EF6GrPaiOlk.txt

Speaker 1:          00:00:00       According to server right now, lots to look at in this room to lots of skulls and things we can. This is a, a video that someone did with Greg Giraldo, Drag Greg Giraldo doing standup and ranting while they played music in the back

Speaker 2:          00:00:21       ground for those you don't know, that didn't know a great draw. The overdosed. And uh, today he died. Okay. Okay. Okay. So if you didn't know Greg Giraldo, very funny, very smart, very clever. Standup comedian, uh, passed away and they're there talking about it on the news today. So I guess it's official. Sucks. Sucks. What can you say? He's a very nice guy. I didn't know him that well. I knew who I was on news radio. He was on a show, um, I forget the name of it, but his set was right down the street from mindset. So I hung out with them, you know, quite a few times. Super Friendly, very nice guy. Very smart. You know, he just, uh, I don't know what happened. I know he had had some substance things in the past, but a thought, I don't know. Who knows? I don't know if this was an accident, if you know, if he just was partying, I don't know,

Speaker 3:          00:05:37       cm on the roast, the Hasselhoff. I know a lot of people noted something about him that seemed different than normal, but when they say it seemed very coked up coked up the quote unquote style wise. But I, you know, I, I didn't, I wouldn't say that cancer that I looked coked up and I've never done cocaine. Exactly. People always say Rogan get a lay off

Speaker 1:          00:05:58       the coke zero coke dot. I've never even done coke once. I've never done coke. And Tom Green is with us. Ladies and gentlemen, if you don't know, and I'd never done sound of this man's voice to my right. Yeah, this is, this is this guy to be here. But uh, but it was nice to be able to listen to some of his comedy today on this. Yeah. Yeah. It's mostly a sad occasion. He has stuff. He was a good dude. He was awesome on roasts, on rose who would destroy guys just perfectly where there was nothing they could do. The leary did that to him on tough crowd. Yeah. That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen on video. And he wasn't even an asshole about it. He could have been way more of an asshole about it. He was actually, he did it with a lot of reserve, you know, he was a very nice guy.

Speaker 1:          00:06:43       It's been a tough year for. Could Robert Schimmel passed away as well and. Yeah. No, I, I just, uh, you know, can I change the topic now because I'm getting upset if you get me upset. I have to say our sponsor were sponsored by fleshlight. Yes. Yeah, I know. It's A. First of all, this is cool to be here. It's exciting to be here. Well, the reason for having me up to the show. Thank you for being our mascot. If it wasn't for you, I would've never even thought to have done this. And I went over to your house when you have me over your house for your show. And he has. This is what we're doing here. We have like a couch rest with microphones. We have a desk that I bought at z Gallerie. Yeah, this is awesome. It's fucking as low rent as you can get this cool logic tech, webcam.

Speaker 1:          00:07:27       But Tom has like a serious, serious setup at his place. His place is. Don't be showing everybody our secrets, man. But this is, this is a whole different system you guys have here, which is cool though. It's cool to watch and see. I'm seeing how you're broadcasting here. Our audio is terrible for the longest time, so we had to tighten it up. So uh, people complained and we listened. So we went out and bought all this fucking crazy equipment and we've got it down. Now we have new microphones, but just try them yesterday. Oh, these are new microphones. Is that we went to mix up the mix use for sure. Fifty eight. I don't remember the exact. It's silver or something? Sure, sure, sure. Make sure smp, look that up on Google. Everybody. We are now on some audio technica microphones and seem to be much better on my show.

Speaker 1:          00:08:16       I don't have the headphones because we were trying to make it like it's not a radio show. This is like a radio show. I did a radio show in college at Ottawa University at ch. You owe 89 point one FM. Look that up. It's just an element to the conversation. When you hear each other's voice and hear your voice right there in your ear, it's like you're. You're, you're sure secret is definitely the double cassette player that we used to though. What's that? Doubled our secrets are tech secrets of how we run this laser disc players and devil crap they got running. They're running youtube videos off on a track and a battery operated only. You don't want any interference.

Speaker 3:          00:08:56       It's, it's very, um, what's the word? When something's all helter skelter, we're a gorilla smorgasbord of wires to ridiculous pile of shit together. No previous knowledge. You could see the evolution of the podcast like, like Amoebas becoming fish and you can watch the whole thing. We owe it all to Amazon, to Amazon.com one click as a motherfucker. You know, what do you need? We need one of these. Bam, but this is fun. Like I didn't, I didn't, I didn't in college, I did my radio show right in it with a phone in show and we'd go, go. I'd go there every Friday night at midnight. It was called the midnight caller. I did the show for six years. Uh, not, not even when I was in high school. And then after, when I was in community college, I took a television broadcasting at Algonquin college in Ottawa, Canada, named after the Algonquin Indians.

Speaker 3:          00:09:45       Now I'm, I've always been curious about television broadcasting. When you take a course like that, what do they have you do? Do you pretend to be like a newscaster or. It was mostly, it's mostly technical, like it wasn't on camera. There was one on camera course, but it was mostly like editing, video editing, lighting, photography, how to work a video camera, how to set all your technical stuff. And we had, we had, we had one broadcast news writing course and we had, uh, some single camera video production and film type courses, but it was mostly tech. Well, mostly technical. It must be hard as fuck to keep up. Like if you, if you learn how to video edit from a few years ago, you know, graduated a few years ago now you go to today we were learning how to do it on three quarter inch video cassette. The video tapes are this big.

Speaker 3:          00:10:36       You put them in this job and it's like, you know, come to a b roll too to videotapes. Then it moved. Then we got high eight. This was before computers editing, computer editing. You know there was, they had abbots and stuff, but not at the school. They were too expensive at that point. I edited it ever paintbrush. Paintbrush. Oh yeah. Starting off the paint brush. It's really. Movies on paintbrush is unbelievable. What you can do now, right? That's what's so exciting. A fucking iphone. That's the most incredible thing. You can produce something attached. Music to it. Edit it all on your phone or your fucking phone man. D, it's amazing. It's like weird. We're in strange, strange times. Know I'm getting the new iphone within the next couple days just because I am my friend. Just got it and I'm jealous. Yeah. It's an envious thing. That's. So that's the motherfucker have device.

Speaker 3:          00:11:22       He picks it up. He's shooting. Hi def video. You know you can talk. You can touch screen. Oh you have when you touch the screen and you've got one already to non Brian and are super. Do you have one too? I have the old oldest iphone. My iphone is the old one. Oh, you got it. He has a crank on it. Man. That thing runs on wood loan from your resolutions to 60 photos are insane. Unbelievable. Yeah. It's just amazing that we've got a device like that. You know? I've got no doubt that is some serious star trek shale. It slowly crept up on us from the Motorola Razor to a Microsoft office wants and then when it gets this iphone, I mean that is a fucking home computer. I can no longer be proud of this. This way. I used to feel about this. Well it still allows some old long as you keep the case on a piece.

Speaker 3:          00:12:14       A lot of people swear on the show. Yeah. He can swim. Some old fucker says some old piece of shit is what this is. That's a sad thing about the analogy and that's only a few months old, right? This is two years old. Soundboards. Have you played these soundboards? No. Oh, you know, I did. I did. The imt pain. Yes. Download. I enjoy that. I enjoy doing the imt pain APP. We're talking obscure iphone apps. Yeah, that's a good one. It's an auto tune. So you've always some from your time in broadcasting school to, to now you've always been really involved in the technology of the, behind the scenes stuff. You've always, you're not kind of figured I was when I was, I was in high school and I thought it'd be fun to do a TV show someday, is basically what I thought. I was watching David Letterman at night, you know, and I was thinking, man, that would be the most fun thing to ever do.

Speaker 3:          00:13:06       I was thinking, you know, and little did I know, but that it's a lot of fun doing this stuff. But the thing is, as you know, sometimes sometimes not, but you know, the thing is, is, uh, you know, so you know, no one's ever going to let me do a show. I'm going to have to go do a show at the public access station, will make her own show, you know, we went, I went to school and learned how to make the videos, went to the public access station, started the show, lasted for seven years when you were very popular because of your public access show. That's what got you started off. You're also rap star to them. That's basically what got picked up by MTV was the public access show. And it had a Canadian rap group. Yeah. That was before the public access, right.

Speaker 3:          00:13:47       That was one of. Okay. Wrapping people. They see this man and he's very white and he has a beard and he's very. I'm from Ottawa, Ottawa living. Very polite. No, no. He's a bad ass rapper. Yeah. Tom Green wrap his fucking ass was listening to your shit today, man. You have anything on youtube that you can throw it right here? Let me hear it. Let me hear a Tom Green grass. I'd love rap music, man. Yeah. I take shit for it. I make beats and I have. I've also see that's the other thing. Before I started doing the video editing and wanted to do that, I make beats at home. So I had like my own little Atari computer hooked up to a, a Chi sampler and a keyboard and camera with you playing it right now. Oh, this is, this is a, you're a, you're playing something. It actually, it's, it's Kinda funny when you play music because we recorded the song, you know, 20, 22 years ago or something like that.

Speaker 3:          00:14:40       And we were kids, teenagers, teenagers. And this is us walking around downtown. What is you tell me what it to you. I'm the one in the red jacket and I made the music, which is essentially a sample and you're the one who wants to call it, but you miss it. Give me a. that's my friend Greg. Greg Campbell. And uh, and we uh, guys are from Ottawa, from Ottawa. And uh, so it was fun. We got, we actually got a record deal when we were in high school and the video, the song and the video was playing on tv and everything. It was a very exciting time, uh, for two young rappers from Ottawa. A good. This video will won the 1992, a much music video award. Cmv a award you performed live on the, uh, on the CMV va awards. And I covered myself with a shaving cream on for no reason and got up in the lens of the camera, covered myself in shaving cream. So we weren't like the sort of hard core auto tune this yet. Have you tried to like that's rapping?

Speaker 3:          00:15:58       Walking through the grocery store. I love public enemy, but this is, this is old though. Getting here. My new, my new shit. I can we get some new shit? I Dunno. Probably floating around. I don't know. This is, this isn't the one to look at it. This is the one to look at it. This is really good. Ben. I've had, I've had a lot of fun, surprising rappers that have come on my web shop. Actually, that's a funny clip you could show. Oh, well you, and maybe you can go look at it on Youtube, go to this place because he starts cracking up

Speaker 4:          00:16:34       in sort of a funny moment, you know, where he's uh, and uh, you know, what? Did you initially want to be a rapper before you became a comedian? No, not really. No. I was like, I was in high school and uh, I thought it was a, it was a fun thing to do on stage at the assemblies was, was, you know, you had to, you know, the data band battle of the bands nitrate, it was an excuse to get up on stage. So we made this rap group. I liked listening to it, you know, I was listening to like, you know, nobody knew what rap music was in my high school. Everyone was listening to mainstream music. I was listening to boogie down productions, Nwa, public enemy, you know, which was not tribe called quest. These groups weren't really mainstream yet in, on the radio in Canada and in the eighties and nineties.

Speaker 4:          00:17:21       But uh, but yeah, so, but you know what I was thinking about this the other day, rap music back then is kind of like, it kind of provided what the Internet provides now, which is a glimpse into other parts of the world, other places, you know, here, here it was, we were in Canada and we're listening to these songs coming out in New York, coming out. You'll boogie down productions of the South Bronx and we're listening to them telling all these tales of life on the streets in the South Bronx and you're listening to this, you're going on a cassette, you know, and you're listening to in your walkman

Speaker 1:          00:17:50       on the way to school and no criminal minded the record and you're like, Oh man, listen to these stories, you know. And so that's A. Yeah, I was thinking about that driving over here today. It's Kinda, it's, it's kind of sad because in a way that might be something that disappears from music now, you know, because of the Internet, you know, maybe that's going to screw up music. Let's not be negative as well because we don't have to go to music now to get those kinds of, you know, store. I guess we would listen to them on the Internet. I think that anything good is going to stick around. There's not going to be anything that's awesome that's going to go away. You know, everybody's like, oh, this is going to be the death of music. How can anything be the death of music when everybody loves music.

Speaker 1:          00:18:24       That's ridiculous. It's like he'll be a desk of comedy. I guess I just sort of more and more curious to see how it will affect it or how it'll evolve. It'll be good. It'll be good. Well, now there's so many more places that people will want to make music and just distribute their music to have access. It's perfect. It just us, we can do this. The fact that we can do this and just broadcast talking over the Internet. This is just. You can. You can become famous from bands. That little kid, the one that's saying that covered the one in l one the l and gave a record deal. That was brilliant. Dude, that was like some that gave me goosebumps. I listened to that kid saying it gave me goosebumps. I mean my whole family listen to it. I was like, this is incredible.

Speaker 1:          00:19:03       It's so fucking talented and he's in a. he's in a high school. Like not even was it even high school? No. Middle School. And what was cool about the video was it was, it was all girls listening in the background. You could see the girls were into it. They were crushing, crushing on him. That was cool. Couldn't help themselves. They were like, they're a little moistening while they're sitting up there like 13. It was, it was interesting. This one girl was going, they couldn't believe it, you know, that's sort of the that we have to play play that man. Find that shit and that sort of. We, we're not gonna play the whole thing for people who does this. The fucking music show. Yeah. You know what? Fuck ups the go find it in high school though to get up on stage. Wasn't an ellen say something or do something that everybody in the entire school know staring at your leg and Michael J. Fox in the back of the future playing the guitar on the stage like you're from outer space or something.

