league, but if you want to sit and watch the game,

Speaker 3:          00:54:31       weird. When you remember when people died, the jolt. Like, what is it? What is it about memory that some memories are so much more potent than others. Some memories just stay forever. They just locked in and you just don't get rid of them. You remember where you were sitting, you remember what the room looked like or you think you remember what the room looked like? A, but it would be a little bit different if you actually saw in real life. But when people died, like I remember I was at my girlfriend's house when I was like 18 and the space shuttle Challenger blew up and I watched it blow up on tv and I didn't realize what had happened while I was flying to the. I'm not sure if I saw a replay of it or if I saw it live, but I didn't know what was happening. And then it blew up and then I realized what they were showing and then I had turned the volume up and I'm watching this. I'm like, Holy Shit. Like it blew up in the sky, but I can see the carpet, I can see the walls of her room. I mean I can see the whole thing. I remember everything. It's like it's a locked in on me know. What is that? Why, why? How come? I mean is it just that we'd not have enough capacity to remember shit like that all the time?

Speaker 5:          00:55:30       I don't know if it's that or what, because sometimes that kind of shit pops out of nowhere though. Like it wasn't deleted. Like, like Oh my God, I forgot all about that. And like all these memories come rushing in like out of nowhere. So it's, it's almost wonder, makes me wonder if there is a drug or something that could just open all the doors are open all the memory. Have you access to all files? I've been taking this five htp. What does that shift from GNC where it's supposed to be pumping more serotonin, serotonin and stuff like that where I've been only taking it for a week, but immediately I already find my, my mind working better in memory. It really? Yeah. In a happy and happiness. I feel like more. Of course there's other reasons too. Well, you know, Chris and I are

Speaker 3:          00:56:11       coming up with a, uh, like a supplement line. We're going to figure out all the best shit like we're working on right now. He is working on it and we're going to have pills where it's all of the best vitamins for mental throw that shit in function. Throw that shit in there. If he can do five act. You know what I'm talking about that I've never done it before. But you know what I'm talking about, right? If I take a bunch of different stuff, but that's not one of them, what exercises me is what I really write about a situation when I sit down like, okay, can I have on the right about the time I tried off a freshman football and even though I have no fucking idea about it, and then the memories come back to that. Everything. Everything in that genre. Yeah.

Speaker 3:          00:56:49       Everything in that genre that maybe had to do with music music when we're driving stuff, nobody ever gets teary eyed in the car. You hear a song man, my buddy johnny be my best friend had died and whenever I hear van Morrison, marvelous knife for a moon dance, that was like his son, we would go to the diner. These diners in New York, they're all lot of them are here like this that you split around a little bit. Yeah, and they had the fucking thing when you can pick the songs to listen to and you put a couple of quarters in there and you can play songs. Yeah. You have like little shitty speaker, two bucks and we'd be eating cheeseburger. Deluxe is at 3:00 in the morning after playing pool and he would play moon moondance, so now it doesn't matter where I am. I was in Germany, I was in Germany, in the hotel and it's playing in the lobby.

Speaker 3:          00:57:33       Marvelous knife or a moon dance and I'm like, mom saw you just think about that dude. Things get stuck in there man. But you know what? Nothing gets stuck in there. My Act, no. My old material shit on some of the people will like yell out at a show. Like I've had that a bunch of times, especially when I was doing the q and a, which I haven't been doing recently because I'm trying to do more like a tighter, hard, tighter id too. I, you know, I, I thought of that after I saw Norton, saw Norton in Austin and killed. He had a great set and he only did it like 50 minutes and I thought about. I'm like, man, that's really all you need to do. These hour and a half sets that I'm doing two hour sets and a lot of it is just quick q and a.

Speaker 3:          00:58:13       Some people like it, but some people feel obligated to stick around like it's just like it's too much attention that you're asking for, tell them your show's over and then do the cube with A. Maybe I'll figure out another way to do q and a, maybe do a night where it's just q and a or it's not gonna make it real cheap, you know, just to pay for the room and make it so that like one night maybe there's not a standup show. It's a q and a show because it's like, it's a little indulgent. But anyway, my point is when people yell out shit, like yell out, you know, do this bid, do like Noah's Ark or something like that. Man, I fucking forget a lot of them. Like if you, you yelled out, Anna Nicole Smith was one of my best buds ever. But if I go back and try to figure out how to do it now, I'll fuck it up.

Speaker 3:          00:58:52       You didn't know his arc. Pretty good. The other day somebody would pull that out because I was baked as Jesus was Jesus on an asteroid. Like I even forgot it, I can't believe I remembered it because that was the first time I had done it in years and this guy asks for it. I was like, wow, I don't even know if I can do this, but I did it and close with it, but that's, you know, that was a mistake in vegas too to do a q and a in front of 2000 fucking people and there's just too many people. Too many people yelling shit out. If I was going to do something like that, I had to do with microphones, like have like a little line like we did in Columbus when we did the DVD. When does the UFC coming back to Columbus? Are they ever going to come and think we are maybe in the future, but we just did striked with aged strikeforce.

Speaker 3:          00:59:29       Did the last Columbus Shell to Arnold was just two weeks ago. Yeah. I was always a cool weekend. He had the arnold show. Fuck. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, that's why I did my special club. That's funny bumps. Great. Did the theater that I did too was um, what's it called again? The southern theater, the theater that we filmed the special and Mae West used to perform there and fucking Groucho Marx. Wow. Oh No, no, no. Not Groucho Marx. WC fields. WC fields and Mae West perform there. What the fuck, man? That's some history. That's amazing. Imagine trying to be an actor back then. How fucking tough it must have been. I mean, shit, there's, there's no internet. There's, I mean you got to get picked to do things. You got to get picked. The state studio has to choose you. That's probably. There must have been so much chicanery going on back then. What's that should carry? I'm like in appropriate behavior. It was different than it was

Speaker 1:          01:00:26       words like, like, like an African. Sometimes the patient cracks like an African person. Huge word sometime. I'm like, what? Gina is probably a big word. That's how it even intelligent. Where it's a silly word. I think it's like a swine term. Yeah. But that's way different than the vocabulary. Then I met Joey Diaz. Did you know what that word with? No, what? I'll all, I'm trying to remember what the fuck I was trying to say about weird

Speaker 3:          01:00:57       because if you talk to people from them, like even in Hollywood was different than they'd move out here and you and you suck everyone's Dick and then they give you a script and get a loaf of bread. They gave you a paycheck every week and you just got assigned different films. All those guys that you see from the sixties and fifties that way here. They all lived in Burbank, Burbank, all those houses that look the same shit. You remember all those movies about like jfk, like they always have those belongings that were with jfk that were like sort of semi disposable. They would always be like hanging around, but they never really addressed them. Right. That's like 90 percent of what came to Hollywood. People came here last looking to stick. Some people stuck. The people that did stick, all the other people's had look, they stuck, they stuck, looked a little stilted, they stuck.

Speaker 3:          01:01:43       They're still there. They're famous and they get sucked into the system and wind up being one of those little quiet girls. And JFK is arm that's still happens today. Fuck yeah, it does. This is it, man. This is the land of dreams. This is the strangest fucking place on earth. This is the place where you go to maximize how many people who know who you are, what you can make a living. Just on that. Now you got to suck a little Dick and do something where people pay attention to on the Internet, like Kim Kardashian and move. Basically. She started out blowing her boyfriend and fucking him on the Internet and videos obviously produced videos, you know, obviously produced. Absolutely. And then she's fucking macy's. Now she's signing perfume bottles at macy's. I was in Australia and there was a fucking billboard with Kim Kardashian on it in Australia.

Speaker 3:          01:02:34       She goes around the girl, good for her, figured whatever. I mean, she's not diabetic dog. This is, there's nothing wrong. But it's fascinating that this is the spot where all this goes down. This is the spot where everybody comes to to make something happen. It comes to, to get some attention. There's a lot of people that fall through the cracks. You know? There's a lot of victims in this fucking town, so people have come and gone since you've been a lot, how have you ever gotten facebook and saying, hey, no. You're like, Ooh, those are creepy. I just happened to that guy because I forget about half the people that moved to upstate New York member Laszlo Laszlo.

