LNh1upO_RhU.txt

Speaker 1:          00:00:00       Company I made 12 bucks an hour, but that's all I need. I live with a small apartment on the street. I don't go out too much. I like to watch TV. I can't afford a car. I use public transportation. I don't mind. I read until I reach my destination. Sometimes a newspaper, sometimes the amount of money at save the shit is off the hook end up. Not every good with the women. I'm a pretty sharp person and an average look. Last time I had sex was in 2003 in a machine, but it wasn't free. I'm just regular everyday. Normal guy. I get nervous in social situations about the and regular normal guy. I can't concentrate and once a month mother fuck us to regular normal guy and I make pretty good spaghetti sauce. Motherfuckers to break the law and Bridgette, normal guy and I get scared.

Speaker 2:          00:00:53       Cool. See the fences? Pauly, pauly. Shore of everyday life can be and he doesn't know about it. No, I know he does. His buddy. I'm too busy. Manager wanted me to do something like is some specialty was doing. I'm like, he does not know. He's never heard. Anything I've done just wants you because you're, you becoming famous.

Speaker 3:          00:01:22       Yara joined on the podcast today by Genre Lushwala. That is the correct pronunciation, sir. I got it right. Thank you. It sounds sexy. Fantastic comedian from Montreal, Canada, Montreal, Canada, one of my favorite cities in the world. Uh, before we even get started, we're sponsored by the fleshlight. If you go to Joe Rogan dotnet and enter in the code name Rogan, you get 15 percent off. Have you ever used one of those things by uh, you know what, I'm going to be weird. I've used like A. I don't know if it's a competitor thing, like I haven't, but I could, you know, any birth. I mean, how could you not know if you guys have for me? Should definitely, I'd love to. I love this one has been around and everybody's been finger in it since the beginning of the year, so we're going to have to get you a new one now.

Speaker 3:          00:02:04       I'll take that one. It's the first time. I don't want to be caught at home with the butthole version. At least you get caught with the vagina version. It's like, yeah, you're a pervert, but you know, whatever. If you just run around just hey, it's just tighter, better Robert Bundles better. Right? Tighter girls are better just. But what it represents, man represents girls. You want to fuck girls on the butts, so bad, fake one and not even like the rest of the girl attached to it. You don't even have a fake body. You just have the fake bundle. It just stuffed it in that fake butthole, like some fucking feet, but sex fiend, a way to sell them and it's a fucking fantastic thing though. Here. It feels like put your fingers when no one has had sex with a couple of dudes of fingertip think Eddie Bravo licked his finger before he stuck it in there. Oh yeah. Weird. Right?

Speaker 3:          00:02:52       Like, I don't care what Saturday. Me fucking this fucking my hands. Yeah, exactly. It's a weird thing though. It, it's, it's most certainly absolutely embarrassing. It's embarrassing to allow people buying it would be the worst, but now you can get online, which is. It's like they only get you with stuff like that. If you get embarrassed by it, then it becomes a shameful thing. Like if someone comes in my office and goes, fuck this thing, do you fuck this thing? I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck it. Like, what do you care? You know, you can't get me with that. But to a lot of people know, you say to them, Hey, what do you fucking that tube over there? And they get red and they feel like a loser. I can't let other motherfuckers define you. Ladies and gentlemen. That's my message. All right, fuck that.

Speaker 3:          00:03:36       Fuck that tube son. Fuck it. My cleaning lady just like, she comes in and like, I have shit, you know, that tissues should not even just like, just like stuff, you know, some fun toys that I use with some. Oh Lady Dildos and shit. God damn man goes deep cleaning lady. She's like, she'll clean my plate and this will be like, oh. She'll find them and just put them on top of a dresser. Like it'd be like, what the fuck is that like for her picking up your dirty, slimy frosted? It looks like a donut, like frosted donut. Deldot clean. Just lying on the bed recently. Have you noticed like girls, like, like different girlfriends don't like using like old dildos. Like with the. I always had the girls. Well I started to like try to put them in nights, own packaging and stuff like that.