Speaker 1:          00:19:53       Weird pressure that is for children to want to stand out like that. Like that's got to be so strange for kids. I don't remember the feeling myself, but if you wanted to be some sort of an act or something and you were 10 and you were in school and you saw some girl that was on a show and she was 10 and you're like, what the fuck? How come I can't be on that? Yeah, exactly. It's a terrible way to be raising kids, thinking about getting the most attention possible for almost nothing, like instantaneously become famous. So everything that your parents, you know, all the character that gets developed from hard work. That's all nonsense. I made it already banged. Shut up 14 and made it. Yeah. They put too much pressure on people. Look at Lindsay Lohan, especially in this day and age now where yeah, you're seeing it.

Speaker 1:          00:20:33       It's in your face all the time and oh man, you could swear dude all the fucking time and shoving down their throats. Okay. Shrill. We're shoving in. The strangest thing about Hollywood high was tricking the very people that make it, you know, there's the grand conspiracy theory is that like, man, you know, the Hollywood is trying to condition us to be like, like subservient to our government man and be patriotic, but no, Hollywood is giving you what you want to see. Holly was given you what you want to see and they're doing what they like to. They're, they're making the kind of stupid shit that they like to watch. You know, it's like the people that are creating it or just as much of a victim of the conditioning as the people that they're selling it to. People don't realize that they think it's some grand scheme.

Speaker 1:          00:21:19       No supply and demand. Yeah. People want to see a sex tapes and then see the people go do shows and watch their lives and sort of see everything and know everything. Right. Do You Watch Jersey shore? I, I've seen it. I've only seen him once, but I, I enjoyed it a lot. I found it. I found it very. Uh, I laughed a lot watching the show. I can see why people watch. Those guys are pretty funny too. Right? Is that, that's, that's. I've only seen it once ever hamming it up to the camera there having a good time. You're watching people, you know, you're being voyeuristic right into a completely different world. Like I'm so stuck with the hills though and everything like that. I don't buy the Jersey shore. Like, I almost think everything's fake now. Typically it's all set up, but I don't care.

Speaker 1:          00:22:02       It's encouraging bad behavior. There's still, even if it's fake, it's like these people like wow, you, you watch it. It's like watching a national geographic special on some fucking tribe. Did they found the jungle seemed like humans, but it's pretty funny man. And all they're trying to do is get the dicks. It's really kind of funny because it's real. It's real. I mean that really is what that guy's doing is just trying to fucking get it every night. Different girls all over the place. He's showing you his abs and he's going to clubs at girls are going, I mean, it's working, it's working. He's pulling it off and it's working. I think the thing that's bizarre about all the reality TV, those not to overanalyze it. I guess maybe I, maybe I'd be overanalyzing and at that point, but we're talking about my broadcast and course they taught us about, you know, documentation and making documentary.

Speaker 1:          00:22:46       We had a documentary film of course, and they talk about when you put a camera on something, right, it changes what you're filming, right? So you can never really make a true documentary of anything because as soon as you put the camera on it, it's going to change what's going on. Like in this case, you put the camera on all these kids in Jersey shore, right. And then are like, okay, we gotta go crazy for the camera. So they go for getting in fights or true. So then it's going to. And then people are gonna Watch that and it's gonna get worse and worse than that, people are gonna have to get more fights. People going to start, you know we're going to snuff film television. I don't think we'll get to that point. People don't want to see that kind of negative stuff. They want us, they want to be fascinated by orange will recall faces of death.

Speaker 1:          00:23:23       They want the want the couple to make out and then close the door. That's where they want it to stop. Yeah. It's all fascinating to me, man, because it's so easy to change behavior by just putting a camera on it. If that's really the case, if all you have to do is add a camera at the fact that other people are going to get to see it and it changes everything. No, they're still doing this. Even if they're faking it and acting it out. I don't care. You're still doing all this stuff on the show and to me, look, it's. It's like some sort of a national geographic special. It really is. I want to watch it more. Yeah. I can't help myself. I have to watch it more. So it really is. So yeah, they think they just get used to the camera and that's just the way they would be living life.

Speaker 1:          00:23:58       I grew up with people like that. Their chimps, chimps, chimps out there with gold chains, Onga and that is out there running around. Not giving a fuck about how the world works. That's exactly what it's like on the Jersey. There's. I knew dudes from back when I was in high school that did not give a fuck how the world works. Yeah. All they want to do. They worked, they did. They were electricians. They would work and then when they get off work they'd want to get fucked up and go get laid and they didn't know anything. They didn't know what was going on. They have no idea. Didn't give a fuck. Did pay attention. What am I gonna do with my fall fucking politics? Mcguire. I'm getting my Dick Suck. Come up. What am I going to do here? Oh my God. I do follow politics.

Speaker 1:          00:24:36       That shit. That shit ain't real. Yo. I said I really. I grew up with dudes like that. So when I see them putting cameras on people like that and go, oh no, no, they gave these savages a fucking camera. They gave them air time. Actually now I'm starting to. I'm a little mad at myself that I haven't watched it more. I think I've been withdrawing a little bit from a television need to last couple of years purposely not watching anything other than CNN actually is pretty well. I don't even watch American. I watched American idol because everybody watched it. I don't watch that. I don't watch that. I don't want no more. I used to like watching the people suck in the beginning, but then I get them. I'm like, what's wrong with you? You sick? Fuck. You want to watch people fail. Was like, oh wow.

Speaker 1:          00:25:17       How was that fun? You know, every now and then you see one. That's brilliant. Well guess what? I'll find that one on youtube. Okay. Tell me some amazing thing like that. Susan, what was her name? The one could really sang Susan. Susan Boyle, Boyle. Susan. Susan Boyle. Yeah. That was fascinating. I mean that was, that was really incredible. I mean, she had an amazing voice, but how many hours do I have to sit through of bullshit before I get to that and it was the and it was a perfect moment and it was just sort of the perfect, perfect thing that happened here yet. But the thing is I don't like to. I used to like the beginning when they were a fucking up to at the beginning and they making fools of themselves, but now it seems like the people coming in are coming and I can't watch that anymore.

Speaker 1:          00:25:55       Yeah. And another musical sucks on the radio now because it all comes out of that same thing. Right? It's all coming out of that same funnel. It's like, well we gotta we gotta do a really good Jefferson airplane impression, you know, you know, you think so. I can't stand them. The new music. There's always good stuff, man. You just got to find it. There's just so much. Well that's the problem. See, I don't know how to find it. I, I agree. I know there is good stuff because there is good stuff that I find in here sometimes, but just going through life now, like when you're walking and you're in an elevator or you're walking through a mall or you're listening to the radio or the mainstream stuff, it's all the shit. Yeah, that's true. You don't have to. I don't. I don't listen to college radio anymore. I don't know what the station is and so I don't know how to find the cool underground stuff. He'd do Pandora all. Yeah, I do. I do do that, but I don't know what to type into a search because people

Speaker 5:          00:26:44       know when you're. When you're, when you're in school and stuff and you're around people, but I mean I've met him in my living room. The loss of the DJ, the loss of the Dj, the Dj to me is one of the things I miss the most about the radio, about growing up and listening to the radio. I would listen to guys and listen to the shit that they like to listen to and you were cool guys and they would like. There was a, Charles Laquidara, was this guy who used to do the big mattress show on, I think it was WBCN BCRC cozy back in Boston and it was like this morning show where he would go on and it was a comedy show and they would fuck around, but he plays songs too, you know, and he played the shit that he wanted here. That's funny. I like that guy's point of view and that's the music he likes.

Speaker 5:          00:27:29       There's this guy in my field toe mark parenteau was the afternoon Dj and he was like a big supporter of comedy too. We always did like comedy competitions and shit and he would play the shit that he wanted to hear. I'm like, you got a sense of like, this cool guy likes this music. You know, it tells you, you know why he likes this song, what's so bad ass about it? Check it out. Bam. And he plays it. It's like you're having a show that's a show. That's a show. What they're doing now is just sticking all sorts of songs that they think they can get you to pay attention to together. And then, you know, they throw him in there, there's no one, there's no one personality behind it. It's not, there's no radio djs. The radio djs really have much of a choice in what they put on their voice.

Speaker 5:          00:28:11       You know, there's an art to being a true fan of the music and going out there and listening to different stuff and collecting your own, you know, your own favorites and saying, look, this cool shit that I got. That's what I meant. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm, it's right there. Because it's like now you listen to the radio. It's all been focus group tested out. This is this, this sounds like this, this is so and so from American idol, American idol. The sounds like American idol. This all sounds like a. and it all sounds the same to me. Brian and I have very nice sound like an old guy now. I sound like an old guy, right? Because I just turned nine years old. I just turned 39 and I got one like an old guy one year, but you know from 40.

Speaker 5:          00:28:45       And I'm starting to sound like my dad saying none of the music today is good to everybody. It was back when I was. Everybody says that, but there's good stuff. You just have to find it. It's just hard to do. Brian and I have very similar tastes and Brian is always fun to me. Cool Shit. Who's always fighting. He's like, he's a internet fiend, so he's always connecting. So I always look forward to it. He knew cool shit is fun man. There's a lot of it out there. It's just there's so much to sift through. So much data and slash or helps me the most and that, you know, just being at a club and hearing a really good dj and I'll hook up sam, Sam or whatever, and then I shit finds me some crashes and if you don't know, if you don't have that program on your phone, it's the most incredible thing. You wouldn't even believe it's real. You hold your phone up to a speaker. Oh, he plays the song and it tells you what the song is. And unless you buy it on your phone, sound snap. Actually let you a song. So He'd be like, I told that to edit and he's like, that's impossible. It's just trying to tell me about music chords, that and that and this. I'm like, I'm telling you, they do it. That's what it is.

Speaker 1:          00:29:43       It's just wave forms, you know, that's what it does. It takes the, takes the song, it makes it a wave form, like a picture, like a Jpeg, and it just puts it in a database. Analyze. Yeah, analyze it. And it's like matching fingerprints. It's actually pretty brilliant how it works and it's not that big of a deal. If we even get to know when the computers take over, uh, we even going to know we're not even going to know. No, they're going to take over. So Dave started with the Tia 81 I think. What are you doing today? It's real number. How would you like to play again, analyze it in seconds and tell you what the song is, listened to it, analyze it, break it down to a piece of data and then spit it back at you with options to purchase it all in seconds. And they can do it for, you know, practically every fucking song there is out there. I've never had a failing me wants to have you ever had a failing once. But it was also like a remix version. So it was other shit mixed up.

Speaker 4:          00:30:37       You hear a song, you like it, you want, you want to know what it is you have polled Shazamm up. It tells you what it is, downloads it and buys it

Speaker 1:          00:30:44       for you. You start asking it in your car seconds later. If your car's Bluetooth, Bam. It's planning your.

Speaker 4:          00:30:49       That's amazing. I want bumblebee song because it's like when I, when I was, when I was doing my wrap group back then, I was a teenager, he was, we were back then, it was all about sampling loops, right? So you'd find you'd hear loops of music, breaks of music. So we'd go into the radio station all the time. I was looking for a cool beat breaks and stuff. So you hear that you'd always hear stuff and you wouldn't know what to, you know what it was. Then you do that, you know, they don't. But, you know, let me ask you a question. Can I ask you a question? Okay. Because I've noticed you have a lot of Buddhas around the house, right? Yeah. It said. Okay. Sure, sure. Um, because I had a Buddha and uh, I've, I've, I really like them a lot. I had one at my house.

Speaker 4:          00:31:26       It was when I, when I, when I got my house, it was there already. I didn't get the Buddha. The Buddha was there already. It was a fountain, right? Because on a pole it was a big fountains, but the size of that poster there, big concrete fountain. And uh, I had uh, a meeting one day with a television executive at my house. Okay. And we went up on the roof of my house and we had a meeting, just a discussion, having a beer, talking about some ideas, television ideas. And we hear this enormous crash. We go down and the Buddha has just, for whatever reason the pole is on this metal pole smashed, it has fallen, it is smashed into a million pieces and gone into my swimming pool. And I'm looking at it and I'm just thinking, okay, apart from like, I really miss the thing. Is that a sign of.

Speaker 1:          00:32:20       No. Okay, good. No, it's not like swimming. There was a donald duck statute's still a little fall. And so it's just, there's no magical property to having the boot and it's just, it's just a thing, a nice thing to look. I am fascinated by ancient Asian artwork fascinated by Buddhists and tie Buddhas and the fact that they've looked that way for

Speaker 5:          00:32:40       hundreds and thousands of years and all these different people depict these things in the different artistic ways. And that the Buddha is a character of peace. You know, the, the idea of these Thai Buddhist to me means a lot to me. It give it's, it's, uh, a beautiful artistic representation of enlightenment and it's calming, too calming. I love their art work. I love Sheeva's. I love Hindu artwork. I love, um, I love a lot of Thai artwork, some of the most fascinating stuff. It's one of the coolest things about living in La is that you have access to all these importers. They import this really, um, a lot of this beautiful hand carved stuff from Thailand, which you guys ever have a mummy? Mummy, mummy and my house like a dead guy wrapped up. What'd you morbid man? It's like, why? You know, I mean I guess if you wanted to like have it in glass like in a room somewhere and shit too.