Speaker 5:          01:03:11       He used to hang out at the comedy store all the time. A long time ago. Laszlo. He moved to Florida. Anyway, nevermind. He's somebody that just slipped away. Used to. We used to talk to him like every week it.

Speaker 2:          01:03:20       I do not remember that guy. I remember. I don't remember what it looked like. What was the town coordinator? When we first got to the store, he hits me up. He's like in fucking Jerusalem. Jerusalem, walking through Europe right now. People have come and gone that had big plans and deals. Yeah. Scripts and I've met with Pachino last week. These motherfuckers ain't God Jack. We've seen a lot of the real estate. I got an email last week on my regular email from some dude and I call them back and I'm like, hey, how you doing? He was my first manager. Whoa. And He. He was a filter. His family was filthy rich and he went back to sell real estate. He's like, Hey man, I'm just calling you because I'm opening up comedy clubs again. What I'm finding steady goes the bottom fell out, but it's amazing that I forgot all about that fucking dude.

Speaker 2:          01:04:09       That was fucking years ago. Yeah. Some people just decide it's not for them. What am I? Just too much stress that we were friends with that one day she disappeared, but we were friends. How many friends and we had that got a lot. How many people with talent? People that came to the store, so I got a script I just sold and you've got both. A year later they're like, oh no, I'm doing radio in Wisconsin. What the fuck? You would just sell the script. That paramount. It's amazing how many people come and go through it and get spit out.

Speaker 3:          01:04:40       Do this. So many. How about guys with talent? How about Mike Ricco? Huh? How about Mike Greco? Greco. When I started out in 1994. Mike Ricco was a funny fucking comic. He's a funny guy. I'm sure he's very funny. I saw when I saw Mike Recur at the store, I remember thinking we were probably around the same age or something and I remember thinking, this fucking guy is going to be huge. This guy is funny. He's funny. He's confident up there. He'd already had the article written, written about them. When I went to the store that was like an article that was framed like in the lobby, like a little article about Mike Rucker or think that's kind of fucking take off, but for whatever fucking reason to the pieces, don't fall in the right order, you know? It's just amazing. It was a weird. Chelsea Chelsea handler was up there with us from day one.

Speaker 3:          01:05:25       She's going gang busters now. That crazy bitch look at her. She's kind of like sitcoms and she's got her own fucking show, like a reality show about her show. So she's got her show and then she's got a reality show about are so good for her. I hope she's the white drunk oprah. That's what I hope for. You know, who I heard was on that reality show about Chelsea? Uh, the girl from Denver that the assistant. Oh really? Awesome. He's one of the characters. Yeah, she drove from Denver. Remember the assistant that you to always drive us around or the comedy works. Yeah, I do remember, but why am I blanking on her name? Eve? Eve. Eva, Eva. Eva. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah. She's awesome. She works with Chelsea handler now. Yeah. You know, I'm fucking. I'm always happy when someone figures out a way to make it through the crazy net that you know, that like the salmon ladder or whatever the fuck it is to get to the top.

Speaker 3:          01:06:18       You know, I'm always fascinated. You know, we have like the people that I thought were going to be fucking stars. How have you been like Dane Cook? You know, I would have never guessed that Dane Cook would have hit the way he hit. No disrespect. It's just. I couldn't believe that he. Dude, you knew that he was going to get that big. I do it by one conversation we had after the width of the lap. Stop. Really for the laugh factory. I said to him, what'd you think of the laptop when he goes, Bro, it was good, but it was too much fucking work. I got to figure out how to narrow it until one night and I knew right there. I feel like that was a year before he hit her to doing a whole month. That was before the whole weekend. Which is. Yeah. He was like, that's just bullshit.

Speaker 3:          01:06:58       That's just garbage. So you knew he was going to be that huge though. How could you have predicted that? That's just had a feeling. You just have. All the arrows are pointing at him. I didn't know he was the sell out Madison Square Garden twice as dual. Fuck that. You know, he's the first guy that ever figured out how to really connect with people over the Internet. You know? That guy is still to this day, he's constantly answering emails, constantly connecting with people. Uses that say now thing gets on that. That's on twitter. There's twitter, there's facebook for people to connect with these guys. That's why there's this podcast is a fame. I mean, we started out this podcast, Brian and I were just sitting in front of a laptop with fucking snow falling. Can remember we gave visual effects. Let's try snowflakes. Okay, let's try rain.

Speaker 3:          01:07:42       Let's have a spinning apple. It's amazing. It's called black and red. This economy, what's going on right now? You could do standup, you know all the time, but you need to open up different doors for yourself and this is where this comes in. The podcast will definitely. I mean, you know, where the podcast really comes in, it comes in for everybody else. It comes in for all these other people that don't have people like us around them. You know, it sounds arrogant, but I mean there's a lot of people out there that live in shitty neighborhoods and they have dumb friends and they don't have anybody to, to, to really connect with where they feel like, you know, these people are also growing along with them. Like they're all growing

Speaker 2:          01:08:16       together. It's a lot of people that don't have that. They just don't. It's not available. So this podcast gives them an alternative way to look at things, gives them a way to see how all of us in our own lives are overcoming adversity and dealing with situations and being honest about ourselves and honest about our friends and honest about life and you know, and that's inspires an ethic and that, that inspires other people to be likeminded. And that's where it helps. It helps everybody. It doesn't just help like feel comedy clubs and you know, get people to buy your book or get people to come see you in Rochester. It also helps them, you know, this shit all helps. Everybody will tell you what, when I really got into this and when I came on your podcast, as you know, people always ask what? I'm going to come on your podcast for me Bro.

Speaker 2:          01:08:59       I've always hated radio. If you've noticed on the road, I don't show up. Yeah, you don't get. They don't like to do it. I don't want to hear that shit. Well, it's awesome. I don't want to hear about you promoting. You don't want to hear about you talking and that's what the podcast avenue has done for all of us. That's why these people come here and do well on your pocket. It lets people come up here and want to sell jokes. The date, I don't want to sell rock, just myself. The other place I came up here to open up about what's on my mind today. Well, weekly. I don't come here. That's why I don't like doing this shit. That's why they were doing radio. So tell us why you don't like flying. And I got to go into a job like comics unleashed.

Speaker 2:          01:09:30       They'll fuck you. So I want to be me dog. I want to talk about the loan shot I owed the. That was going to beat you. That's what this entails. That's why I hate radio. That's why I hate going down there with these fucking fake MCS that try to be fucked up. Can you write down what we did was the last time I came here and fucking a lead and get the fuck out of my coming here. It was from the heart and that's what a podcast is and use it and your podcast will is people come up and they try to force the funding and the podcast don't work and you know the fucking fun and I'm the other end of it and the other end of it, I get emails and twitter messages and facebook messages from some really fucking cool people. Interesting people and you, you get, you get something out of it when you connect with them and we're all getting something out of.

Speaker 2:          01:10:12       I was in San Diego of moon dog and the nicest guy in San Diego, art dot Com. He drew a picture of Charles Bronson for me was to me in the mail. This is fucking beautiful with him, with his hat and we've become friends like he shows up to the gigs of San Diego. We smoked the bone. Oh Gee. Last night was a lot and it was just great to connect with somebody. I mean, listen, there's good and bad on par or whatever. It was pure. Either be cute, dress on soldier, but deep down inside, especially with the podcast, I've always tried to put myself in this way, so if you don't like people Mcginn fucking faggots. Don't listen to me, don't talk to my fucking show. This is what I did. This is who I am now, let's work it out. I go fuck yourself. And a lot of people liked the honesty and they come up. You know what, if you come out, I always talk to you. I don't like smoking dope but everybody, because next thing you know you're writing your mind on the way home. You smoke 80 joints body. But I like meeting people. This is part of this fucking business. You know, it's interesting. The connection between human beings is becoming, you know, it's becoming more and more expansive. You know, it's like, you

Speaker 3:          01:11:14       know, you have like a, a network of people that you interact with now and you could just develop a really cool network and only be around really cool people for the most part. Like twitter. Overwhelmingly, I've kind of like 280 something thousand people on there now. Overwhelmingly Nice. Overwhelmingly, it's very rare that someone will say something, do should you be on twitter when they do, you just block them and it you just click a link, a pink block. It's really simple and then you don't have to deal with that guy anymore and then you're nice to everybody and they're nice to you and you try to fucking know have a little exchange. Every day. People were sending me cool shit on twitter every day, some new fucking thing on the earthquake or a new video of a tsunami or new crazy monkey that they found in Liberia or whatever.