Speaker 3:          00:04:29       No mother fucker. That's ridiculous. How much is the Dildo that only like $10. I buy good ones. You know like the whatever, the dolphins and the Dolphin. It's like $90. That's like the playstation of fucking deal that girls like this has been inside some other girl's pussy with you and like push shoving it in there. Like she doesn't want his fingers. They're washed. That's good points. These are, it is a good point but it doesn't matter because it's still your body and somehow or that it makes it okay. Yeah. Some rubber, rabbit, rabbit and asshole at the same time it was a rabbit. It's worse also that you bought it specifically to fuck some other girl with it. Like it wasn't like, oh, I found this lying around and I just fucked this other girl is like, you bought it with this other sugars and fucked her with it, and then you're like, oh, I'm not with her anymore and now I'm with this other.

Speaker 3:          00:05:26       You got to be careful getting into that fucking robotics world. No, she fucking setting a pace. You can't really match up with what you. A chip with one of those rabbit things and it's beating the fuck out of the sides of her pussy and just Anderson Silva knee and the size of her buzzy. Just slamming it down. That little rabbit ears or janitor and her butthole. What do you do with your average Dick? Human. Yeah. What are you gonna do with that fleshy little soft thing that you know that you've got to worry about? If she gets on top, she might break it down. It happened, man, where it almost breaks when you get a fallout and then it hits the tank. Pulls that dude. God's got to the hospital for this shit. Are you serious? Yes. You can tear your, your Dick Breaks and not only does it break, but a lot of times it stays crooked forever. Oh, I think I broke my dick before that. But you did, man. I bet. I think I broke mine a little. I didn't think it was possible, so I always just went, ah, yeah, because it's going to break over time. An old ship fucking hit too many rocks. It looks like a broken naive man. Spilt beer, rotten. A deck. A lot of waves hitting the left side.

Speaker 3:          00:06:40       There's this dude. I'm my message board. I fucking. I'm sorry man. I forget your name, but he's a. He has a fucking giant hog and his pictures like totally bent digs, like completely bent to the right, so much so that it subverted and that's his name on the message board. It's so. His Dick is so ridiculous. It looks like it's photoshop. I mean there's no way it could be that fat because he's a little dude, giant Dick and no way. It could be taking such a hard angle and he sends it to chicks and created some drama line because he sent it to some girls, sent you a picture of his dick, puts them online, man. Guy Put them online for everybody to see. I would love to have my dick like pointed up, like bent up. So it just hit the top of the girls. How many pictures have you seen online of the dudes that you know? I'm really. I mean

Speaker 4:          00:07:26       no,

Speaker 3:          00:07:27       I mean on the message board. Everybody's fortunately more impersonal because we hang out with comics. Is it like that John is from Montreal, Canada? Is it, is it like that up there to do with their dicks out all the time or is it too cold? I think it's a little, but I had a buddy who had the prince Albert thing. Oh, a piercing of whipping on his dick and show the fuck is up with that guy. Seriously. Had some fucking crazy shit. I've never looked at my ticket. Thought about throwing some metal through it, like a hole through the tear. What are you fucking like? Whoa. Cut Open like a sausage. Have you seen everything?

Speaker 3:          00:08:06       No, no, no, no, no. It's another one. There's like a ring like right through the tip of the Prince Albert, but the other one that you're talking about as a more of a body modification, they cut into the penis and they slice it open like a hot dog. It's common. It's common. It's really common. So what. Okay. So is the whole hot dog in a microwave? What spreads must just spray all over the fucking place. I have no control over the pis. You know, it looks horrendous to. It looks terrifying. But bb t here like. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, some Weirdo just wants to change the way looks. You'd have a listening to some fucking. I Dunno. Indie rock albums. Records Dude. Butcher your Dick. That's a weird thing man. It's a weird thing when you know, it's like where do draw that line? You know when you see a chick with a lip ring, like, whoo, you gotta ring on your lip, your upper lip, there's a ring on it, a metal ranked.