Speaker 5:          00:33:33       Probably so weird. So weird message you're sending. I just don't like the smell of embalming fluid. What if it's something that's always bothered me was like, if you ever heard of that self mummification mummification was a practice is and it's been done several times by these monks and one of the things they do is they eat nothing but a very, very lean foods. They eat like seeds and nuts and they go through rigorous exercise routines for like three years where they virtually stripped their body of all its fat and then they start drinking this, this crazy a tonic that's, it's like semi poisonous so it doesn't kill them but it fucks them up nice and slowly and it keeps maggots from growing on them. Get this. Then they climb into a sarcophagus when after they've done this for awhile, so their bodies like ready to go.

Speaker 5:          00:34:22       They climbing this sarcophagus and they close the lid on them and there's just an air hole and a bell, so like the guy in the Lotus position, that new movie with a. He stays in the Lotus position with the air hole in the bell and every day if he's alive he rings the bell and the day that he doesn't ring the Bell, they seal the coughing up and then he's in there for good and he's mummified. Why modification? Why do they do that now? Because they're fucking nuts. Where are these guys? Were they still doing this today? Yeah. People just legal ramifications for laws. Whose laws were. What were they doing? I believe it's in Tibet.

Speaker 5:          00:34:59       Should actually stop. This is a campaign to stop this crap. Brian, onto Google self memification. No, because I know that it's something that has been done. They have these mummies, man, and they've taken the lids off there. There sarcophagus and there in the Lotus position, man, they're fucking robes on and their mummies. It is the creepiest dedication to whatever it is that you're doing it for. Fuck. They're taking it to the next level, man. Total dedication. They're taking it. They're poisoning the maggots. Okay. How about that? They're. They're taking some shit that kills the maggots. Now, by the way, I'm reading this on the Internet. Who knows how much of this is true? I might be says it's a form of a suicide, so let me ask those suicide. It takes years, man. So there is a lot of stuff on the Internet that we read that is not true and that is true.

Speaker 5:          00:35:48       Now you were talking about the Ufo was last night at your show, which was hilarious by the way, and that's what it was. Great running into you over there. We ran into each other at a club. J Dot Davis is going doing this little club. What's it called? The parlor. The Parlor? Yep. On Melrose. So a fun, nice little place, but the AC was out. It was whack. They were. It was really cool crowd because even though it was like a fucking 100 degrees in there, like literally it was at least 100 degrees in that room. I can drink like crazy. It's so high. It was. The crowd was very polite. I felt like I was imposing. Talking to them, I felt like I felt bad. I felt like I was doing something by making them sit there and watch it.

Speaker 4:          00:36:21       No, no, no. It was hilarious. It was awesome. It was great. It was a great surprise. I didn't know you were coming out. We've been. We haven't seen each other in a couple of years. I have a bunch of questions I want to ask you because I've started trying to do standup comedy.

Speaker 5:          00:36:33       You're up and doing it this year, but happened to it. I haven't laughed at some of your stuff on them and doing it. I'm not trying to do it. I'm doing it. God Damn it. I'm sorry. No, I said, I said that. I said sorry for you.

Speaker 4:          00:36:43       No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a whole whole new world, isn't it? Uh, it's a very uh, but I want to ask you some questions about that, but um, but yeah, so, uh, I'll ask you right now I guess go for it or were we going to talk a bit more about the show last night?

Speaker 5:          00:36:56       Well, the show last night, it was a lot of fun. Bird went up and did a bunch of new shit. Oh, and bill burrs, a comedy central special airs again this October first, I believe it is very fun. If you haven't seen it, check it out and it will be good for him too. He really wants to get ratings in this thing because he wants to do more of them. And if you're a fan of standup comedy, Bill Burrs, one of the best. He's one of the best guys out there today. There's very few guys that like consistently nail it the way he does. He's really good. He's a really. I went

Speaker 4:          00:37:24       down there to see bill last night because I met him at the Montreal comedy festival and that this is what's been fun about doing standup as I'm getting to go to a comedy festival and hanging out with a bunch of funny people. Everyone's having a good time. You know, I've saw Doug Stan hope up at the Montreal comedy festival. He had this awesome party in a carwash, you know, it was like a good time. So he calls it just for spite and he does it a po opposing the actual camera. Right? That's right. He's not part of the festival and this was this whole sort of controversial thing that was going on up there, but it was actually quite funny because he had this amazing party in this carwash right across the street isn't really great. Yeah, it was really cool. What'd you guys, what was it like the bar closed, right.

Speaker 4:          00:38:05       And then it's like, okay, well the bar at the hotel closed and then everyone said, well, you know, ducks stand hopes. Having a party in a carwash across the street, what you walk out across the street and now it's, you know, three in the morning now. Right. So those bars are closed when you walk crust literally right across the street from the hotel, the main hotel for the festival. There's this like the smallest carwash, you know, it's got the garage hoses everywhere and it was just, just buckets of beer and we were there to like seven in the morning or something like that. So good time. Lots people, a couple of hundred people in there, in this car wash. Awesome. So you just put together a party. Yeah, it was really, it was really good. But just a move. But what happens if people drive drunk and stuff?

Speaker 4:          00:38:45       I don't think any of them driving taxis and stuff. Really. That's, that's a nice move. Good. You know, the thing that's cool about it is like, you know, so we go over there. I'm at the Montreal Comedy Festival and I met bill burn. He came and saw my show and then last night I thought I'd let you know I'm going to go see bill show. Go see bill show you pop out on stage unexpectedly. Next thing you know, I'm up here at your house. We're drinking cups of coffee, delicious coffee and uh, doing some, uh, some Webo vision here. It's pretty cool. It is cool. It's totally twitter. A couple of times I've said, hey, you know, joe, check this out. I'm on the road. I sent you a couple of my trailers for my standard. We see them on Tom Green.com. Go and Tom Green.com. Have a look at some of the trailers of the tour and around doing this, but for the folks on Itunes, it's Tom Green live.

Speaker 4:          00:39:35       If you, uh, if you want to find them on twitter, go at Tom Green live because they can't see this where it's absolutely Tom Green. Live as my twitter. Still releasing that movie, that movie a young Pranksters Prank star yet that we're working on that one still. Whoa. I can't wait for Susan. It's kind of, um, it's kind of, it's kind of a top secret. It's not finished. Well, I can't really tell you what's about because I'm not sure I even know yet because we're still kind of in the process of finishing it. Cool. Cool. Yeah. I want you to do more movies, man. I really enjoyed. Freddy got fingered. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. You went out there with that man. You took a crazy chance. Yeah, I think it shocked a lot of people. They didn't know what to do with it know, because it was so out there, but it was one of the ultimate stoner movies.

Speaker 4:          00:40:21       If you're a stoner, what? Go get Freddy of people like, you know, a lot of people haven't, haven't really heard enough good reviews of it. It's really fucking funny girl that all day with the baby when the giving birth, I want to say anymore. I don't want to ruin it in a way to your comedy, but now. Well let me just, let me tell you the thing that. Thank you for saying that, because you know, when you, when you, you get thrust into this situation where all of a sudden I had an opportunity to make a movie to write. I wrote it obviously was trying to make the stupidest movie we could think of right now. Let's make it the stupidest thing ever. And then, you know, the studio at the time had all this opportunity to make this. They said, okay, they had all these directors I said I want to direct it to.

Speaker 4:          00:41:04       So then they let me direct it. So now I'm swinging blooding babies around and you know, jacking off elephants and stuff and you know, getting inside deer carcasses and doing all this stuff. Right? And then, you know, you're working on this thing for like a year, right? You know, you're working on this thing for a year nonstop. Uh, you know, you're casting it, you're picking all the props, you're making sure all the way the, the guts that come out of that deer carcass looked like rubber to me. And then the prop guys like, well, we're going to put some blood on it and it's gonna go, well, let's see what that looks like. And they do it and you look at it and you're like, no, it still looks like some rubber. We got to get some real guts. And they're like, well, we don't know how we're going to make real guts come out of the carcass when you cut it.

Speaker 4:          00:41:42       And then they go off and these are like people that are professionals, you know, and they go off and they come back the next day and they go, okay, we've rigged up this compressed air that we're going to put in the back of the taxidermy deer. You're going to run your knife down. The slit is going to shoot out real pig guts that we've got the butcher shop, you know, and I'm draped in pig guts and I'm doing all this stuff right? And you're thinking, okay, this is crazy, this is going to look crazy. Then the movie comes out, everybody like, you know, basically, you know, reams you like, uh, you know, you've never been seen before in your life at this point, you know what I mean? Local papers and people and you and you feel completely kind of confused about it, right? Because you're thinking, shit, I thought it was pretty fucking funny.

Speaker 4:          00:42:23       I don't know what's wrong with me. Right. So then, but the fun thing about it is after that initial weekend and the whole sort of everybody talking about your movie being crazy and disgusting and all this stuff, you uh, you know, I've been on tour this year doing stand up and it's been so much fun because there's a lot of a nut jobs out there in the world that like, that let that love the movie and they're part of my show now. And when I do my standup, I do a little guitar at my show in the middle and I seen a couple like, Daddy, would you like some sausage? I sing that with everybody sings it with me. And then people start shouting out some of their favorite bits. But I'm surprised it went all across Australia, Canada. Next month I'm going to be in a Toronto Bellville, um, a Hamilton and London, Ontario, and uh, people come to the shows and uh, you know, are, are shouting out all these things from Freddie.

Speaker 4:          00:43:12       Got It. Feels a lot. I guess what I'm saying is, thanks for bringing it up. This is what I used to be out and actually getting all this positive feedback about the movie because I was made to feel like you're a victim of a pre-internet review system. It was a bunch of fogy old douche bags and you know, the way people looked at things was, you know, you couldn't just be when, what year was pretty good fingered. It was 2001, you know, what the fuck was on the Internet back then? You know what I'm saying? It wasn't the same as 2010 and the thing doesn't attend. You get your reviews from ain't it cool news.com. That kind of shit. Like I always go to Fandango or something. I get my reviews online. I want to use this moment as a, as a real opportunity for me to actually talk about this for a second.

Speaker 4:          00:43:53       Okay. I directed this movie. I wrote this whole thing and everybody freaks out on it. It's Pre-internet, right? I the other day I went and I looked at a netflix. Okay. At the end of the reviews of the movies. Right. So I did this just two days ago and I looked at the reviews and Freddy got fingered and the point of making that movie was to kind of be polarizing, right? It was supposed to be ridiculous. It was done in a way where I think that 50 percent of the people who watch it are definitely going to hate it more than anything they've ever seen in their entire life. And that was the goal to, you know, in the job is obviously that the other 50 percent of the people are laughing at the 50 percent of the people that hate it. And that's the joke, right?

Speaker 4:          00:44:30       So yeah, I went on Netflix and you're reading the reviews and it's, it's pretty much 50 slash 50 people are giving it either you know, a good review or the worst review you've ever read in your life back and forth, back and forth, and these people are just arguing with each other about it. And here we are 10 years later after I made this thing and looking at these people, having these passionate arguments completely on opposite ends of the spectrum. That's pretty funny. So I like to go read the reviews on this. I really truly believed that at that movie came out today. It would be an internet phenomenon. People will be so into it. I think it was a fucking fun, crazy movie. Red You will. I'm hoping to make another movie this year since since he has asked about the movies. I'm hoping to make another movie this year, which is going to be called insane prank movie and it's going to be just a bunch of crazy pranks street stuff, but you know, it's going to be sort of a.

Speaker 4:          00:45:19       well don't get beat up man. I've been hearing you. You're telling me you're getting in fights, what's going on? Oh yes, that's right. Yeah, I am. I've been in two fights. You're grown, man. I won't be around and not get in. I was defending myself both times. What happened? I was attacked both times by who? I was by strangers both times. For what reason? Well, the first time I was attacked. Where was it? Where does taking place? About two years ago in New York City. And did the guy know you were Tom Green? The he was. He was somebody who knew somebody. I don't know. I don't know. He was somebody who was an acquaintance of somebody who I knew and now I'm now I'm starting to get worried about getting into the details because what really happened was quite intense. Quite intense. Why I'm worried about getting it.

Speaker 4:          00:46:11       Well, because you know, I don't know. I just thinking now all of a sudden I've never really talked about this on the radio in. That'd be kind of weird. What's weird when you get in a fight, beat somebody up. Tom Green? No, he. He was punched in the head and I retaliated. Right. And then whoop that ass, you know. Did you get all up in their beat that ass essentially? Yes. Essentially. Yes. Yes. I was not heard. Probably shouldn't give out the details because you know, I just don't get sued. You're Tom Green. Well, you know, somebody punched me in the head and so I had to kind of thing. But then the other solid jaw take a good shot right there. Right there. I had a bump the next day. It was, it was itching gray out or did you stand your ground? I was actually sitting down.

Speaker 4:          00:46:52       He punched you when you were sitting down. What did you do? Were you getting blown by his girlfriend? Why while you sitting? I was sitting beside his girlfriend. You were? Yeah. Or a girl that he knew, but I wasn't really, uh, you know, I was also with a girl who was my friend who was sitting beside me on this side and we were all friends and she was friends with them. But anyways, this is the point. Let's, let's move past that. The point is, as you got in fights, I got in a fight, so then the second time around, okay, you're a veteran by now. You're ready to end. This is actually something I can ask you about for advice on this because this is about controlling your temper, right? This is about when somebody comes at you and you know you're. You are a fighter, so you know about this stuff, right? I don't know about this stuff, but what happened I, I go go into this sort of post traumatic stress disorder, kind of everything goes in slow motion.