Speaker 3:          01:11:55       You know what I mean? It's like every day there's some new fascinating shit. It's a network unlike any other. I've never. There's never been a time where you had so much access to interesting people and information and ideas. Never. You know, when we were kids and we liked the band, there was none of this from the album covers and the sleeve of an album. We paid for the tickets or one interview on television. Nobody ever got this personal and is down and dirty with people now know this is why I do these things. This is why I come up here with you guys. I do the podcast with. They're not fake. That's why people love you too. I mean that's why fake comedy guide dog. That's not my bag. Oh Shit. We're up here talking about what's in my heart and what's in my. By the way, I was thinking of you guys today.

Speaker 3:          01:12:37       Not in a sexual way. I had a ticket that because I got home late last night. I went through the why this morning I got home like I take it that when I was better I got like a Roddick and I want to go back with that. So I backed out but it was on my bed so I couldn't come because if my wife would go like, hey, on my side of the bed. So I'm like, what am I going to wipe the sweat? So I had a soccer. I wanted to like pigeon pose and I took the sock off and just because I always hold the top of the egg roll.

Speaker 1:          01:13:00       It doesn't slow me too. He thinks that's crazy. He never heard that one of the pigeon pose. I hope you hold the top of the turtle neck so it doesn't blow up like a volcano. Right. And I just came into the sock but then it was fucked up. I took the sock on the floor and I woke up. I went to put it on a bucket shot would shit big. Both these a sock would come in and they'll sit there and go, Huh. So you pinch it to like at the top and keep it like a little pig. Something like a Kiddie pool size? No, it blow you're uncircumcised bolt, right? Let's not just loads up and I just go and it's like your spider man. He didn't know he was. He's just been talking about being uncircumcised and trying to figure out. And it's like, spoiler.

Speaker 1:          01:13:38       No spoiler alert. Disgusting People. Why do you. Have you ever thought about maybe getting it now? Synthesize? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I want to do it now. Thinking about getting my dick cut 50 Brian actually at this point, who gives a fuck? It's supposed to feel better and then you have the skin over it. If I can feel great, if I had a boy bro, I would absolutely not have them cut. Have you them six girls. Most girls think it's disgusting. What the fuck them. Tough Shit. Crazy bitches. They're all crazy bitches. You're better off without them. What might pick a swollen? Listen, they're not going to see my dick when it's dead. They're going to see it in full effect and you just pulled the skin back and all they see is down with anyway. Can you like tie it in and not or anything but like

Speaker 3:          01:14:23       girl that used to fuck, I forget her name, but she used to hang out with one of the girls at the comedy store and she was. She was having a dilemma because she was dating a guy at first for the first time was uncircumcised and she didn't like the way it felt in her mouth. She was drinking and she was telling everybody I just, I really like them but just don't. It feels like like skin and

Speaker 1:          01:14:44       it probably feels like those little rubber things mended. Those things that you try to hold, but you can't hold it. It's like a little rubber thing filled with water. It's like a toy in. Nevermind. No. You would have known what it was, so you really would cut your Dick just so girls would like it. Like what if you were uncircumcised? Just gross looking. I think it's dirty. I think it's pick one. A condom on it. That's exactly what your take is cleaner. It's not the fuck you talking about. There's more. You have more disease when you have so much propaganda used. Guilty motherfucking. If you fuck a chicken and what it looks like. An elephant trunk. That's what that song. Evil Boys.

Speaker 3:          01:15:27       Yeah. Eva Boys about. They want to like. There's a tradition when they come on man, they go and circumcise him with a fucking rusty knife out in the woods. That's why I was like, you know my, my Dick's only for penis. Penis. Brother is only for girls. It's not for men know. What's this? Beaver boy, he circumcised dee aunt word. It's a. it's a great fucking song put. Please pull it up. Pull it up.

Speaker 1:          01:15:50       No, I don't want to hear that shit right now. Let's do. I want to hear it. It's good. It's good goddamn song, but it's about. We're talking about traditions of cutting people's skins off their dick. It's ridiculous. It's stupid. Did you notice like throughout that song, there's a lot of references to south park.

Speaker 3:          01:16:05       What cows? Mom's a big fat bitch. Is that what it is that who it is? Cut. It's Kyle's mom. Mom's a big fat because that's what I'm. Carmen would say. Wow. I didn't think of that. I didn't even realize that. I thought she was talking about someone she knew. That's what I thought too, but it's a south park thing. See, look at that. Kids growing up in South Africa, getting some South Park influence. Yeah. It's weird. That is funny though. Yeah. South Park. Just to get the most reach ever. There's never been a show like that before. It's been on for this many years. It's still good. Do you ever watch it, Joey? It's frustrating.

Speaker 1:          01:16:43       I'll watch it, but I'm an adult. We're like family guy. I like family guy from time to time, but that won't sit there and you like family guy, but you won't watch South Park to have a. Why am I mean? It's not that like it. It's that I watch it. If I got 10 minutes. Did you see team America? No. You did on Bro. I wish I could do that. Guys. I wish we could do that. Erase movies through your head so you can rewatch it again. Yeah. Wow. Interesting. How

Speaker 2:          01:17:10       my mom died when I was 14. I became a magnet for. There was no fucking game stuff. I don't even play. I played monopoly two weeks ago. We were talking to the guys pot all day in place of his cat. Listen to. He's talking about he's a navy seal. His mouth. I crawl into the desert. I've never played games playing fucking cards. Okay. I don't have that time, that luxury that you can play pool my mom's bar and that was there. That's how I babysat myself by playing pool, but I've never been a cartoon guy like Popeye dog pain, you know, we grow up eventually and you know, you move on, it's cute ad, but you got to go out. It's a man's world. Like James Brown said, you know what I'm saying, Doug? And that's why I'm happy about going to New York in the next four days.

Speaker 2:          01:17:51       I'm going to hang out with men for a couple of fucking days. You guys are going to die on the twitters. There ain't none of that shit. I'm gonna go hang out with my buddies. Like grew up with a couple of days to different place over there. You know, you really realize that once you've lived here for a few years and you know, after a while you get comfortable with wherever the fuck you are. But there's a different thing over there. Just just as many Douche bags over here as over there, but they pretend to be nicer over here. Listen Bro, I got my people that I've known since I was a fucking kid that was in trouble. Those are the people I hang out with 40 years later. I trust those people. What do you think it is though, about people over there where there's, you know, everybody always uses the cliche or they're real.

Speaker 2:          01:18:28       People on the east coast are real. What the. What is that? Is the weather. The weather. Make them do that. Is it people are real or fake? Fucking everywhere. I got fake motherfucking friends here. Sure. I got motherfuckers will get stabbed for me here too when I got back home. Right. But Dude, don't you think the high percentage is higher in New York of real people? Because I do. I think they're, yeah. I think there's more real people in the east coast than there are here. I think there's a lot of silly, goofy Fox come out here from these coasts. There's a lot of that. These are the creative artsy. Yeah, but I mean there's a lot of real people here too. I'm saying it's not like it's a generalizations like it's not like it's like one side is really in. People always try to play that card.