Speaker 3:          00:09:03       How far are you willing to go because you're already in crazy town. You've already got the staples in your face. Who fucking free? What are you doing? You ever a girl with the clit ring? That's Kinda cool though. It's kind of cool, but it also kind of seems like she's a mess. Oh go. And you know what you're getting. If you're decorating down there, it's because you have open houses all the time. Going down here. I'm like, wait a minute, dude. You gotta write that down. That's an ad Lib. Shit. That's a bit. Don't forget that one will hold. We'll hold here. Okay. That's it. That's a god damn genius beer. That's hilarious. It is. There's a thing about girls with clit rings. You got to know that if a girl's decorating down there, she's having open houses all the time. Know that Shit, man. Okay, I see.

Speaker 3:          00:09:50       I can't sit down and write comedy and then all of a sudden I just fucking. I do the same thing, man. I have ideas and I have to slam them onto a piece of paper or I have to get it down as quick as possible too because five minutes later I'm like a fucking idiot savant. I don't know what I said. That's why these podcasts are actually pretty good because you can actually write comedy while you're talking. There's so many times. Yeah, I just spiderman talking about spiderman where it's me throwing come on walls of hotels and I do it on stage now and it fucking kills. That's great. If you do that for real. He's a mess. Motherfucker. Walls that you and I have to go and touch. No, you're in your underwear and you're putting your socks on. You might lean against the wall.

Speaker 3:          00:10:28       Could easily be touching. This creeps loads even worse. I played chicken. I throw it on the ceiling and keep my mouth open and play with someone else for yourself. Whereas if I start out of the way, but I don't and that's why I get id for cigarettes. Look my skin. So that is an excuse for you to be gay for yourself. I'm not playing a part of this play come chicken with like, how fucking gay gay that's like, no, it's just recycling. It's just bizarre. Jim Norton and says, great bit about this chick that used to make them do things like she. I guess it's his girlfriend. She tells him what to do and you know, she used to be a dominatrix or something nutty like that and Jim comes on her tits and she makes him lick it up and it's a true story and he's talking about and it fuck oh delirious. But it's also your fucking toes curl up. Your butthole crunches up. You closed your nostrils when you hear it, your whole body like construction, like don't eat your own. Something about. It's just you guys. Men. We're talking to you on one of the podcasts this week. Some guy was. Who was was if adf did effect a funny guy. Yeah. He was talking about some guy sucking some guy or letting some guys suck his dick so that he could fuck this hot chick. Oh, it's great. Yeah. That was that eft friended that. Yeah, and you're like, my manager tells me the story of him

Speaker 2:          00:12:00       body were they hooked up with these two chicks in, throughout the hotel room with these two chicks and the two chicks, like start like making out and everything and they go, you guys make out. We will lucky and I just do eric. You guys have to make out my managers. Just like, all right, fuck it. I'm out of here. And the guys chasing him around the room going, stop being such a such a

Speaker 3:          00:12:21       fucking pussy dude. Just make out with me dude though. These like, fuck man, how bad you need to get lady Korea. Need a scar in your brain for life because the moment you know the moment you, what the fuck have I done? He would immediately recognize the depths of your depravity and I think I'd let someone, some guys suck my Dick. Make out with a more intimate. I don't know, man. Up Stop. You can control yourself. I mean you're. You can defend yourself. Some dude has his mouth over your Dick. He can just clamp down on that thing at any moment. And at the end of your Dick. Yeah, that's true. Fuck all that. When Saturday night live do it thing because there's so many people live with the fuck he talking about. I mean like everybody is sucking Dick on Saturday and they make out with each other and shit.

Speaker 3:          00:13:12       Right? Then there's a live studio audience is different than being like, okay, there's a lot of guys that think it's funny to just be nutty like that, you know, that was a big thing the hell's angels used to do in the sixties. Hunter s Thompson wrote about it. About how in that, uh, the, the um, the hell's angels book that he wrote, he wrote about how they would try to freak out squares. Like when they were around like regular people, they would just start making out with each other big burly guys like tongue and all that. Just whoa. Hey, there's all these video of it. It's the documentary Gonzo great documentary narrated by a Johnny Johnny Depp. Super Inspirational, makes you want to write. And it makes you really appreciate his, his whole outlook on things. And also recognize him for real. Like they didn't try to make him look up anything other than what he was like, it's flawed, brilliant but flawed, crazy all over the place.