Speaker 5:          00:47:42       Well, you know, that's one of the best things about learning martial arts is that you become confident in your ability to defend yourself, not you might not always be able to defend yourself. You might. There might be guns and weapons and all, but you're not going to feel completely helpless. You're going to feel like you have at least confidence. If you have a chance, you can do something. Whereas a person who doesn't know how to fight it all and has no experience, it's such a paralyzing feeling when you in the presence of violence. So I mean, you just want to cover up in a ball, you just want to try to protect yourself. You don't know what to do. So this first occasion had bad feelings. First occasion happened

Speaker 4:          00:48:14       and cut to three months. Maybe six months later I'm walking down sunset outside Mel's diner that's got the stitches taken out. Yeah. And Somehow, um,

Speaker 4:          00:48:27       for some reason somebody comes up behind me, I was, I think I'd actually had a few drinks that night. Me and my friends were being somewhat obnoxious. Oh, talking loudly, being generally idiots on the street. Yeah. And some, some guy saw me being kind of an idiot and came walking up to me and my friend, that was Brian and he said, hey man, I want to kick your ass right now. Just like that. No reason. Okay. He said, I'm going to kick your ass right now. And this guy was actually smaller than me, which I thought was strange in these coming out of nowhere. And the word of the dark and there's no one around right by Poquito mas outside. Mel Mel's diner on sunset. I look at him, my friend looks at him, he, my friend says, are you serious dude? And he goes, yeah. And then my friend for whatever reason goes okay.

Speaker 4:          00:49:14       And goes like that. So then this guy's running at me, but because of the previous situation, I'm now in like the slow motion mode. Like he's coming at me and I've done, well, this is not going to. So I went at him and I, I just put my hands on his neck, right? And I put my hand behind them. I kind of lowered them down under the ground and I put my fist up in his face like this. And I said, I don't want to hurt you man. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. Right. And he said his leg was kind of flapping up on the side of my body like this. And I had him pinned on his back on the sidewalk. And he said, okay man. Okay. And I got up and he walked away. Wow,

Speaker 5:          00:49:52       so then how for rape joke to the mount position for those that you don't know what Tom Green was doing, grabbing the hand and the bitch, where's my money grip? And then he had a fist up.

Speaker 4:          00:50:01       Yeah. And it just kind of ended. It diffused the situation. Nobody got hurt and uh, you know, that's, I think that's, I think that's something that people need to know is that to, you know, there is this flash of a moment when somebody attacks you were, you kind of go into this animal mode, right? And you're not in complete control. Right. And then you know, you gotta you gotta kind of be able to control that now. Are you like paranoid

Speaker 1:          00:50:28       that everyone's going to attack you? Like, do you like the, although less paranoid now because I now know I got a, got a, got that sort of. It's sort of like a throat on the ground. You're always thinking about it. Right? Well the other thing is, is that that only worked because he was coming at me fast and he was sort of smaller than me. I don't think that would've worked if he was bigger than me. That would have worked on new. Anything new, anything that would work. You find a lot. He was probably really, really drunk and it was just. To me it was exciting though because I haven't been in any sort of physical altercation since I was at a kid. You don't want that kind of excitement. If you want to go to Jujitsu class, Jujitsu, you get to spar, you get to go full blast with each other and trying to kill each other with your bare hands.

Speaker 1:          00:51:08       It's awesome. You get all that shit out and you don't have to get in fights on there. On your conflict is there's a certain amount over a certain amount of excitement, primal excitement that comes from. But it's very dangerous man. Oh my gosh. I actually, when you're an alcohol, you guys were walking down the street making a fuck load of noise. No, this has become so paranoid about it. Since then that I've actually kind of essentially really laid off the sauce a bit because I realized that, you know, although I didn't really kind of. I got attacked, right, but it was due to my own sort of loud, obnoxious behavior. That's what I'm saying. Like you learn from that, right? Yeah. You do. You do. And drunkenness and things you can do if you're really loud and in public. That's a douchey. It's when you're in your twenties, being drunk out at the bar and being crazy.

Speaker 1:          00:51:57       Yeah. It's part, it's part of it. I just turned 39 years old and I'm thinking to myself, that's not cute anymore. Really. Totally. It's not cute. It's not cute when it annoys other people. That's what it is, you know, and I never used to think about that when I was younger. I just think about it. I just random fun it. Woo. Yeah. We're having fun. Who gives a shit and then as you get older you start going, wait a minute. But if we're having fun at other people's expense, they shouldn't be fun. Should be annoying to me too. I should be embarrassed. You know, they learn not to be a Douche bag. Yeah, exactly. And that's exactly what moved that you're ready to go. I think you might want to. I'm going to show you, we'll go onto my cage in the garage and I'll show you some counters to be very careful.

Speaker 1:          00:52:36       I, I would. I would appreciate some self defense. Not that I want to extend your arm. You've got to make sure you do it correctly. I'd like to take some. Some Jujitsu. Crop was fun too. It's like a combination of things and they, they, they give you like a lot of stuff like this is what you do on the street when a guy comes after you, but you can't prepare for everything on the street. You don't really know what the fuck. If a guy's going to have a gun or a knife, you're not going to really know. You know? You're better off just getting really good at any sort of a martial art. Like you know you're really going to get good at knife defense. That's. Yeah. That seems like a waste of time considering no one's ever pulled a knife on you and your life away from douchebags. Keep your life clean. Let's hope we don't get stabbed. Yeah. Don't, don't be going out. Practice every day because one day God's going to have a knife. There's this fat guy has his website on all sorts of attacks,

Speaker 3:          00:53:26       like a knife against a knife, how he will block this knife and then he will attack this means up fat. Fuck Guy's hilarious. He's completely out of shape and he's like, he's actually kind of a half decent writer, but totally completely delusional martial arts guy. And so, uh, he's got these instructional videos where a guy will come at him with a knife and he will block this knife and cut to the guy's body, go behind him, and he cuts like major organs and I'm looking to make. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life. Preparing for a knife fight that will never have one probably cause of the preparing for it to take your clothes. Increasing his odds of being killed by like $10,000 times carrying knives on them everywhere. Challenged asking for a knife, fight. He's begging for a knife. Fight is nuts.

Speaker 3:          00:54:10       You know what the fuck's wasting their life? Preparing for the knife fights. This is funny. Sometimes I look down here at this stream and then I see you and I'm thinking that I'm looking at you live, but it's deliberately. Yeah, let's not look at it because I don't want to confuse you. It was funny. It was. It was confusing to me because. And they'll go off and adrift. Yeah. Was, it was. Yeah, it was, it was like I was, I was looking at your, you're laughing over there and I'm like, wait a minute. I'm not saying anything funny right now. Oh wait, he's not laughing. That was, that was a few seconds ago. Something that was very high tech run a delay in case you start getting crazy. Curse our government. Yeah, this is cool. And now, so we're, uh, we're broadcasting on itunes, itunes, on the Zune marketplace.

Speaker 3:          00:54:47       It's on all sorts of different things. Oh, this is cool. This is cool. I'm now. So yeah. So, um, stitcher number one in Canada, a comedy few times on itunes. Okay. Yeah. See, this is something that Canada, I'm going to start trying to do a podcast myself for the first time and I in starting next week. So it's going to be fun. You've always been in that kind of community access channel like are you will always make them via. You actually changed everything when you had your show on MTV, in my opinion, my whole age group, uh, I'm 36, but you took my idea making stupid little videos and going, wow, look what he's doing. He's actually doing it for real z's on MTV. You know, you've really changed that whole market. You, it's pretty, pretty amazing career that you've had men. That was an exciting time.

Speaker 3:          00:55:33       It was obviously that was most exciting was just blown. Brian, you know, maybe we wait until the show's over and as one of the most awkward things, every driveway or something like that. Really. Like when Doug's down opens here, I was trying to sell it really good things about them, but I'm like, it's so weird saying that he's right here and it's going to broadcasting in front of the world. But a great show though. You come up to Joe's house, coffee, you get a blow job. I think a lot of people though I think a lot you've inspired a lot of people are inspired me to do this man this online. When I came over to your house, I'm like, wow, oh yeah, I remember how excited you are about it and you talk to the, the. There was a document or was an entertainment tonight, Canada or somebody who was at the house and you said you were very excited about and I thought, well this is cool. This is maybe maybe this is not a waste of time doing the show in living room just so we,

Speaker 5:          00:56:24       it, we knew that eventually it was going to get to the point where the Internet and the television combined. It hasn't totally happened yet. Convert pretty close concert. Too small a dribble, you know, I can get like I have a DVD player that lets you go to let you go to different sources and get netflix and. Yeah. And even youtube allows you go to youtube as well and you stream. I don't know about ustream. No, no, I think I was wrong. That was youtube here, but it's just, it's close. You know, you can get the Internet is bringing content to your television. It's just doing it through outside parties now is not quite as accessible as I would.

Speaker 4:          00:57:01       Thank you. I worry that it's going to get all controlled. So you end up, everyone gets some box. They're watching the internet on their TV, but it's not the real internet, you know, it's just the stuff that the shows that get bought by Time Warner cable until they decide to put on the Internet, which then all of a sudden you don't have the Internet. You have this sort of other way of distributing and television that's on demand. So we're, it's not free net neutrality, you know, you need, need to make sure that, you know, and I don't know a whole lot about it, but you know, I was talking about this the other day with my friend and he said net neutrality is a big issue right now. You know, they're talking about,

Speaker 5:          00:57:38       well, since you're in Hollywood, since we don't know a lot about it, argue about it. It's one of us know the points. So I just think that we got to stop this man. That's how we rock it in Hollywood. Argue about shit we don't even know about. Well, you know, I was on stage at some guy, some guy in the audience just decided he was going to heckle and this is what he had called. He goes, even Stephen Hawking said that the universe proves there must be a god. Like he was arguing with me, angry at me and this is what he was saying. And then Stephen Hawkins came out last week talking, said and came out two weeks ago and said something like, dude, you didn't even read it. He didn't even read it. And you're arguing, you're yelling it out publicly and Stan and that's La.

Speaker 5:          00:58:23       That's my point. That was Los Angeles. Think about anything. Just argue it. Not only did he argue it, he yelled it out and I don't even know what I was talking about. I forgot because it was so ridiculous what he said, but he yelled it out like from the side of the stage, like it was like an important point for him. Did you have a conversation with them about it? Very little. I talked to him a little bit from the stage. I tried to be nice and just segwayed into the rest of the show, but he just like wanted to. It was a weird thing. It was like he was a guy that just wanted to argue like it wasn't a game like he wanted to play catch with me. Have you noticed a lot more heckling joe lately? No. No, not lately. It's comes and goes as cool crowds and not so cool crowds and it's always. The crowds were always cool. There's just always a few douchebags, a tiny few amount of Douche bags, but that's all you need. You know, if you have 300 people in a, in a comedy club, all you need is three Douche bags and you've got an issue. You have to deal one douche bag and you got an issue. So some you like that or I would way rather have just a fun show. Like in India it's stressful and started yelling. I did two in Indianapolis

Speaker 1:          00:59:21       last Friday. Never been to Indianapolis for comedy before. It was fucking great, man. The crowds were super cool. Dude. Everybody's super friendly and fun. It's a nice like easy going place and it's a decent sized city. It's a million, 4 million, 400,000 people. So it's a, it's not a small town and just really fucking cool, friendly people, you know, I like that man. I don't want to deal with some fucking Douche bags and need attention. That's annoying man. It's like I want to tell you man, I want to pull them aside and you know, take them away from everybody and go, dude, get your shit together man. You see what you're doing. You're out of control. You just, you're so needy for attention that you're blended. Disrupt everything around you. I've started to notice them before they even say anything and we often sit right at the front, right?

Speaker 1:          01:00:04       Of course, sit right there where everyone could see them and they're sort of these, you can tell that these sort of, you know, Alpha personality types who just want everybody to look at them. I mean, come on, what, what their problem. No, no, but I mean, you know, the weirdest thing when people talk back to, you know, if you want to do, if you want to, why don't you just go do comedy, you know, and go do your own show, you know? No, they don't want to criticize. It's like critics. These critics hated your fucking movie. Go make a better movie where they're not going to make a better movie. They have nothing to contribute. They're contributing. They're doing their best to be verbose and their bitchiness that's what their contribution is. Be County about things. Always look for the negative, love everything foreign. I mean that's really what it is, but it's also even when the yellow fun stuff, it's sort of annoying too, right?

Speaker 1:          01:00:49       Well, they were saying was when think they're trying to help you or something worse is when they talk to you, you ever have people in the front row and they just talk at you, like why would you do that? Like, what the fuck I'm going to get to it and we get to the whole subject, you know, don't, don't move me in a different direction. Come on, man. What? Well, where were you going? Why are you talking to me? Man, this isn't a conversation, so fucking comedy show. I always give people the opportunity to yell shit out though. I do a q and a. It almost end of almost every one of my shows just because it's fun. Sometimes it's anticlimactic. It's dangerous because sometimes it drags on and I do the q and a for like an hour or something. I don't know how to end because it's so open ended, but I think people like fucking around and being able to talk to me so I let them know like, well there'll be a time where we can yell shit out, but it's not.