Speaker 2:          01:19:05       East Coast is real. West Coast is Craig now. There's plenty of real people on the west coast too, but I think to Senate Manhattan, there's tons of little cuts and men and men of course. It's just like the sunset bullshit. Little young kids drinking water trick of five hour energy. Still dudes living in Jersey. This. I know what you're saying. There's still ice think long island. I think if you add it all up, there's still more others on the suburbs is a ton of shit. I thought I grew up with my buddies. I love my buddies. They were there for me when I needed them the most and they're still fucking there. You follow me on hold for five days to smoke some dope. I already fluent over there. It's flown over there. They got an ounce of earthquake and announced the fucking moon rocks over there and I'm taking a sour diesel and man I got.

Speaker 2:          01:19:47       I got a sativa now at the fucking. Oh, an OCC. They got a got a deer. Sour diesel. That's so fucking strong dog. So I'm just going back to smoke dope. Are you worried at all about all this shit? That's happening. Are you worried at all? But all these fucking people in the Middle East are trying to overthrow their government, all these different countries at a fight mile. Where are we doing fucking 12 or is it really of the world is not coming. Two thousand 12 is this and all this shit's going to go somewhere. This radiation is going to leak. Are these people going to fucking go? What's this is all about adjustment. What's our next fucking mood now I 2:12. We might not be able to drink a water ever again. The something. Something's got to work. You know, we might not be. What's going to happen there? We're going to have to all drink bottled water and half of the ocean is contaminated with oil. Yeah. You take your shower. Japan should do it. You should just have it. Have a room

Speaker 3:          01:20:38       where you just get a couple of extra bottles like arrowhead every week, you know, and just, you know, if, if something really bad happens, you gotta get the Fuck Outta here. You know, that's, that's the reality. The reality is California is massively overpopulated and everyone is playing musical chairs and everyone is hoping that that fucking music doesn't stop on their watch. They're hoping that somehow or another there are safely in the backyard, not near any trees. When the shit hits the fan, you know, just taking a guess. Just hoping. Well, nothing's happened since [inaudible] 94. Yeah, but if you look over the course of human history, 94 is a blink of an eye. If you look over the course of the history of the world, it's not even that there's a lot of shit that's going to happen to this place. This did not, was not shaped like this.

Speaker 3:          01:21:19       When you look out the window and you see those mountains, those didn't just. They weren't like made with a mold. Right? That's the lava and the fucking ground moving and the tectonic plates shifting and you know there's a reason why it's 12,000 feet above sea level. That shit rocketed over the course of who knows how long the changes and we know that the entire earth supposedly had one content. That's the whole pangea theory that there was one content and they split up, you know, because of all sorts of different events and became Africa and North America and some shit's happening. We just got through offer rotation a little bit from that earthquake. The fuck is that going to Japan? They fit. Yeah. The shore moved eight feet by eight feet. There's a divide somewhere out there. They said it's 270 miles long and 50 miles wide.

Speaker 3:          01:22:08       Where were the actual epicenter of the earthquake was like what? What happened was beyond our comprehension and yet still nothing in comparison to shit that's happened before. You know, they still don't know what the fuck stop the Ice Age. The Ice Age was just 10,000 years ago, which is nothing. Ten thousand years ago, most of North America was under a mile high sheet of ice. Wrap your fucking head around that. Canada ice. All the fucking North Dakota south. That shit was a mile high of ice. Woolly mammoths were running around saber tooth tigers and shit. It was a totally different world. Just 10,000 years ago. What that global warming because of humans, you know what, what, what caused that? What caused that radical change in the atmosphere? They don't know what if it just keeps on getting hotter and hotter and it turns into a sun. Like the sun was like the last earth. That stupid. They know more than that. It's just like shit that you would say when you were 14 before

Speaker 1:          01:23:06       you even went to any science classes with the earth comes like a person who says say, stop polluting my water. It doesn't take a fucking genius to tell you that is either here or Seattle, Oregon. Yeah. Fucking genius. You know this whole, this whole west coast, all we could do is pray for Vancouver. It could be vocal. You bitches. What iphone is? You better make sure that shift hooks up. Leslie, have you got an APP for your fucking earthquake? Right. Great. Absolutely. Tell you where the earthquakes are. Great maps. It has no patient notification with half and what it's going to be here like 10 minutes before Claudia. Right? Because that's the fucking app I need. Well I need to get a dog. You need to get a dog sit really close to a fucking treach yet ultimately, what can we do though? What can we do?

Speaker 1:          01:23:51       Do we escape? How do we live like, like survivalists and moved to the fucking mojave and, and, and you know, by space and one of those underground bunkers that you can, you know, you want to get probably go to the middle of the country taxes Austin, Texas. Well, what if that's where the fucking asteroid hits one thing about Texas, you know they're going to go down swinging. Yeah. Down that the Mexicans were going down. So I like Texas and I like Austin. I would totally be down with taxes. If they could just do something about their fucking weed laws that we'd lost. And yet we don't get this. Trust me, you don't get the same we'd, I've friends in our days. You do? No, you don't. You can't get sativas Brown. Not The shit.

Speaker 1:          01:24:37       It ain't easy bro. It ain't easy and it's not the same yield. Like the reason why people grow sativas is because there's a bunch of people here are kind of sewers and that's what they want and the people that have grown at one, but the people that are just looking to make money, it takes more time to grow sativas and it does indiegogo. They have to be grown indoors. You can grow them outdoors here. Yeah, I know, but there's weed snobs in Texas. I'm sure there are easy to find and that I get up at 7:30 in the morning and go buy a bag of dope. One of the attorney and the construction work to people. That's the question. Hey, you know what? As long as nobody else to find more weed, no, I'm going to wait. No, you're wrong Brian, because you got to deal with drug dealers. You got to deal with people that are willing to go to jail because they're selling weed and that's the reality of the situation. Ninety nine percent, that's what we work on yet, but it ain't as good as what we've got. Now. If you want to live in Texas, you can live in Texas.

Speaker 1:          01:25:33       You could figure out a way to tell us about where the fuck I lived in control weed. I'm telling you. Do you hire some kid who's like a fucking buy a big house and growth a couple plants, but you hire some kid is like a PA on a set. He'll listen buddy. You wanna make a quick thousand bucks and you give them $5,000 a week to take him to his body and you put them on a greyhound bus. I used to. I mean I used to grow in my, in my closet in Ohio and you know, and it was great. It was awesome. We'd awesome. See, I've always been a real motherfucking head since day one guys.

Speaker 2:          01:26:04       So the people I ran with were real heads and we attract each other. When I live in Colorado, I some of the wildest fucking weed I got gotten aspen to that high altitude in boulder, but the people I ran with our heads, people who understand that concierge, likeminded people will find. Like when I find people, I can tell when somebody's a professional, I can tell a fucking amateur and when you run it through a professional pot smoker just to look as good as a wink, do a blind or they just give you that look, a real weed guy, a pull you over like I did with that dude. I didn't know this motherfucker. I didn't know, but that's a nigger. I fucking man. I said to him, you look how you look like this might have looked at me like I was a fucking genius. He's like, you know, I left it on the dresser right there. I went in my pocket. Game of butter. We a professor would say, did you take this out of your boss? Oh my God. He's a professional.

Speaker 2:          01:26:52       I used to. True. You check it. Believe it came out of your book. No fractional pot smoker or looking at. But in Ohio and go, you're a bad motherfucker. Guns. We don't think. Joey, I don't think I'm a professional plasma. This is 30 years ago. This is 30. I got news for you. If you pulled the bed out of your balls, I've been like, no, you smoke weed for. That was in my fucking deal. That's a professional though. I don't play that stupid nonsense shared. Imagine showing coming. I could. You really don't imagine joey coming up to you and go, whoa guys. I got some weed in my bars. I don't say that when you're in an airport and you're waiting to go outside and get some and you're a professional you for fucking three hours and then trust me bro. A professional will never let you leave the house without. We've, there's things professionals do dog that they know. You call it professor two in the morning. I can't sleep. They'll say, come over here and get high with you. They will not answer the fucking phone professionals or different to you. Um, to take days off. Every once in a while, like Sundays or Saturday, I'll take it off.