Speaker 3:          00:14:01       But look what he produced, you know, it was like one of those things. But it was also like, look how he fell. Like, look, look how it all fell apart for him. Look how his career, all the uphill battles he said, yeah, it's scary shit man. Because you know, as uh, any, any artist I think, I think we all look at ourselves and you know, you look at what's, what's your eventual take on this? Going to be like, what is, what's your body of work going to be like after 20 years or 30 years and at the end are you going to still be enjoying this? Like look at this brilliant guy. Like what did he do wrong? Like why, why was he some of his shit so good. Some of the shit that he wrote, fear and loathing in Las Vegas is still one of my favorite books just to just a fucking mad crazy book. You know, this dude and his friend just dropping acid. And just fucking people over on the hotel bills. I mean, it's a great fucking book. It's just, it just, it's alive, you know what I mean? And

Speaker 5:          00:14:52       he's like his writing there some shit in there that was alive and it's not everybody can do that. I don't know what it is or why a person can or can't. But what drives me crazy is when they can do something like that and then they still fall apart. You know? It's like, it's almost like what brings them to the dance kills them when they get there.

Speaker 2:          00:15:08       Yeah. Yeah. Well it's because nothing is constant. You know, like if you're so passionate about something, there's something that you need to nurture in that or like. And we're constantly changing. Nothing is forever going to be that way. So in five years from now, like if you don't cultivate that kind of life and everything, you can, all of a sudden five years down the road, just not give a fuck about land. Just completely like be a completely different, which is fine. We need to,

Speaker 5:          00:15:33       you have to get the, you have to be comfortable in the struggle. And part of the struggle is constantly creating, constantly coming up with new things because as soon as you stop doing that, if you stopped creating and you stop exploring it and the, utilizing that part of your mind in your, you know, whatever it is, your spirit, it goes away. That's the only reason why it's there is because it took you fucking 10, 15 years ago and on stage over and over again until I cultivate this thing where you know how to do it correctly, like you get into this groove. But that can easily slip away from you just don't pay. Like when I was on news radio, there was like two years when I was on where I didn't write a fucking single joke. I didn't do it. All I did was performed at the laugh factory.

Speaker 5:          00:16:13       And I performed at the comedy store. And uh, I didn't do any roadwork at all and I didn't write it all. I just, I did the Sitcom. A Sitcom was a lot of work. It was, you know, we work long hours and I'd be tired and I would show up at the comedy clubs. And I just had no, no ambition, you know, I didn't have any new material. It was all the stuff that I'd been doing for years already. And I had lost all connection with what I was saying, you know what I mean? Like some bits they get to a point where you just kind of saying a bunch of things that you know will work. It's like I'm not even thinking about this. I'm not in the moment while I'm saying this. And uh, anyway, um, I, I didn't realize it until I had some writers come to see me, some guys that were writers on news radio.

Speaker 5:          00:16:49       It was ugly and it was a late night sat at the comedy store and the late nights at the comedy store in the main room. And there's only like fucking 15 people that places a vacuum. Man, it's a cavern. And I went up there and just just really had a shitty set. It just felt uncomfortable and that made me really realize like, God, you don't even work on your comedy anymore. Like, what the fuck are you doing? It's going to go away. Like the thing that was the most fun for you to do, now you're not doing it anymore and now when you do it, you're like weird about it. So maybe like sort of reorganize and figure it out. But I think for a lot of guys, like they just start doing the, they become successful or they somehow or another, you know, get enough success so that they can make a living. And then they just kinda like stop, you know,

Speaker 2:          00:17:32       that's when you kind of die on. It's so sad. And yet I feel myself, I constantly have to keep. I go, you know, can like it. And I'm so new to this comedy game and um, I, I find myself, like when I was just in my little tiny apartment in London, I mean now it's still a tiny apartment, Hollywood,

Speaker 3:          00:17:50       but you just change your surroundings and the change the people around you. And now all of a sudden it's a business and you have an agent and a manager and they have plans to career planning and all of a sudden you're like, Whoa, whoa. What's that? What's that little spark that I had inside me? What was pushing me to do this in the first place? As soon as you lose that, like you just like completely lost and all of a sudden so easy to talk you into being business minded and business oriented too. And I've talked to like comics that I really like their interesting guy and he'll start talking about like liquor sales and shit and I'm like, what are you even. How do you even know that? Like what are you, why are you talking about this? Have you ever thought about doing a song about mountain dew though?