Speaker 1:          01:01:34       Let me get my material. I don't do all this and then we'll fuck around. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, because it's the best is when there's lines and microphones. That's how I did it when I recorded my DVD. That's the best way to do it. A lot. We have a line and people come up to the line and they get to the microphone. Oh yeah, yeah. Because when they just yell shit out, it just gets too crazy. Right, right. Brian, I was just going to say, let's see guys name, like, you know, look, talk about Jews to churches in the church. What should he have done different now? Because you have stuff out on, headed on tv or you do people the Leo to do bits that I can't remember. A lot of them though. The problem is when I stopped doing a bit, man, I don't remember how to do it. Like somebody yelled out, do the talking dog that the other day,

Speaker 5:          01:02:20       the drug commercial bed. And I was like fuck, how does that go? Like I haven't done it in a long time so I had to try to perform it from memory. You know, I just, I, I always try to come up with new shit and when you have new shit you got to abandon the old shit. You can't keep remembering it every now and then what will pop up from like the old days? I remember one like, wow, I remember how this one goes, but in order to keep writing new material, you know I've had right now I had the first one was I'm going to dead some day and then there was the showtime special that I did or not, and then there was belly of the beast and the showtime special in 2005 and then shiny, happy Jihad and then talking Mikey's in space.

Speaker 5:          01:02:55       That's a lot of different material. I can't remember all that shit. Just pop in the DVD and watch. Watch your show. Nobody's gonna get it back in your head for me to watch the stuff that I've just done recently, it's really uncomfortable for me to watch something like from like a few years ago while you fucking a fleshlight might help. Wow. What are you saying? Yeah, well, and it's like when you were playing that song earlier, I was sort of sitting there kind of sort of curling up inside my shoes, you know, because it's like you're looking at something from 20 years ago and you're gone. I wouldn't really do it exactly that way. I know which way I'm patrolling, so look truck, do you know, it's, that's kind of cheesy, but it's capturing. Somebody said this to me once that you know, you just have to think of all these performances as capturing a moment in time, you know, but I, I don't know.

Speaker 5:          01:03:39       That's all well and good and I appreciate that, but I don't want to. It's still me, you know, I don't really want to watch me from 15 years ago do comedy. It's not fun. I don't know like me for five years ago doing it, you know, it's hard watching yourself, man, when, when you're, you're very critical and honest, you know, it's hard. It's hard. Like in trying to figure out how much of this should I be trying to enjoy this but trying to enjoy it like a spectator or should I be hypercritical of everything I'm doing because that's what I always wind up doing. Yeah. I'd prefer not watching myself, but you have to go over material I think to um, to uh, like you listen to bits and sometimes you go out, your brain will take you down different paths. Like go, oh, why didn't I say this or why didn't I talk about that?

Speaker 5:          01:04:17       Or you remember like certain taglines that you may have adlibbed at the moment, which may be gone if you don't remember him. There's a lot of my best taglines. I forget them. I just stopped doing it for some reason and then I forget it and then some. So someone will say to you like, why don't you say that anymore? I'm like, Oh fuck, I forgot. I know you have it all written down somewhere or most of it. Yeah. Most of the material is written down. It's all written by the way I start off, almost all of my bits is I start them off with like blog entries. Whether or not it gets posted on the Internet at all. Almost all of it is just me dissecting a subject. This is the method that I've come to over the last few years is the most. To me it's the best method because it allows me to really examine all the different ways I think about a subject without worrying about people's attention spans. Right. Just right. You know, and it could be page after page after page, just ramblings on what I think about anything and then I dissect what's funny about it, like this is funny, this is funny, this is funny. And then I say, well how much this would go into a bit, could this be a bit, okay, this could be a bat right here. This, this is how I'd have to say it. And then I looked at it like that. Like I'm stealing from myself, I'm stealing, get back to the Internet, right? People

Speaker 3:          01:05:18       if I post it, but there's a lot

Speaker 5:          01:05:20       stuff that I read that I don't post, stuff that I write, I write it as if it was going to be a blog entry and then just winds up going into file because I don't like where I was going with it or it wasn't finished with it. But I do like this part and that part will become a bit. Do you like, do you think of your ideas when you sit down to write or is it when you're out in a boat with friends hanging out and then you bolt? It's everything. I think you know, you get different kinds of creativity just from driving in your car with the music off. You know, if you have your stereo off and you'd just drive your car and don't talk to anybody, just doing that, doing like every average everyday things, a percentage of your brain, you know you're going to focus on what you're doing and focus on our activity, but you're going to get bored.

Speaker 5:          01:05:55       Your brain is going to get bored with just driving, so your brain is gonna. Start thinking about things, so percentage of your brain will start coming up with ideas and you start pondering things and questioning relationships, and you start breaking down your life while you're driving. No Stereo on. Now when you got the music on, you listen to that and then you're. You're often no thinking land, you know, that's the one. One of the most dangerous things about the media is the fact that it's so pervasive and it's so easy to get to and it's so easy to just sit there and watch and just get sucked into it and never think at all.

Speaker 3:          01:06:22       I know I've been. I've been addicted to the 24 hour news cycle in this last few years and it just drives me nuts. Is the day. Do you watch? Oh, well it's just on in the background. So it's like I'm at the computer but it's on, in the background. Can you sleep to news? Uh, no. No. He sleeps till dead TV at all. No, I don't. Fuck all that. That's a sickness. Is that getting real sleep? Sounds a little. No. I always do the 40 minutes. Snipper everybody. I know that they watch TV. It was button on your TV. That's cool. And a timer. I mean. Really? Yeah. That's cool. You do a 40 minute snooze, 40 minutes. What do you watch? Late night television cartoons. Cartoon network. So you're not sleeping while the TV's on TV shuts itself off. That's sort of different. I mean I have watched TV before I go to bed, but I thought you were just sleeping with the television and you don't give a fuck.

Speaker 3:          01:07:09       Tom and Jerry's are lagging like no rem sleep. He's like barely. Barely dream it. Listening to books on tape. Yeah. You got to trick. You have to constantly trick your mind and you're four years old. I woke up this morning and I have the weirdest flight ones because I bought this cd on the laws of attraction. This, uh, this crazy woman who claims to be channeling some, some, you know, the secret or what? No, it was another one that was the laws of attraction. I forget her name, but anyway, she talks in this strange way, like when she's channeling this like Super Dad. Oh, Blonde Lady, right? You know, when it's on Itunes, I'll tell you princess somebody or something. I've seen that somewhere because, uh, yeah, someone showed me that one. So I like that, you know, that speaks of. I read the secret and I found it, found it to something that I enjoyed. So there's this woman in panels, this

Speaker 5:          01:08:02       for a deity called Abraham fell asleep, bloods. I listened to everything. I have a very open mind and even if I think someone, it sounds crazy, you're channeling something, okay, maybe you are crazy, but maybe in your crazy, in actual true belief, you may have it. So you're communicating with his deity. Maybe you can bypass some of the pitfalls and roadblocks and human consciousness and maybe you could see things that other people can truly see. So maybe you are crazy. Maybe you are full of shit, but maybe you still have some good points. I'm willing to let that be a possibility. So I listen to 90 people do all kinds of different conversations and all kinds of different lectures and so I was listening to this and I fell asleep listening to it so it was on the plane for like a five hour flight and it's like hours and hours of lectures of this woman talking through this man channeling wow.

Speaker 5:          01:08:48       Telling you love life is loving all this nutty fucking new age type shit. She's channeling for this deity and the strange voice. She's a inflecting sorry w I landed just thinking like I'm fucking Harry Potter movies. Is it have fucking program something in your brain. You're going to be the government license tank and next thing you know you're going to be like, what was that movie with Denzel Washington Sundry? Made spotless mind or so? You've reprogrammed yourself. Totally wasn't moving something, man. Denzel Washington movie running, man. No, no, fuck mean. I'm at Man on a Shannon the fuck. He's a security guard. There was a security for the girl and she gets kidnapped and have been program. He was programmed when he was fucking terminator trying to help anymore. Man. How dare you duck. I'm now going to get it, man. It was a movie where they brainwashed him when he was younger and then they activated him.

Speaker 5:          01:09:45       Oh yeah. No, no. Fuck you man. I'm the other one where the guy, they tried to get the guys a little kid. You dickhead fucking Dick. That's not Denzel Washington. Let's Macaulay Culkin. Same Guy. I hate not being able to remember shit. So annoying. Yeah. Is there a memory supplement? Has anybody ever taken a memory supplement? I mean, what's good? Is that real? Because I had heard it was bullshit. I heard Gingko was bullshitting. If you haven't started yet, cool. What? What milligrams? I don't remember. Can I get to talk about this off air you had? Do you feel that you find, you forget things as you get older, you forget things because you have too much information. I mean, I don't feel like, uh, I don't recall at this point, but yeah. You know what I do you, I do notice that there is a, some sort of a scientific theory about the amount of people that we can store in our brain and I absolutely believe that they say it's 150 people have room for 150 faces and names they recognize. I have recognized someone that I didn't know was still in my database where you have to re assimilate the memory and you go, oh, that's a weird thing man. It's like your brain is going, oh well we've got a dust this off. Hold on. We have it. Which way? Back here. So we're back here. And then the dudes given me information. Do you remember, man, we used to play pool together and white plains. I'm like, Oh shit. And then I'm going way back here. Okay. I got the file. I've got the.

Speaker 5:          01:11:12       Because you, you know, this year traveling, I've been traveling around this year meeting, you know, thousands of people, hundreds of people every weekend and different cities. Right? So you're meeting all these different people. Do you find then you start having that happen more where you don't when you come back to la? I mean especially if you like, if you meet someone who's interesting and you wind up talking to this dude and you know, you talked to him on the Internet, well that's an internet. You've got an internet memory now you know this guy is a part of your Internet group. You know, if you email me, I'll my message board people sign up for my message board and sometimes there's some cool people have some interesting things and what can you. Now that guy's a nickname in my. My things have names of people that I can store in my mind.

Speaker 5:          01:11:49       I mean there's like 150. That's where they say, I really do find it really is. It doesn't seem like a data issue. It seems like a data processing issue. It's like we're not supposed to have access. This may fucking people like our hardware is not set up for this. It's like we're trying to run quake for a 1982 fucking pc, you know, that's what it is. We're going to have to get little, you know, 32 gigabyte chips that we can sort of plug in behind her ear or something like that. You imagined just for names and phone numbers, if they could figure out how to update the database of your mind, it might have just download stuff into your little. Well that'll be out there soon. It's got to be. If you can think it, if you can think of. They're gonna. They're gonna get there as long as they keep tampering and they always will.

Speaker 5:          01:12:31       I'm, that's what people do. We keep trying to figure out what's the coolest, best shit and they're going to learn. They're gonna. Learn from it. As long as we don't blow ourselves off the face of the earth. We got some petty shit coming from nobody. Shit. Yeah, it's, it's, um, they're developing skin that can feel. That's artificial. Really. Yes. Artificial skin that you can feel with their have artificial limb. What do you mean? What are you gonna be able to look. You attach it to your finger and you can make your finger like 40 feet long and you can touch stuff eventually. Ultimately they want you to be able to be sensitive, like you can pick up a piece of paper with it or you could hold a thick mug. Oh really? Be able to touch and feel things. You're going to get electrical impulses from this artificial hands so they can just go into your nerve endings and they're gonna figure out how to make it so your brain thinks this is a hand, so they figured out the conversion of their work to like.

Speaker 5:          01:13:17       I mean, I don't know how long it is or how close it is, but I know that this is an ultimate goal. They're trying to figure out a what would be some uses for that. You know about fake humans, how they gonna make fake people do depending flashlight. That's the real thing that are flushed with thing is artificial life. That's the real thing. That's really, really possible. It's really possible we don't know what, uh, what life really is. You know, technology might be life, it might be life in some sort of an embryotic form and it has to break out of this like a caterpillar that becomes a butterfly. This might with we're, we're seeing what technology that people created today in 2010. We might be seeing just the, you know, just this egg shell that's about to break and this new thing is going to hatch out of it. I A guy, I could use a, you know, a, a robot around the house that had sensitive skin, smooth mouth pretty lit. So that would be so strange. We just had this really

Speaker 1:          01:14:12       super hot robot that you could fuck whenever you wanted and you didn't have to feed her, you could shut her off, you can do whatever you wanted when you turned around and was like, oh, we fucking up. Clearly this is possible. Clearly these scientists are, are putting their, uh, who is going to the energy in the right place, tolerate their wife's bullshit. When you can fuck this super hot robot porn star. Probably be something annoying and gross. Change your filter, you know, that would be a load out of her snatch. That wouldn't be a good job. What if she's absolutely artificial? Even her, you know, her hormones are everything. What if it literally is like an artificial person, you know, but doesn't age. She blames her own filter. Yeah. Queens around pussy. Fuck yeah. She cleans her own filter. Hey, why don't you just clean your own filter already.

Speaker 1:          01:14:58       There's a problem. Can you clean my filter? And why don't you put it in your own filter. You embarrassed all the time. There was already problems with that. If you could actually have these totally controllable artificial people where you could program in their personality, make them super accepting and docile and always, you know, always kind and sweet and affection to you. What would people even get in relationships anymore? Would do a dudes God touches. If you're an ugly fat guy, you can just buy the super, super, insanely hot chick that's fake. I think. Go to movies with her and Shit. She'll go to the movies with you. No, no. That's the end. We didn't even know he wouldn't even know if it was a real person, but at the end, and they'll be like some old fat fucked up dude with no teach shit all over his clothes.