Speaker 3:          01:28:02       Take the whole day off. How do you feel when you saw her?

Speaker 2:          01:28:05       Like a fucking, like, I can't put. I can't focus. I'm walking around confused now.

Speaker 3:          01:28:11       I've got to be honest. It's kind of Nice to take a couple of days off. Yeah. Yeah. It's Kinda Nice. I take many days off in a row, but I still like getting high at night, like sometimes at night just to sizzle it, you know, when I don't take off when I'm writing, I don't write. I write hi everybody got to ride high because I ran my. Every time I get goofy. Well I don't. I mean I do read high. I mean I do write sober sometimes, especially when I wake up in the morning. A lot of times I do revisions on things and I like to review it for a bunch of different states, but when I write, hi man, it's like a symphony playing in my mind, you know? It's like there's music, then music comes through these words and there's lights and and fucking there's dancing going on in my head when I'm high.

Speaker 3:          01:28:48       There's a lot of shit happening when I'm sober. I'm like slowly piecing it together. It's like the difference between typing with your fingers when you don't know how to type. When you're just using your index finger and you're going t age a, W, n when you can type, when you don't even have to look, you know, like right now I can type. I don't have to look at the keys. I know how to type, especially if I get loose and get relaxed. Is that much of a difference? It's like good flows. It's like it connects you to whatever the fuck it is, whatever we're. Whatever it is that makes you creative, it connects you to it.

Speaker 2:          01:29:19       Blanket. I like to be stone when I write the one man, Charlotte, to be a little district side.

Speaker 3:          01:29:25       Really? Are you still writing the. You did that a bunch?

Speaker 2:          01:29:28       No, this is completely. This is the real deal. This is from the time I came from Cuba to me. Finally, and this is a new one that you're doing. I'm doing the workshop April 20th. I got to Hollywood and I got a producer to put some money up and do it like in Hollywood. Nice. I'm going to really wrap the Houseman April 20th. It's a Thursday night. And where's it at again? It's, it's a. it's something to do that this theater in Lankershim just for 40 people, you know, just to get the writing down and have people make notes to say Joe. Yeah. Like this way, like this, you know. Uh, April 20th. Is that what you said? It's a Thursday night I think, or 20 baby. So Wednesday night. So now for the 21st 21st. Yeah, Thursday night, yeah. Okay. Well I'm going to go there that, you know, it's really weird when. And that's what I do when I'm having a hard time writing comedy. I ranked a one man show and I get myself in a different state. Like it's, it's the one man shows a little sad. It's about my, you know what I'm saying? It's about what was going up as a kid. So you try to find the humor in it and sometimes it's pretty fucking cool. Dude is another quake that just hit Chile. There you go. Bitches number

Speaker 3:          01:30:28       Santiago and Santiago Chile weight number. I Dunno, I dunno.

Speaker 2:          01:30:33       Can I just say yesterday that said that some guy predicted a from some weather thing, but it was going to either be on the 16th or the 17th, it's going to be another earthquake. So he was money. He was fucking Melissa's. Another earthquake was definitely gonna Happen on the 16th. Today is the motherfucking 16th.

Speaker 3:          01:30:50       This fucking this thing in Japan with this nuclear reactor is freaking me out, you know, and we're, here's what's freaking me out that they didn't know what to do. If the power went off, they had like eight hours of backup and then they, the. It starts a meltdown because they can't call the rods, so they're pumping ocean water onto the rod to try to cool them off. I can't believe that this is. This is how they design these things that you're living in a place where earthquakes happen all the time. Now if an earthquake happens and the power goes out and if something goes wrong, you can't. You don't have a way to cool this fucking thing in the ocean water work though. No, not really. I mean it's doing okay. It's keeping it, keeping it from fucking exploding and blowing a hole through the earth. What they're doing right now is real dangerous because all this shit is going to get into the atmosphere. All this radiation, they can't really contain. I mean, unless they're gonna, figure out a way to drop some sort of a gigantic dome over the whole area and seal it off. You know, a giant led dome. How the fuck are they going to stop this radiation from getting out into the atmosphere?

Speaker 2:          01:31:55       Worst thing that. What's the worst case scenario you're looking at?

Speaker 3:          01:31:57       And another dude they're talking about, see they tried to downplay it at first saying that it's going to be fine, but now there's on CNN, there's a new official report and this guy says that spent fuel rods are exposed, is heightened concerns, so spent fuel rods and unifor of Japan's stricken food. Fukushima nuclear power plant have been exposed, resulting in the emission of extremely high levels of radiation. The head of the wild, the nuclear regulatory commission set on Wednesday, this is the fucking dangerous shit man. And what's scary is we have these things all over the place. There's like 150 of these in this country. You know,

Speaker 1:          01:32:33       maybe it will morph, like get into the human. I don't know. Like do you see the map of the radiation? Like it's going to hit California. I don't know if that was legit, legit going to hit California saying, oh, well how do you know our ways? Does that map real? Really? I Dunno. I Dunno. I Dunno how it carries now. What direction is like, you know, what's sad about Japan that they have that, that place called Oakland our where it's beautiful. It's the place in the earth where the people lived the longest will inflate their 100 and something that they. That's where that coral calcium fad came from. Rent. They don't take it. They don't know if it's the fish. Don't know if it's the island. You know, it just kills me that that's the end of that fucking party. That's it. That's all going to be contaminated. The radiation's gonna Make A.

Speaker 3:          01:33:20       Yeah. What is gonna Happen? I mean, see, that's the crazy thing about nuclear powers. Like, yeah, it works great, you know, and it's better than coal because coal totally fucks up the atmosphere and creates greenhouse gases and all that shit. But man, when nuclear goes bad it goes bad. I mean this is the idea behind is so crazy. You know what nuclear powers, I mean, you're harnessing the very power that like the very thing that makes sons, the very power of the sons is it's all atomic. There's, that's you're dealing with shit that we don't totally have control over yet. We have control over for periods of time, but the bottom line about nuclear power is no matter what you do, you've got nuclear waste and you've got nuclear waste that's going to be around for you. GotTa. Figure out a place to put it.

Speaker 3:          01:34:06       You know what I mean? That's what they do in, in Nevada, like all these, there's always like the disputes and debates about where to put this shit. That's one of the reasons why Nevada got gambling or the Vata was allowed to have casinos. They let them blow bombs off in the fucking desert. Shit, let's move. Here's the thing, men move to where when you get a bunch of million people like we have an la, 20 million people will fuck man, how are you going to power everything? You had a lot of refrigerators going on, man. You got a lot of gas machines pumping gas. You get a lot of trucks that have to drop off that cash. You had a lot of shit happening, man.

Speaker 1:          01:34:40       Do people start leaving here? If something bad does happen,

Speaker 3:          01:34:45       oh my God, it's impossible bro. We would all have to just walk out of here. It would take days of bumper to bumper traffic to clear out la days and days and no work. No one to be able to go far but all get stuck in the desert and cars will be broken down. People would be screaming, let me in your car and your car can be some Zombie Shit Bro. It would be some Zombie Shit. Shit. It's really possible, man. It's really possible. Our society's incredibly fragile and we're starting to see it. It's like this seems like a weird thing that's happening because like everyday things you see, keep getting weirder and weirder. It really does seem like we're in a movie now like this Charlie Sheen thing happens and even the Kim Kardashian thing and it all seemed so surreal. And then as all this is going on, earthquake in Chile, earthquake in New Zealand, floods in Australia and it's just constantly happening.