Speaker 3:          00:18:30       Roads. Commercial. When you're like, as soon like online you have a following. Did you get approached by so many people? Well, your videos have ridiculous numbers. The every average everyday normal guy just like, was it 20 million? Almost 21 million. That's some serious numbers, man. You put ads on those and make money off that shit. Well they do like through a partnership program at Youtube and they, they'll put the little ads at the bottom. So they send you checks for that shit. Yeah. Make it a little bit of money on there. Nothing spectacular. No, it's nothing. I have to do other things and even to pay my bills. I heard that there's some dudes that have like a kid's ones on there and these, these kids videos have such ridiculous, like, like very regular repeated customers. And so the numbers are huge, like $5 million and now these guys are making like ridiculous money from Youtube ads.

Speaker 3:          00:19:22       I've always heard that too, but I've never really understood. I thought it was a real commitment to Dana White. Really? Yeah. So it's real. There are some kids who like I put out videos and mine's more like content. You allow sketches and songs and like I created the content. I'll shoot it, edit it and put it out as like, you know, I don't have a TV show, so this is me doing my own content and I fucking love it. And the creative freedom that comes along with it. No one's looking over your shoulder, you're just doing whatever you want. And I get, I got to d, that's my tip. Oh, it's amazing. Like I'll never give that up. You know, I'll never, it's also why your stuff is so good because he is coming from your mind gets all like when, when, when one person does this and it sounds crazy, but I really believed this.

Speaker 3:          00:20:02       When one person is involved in creating something and then they put it out, it's almost like you, you, you get a sense of their personality, like you get like a glimpse into their creative, you know, whatever the fuck of frequency. They tune into what a bunch of people get in it. It can be really funny but might not enjoy it as much as water down a little bit more if that's real. It sounds like totally like hippie nonsense. But I, you know, you, it's why we appreciate people so much when they do something and we enjoy it. I mean think about what that's like to like, you know, like whatever. If it's a band, some band that you fucking love, like you got to hang out with Trent reznor when you were a kid. I mean, what are you doing? You're appreciating something. This guy's producing and creating and that's really what it's all about.

Speaker 3:          00:20:40       That's what being a fan is about. Yeah, trippy fucking thing. Yeah. No, it's crazy. I don't really even think about that. Don't know how you get like I do the shows and people. Anyone just goes, dude, I love what you do. I'm so like, like taken. Yeah, and I'm so weird. I'm very recent that recently in this, but like I'm always like fucked. So thankful. I'm like, dude, like you know, you're watching you enjoy it and loud. Fuck. It's just, it's just a beautiful thing. It's a great. It's a great exchange. Of course you got to deal with a bunch of nuts. You ever watched his video? Highest fuck yeah. Yeah, I've seen that one too. That's great. We'll, we'll play that one at the end. Alright, cool. That's a teaser. Ladies and gentlemen, we'll let you know at the end. We're going to have a song for you.

Speaker 3:          00:21:21       Anybody who's having a problem with this podcast, I'm getting it from itunes, looking for the latest episodes every time. It's way easier. If you just subscribe, if you subscribe, you get them as soon as we put it up there, but apparently apple has some weird new way. They're handling podcast now where it doesn't allow you to ping the server. This is all complicated shit, but the long and short of it is the best way to get the podcast. The quickest is just subscribed on itunes or you can always go to Joe Rogan.net and right after the podcast is over, within a couple of hours, Brian has a link up and you can, you can download it from that. So that's easy to. So that's the way to do it. Don dolby winding anymore. And how does that work on your website? Does it go? Because I'm so technologically. I, yeah, I've downloaded on itunes, go straight to my library, syncs with my ipod. Like if I go onto your website, does it go right into the itunes or drag and drop or. Well, it's just a file to download the MP three and MP three file and it's always because I want it to be available not just for Itunes, you know I wanted on Zune and you've got some wonky old MP, three recorder, one of them little USB jammies. It doesn't even have like A.