Speaker 1:          01:15:41       She doesn't care. She's a robot. She's hot as fuck. She looks like traci lords in her prime and they're holding hands at the movie theater. People getting pissed off. Fucking real woman. Except the way you would know a little bit the way you would know is because when it first happens, there'd only be five models. You know, there'd be the blonde, you know, there'd be the Burnett, so you'd see them again. You're like smart cars going around or whatever and they'll do anything. They'll suck your dick and a taxi cab. They don't give a fuck the robot and people are going to go off. It's gonna be crazy. Debit probably have like dead eyes. You know when you look in somebodies eyes, you tell maybe, maybe the puppy dog eyes, maybe the crush. You maybe fall in love with that robot and you're trying to figure out a way to breed with her had puppies and that's.

Speaker 1:          01:16:20       Maybe that's the apocalypse. We do figure out a way to breed, but can you tell me a little bit about this flashlight since we're on the topic of, of having sex with. It's a thing that you really. It is. Fuck this one. I think some of the other part. This is. This is your sponsor, your show. Yes. Manufacturer believe Austin, Texas. That's where the company's located. He hung out with that group of companies can get in there. That'd be good. I'll turn it for me. Don't really feel like touching. I should feel it. You should feel like no one is lax with this. Yes. This is just a sample that they sent us. Just trust it. Okay. All right. Yep. You're pretty good, right? That the finger and I'm not going to put my finger. No, no. It feels like it. Just feel it. I can imagine. I can imagine. Might have a very imagination

Speaker 3:          01:17:10       that is. That's interesting. Better than the cow. Now let me ask you this. I don't have to ask you whether or not you masturbate because of course you do, but I. But would you be willing to buy a masturbation tool that would make masturbation better? Probably not. Right then you have to sort of as open does get a free one. Because I was like, yeah, I wouldn't. Would I be willing to find that one left? Hold on. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Actually. Well, you know, might be fun just for conversation at parties or something like that. Hey know I've got. I'll give it to you. I'll go find it. It's in here somewhere. Yeah. No, I mean you don't know what kind of porn is Tom Greenlight do? You definitely would have to be in a sealed rapper. Let's put it as a common.

Speaker 3:          01:17:49       A seals. Hermetically sealed plastic. Absolutely. Insurance. I would not advise you to fuck that. Yeah. You don't want Brian Cowen touch that. This has been in touch. This has been unsealed. Is it a signature thing? I think Ricky Schroder even touched that one. Did Ricky Schroder test? Ricky Schroder touched. And so does it do anything? Does it vibrate or anything? So you don't need that? No, it's just a. it's just that's what it is. Just that you know what it is, man, it just makes it way better feeling than your hand and you're not getting any. You're not getting any signal from it. It's patented rubber. You know, they have their own patent on how it really feels great America made in the USA.

Speaker 3:          01:18:31       Very interesting thing. These fish in a bucket. Look at that. That's what he calls it. Fill out. This is what it's called. This is called deer in a tree. He just making up names. It's not what it's called. It's a great product for, for 60 bucks or whatever it costs. It's totally worth it. It makes beating off way more fun. What kind of porn do you like? Why are you an amateur guy or take off, take your pants off when you asked that question. You know, I don't even know anymore, man. It's gotten so crazy out there. Magazine kids today are not so crazy. Well, what's gotten crazy man? Well, I think basically just the sort of instant access to anything online. It's kind of starting actually to get to the point where, um, you know, it's not as an amazing thing. Porn, you know, I was, you know, when, when, when we were kids, you know, when we were, when we were like, you know, when I was, when I was a kid, they didn't have that obviously, so you'd be excited when, you know, like when a sears catalog comes, you know, you'd be excited, you know, this is, this is, this is what you would, uh, you know, there was not this access to it.

Speaker 3:          01:19:47       So to, it's, it's almost like overwhelming to me now. I think I've watched too much of it in my life and I'm not interested in not much anymore, you know, to be honest with you when you're campaigning for a nice curl. When I start, when I started seeing it online and video, to be honest with you, I've watched it a lot because I was interesting in the web streaming technology. Yeah. So I would go on some of the sites just to kind

Speaker 1:          01:20:08       of cuts it just for purely technological. It was sort of like a business or research kind of thing. Because I'm doing my web show, I want to see that the streaming quality was good and things like, and you can get the most data from the facial section. That's what I find. Yeah. But uh, but uh, it's, it's, I, I think that's what's going to happen to us. Are we going to go, are we all going to go crazy because of this porn everywhere and these people fucking, they're just going crazy because they'd been suppressed for so long until everybody comes down and then they're going to realize that, well, I don't really like watching all this crazy mouth fucking until tools throw up and coming in their eyeballs know shit. I don't really like that. You go back to making love videos, they're actually better than the porn fucking video.

Speaker 1:          01:20:50       Oh, I've never heard of that. Bull in really in love. And they just sit there and make love. It's really pretty nice. This is a better way. Some fetish site. You're into it. You don't even like professionals, boy and like fucking scabs. The love videos highlighting the porn union. Very nice. Oh, and where do you find that? Google love making love videos. The website, I've never heard of this one chick that's like the most famous blowjob artists in all of the world. I don't remember her name, but she's really feeling it was. But she, uh, it's, I, uh, I deep throat.com. Heather, that's her name is heather. Heather something on and she's got like, I dunno, 100 fucking videos and they're all of her blowing. Her husband blown this dude everywhere. And she has the most ridiculous lack of gag reflexes. She's got none. So if he's got a big tank, she's down to the balls, look in his balls every time.

Speaker 1:          01:21:44       Does nothing for me. They have, they have, they have videos all over the place on the Internet, like he's turned his wife sucking his dick and to like a website. That's an interesting way to go. Do you like it more if you'd like more violent videos? I don't like it. Well, I like her. She's not doing it violent. She's not throwing up something. I know that she can just do without gagging. That's the crazy thing. The other ones, like there's a lot of sasha great porn that fucking hard to watch. That chickens are a mile away. You did the first, uh, watching two girls, one cup video, right? Did you do that? It wasn't the first. Oh No, we did. It was watching. It was. The shot was on the reactions. What was that called? What's that called when? The reaction reaction? Video video. That was one of those.

Speaker 1:          01:22:31       It was good one for reaction videos because everybody knew by the sound of the music what was going on if you'd already seen it. That was a very odd sort of blip on the pop culture radar the day that that came out, right? Yeah. And there was this site dedicated to one video and everybody went and watched a couple of days, got millions and millions and millions of views. I joke about it and I bring it up on stage sometimes and it's incredible how many people have seen it. And I think what's interesting about it is it repulsed people so instantly that it didn't really catch on like it did. That hasn't since has it

Speaker 3:          01:23:05       where there's been one domain name comes out, you know, three girls more. Whatever you guys want to. There's nothing written. Two guys went, horse guy gets fucked to death by a horse. Oh, I've heard about that in Seattle and he had to change the law. Five hands. One girl was another one. Oh Jesus Christ. There was a guy, I think I've told this story before, but I'll tell you he made that up because you're hearing. That's what I'm saying. The point I'm making is that I know will take off. It was a dude that I know who's friend was dating

Speaker 5:          01:23:32       porn star and they were trying to. He was trying to reconcile the fact that she fucked guys and this was just a job and blah blah, blah blah blah. Just kinda like put it in the back of his head. And um, she came home with the contract and she's going over the different parts of the contract and he goes, what's, what's this air tight? And she goes, Oh, airtight means a dick. And every hall he goes, what? What am I asked? One of my pussy, one of my mouth. He goes, okay, this is over.

Speaker 3:          01:23:57       That was, that was a them airtight, cracked up the fact that they actually have a, a name for it, plugged up with Dick's. And then what are you gonna? Come home and cuddle after that. Share tight. Unbelievable. Yeah. And so, and, and, and what happened? He just walked out the door and never talked to her again. And I was fucking. Clinics would airtight. Yeah, they, I think, you know, when, when you've, your girlfriend's got airtight and her contract, that's really strange

Speaker 5:          01:24:23       thing that a lot of the people in the porn business do. They figure out a way to have boyfriends and girlfriends and be in relationships, but they still fuck the fuck other people when they work, but they're only allowed to do it when they're working.

Speaker 3:          01:24:33       Yeah, it must, it must because we're also, uh, you know, uh, accustomed to seeing it now that people probably out there actually can justify it in their mind because, oh, this is a legitimate profession here. There's one is the Tom Green sex tape come out when he was a pop. Is there barrymore dealing with 100 to a hundred different women's. You hate the hate MACs. What's that? Do you hate? What do you know? That's something I don't think I could ever ever see myself doing. Is there one that exists though that you know of? Uh, there's not, there's definitely not one that I know of. You know, you don't videotape yourself, you know, not regularly, but I think it's from paranoia of A. I'm not going to say I never did it once in my life, but you know, the, the thing is, is I immediately deleted it and was a strong move immediately deleted.

Speaker 3:          01:25:26       It didn't keep it around, you know, uh, honestly, you know, I didn't even really, really want to watch it to be honest with you. You loved it. Yeah. It was fun. The process of videotape, you don't want to watch it though. Not really. No. It was kind of freaked me out when I do it. I'm just so disgusted. It depresses me in the body, but I do have one. Well, what depresses you? Huh? What depresses me? It's just A. I don't know. Watching yourself as grown. Like, wait a minute, Brian, stop right now. Listen to how you're advertising your sex. You're a single man and you're saying you have depressing. I mean, would you, do you like watching yourself? Like do you masturbate and it like. I mean, do you masturbate with looking at yourself in the mirror? Why would you want to watch yourself watching yourself having sex and you try to recreate a life.

Speaker 3:          01:26:12       Wipe yourself on news radio. Why would you having sex? It doesn't depress me. God. No, I just don't like watching myself have sex. Okay, I see. I totally. I totally see what you're saying. It's disturbing. What about if you do pov style, that would be cool. That would be slapping iphone. Do you checks? That would be foreign press record. Slap an iphone. Do Charge capture as what did you do? Have one with me of when I was like 16 or 17, you know, using my dad's vhs camera that would make like old home movies about carrots attack me and Steph and I would like set it up in my room and stuff and I have one of like, but then I look at it and like, can I get in trouble for watching myself? You know, your child pornography with yourself. Well, could I get for myself their girlfriend?

Speaker 3:          01:26:54       Yeah. Yeah, probably. Right. I should just throw that tape right. Well you got get arrested. Probably if you could be public, could be illegal master patient. It could be considered a child pornography to catch kids for 16 years old. Could you be charged for being in possession of child pornography? Is that kids are getting their cell phones taken away and they find photos of them. Girls are getting charged with child pornography because they have a photo of themselves for themselves that they sent to him. Boy, they're charged with child pornography. So you probably should destroy that tape. White tape. Well that's like the, you know the old tape, isn't it? To allegedly had a to B, how many gay guys are frantically searching the internet for a video of Brian at 15 masturbating. Not a nice thought. No, not for me personally, but you know, but the, the, the, uh, the um, podcast. Tom Green.

Speaker 3:          01:27:53       No. So wait, what was the, what was the thing then? So, uh, um, yeah, and it was let's change. Let's change the topic, right? Sex tapes is marijuana. Yeah. And you know what the subject was getting depressed. Watching yourself. Fuck. Yup. And that he should do pov style. I love it. When your song was released and then w was destroying the charts for Tlc and then you gay, you trl, trl. And then did you, were you forced to get rid of? Guess I was forced to for 98 degrees. That whole thing was, it's a very, um, it's a very, uh, you know, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a little bit of intrigue here behind the story because there was, you know, some, some things done trl that were not necessarily ever made public. Right. Okay. Well fill me full detail. What happened? What happened, like the to the, and trl isn't necessarily, it's not necessarily live and all the time, so it's not on anymore. Nobody knows the song. What was the song and what happened? Okay. So we went to Seattle and we were filming bits and Seattle and we thought, hey, this would be funny to do the song called the bum bumps on it. My favorite songs, ridiculous idea.

Speaker 4:          01:29:02       And I would go and it was just a silly video. Me going around Seattle saying Obama's on the cheese, my bum's on the rail albums in the boat. My bumps on the duck. It was a silly sort of like a doctor zoo style nursery rhyme, rap and, and the, and the comedy of it was me out in the street sticking my ass on everything and confusing people and filming the reactions. Right. And singing this silly song. And then we played it on my show and we said we want this to go to number one on total request live, which is, you know, their countdown music show that they would have every night hosted by Carson Daly. And I'm. So we played it on Seattle radio and it went to number one. Instantly. This was when my show was on MTV. It was, it was really doing well. Show on MTV show was doing well on MTV. People went to number one, people saw the absurdity of this song knocking 98 degrees, Brittany Spears in sync and whoever else was on the j Lo, I think out of the, out of the number one spot. And so we went. We played it on the show, we asked people to vote for it, people voted for it. It went to number one on Tuesday. Okay. The show I think aired on a Monday. It went to number one on a Tuesday. This is the song. Yeah.

Speaker 4:          01:30:11       My mom like fucking a huge. This song was. And this was the first song to be like, this was right when mp three s just started. So it was the number one downloaded song that year. I thought you. I think 14 people downloaded it. It was a. It was. No, no, this was 1999 to 2009. So what happened? So they squashed your song? Yeah, it went to number one on Tuesday, then on Wednesday on Wednesday it was number one, number one again. Okay. And then on Thursday it was number one again and then we get a call on Thursday at the office and they're saying, guys, we want you to kind of play ball with us here. And we're like, well what's the deal? He said, well, you know, we need, we need you to go on the show on Friday and retire the bum bum song and take it off the countdown.