Speaker 3:          01:35:36       A million people dying with the fish die. Whether was was this piss test that that's that. The Algal Silva fuck that earthquake and Chili's. I have five point three that's bolted. Earthquake. It's still an earthquake every day. I'm a map. It's a five point three eight and I'm scared. So Joey Diaz is going to be in New York this weekend for no bullshit, but we'll say there's a big difference. Tumbled. Tell him what you were saying the there, but northridge that the five point four. What's the tipping point for every point? Is 100 percent stronger than the proceeding point? So five point one is 100 percent stronger than a five point zero. That is crazy. Now the crazy one is the one in Alaska apparently that happened in the sixties. I think it was. I think it was 65. It was a nine point two, nine point one. One hundred percent stronger than the one in Japan and it was 100 percent stronger than that. Wow.

Speaker 3:          01:36:35       Nine point two for four fucking minutes. That shit rock. Apparently you could. You could feel it in San Francisco. That's if, if right now would have to happen in Japan. If you hold today at a five point three earthquake, you think it's the end? Just when you think to like, fuck it. I just get to my hands and knees and say a prayer. I get the fuck out of my house. I run right people. Chili. What they were thinking. Five point. This is the beginning of the year again. They just got here a year and a half ago. Not even. And you know guys. The reality is that this is not the big concern. This is one small minor thing that you can avoid by not living on a fault line. The real concern is super volcanoes and asteroids. Those are the real concerns because there's hundreds of thousands of rocks out there in space that can fuck up everything and they're flying around and every now and then they collide with one another and one of them gets hurled towards earth and it slams in and that's a wrap.

Speaker 3:          01:37:29       That's a wrap for this life. That's a wrap for this generation. That's a wrap for this developmental cycle of, of biological matter. It's all going to have to regroup. You're going to have nothing but rats. Rats will survive. A few mice and rats are going to be picking off decaying flesh and surviving on cannibalism until they slowly evolved over billions and billions of years and that's why you want to live in New York or Washington dc or la because they asked to. Right. If that really hit one of those places, that would be too cheesy, you know, cheesy because that's what you would expect that you would expect it to do. That one even one that liked the one in Nevada where you can go visit that crater. That crater was, you know that. That wasn't that long ago. That was, you know, I think it was like $100,000 or 80,000 years ago when that fucking thing Hitman, it probably killed everything was in miles and miles, you know, it's a half a mile long.

Speaker 3:          01:38:22       The crater I think are a mile. Maybe what? Whatever the fuck it is. I mean that thing must have killed so many fucking people are so many things. Whatever was near it. And when you think about something like that, landing right in the middle of La, like right in the middle of downtown, that's crazy. Fuck. Just a half a mile wide crater, right? We're downtown. La used to be. Nothing's there. Boom. Just a bowl, a bowl and everything out. We're all dead. We're dead right out here for sure. We're dead 30 miles away, whatever it is, hundreds of miles away. You're probably dead people on Pasadena dead. People out in Pittsfield dead, dead, dead. You're dead. You're too far away. I mean, you can't get too far away. I mean you probably, even San Francisco people would be dead. Four hundred miles. I'd probably be dead and this happens all the time.

Speaker 3:          01:39:06       It happens all the time. The saddest thing was yesterday, my wife said to me, Joe, something happened. It would take me three hours to go from work. Wow. Fourteen miles. It's true. Take you forever. For her to say that to me. I was like, she had to think about shit like that. Are you thinking too hard to bring a pair of roller? And the problem is three hours. If she gets off work at six, then you're dealing with creepy shit at night. You know, you're walking home at night and who knows what the fuck is happening by the time these three hours are up or total chaos has said. And I asked him, what would you do? Would you walk on? And she goes, I would just stay right on the fucking highway or something. I don't know. These concerns didn't even enter into people's heads just weeks ago to just this fucking earthquake just weeks ago, weeks ago.

Speaker 3:          01:39:48       People were like, immune to it all, you know. Now it's like slowly letting us know it's on its way. Stupid. Yeah. It was uh, it was in a whatever that magic club, the other, you know, wherever it comes in my. Yeah, and just go into her Mosa was kind of like, kind of weird because he would just, I just got done watching all this Japan shit and then being by the ocean just kinda like, yeah, that's the stuff people died in California, Bro. People who died in the tsunami, they get sucked into the water. There's a bunch. There was a photographer that was taking pictures in front of a crowd of people and you just got sucked in northern California, sucked right off the beach, man. Wow. It fucked up and they just stare off screaming for him. This guy's just drowned sea. They pull it out, you know?

Speaker 3:          01:40:29       I mean when, when that tide comes in, you know, I mean, you just see some of those waves. It's been incredible. The deal. A lot of damage. And Marina del Rey read a lot of damage in docs. Yeah, I mean the tide went really high. Fidelity it, especially in northern California. Apparently that's where it really hit. But this support fuck was taking pictures in front of a bunch of people last week, supposedly. Good for the earthquake. A bunch of fish would redondo. I read something to still stinks over there, man. Still stakes. They said that May. Most of stock, man. Most of stuck. Really? Yeah. Fish apocalypse man. It's not like worms smelling like really old dead ship because there was a million dead fish. Do you think it had something to do with your grade? I don't know what the fuck it had to do with. Well, they said that they died because of the lack of oxygen and then they said that there's some sort of a toxin in the water.

Speaker 3:          01:41:16       So they. They were poisoned by something so they don't know exactly. They don't get the full results of what happened. But what's really spooky is the same thing is happening in Mexico in Acapulco. There's photos of all these fish that are on the surface of the water. It's the same type of fish, so sardines and some macro and there's millions of them and they're on the surface of the fucking water and they can't figure out why. But people are driving up and boats and they're scooping up these fishing buckets and the fish can't go anywhere. They're literally stuck the surface of the water like it. They don't know what they're trying to do if there's no oxygen to trying to like snap at the air to get oxygen into their body. Somehow no one knows exactly why they're at the surface of the water. It's a total mystery, but people are just scooping them up in buckets.

Speaker 3:          01:41:55       So this is basically sort of similar to what happened in Redondo. Something is happening to giant schools of fish and they don't know why. And they're thinking that, you know, in Redondo, like I said, they think some, some sort of a poison, but they don't have any idea why or what or probably some kind of weird terrorist act she imagined it was some crazy Christian motherfucker. One of these May 21st assholes, all employees in the water just to get their attention by some retard held, chilled them. The Lord is very mysterious, crazy assholes. This, these billboards all over town are so nuts. Have you seen these, Joey, that God has come and May 21st you mother wife, May 21st. I can't figure out why May 21st knows the idea behind that is so ridiculous. The idea behind the first of all that you could predict the fucking day, you know, come on and then the days in, what is it in the Bible?

Speaker 3:          01:42:43       Is that where you getting this day from? I've never heard that before. And not only that, even if it wasn't the Bible, the Bible is a translation of ancient Hebrew, which nobody really, totally understands ancient Hebrew. To this day they don't know all the words and the letters double his numbers. You know, like the, there's no numbers in Hebrew. So the letter a is also the number one. So when you translate that Shit, the Latin and you translate it to the Greek and then to English, who knows what the fuck it really said in the first part, you're not going to get made 21st out of it. Dude. You know? And even if it did, you really think they were right. I mean you really believe it all is. It, no. Is it a religious thing at all or is it a vision? I mean, he's just going to be a crackpot, but this motherfucker's buying billboards everywhere.

Speaker 3:          01:43:24       You know? He's buying billboards everywhere and got financing. Yeah. I get this money. There's a lot of money and retards do retards were everywhere and they want to believe. I mean, look, we're friends with Alex. all right. Alex Jones is a nice guy. I like Alex a lot, but there's a lot of people that follow Alex that might as well be following this guy. You know what I'm saying? I mean they just, they just pick, pick something to get obsessed with, whether it's a the Mayan calendar in 2012 or it's fucking the Jesus apocalypse more. Whether it's Ufo shows. It's all the same mentality to get these motherfuckers obsessed with these things. But what got you off the Mayan County? Well, it was never on it. I'm not attached or married. I try not to be at least to almost everything that I think everything that I believe about everything I, I, I'm open to re-interpretation at all times.