Speaker 2:          00:22:24       Yeah, if you're. If you're in the Zune marketplaces, hold down your power button, wait for it to reset, and then I realized shit

Speaker 3:          00:22:31       making jokes. Is that a Microsoft joke? Darkly with. We'll try to sneak in Microsoft joking you both the device. The device was no good. Hey Verizon, you can't. What's up with this new iphone? Has a world chip in it, but you don't. You don't turn it on. You fucking Weirdos. You're scared. You're scared. Your network's gonna Crumble, bitches. That's what it is. They've been talking so much shit on 18 and t they don't understand the power of the iphone. When that motherfucker comes, a wave of freaks, they're going to come over to your side. It's going to be like 15 percent of the people from 18 t they're estimating are gonna vacate their contracts early. That's a large number of men, even more like business people.

Speaker 2:          00:23:10       You know what I was doing an AP and t commercial last night I was sitting there and I was sending all these photos to my flicker and I was also trying to download this youtube video and then somebody calls me if somebody would have called me during that on the verizon network, all that shit would have failed your right. And so I was thinking that's pretty big for me. I'm a heavy user of Internet. Yeah. But I mean even if you're on twitter and you're loading of video and then somebody calls you halfway through it, guess what? That video is not loading. That's right. Yeah. That's a good plug. That.

Speaker 3:          00:23:43       That's a good point if you look at it that way. No. Yeah. Well I don't understand why verizon can't do that. I, from what I understand though, when they get to four G, that won't be an issue anymore. Is that correct? Yeah. Yeah. Four. So for ge, even though it's cdma as opposed to just the network's good, but it's actually just older, like an older older technology. It's called CDMA and if for some reason, even though it's older technology, it penetrates deeper into buildings. Yeah, I guess that's one of the that goes so it gives you more cancer kids. You better cancer, but I've got a new top, new, a title to my book. It's called if you get cancer from your cell phone, you're a fucking pussy. I know what you really wanted to say, but pussies. They're retired word. No, no, no. It'd be more.

Speaker 3:          00:24:27       You're a pussy and FFA. Gigi. Word. Otee word. You know what though? I mean, has anyone done research like on ball cancer? Is Ball cancer up right now because you're a fucking cell phones by your balls 90 percent of the time. I don't know what the fuck you're doing with your phone ma'am. Don't stick it on your ball pocket. That's like being on the side of your head. Right? So it's pretty close to your boss about the having a laptop on your. On your lap, just so close to books, balls and all your shit. I can imagine some kind of. You know the laptop though. It's heat. The battery, I use that for it as a form of birth control. Right. Kill your boss. I did it on purpose. Torture. Those little faggots. Whoops. Oh, trick trick. Trick me to put it in my head.

Speaker 3:          00:25:10       I'm you. That word in Canada there. Well, it shouldn't be an American either. It's not. That shouldn't be said to. Shouldn't be award that has all this power. Especially a good juicy one. Jamie Kilstein told me he retired it recently to really, every time you accidentally say it, you should do something like you have to buy an Elton John cd or you have to. You have to watch one episode of Ellen Full George Michael Video. You have to give something back. I love that freedom song, man. Remember that time we sang it on the podcast. That's a great God damn thing in the hot tub. No, I blocked that out bro. Shut up bro. What the fuck are you touring? Do you, uh, do you do? Uh, yeah. I mean I've been trying to quite a bit for the past two years. I took a little break because one is write some stuff and do some more the internet stuff, but when you do it, you do it.

Speaker 3:          00:25:58       I'm like, go out for a weekend. Come back. I started doing that. I have minneapolis so bad. It's so. I don't even know my dates, but I'd like to have some Minneapolis in like march or what is the website? Yeah. Uh, yeah. Let's check out the website. Michael Keaton's on. Yeah, that's John Lewis. Schwab.com and spelled that motherfucker. Yeah. Good luck. J O n l e j o I eat or just go to youtube. Google like data and just search. Sorry. Go ahead. Have you ever thought about just changing your last name? Like John La, la or something? Johnny La. Kevin James had to do that. His last name was sniffing those. Really? Yeah. It was really tricky. And Him, his brother Gary and Gary picked Valentine and Kevin Pick pick james because it was the name of his old Kung Fu instructor. My last name is not red band because my last name, bright red bird right from the movie trailers.