Speaker 4:          01:31:00       And we're like, why? It's the number one song in America on TV, man. Yeah, right. Is Amazing. Right? Money off this. This is unbelievable. Let's keep it number one. They go, well the thing is we've pre taped the show next week because Carson's going to be in San Francisco and all this stuff. So we're Kinda, it's Kinda like who we think's going to be and we hadn't predicted you erin the show on Monday and it instantly going to number one, so it kind of screws up next week's pre-taped, which is all in the can. So can you go on on a Friday and just retire it and we'll give you like a retirement home plaque and here I was on MTV and I had my show on MTV and I didn't want to get fired. Right. Everybody's already mad at me about all this other shit screaming at me all day about, you know, I want to suck milk out of cows better because I think it'll be crazy. Let's put it on TV. And they're like, can't you can't do that. We're arguing nonstop. It was like, it was the most stressful time of my life and that's saying something because I'm pretty stressed out right now to, not right now, but most of the time, you know, and so, so I'm on the show and I'm getting yelled at all the time by everybody. Everyone's always screaming at each other, trying to know, make the show crazy

Speaker 3:          01:31:59       or make it less crazy. And then so, you know, I played ball, I went in, I got a nice plaque and you know what? I'm not even to be honest with you. Not Well, yeah. You know, I think of it now. I think, you know, we could have rode that thing a little further. I could have put out a record. I probably could have know had some fun with that. But um, yeah, that's what happened. That's what happened. That's, that's interesting man. That's fucked. You're fucked by the corporations. Yeah, exactly. It was a sense that they would probably cost them a fuck load of money in theater already. Pre-Taped reshoot five shows and it's like, how crazy is that? Now you find out what the rankings are like. It's totally, they prop them up. It probably had deals with the record company, like we need to push 98 degrees and here's $100,000 we need to probably it's illegal.

Speaker 3:          01:32:41       I mean that's definitely did that. They did that. I never heard any. Just making shit up. No, no. I'm just throwing shit on the table. I never did anything like that. I think it was just basically it was a very strange week and uh, they, they, they sort of said it wasn't for that week. That song could have stayed on the countdown and because I can't. Basically that week was a Republican Republic of the week before and what are you doing Brian? To be screaming. They ended the song. Was that video going out to and that's an Ipad, which is pretty awesome, but it's actually just streaming on the ipad but it's not going out. That's pretty cool. People can hear the audio audio but you know, I've, I've, I've told that story before. I don't think anyone at MTV cares anymore. It's on. Well, why would they care? Fuck you.

Speaker 3:          01:33:24       You're the one supposed to care. You could have got paid. So driving that fucking song right now in the form of a Red Ferrari. Yeah, that's true. I'm saying it could be rolling with a big fat diamond encrusted watch. Let bitches know and they'd be like, Tom Green, how'd you get? So rich bum, bum, bum bum song was on. Try to pull it off the an into eminem song. It's just try to pull it off the end. I was like a song on song and oh you know those same song when eminem rapped about an m and m wrap. M and m took the line from the bung bumps on. He says, why can't I go on TV and let loose when it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead Moose? My bum is on your lips, but bumpers on your lips and if you get lucky I'll give it a little kiss that seven.

Speaker 3:          01:34:10       I'm doing that. And the thing that's funny about that, which is really cool, is that like, you know that song, it's like I hear that all over the world. It says your name in it, right? So you're walking through something, you're walking through an airport in Amsterdam or something and it's like, you know, you hear him rapping about it. It's pretty cool. Who would've thought that m and M would have? I mean I guess it was pretty awesome and it came up, but I mean just to be around. I have not met him. No, but he let us use that song and Freddy got fingered through. You know, we had to license it but he doesn't license music out that much. He gives a sweet deal. We've got to put it in the credit roll of Freddy got fingered. So that was pretty cool. Thank you. That is awesome. Thank you. Very cool. Marshall mathers. You know, that's pretty cool. Do you still write music? Do you have to think about doing another hits? You don't have

Speaker 4:          01:34:58       a friend of mine who is a really cool producer here in town who uh, who, uh, I make music with sometimes the names detail and he does a lot of cool music and uh, I just do it for fun. I have a home studio for fun. You got to the pro tools and the MAC computer and he's cool. Yeah. So you got your fingers in all aspects of show business. You're always doing something more like a hobby, you know, it's more just a fun thing, but it's a fun thing. You know, the songs I make are so ridiculous that they're never, I don't think I'm really there ever would be sort of any mainstream.

Speaker 5:          01:35:27       So I think the standup thing is an interesting subject because you didn't do standup for a long time. You did stand up when you were like 15, 16 and then you stopped for like God, what? Twenty years?

Speaker 4:          01:35:38       Uh Huh. I would do it sort of occasionally but never sort of as I had an act that I was working on. Launched it. What made you decide to want to get back into it? Uh, you know about a,

Speaker 5:          01:35:48       a boot boot. Yeah, I do. That still has the one that's the one word that I get nailed on gifts. Sear goes sincere. You go deep detail. Canadian beer, a boat. Uh, you know, I do when I can do what I can, I just sort of drink a drink when I can. And so what happened? So,

Speaker 4:          01:36:06       uh, well about two years ago, Rob Schneider came on my show as a guest on the web show and uh, his brother John also came up and started hanging out with those guys and it was maybe about a year and a half ago, John said, he know rob's doing stand up now too. He's been touring all year and he said, rob's gonna start doing stand up. You should start doing standup. And I thought, you know, this would be pretty cool way. First of all, it's something that I've been thinking about since I was a kid and I was very intimidated by it. I was afraid of it. It was in the back of my head. I was kind of thinking, you know, you know, I don't know, just, you know, I was so used to doing the show and I remember how hard it was when I was a teenager, you know, when you're 15 years old, standing up in front of a bunch of college kids, you know, it's, it was, it was, it was tough.

Speaker 4:          01:36:48       Things were stressful thing. So I've done it over the years, hosting shows and things like this in front of the audience, but not having the act. Rob was doing it. He was going around jumping up at clubs around town, at the Ice House in Pasadena and to the belly room at the comedy store. And, and, uh, we just kind of going around and trying out stuff and it sort of instantly was, you know, instantly was something that I immediately was kind of. I thought Jesus, you know, why did I not start doing this sooner? This is just such a great thing. You know, part of it also is I've been living in La for 10 years. I got this web studio in my house, you know, Kinda thinking, you know, you know, I got to get out of the house sometime here in la. I need something social to do that's not going to sit in some loud nightclub drinking with people. You know, what, Hey, this is something that really kind of wrap my hands around. I also was missing getting up in front of an audience, you know, the radio, the web show is in the living room so you don't have the audience. So it's just been, it's been an amazing time. And, and uh, you know, basically did it for about six months and in La just jumping up and writing, writing, writing, writing, lots of stuff. And uh, I've, I've off, I've been here,

Speaker 3:          01:37:56       I've got to go to Australia for the first time, but you're doing like an hour onstage and it went down. Is Very few people have ever gone from, I don't do standup too. I'm headlining on the road performing on stage for an hour. That's a pretty incredible. When you used to have to actually go about an hour and 15 when you used to do stand up, how long did you used to do like you used to do a long, long, long, long time ago. But no one. I was thinking I was like do you know at, at, at, at its peak, about 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes. Middle, middle end. But it was five to seven minutes opening act and amateur night at first. You know. Tell me how you, how, how you concocted this tour. I mean, how many, how long have you been doing standup before you said, all right, I'm going to take this to the road now.

Speaker 3:          01:38:35       Basically what happened was I was jumping up all around town and the Norm Mcdonald asked me to open up from one night and do some shows with him one night just to kind of get, you know, keep practicing. And then, uh, and uh, essentially, um, I and Sarah [inaudible] from [inaudible] who came to all my shows and said, you know what, I'm going to book you on a tour. And I said, well, that's pretty cool. And she now. Okay. How many months is this into your stent? I've been nine months on the road and she's been between the time you got back on stage at the time you started. How long was that? Uh, this was probably about six months or something like that. Crazy. So you very much with the intention of I want to go on the road. And it's very impressive that you were able to put together over an hour of material in six months.

Speaker 3:          01:39:20       That's amazing, isn't it? You know, I thought I was doing the same jokes again last night. You're developing new shit out of nowhere. And my friend Mike Young did some shit that he did nine years ago last night. You know, I approached it from a really kind of the way I approach doing my television show or my web show very from very like I would, I would, I would be writing all the time and trying to build up the diligence, jumping up to and stuff. I organized it all out in paper and how he. Is that what you're doing? Yeah. I just don't know. I just, you know, for the first, for the first, for the first few months of doing our set, I had a, I had a set list. I actually took on stage with me and I'd set it on the, on the stool, so my water on it.

Speaker 3:          01:39:59       I do my bits and then I'd, if I've got lost, I'd look down. That's a good move. You know Doug Benson brings a notes on stage and goes, look, you don't want me to be stumbled around wondering what the fuck I'm talking about. This is good. But eventually after, after awhile though, I was feeling like it was kind of a bit of a crutch because I like to. I'm trying to be really physical. You don't have to use it, you know the thing. The thing about it. No, I don't use no notes, but the thing about notes, the good thing is that they're, you know, if you need them, they're there. You know? It's like why not have it there? Yeah. No, there's sometimes you're like, I want to hear. Like Joey Diaz will say, what the fuck was I talking about? What the fuck was I talking about? Right. Oh, that's it. And you tell him and then he's got the story and it would just run and ramble on to the story. Sometimes you just need a little note. Yeah. I think I might start putting new stuff that I've never done before on notes and pulling that out at some point or setting. There's something I can remember. All this stuff I've done for once. I've done it three or four times, I can remember it, but usually I can't remember it. There's something about writing things down on paper that's really

Speaker 5:          01:40:54       good for your memory to actually the act of creating a note makes it solidify in your mind and when you use your memory, you can recall like what you wrote, like you could see it in the order. I just have a set list of just your basic cool. The iphone thing. Setlist is cool. That's definitely better than nothing, but I think writing something down on paper seems to have the most effect. It seems to be sticks better. Yeah. So do you, when you wrote out your act, did you write out a ver, a beginning, a middle and an end? Did you put it all together verbatim or do you ad Lib when you're on stage?

Speaker 4:          01:41:25       Uh, yeah. Initially I sort of a yeah, I ad Lib a lot on stage, but I have this sort of pretty solid began like I know where I'm nowhere I'm going to start. I know I'm going to do when I start, I know when I'm going to do, when I'm finished actually pretty much know the order I'm going to go in through the bits that I've tried and tested and then uh, but then often I'll kind of go off into the audience between bits for a second and talk to some people for a second. And, but uh, but what's happened is it sort of evolved over the year, like last nine months of doing it is every week I'll kind of go, you know, maybe this is a little too depressing, have a subject matter to talk off the top. So then I'll move it sort of later in the act.

Speaker 4:          01:42:06       And then it's kind of a, it's been fun. It's been really fun and challenging, you know, doing it and a sort of shuffling things around all the time. And so it's, it's been cool and I write bits down in my phone, in my notepad, in my phone if I think something weird and then I'll go home and I'll type it up in the computer. And so do you type it up as a joke or do you type up bullet points, like what do you do? I usually write it out word for word with punchlines and exactly how I'm going to say it and then I edit it and I get it exactly what I want to be and then you know, and then I try to sort of remember it and then usually the first time I say it on stage, I forget about half of the taglines, forget about half of them and then I, but I say it but then I get off the stage and I immediately remember, Oh, I forgot that, that, that.

Speaker 4:          01:42:51       And I think the disappointment of forgetting them makes it easier to remember the next time because then I go look at them again. I go, got to remember this tag line, this line. And so it's sort of, it's interesting. It is interesting because you really, it really is kind of cool, you know, I mean again this first year of doing this full time night after night, but to see what people tell you, no, you got to get up. It's like a muscle, you get up on stage, you start to pertain it differently and, and you know, you know, there's been obviously periods for two, three weeks where I haven't done a show this year and then, you know, you get back on, it's weird. You can't remember anything

Speaker 5:          01:43:21       cool a week or two off all the time and want to come back on stage. I'm like, I always have to do a warmup set. I'd do something in town in La and then it charges it and then that's the only time. Well that's the time where I'll go over material just to familiarize myself with what I've been talking about most recently. So I have like my iphone records all my sense and I get recordings from Brian too. So then I take them and I put them on my ipod and I just listened to my plans.

Speaker 4:          01:43:43       Yeah. Oh yeah. So it makes you dissect your shit also unconfident audio record and be better than what you're listening to. You know, you want to tighten it up and this, that Oh yeah.

Speaker 5:          01:43:52       That's cool. And you're not hearing it for the first time. You're hearing it for the 400th time and it's, you know, you really start breaking shit.

Speaker 4:          01:43:58       So you recorded in an ipod or

Speaker 5:          01:44:01       sometimes I'm the iphone. Sometimes I feel from him. He

Speaker 4:          01:44:04       plugs up. Oh yeah. Good idea. That's helpful because then you can hear the little things that you say. So you're enjoying it, man. You're enjoying this whole process. So yeah, it's been really, really fun. And you know, I like what we were talking about when, when we were having coffee when I got here in the kitchen, you know, we're talking about, you were talking about how it's just nice to be in an independent thing where you know, you want to come up with a crazy idea and it was a funny thought and you go up and you can try it and there's no, you know, somebody coming in and telling you not to say this or do that. That's it.