Speaker 3:          01:44:09       And the thing about the Mayan calendar is I think with the mind mines did, and I got this mostly from going to teach an Eatsa and talking to this guy was a professor who was our guide who was really an interesting guy and we talked to this guy for hours. He gave us a tour for like five hours. And he was like, he loved. Yeah. And He loved the fact that I knew so much about about the mind civilization. So he was an individual guy, like you hire him, you know, for the, for the tour. So he was like really into it because the guy loved the culture man. He was really obsessed with it and obsessed with the fact that there's this incredible society that basically just vanished. I mean these guys created some incredible works of, of, of architecture, these incredible designs, incredibly intricate calendars and really psychedelic languages of images and shit like that.

Speaker 3:          01:44:56       I mean they're, they're the way they, they formed sentences and thought it was very fascinating stuff. And then on top of that there was all this evidence of a massive deterioration of their society. Like it's human sacrifice and you know, and that kind of shit. Like what all, what caused all this man, it's all fucking fascinating thing. But I was never, I never believed that they had it wired, that they knew that December 20, first 2012, the end of the cycle, they don't even think that it's the end of the world. And knowing the Mayan calendar calendars that say the world ends December 21st, what it is is the end of the long count and it's just another sequence of events. It's like, it shows in a news cycle what that means. Who knows? It could be a new consciousness, it could be a, uh, an astrological or an astronomical cycle where you know, something in the cosmos aligns in a different way.

Speaker 3:          01:45:39       I mean, we know when the moon is closer to us or they're moving further away, it reacts to changes the tides. It does things, you know, if there's some other astronomical body, that cosmic body that when it lines up with us, it's gravity affects us in a certain way. And it changes some certain things about people or some new understanding or new appreciation or some new sort of a natural disaster that makes us sort of rethink the way we communicate with, whether it's with cell towers or whether it's with satellites, the satellites get burned out. So we have to figure out a way to reinvent the whole idea of mass communication. But now that's all possible. That could be the reasons why these things, while what's thought of that. A new age is coming, you know, into the mayans predicted it because they predicted there would be a new atmosphere in earth.

Speaker 3:          01:46:20       There would be, maybe it's, you know, something as simple as the polar ice cap shift and it causes all sorts of fucking havoc and chaos. It could be solar storms, it could easily be that man, there's a lot of predicted solar storms activity in 2012, you know, they think they could get unprecedented levels of, uh, of, of, of gamma bursts. And they've had those before solar storms, like way, way in the past where we didn't have like all these satellites and shit. You know, there was, I believe it was a fucking thing as the 19 fifties, I think it was, whether it was a giant solar storm like on the one the highest one's ever measured and they were saying that if that's all restoring happened to us today, we literally would knock out communication. It would be fucked. We would probably still have the internet and a lot of areas, but like a lot of our power grid would be fucked.

Speaker 3:          01:47:07       A lot of our satellites would be fucked. You know, solar storms are really unpredictable and when they happen, man, that really big ones really big ones could toast this whole society and maybe that's what happens in 2012 and maybe nothing happens. So fucking bullshit. I mean the math, David said that the math might even be wrong. It might even 60 days off. You know, we're going to have a good time, bro. We're going to be there in New York City and then we're going to be in New Jersey for the fucking championship over the world. Jonny bones, Jones fights more resio shogun. Who are. This is the opportunity, bro. I'll see you in the city. Yeah, I'm staying in the city. I'm staying in the city. I'm going out there. Yeah. The last time I stayed in New York I got tired of hearing sirens all throughout the middle of the night.

Speaker 3:          01:47:55       All night there were sirens. I was like, okay, I don't need to stay here. I'll just drive here the next day. So that's my new card. Fuck yeah, that was a favorite for that motherfuckers. Definitely. Justin Bieber. What are you talking about? Just like Justin bieber derive favor the same fucking person. I think he thinks the motherfuckers once every other week. That's a great fight. There's crumpled. Great fights of his favor is a fascinating dude. I really liked talking to him, man. I did an interview with him and one of the things he talked about is very interesting. He's a very inspirational guy, you know, he's like one of those dudes that gets up in the morning and he has like a list of like things that he has written on the wall. These are my goals. I'm going to be world champion by the end of 2011. I'm going to meet the girl of my dreams, have you know, three kids and like he has all this shit like on his wall.

Speaker 3:          01:48:42       I keys like the secret. Yeah. And when he's, well he's big into setting goals and working hard and accomplishing things. Like he's Kinda a gang of different things going on at once. He owns like three different houses and they, all the fighters live in these houses. They have on a block. They all live together and they get together and cook healthy meals and hanging out together. He imagined it accidentally robbing that place. Yeah. And Talking Shit because the guy who meets you at the door is only five foot four. Next thing you know, you're flying through the air and landed on your head. Yeah. This, this is an awesome card man. John Jones versus Shogun Hua is some fascinating shit man. Because Shogun is the oldest Acen and Shogun used to be John Jones. He was the 23 year old guy when he won the middleweight Grand Prix.

Speaker 3:          01:49:29       Shogun was these young guy that was fucking everybody up, you know, but he had a lot more competition and had a lot of struggles, you know, he had heard Cheerio Nogueira that was a struggle, you know, he had some tough fights. He fought, you know, if it had some, some real good competition over there. He had some battles, you know, and they also had some fucking destructing winds to mass shogun go out and fuck people up. Like, uh, like when I'm a rampage was injured when they, when they fought rampage came into the fight with uh, with a hurt rib. Shouldn't never took the fight in the first place. Well, I guess he just needed the money and Shogun just fucking took it to them. Man. Shogun is up fucking killer. Everybody doesn't have to. Yeah. Shoguns a killer. He's a killer and he's been around a long time and he's not going to get rattled.

Speaker 3:          01:50:11       And you know, and I'm not saying that Jon Jones is because I think Jon Jones is the fucking truth. I think he's the real deal dude. And I think he's a super athlete. I think there's certain dudes that just can do things that you can't do, you know, and physically you know, and when you combine it with intelligence, which he has and work ethic, which he has all the, doing all the right things, treating people the right way. Good Karma. I mean, yeah, he says some things sometimes and I'm sure he'll regret, but he's 23 years old, you know, it's hard to not be confident. Fear of a black planet discussed this already. You said this a long time ago. They may be super slaves. They thought they were going to get the bags, bang out of your buck. That's super slave league is called yet motherfuck NFL and now they're taking everything from us because they'll be taking.

Speaker 3:          01:50:53       Look at film Mr Davis. I didn't know he was fighting. I told him, you know Garrett, Mr. Yeah, he's fighting. Oh yeah. They're both Antonio. Antonio Hijirida and attorney Rodrigo. But a Tara. Tara, the heavyweight guy. And Rodrigo, excuse me. Yeah, her Jericho is the light heavyweight guy. So who was fighting the light? Heavyweight. Okay. So he's got. He's still a bad motherfucker that guys submitted Dan Henderson, you know, he uh, he beat over him, I believe. I'm pretty sure. And Him and him and Ninja or him in Shogun had a fucking war. They had a killer. Warren Pride. Yeah man. He's a, he's a bad motherfucker. He's getting real good. Hands to Nigeria does. That's a great fight. But John Jones, man, what I said about John Johnson, I always say this is when he throws people around, it doesn't look like like a normal person doing it. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3:          01:51:39       Like when you watch a normal strong dude that just horse somebody around, like Matt Hamill when Matt Hamill horses somebody around, he looks like here's this big ass tufts strong motherfucker and he's going to grab a hold unit is going to slam you on your ass. And it just looks like it's supposed to be happening that way. When John Jones does it, it looks like some fucking insect, some insect that can just pick up a log. You know, there's something about how easy he does it. It just doesn't look right. It doesn't look fair. You know what I'm saying, like you watch like a beetle move or an aunt move like a something like ants can pick up some big ass shit and move it around like it's nothing. It doesn't even shift their balance. That's what it looks like with John Jones. He's just like, he's got like Arachnid power or something.

Speaker 3:          01:52:21       He's fucking Spiderman. He launches dudes. You know like when, when he gets that double over hooks and throws guys through the air, who the fuck is doing that? Who the fuck is doing that? A kick. You know how some people catch your kick off call and spun around with an l but hope Stephan Bonner, he also taught deaf and bond over the fucking over his heels. Head over his heels, his heels up in the air. Who the fuck does that to? Stephan? Bonner and Stephen Bar has been around forever. Forever. Because to show you how tough Stephan Bonner is. By the way, look, Jon Jones stops everybody and then stop bar. You know he gave him a beating. But Bonner's, that guy's an assassin. He's tough shit. This is an interesting fight, man. Very interesting. Mark Wahlberg, shoguns killer, Bro. You know, I wished Miller had a full training camp.

Speaker 3:          01:53:06       You know, it's a tough fight. Nate Marquardt a beast, you know, in Miller's toughest fucking and those Miller boys, man, they'll take a fight. You can call them 20 minutes before the fight starts and they'll, they'll change their shoes. That was that middle of training for a fight. Yeah. Well he's always training. Those guys are real. They're real conscientious. Miller. And they know that you always have to be ready because anything can happen. I don't know. It was great. Mark was a fighter and he's great with these guys, but I don't know. Now this motherfucker's got. This is Dan. This is to New Jersey Bitch. Yeah. Got To go with the Jersey. It's like the, it's like the cowboys go with the 49 Avila one. What do you think about cro? Cop fighting still. Does that freak you out? He's uh, he's, he's fighting. Brendan Schaub the kid who lost two big country in the ultimate fighter.

Speaker 3:          01:53:48       I think that Brendan sharp is improving so bad mother fucker. And I think, uh, I think that cro cop and just try to finish up his contract. I don't think so. But why? I mean, when the guy keeps getting knocked out like that, I mean, I wonder what. I wonder if he needs money. Do you think it needs money or you. It's like an ego thing. He's not willing to be, you know, I don't know, man. This is his last fight. I don't know. I hope I was hoping that he was going to walk away after the Pat Barry fight. That was a good fight. You got a nice victory, you know? But then he fights frank Mir and gets knocked down and it just doesn't look right. You know, you know, like seeing a, a hero. I would hope the fucking guy could pull it back together.

Speaker 3:          01:54:24       He will look. The people don't know that Alistair overeem was stopped like nine times. He got, he got beat up by Bobby Hoffman. He got stopped by. I think he got no Verdugo, finished them for doom, submitted them. A bunch of guys have stopped him though, including being stopped in k one and being stopped. And kickboxing chocolate down stopped him guys. Guys beat him. Oh, a surge. A curtain off. Knocked him out. He stopped him. So easy to look at all those guys that beat allister. And now alister is a fucking destroyer. Like he bounced back fully. What he did is he started lifting weights and doing crazy power lifting and shit. He got a lot stronger, got super dedicated, really dedicated his whole life and 100 percent to training. And now he's like one of the most dangerous and scary guys on the claimant by July 18th.

Speaker 3:          01:55:11       So you can't say cro cop is done. He never say he's done. But man, it hurts me to watch him lose, you know, it hurts me to watch him be a shadow of who he was. So excited about him coming over to the UFC because I thought about the cro cop that fought Nogueira and pride. I thought about the cro cop that fought, you know, um, uh, over, um, which feed or his brother, uh, Alexander Elamela. Namco. He fuck that dude up high. Kicked Him Igor. He fucked him above chanting. I kicked him. He owed him. He was just jack and everybody back then, dude, his standup was fucking nasty, but by the time he came over to the UFC man, it wasn't quite the same. You know, we didn't quite have the motivation that he had back. There was something that was missing. It's almost like he achieved so much over there that it was like you went on a mad sprint.

Speaker 3:          01:55:56       Here's a good fucking fight on this card, man. Jim Miller and Komal shallow roots whole year. That's a good. That's a good fucking fight. Jim Miller is a beast dude. Especially after he submitted that kid. I'm Charlie. I'm fucking. What is his name? Oliveira Charles. That, that really good Jujitsu kid with the good Moitai. This small kid. But Miller grabbed a hold of him, got him in a fucking nasty leg lock. Quick. Really surprised that kid when he tapped down, you know, and Miller's tap. Duane Ludwig off his back. He's a fucking dropped. Ludwig too. Before that. Which is, you know, Ludwig's is sick. Kickboxer says Komal shallow roots. Dude's a bad motherfucker to really tough strong dude. This Iranian, I believe he's Iranian and uh, he's a wrestler, he's got a wrestling base, but like a powerful punch and he comes forward. So that's a good fucking scrap right there.

Speaker 3:          01:56:41       We got Mike power were caught on Beta. Fuck. Yeah, that's going to be real good to, you know, Mike Powell is really fucking turning that around. My piles. Tricky is fuck. He's tricky and he's got a real good guard dude. Ever. We got to be careful about that guy when he's on his back. Man. And Kurt. Bella Green glace and t there's a lot of good fights in this car. Yeah, it was a lot of fucking good fights and this car's slugfest going to be great. Yeah. And uh, what the fuck is that dude's name? Barboza. He's fighting to Edson Barboza. That kid's a fucking beast. That kid's a beast, man. He's fighting Anthony Anthony. Andrew Cohen is a bad ass stryker from the WEC. One of those guys. Last couple of fights, but still it's fucking real dangerous kid. But this barboza is a fucking assassin. He's a bad ass striker due to bad ass.

Speaker 3:          01:57:31       Try. Well, I think the car, the paper view card is going to be an hour early this week. So in the east coast, if it used to be on at 9:00, it's now going to be on at 8:00. It's going to start a day or it's going to start out. It's going to start instead of nine. It's going to start it instead of tenants. Gonna start at nine. Six, okay. Yeah. Six here. So, um, so that's the deal. I get off the plane at 4:45. I go to my hotel, take a shower like a shoot right back after the exam. We're going to have some fucking fun next weekend. Uh, I am in Portland. No, where am I? Seattle. Seattle. At the Moore Theater. Yeah. And there's still a few tickets left, but not much. So that is a, that's on Friday. It's, it'll probably sell out that day.

Speaker 3:          01:58:15       So if you want and don't snooze bitches and then following week joey will be with me at helium in Portland. Joe, he can go to Portland. Oregon is. If Oregon is still there, will be there too. Which is a scary, scary fucking consideration. So we'll see you there at the end of the month. And Joey this weekend or this Tuesday will be at New York City and then Thursday through Saturday at comedy club in Webster. Motherfucking New York. Come on down. Buffalo, Syracuse, Rochester. And I'll see you fucking animals in New York City at 9:00. Ready to rock. And this is what st one, 47 bleecker street. One 47 bleecker street. Okay. So now is a Tuesday, Tuesday the 22nd and then you're going to be in Rochester that weekend. The following weekend where you were in Portland, Oregon. Bam. Bitches, bitches. That's it. And we'll see you guys next Tuesday. We'll have another podcast. I don't know who's going to be honest because we're unorganized as fuck and that's how we roll a please follow red band because he's very, very upset that he doesn't have very many followers on twitter.

Speaker 3:          01:59:18       Listen to the new new podcast with Jaden. Jaden coal is awesome. Your new podcast that we're saying, you're telling me are the people that I don't have time for at the time on airplanes. And you got damn podcast. Listen to this girl with her. Okay. You go find them. I'd probably want. I bet. I bet I won't be red band tonight tonight. Sounds comedy club sales kind of sold out. You coming in today? No, I'm leaving for Anaheim. Come on dog. I can never come on dog baby. On the way back on the way back dog. Come on. Go on after me, man. We gotta we gotTa Goddamn party at that place. Thank you to the flashlight. If you go to tag it, the flashlight. If you go to Joe Rogan.net and click the link for the fleshlight. Put in the code name Rogan and you get 15 percent off. A Red Band is on twitter. Red, b a n and Joey Diaz is mad flavor. One word. Mad Flavor. Have you been with facebook? Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Gas is bad for your health.