Speaker 5:          01:44:35       That's the most frustrating thing for anybody. Controversial. Like you is got to be a bunch of executives that have their ideas about what they think is going to be funny and they're imposing it and you're like, look, it may not be funny for you. It might not be funny for three people in this room, but for people in this room, I think it's the funny shit they've ever seen and you're going for those four people and these people can never see that. All they can see is, but you're losing three. You just took this back. This person would still like it yet still get the original people and we'd have two more people that like it. Yeah. That's how they think. They think in these nutty numbers and they're not thinking creative

Speaker 4:          01:45:07       and then you end up spending most of your time dealing with that and at the end, at the end of it all, you're never really sure what it would have been if you'd just sort of gone wild on your own. Beautiful, great freedom and just being on the road has been really fun. It's been really fun. It's been a good way. I also thought it'd be cool way to go out and film stuff for my website because I always wanted to. I've always said, hey, it'd be cool to take my web show, you know, and go to different cities and see the people that watched the web show, you know, people call in on Tom Green.com, you know, they call it on skype. I know. Recognize every show I go to. It's so bizarre. You know, every show I go to, I recognize 10 people saying, Hey John, how you doing?

Speaker 4:          01:45:46       You know, I've never been to the city before, you know, and it's like, hey, we gotta set up skype. Dude, we've got four Chan. You scared of fortune? Yeah. Don't be scared. Oh yeah, that's fine. That's fine. That's just somebody to fuck with you. Scared of them. She never admitted. I fucked up. I'm not scared of you already fucked up. You already. Fuck. I wanted to join them. Now we're talking about, you know, the thing is, is with the. I mean to give you a little bit of a, of an idea here. Okay. So what we've done in my eyesight, because four Chan was, was I, I found, did some fairly clever and ridiculous and absurd prank calls on us constantly. They are completely irrelevant and obviously the most annoying thing because it's completely irrelevant. I'm sitting here with guests, right? So. But that was on the phone, but on skype it's a, it's a much more difficult for them to do that because we've created a system which I'll tell you about off air actually. I'll tell you about off air. Off Air. So I motherfuckers you aint

Speaker 1:          01:46:50       getting to stay one step ahead. Step ahead of the four Chan guys, bell all system for skype that you can actually use that will help help in that area for Chan. Don't do it. Fucked up. You heard everybody's ears and you pissed a bunch of people off. They're coming after you now dude. Fucked up. So we went after that bitch that through puppies in the river. They got her. Was that loud for Cenk? Got that. It was all right. Just a little annoyance. Um. Well Tom Bring. I'm losing my hearing because of stuff like that too. Did you want me to. I think I'm starting to lose my hearing. I have noticed a lot of times I'm in conversations with people and they're talking to me as if I should be able to hear what they're saying the same. Same with me and I'm like thinking maybe I'm just not paying attention to them, but I can't hear them. Call it. Having your years blown out from people, is that what it is or is it just a bunch of people that are talking all soft talk, like a fucking normal person. Some people just mumbled certain frequencies to when people have sort of that frequency of noisy area.

Speaker 1:          01:47:48       Tell me how annoying is that? What kind of stuff do you talk about? That is the dumbest question. I mean, I know it's a relevant question, but for, for a comic, what? What are you. What are the things you're talking about right now? Well, when we tell you, I think Sarah Pailin is dumb. Yeah, let me do the bit right now. Which doesn't really. You know, killer whales are smart. You shouldn't be in pools are going to run out. You have a lot of Ufo stuff going on, Huh? It wasn't there and I go into a little UFO, but somebody. Exactly what you're talking. Because I think that people, when they ask that question, you don't understand how important the audiences when you're telling these things, it's so much part of it. So you know, you need the audience there. That's cool. So wait Ufo thing, if you have you been paying attention to what's going on?

Speaker 1:          01:48:38       That's something that an appointed a liaison or a spokesperson for the American for, for the human race rather in communication. When aliens land. Really it's some weird looking chick. She was like very like, it's not Sarah Pale man looking. She's the person that they're not to. Don't get me wrong. She's a strange looking. She's the person that we're going to talk to. She's speaking for you. Shouldn't we have some sort of insight? Fuck the UN over the world. I don't know what the pucker just like. Is that like just like, oh, and if we ever get attacked by aliens, you have. They did this. Maybe. Maybe like a resident firefighter. Maybe. It's just like that's the most basic part. I hope so because you imagine that's a fulltime job. Can you imagine if she gets like 100 grand a year in benefits and all she has to just sit around and wait for the answer. Call feet up. Reading US magazine. Yeah. Keep up to date and what's important? Who the fuck it looked? The aliens don't give a fuck about who the leader is. They don't give a shit. If they were going to come here from another galaxy. They're the leader. There is no leader. You don't get to represent like the aliens don't care. What's the fucking number one aunt you know? Do you ever look at who's the one aunt before I kill

Speaker 5:          01:49:48       all you people. He just killed all the answers. There's no discussion. Yeah. You don't to have communication with ants over. You know who's going to die and whether or not you guys can move out. No. You just killed them all and if that's what aliens decide to do to us, we'll do the same thing to us that we do. The monkeys that we do to dolphins that we did a killer whales, but they treat us well. They should be like that monkey that was holding the kitten the other day. They might just come down and cradle us. It might be the exact opposite. They might just be like, hey, we just want to comb your hair and fuzzy to Baka type creatures that come down. Just want to. It's. I try to keep these thoughts, these ideas of Ufo aliens. I tried to keep him away from my consciousness because I think they're giant time-wasters contemplate what if the aliens are really these Ufo videos real?

Speaker 5:          01:50:32       I'm open. I'm open to the possibility that there are aliens, but I'm not gonna. Sit around and watch some fucking lights in the sky that I don't know what the fuck it is. It turned out it was actually a helicopter and you're actually retarded, you know? Oh, you know, I mean maybe this is. It was a prank when those little helicopters that he souped up and has a couple leds and I'm not closed to the idea that there are something there that it is possible that there are some sort of intelligent life forms out there that are capable of traveling here, whether they're from another planet or another dimension. It wouldn't be ridiculous, but everything about this life would be ridiculous. We weren't living it. The idea that we can get the Internet would be ridiculous if it didn't exist. The idea that you could send pictures from your phone, the idea that you had to have a phone that fits in your pocket and you call someone in China and to talk in real time.

Speaker 5:          01:51:19       Everything is so small condensed now. It's so much smaller now. It's also strange that it's going to feel entirely possible. There's something super advanced past this and they can communicate with us and it's probably could be here right now watching us, but these guys that came out today or that you were. You were talking about last couple days that are air force generals, etc. That have been sworn to secrecy for last 50 years or whatever that say that, uh, you know, they came and checked out some nuclear, um, our nuclear sites and that they shut off some nuclear weapons and they're all saying that this happened. Do you Think that happened? Or it could be one of two things. Well, it can be many things, but one of the things that it could be that I was thinking is maybe these guys are like being paid by the government to say absolutely ridiculous things and that nothing ever really happened at all.

Speaker 5:          01:52:06       And what there are is a part of some sort of a disinflation campaign and then eventually turn out. They lied about a few details and that will discredit the whole story. And it just makes aliens seem more and more ridiculous to calm people down because maybe there may be some things that they can't keep wraps on. And when those things are leaked, the best way to diffuse the impact that some, some sort of a crazy event or video. The best way to diffuse the impact would be to show all these other ones have similar stories that seem absolutely ridiculous, so it automatically gets lumped into, oh, it's a ufo video. Oh, you're crazy. Oh, you believe that? And so it automatically puts it into that category. I mean, that's an effective psychological tactic. If you were someone like the cia or someone in the nsa, someone who's of a super intelligence community, they know how to fucking manipulate people, don't, don't make no mistake about it. They absolutely do. So it could be that or it could be that these people really saw some shit and they don't even know what the fuck it is. It could be that you know that they're all crazy. there's, there's a bunch of bs, but until I see something, until some shit comes into my life, I'm just wasting my time. I just don't want to sit around thinking, you know, whether or not half this shit is real. And rob [inaudible], did he really work at area?

Speaker 4:          01:53:14       Do you want to know that guy? I saw that guy. I've watched all. I got addicted to watching that stuff for a lot, for, for a good year. I was addicted to watching all this stuff and, and uh, and, and talk to this disclosure, you know, they're gonna get, they're gonna tell us soon. They're just prepping us for it, you know, the disclosure project. I really do hope that, uh, they tell us soon because I think that would be pretty cool, man.

Speaker 5:          01:53:34       I think there's a lot of people scrambling trying to figure out a bunch of different things that don't make sense and I think it's very possible that there are some alien life forms, but I do not think that our government has shit under control enough to keep all that shit under wraps and to somehow or another be communicating with these things. I think if the government knows anything about ufo is they know barely more than the average person knows and they have some evidence and they keep that shit under wraps with they have cleared up some evidence. Perhaps. Maybe if it's true, maybe you know, you hear all the area 51 stories and the roswell stories and you know, the crashes has been recovered all over the country. There's has been crashes, recovered supposedly in Pennsylvania, in the woods, and who knows how much of that shit's bullshit. Who knows how much of that stuff is just some sort of a prototype that the us government was working on.

Speaker 5:          01:54:16       It didn't work and it crashed. You know who the fuck knows, but I'm open. I'm open to the possibility that that's just the fact that we exist to ants. Okay? Then that means the way the universe works, things become ever more complicated to keep going in the same direction over and over again. If human beings came from emmy buzz and all sudden someday evolve to become human beings, what? Whatever the fuck. We were a single celled organisms that we became us. There's gonna be a similar group of evolution from us to something else, so it literally will be. The aliens will be treating us the same way we treat a fucking ant colony. Look at these silicons. I'll get these silly concert, their pollution. They're stupid building.

Speaker 4:          01:54:51       See, I'm hoping what it is is these ships that come, right? They come and they start talking to us and then eventually it started to open up and they come on, they look exactly like us, right? They look exactly like us and what it is we've spent. We've spread. Maybe we've got, maybe they got like and know. We're like ants, right? They got similar. What's so great about us? So then we get in this thing and you get to go to another planet instantly with our technology and it's got more space. It's not all. There's no pollution and they've, you know, sorta like that. That's what I'm kinda hoping for. And that's why I'm kind of angling for. I'm hoping for that. You want utopia. That's beautiful. You should write a book saying that you know, it's true. You don't start a call. Yeah. And then drink a bunch of grape kool aid and they have to go crazy. That was an africa, isn't it? Uh, it was a diana. Yeah. Was it cool to diana tragedy? Jon jones? It's ncd amazing, isn't it? That self american radio was south America, Guyana, south Guyana

Speaker 1:          01:55:44       in south America. As you heard the audio, are you fucking crazy? Scary, so scary. If you don't know the story of jim jones was a cult leader, moved all of his people to Guyana, wherever that is. I thought it was africa, sounds african and they all drank, drank. He made them all poison themselves and then they shot a bunch of people to. We didn't want to take the poison congressmen flew down there to see them and uh, you know, the way they poisoned them was they put the cyanide in grape kool aid and that's why they, they, they say don't drink, don't drink the koolaid. That's where that saying comes from. Yeah. And that's the, you know, the pretty major it. It resulted in a saying cultural. Yeah. Cultural tag. Don't treat pissed about that to you. Why would they, when they're so delicious, they worry.

Speaker 1:          01:56:26       Why would truly give a fuck? Because they're connected to a mass murder for a long time. I wonder how we should research, find out what their sales were up or down. That's probably why hawaiian punch was born. Probably came out after that. They changed their name. You might be rankeD top green. I think that's a good note to end it on. Absolutely. This has been awesome. Is a lot of fun. We've been on for like a couple of hours or something. Two hours. That's amazing. Let's go because we get to go into depth about subjects, you know? I find that like when we were doing an hour, we would just start talking about things. Then all of a sudden we'd run out of time and I'm like, why can't we just keep going? I love what you said that when I was on your show, it was just so much fun.

Speaker 1:          01:57:05       It's like it seems like it'd be more fun if we got to keep going. It's just to get into a really time. Really. Cool. Thank you very much. Very much for doing it, man. I appreciate you coming by and it's so awesome that I can just run into brian and I'd love to have you come back and do the webinar vision deficit soon.com and run into each other at a comedy club and then all of a sudden, boom, you know, we're. We're hanging out in pocket. That show that you did is actually on time. Green.com right now. You can go watch it and follow me on twitter at tom green live and tom green if you, if you haven't seen his show, he has a whole web. We were talking about the show. He and I did his whole like literally like a tonight show on the internet.

Speaker 1:          01:57:40       It's a brilliant thing and I loved it and it inspired me to do this. This was the first thought in my mind of putting something together on the internet. You get my tour dates on there. Come see me in san francisco this weekend. Convert tom green, tom green.com, and at tom green live it'll link to it also, but on the. On twitter, but I'm an cobb's comedy club in san francisco this weekend. I've never been there before. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. Great club. And then uh, um, minneapolis and the next week and then Canada. Powerful kennedy's coming home. But just. Alright. Thank you very much everybody. We will see you probably it looks like next wednesday, monday or wednesday depending on who I can get for next week. But uh, thanks for tuning in and love you bitches

Speaker 6:          01:58:26       on this one. The dog is on the phone.

Speaker 1:          01:58:33       No.