Speaker 3:          00:26:53       When you see a movie, other advantage. I used to be a projectionist most of my life. Okay, okay. I like it. I like. His videos were really good. I got to figure out how to make money with it. Anybody out there with a suggestion? You do yourself freaks because I don't know you stars Porn Stars. Porn stars is the way to go and make comedy. Comedy Porn. Yeah. Making money on the Internet. That's what Brian Needs. Brian needs more porn stars of his life for sure. I know. How do you get into the porn circle? Oh, he's deep. Really? He went into a podcast. Is that all it takes? My house. We'll have a podcast and that you can interview this morning. Star deep. Get deep in the crate. You write all your stuff yourself and like, do you just sit there and think of a good idea? And I mean, did you start off doing like, like just you using a cell phone camera?

Speaker 3:          00:27:40       They playing around what it was was like I was uh, I, I went to theater school in Montreal. Then I graduated and I got a roll on this French language TV show, which it was, you know, it's cool. It's great. I appreciate it. Great job and everything, but it wasn't really what I want to do. By the way, how much does it help with chicks being bilingual and the other languages? French sally field. You must seem so sophisticated. Especially if you know something about wine, that's all you need. I mean so many. Growing them so quickly. You can know nothing about wine. Oh, you'd have to do is just start talking about the area of France where these grapes are grown and that bitch she. Oh yeah, yeah, no, it uh, it helps a little bit but it's weird to Montreal, like if you don't like it being an English dude in Montreal and on a friend's show like chicks like me because I had the English, the English or the French chicks like you because he's spoken with as well.

Speaker 3:          00:28:36       And then out here it's Kinda like, Oh really? Yeah, the French thing. Skill. I thought you guys didn't like French people, wasn't all that freedom fry French Montreal is okay. France, France is a different animal, those guys, we don't even like French fries. And you're more freedom. So you were on the show. So you're on this, uh, uh, French speaking show and you speak fluent French as well as English. Not as well as English is. My Dad's French. Canadian. So is there a different, like when you're sending the language, is structured different comedy structured different when you do it? Yeah, I find comedy in French. It's a completely different beast. It's like you have a bunch in Montreal, Montreal, when they do the just for laughs festival, they'll have all these like guy speaking in France. It's really weird and it's super like superstars, French Canada, huge that people have never heard of. Yeah. Yeah. Just to give you an example, there are 7 million or 8 million people in Quebec. The show that I was on had one point 2 million people watching it every week. Like on the league, that's what we get, but that's broadcast all

Speaker 2:          00:29:42       over the United States. Like they're very supportive of their culture and they, they consume a quebecois culture and they have like huge comedy star. It's like a little, that's why they kinda like why their own country is like a little country on its own. On the French side. English side is just is like, like English Canada anywhere else.

Speaker 3:          00:30:00       Quebec is a very strange area in and of itself that they want to separate from the rest of Canada. It's like a constant issue. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that about?

Speaker 2:          00:30:10       Uh, well I mean it's goes way back but it's basically, you know, new France became kinda like the, the English beat, the French and then like you had all this huge French population and now was English territory and they were kind of of like lax enough to go, okay, I can keep practicing your Catholicism and your things, love, we'll let you alone, but you're, you know, this is the British empire know. But they kind of flourished as a culture and they stayed pretty close together. And like now, Quebec is predominantly French speaking and it's a culture that's just kind of kept going throughout the years and now they want to protect the culture and there are many of the laws in Canada that do protect the culture, like Kinda like signs have to be more French than with a larger in French than in English. Like a lot of things like that that are very controversial, um, equal rights. Right?

Speaker 3:          00:31:02       Well, it's just that you have to have that. It has to be in French at all. Like you can go to Chinatown, there's some shit that has nothing in English on it, so that's fine. Right, right. Yeah. I don't feel well that's ridiculous. No, I know it's very controversial, but there are many things that they're trying to protect because the fear is basically that 100 years down the road, uh, there were French culture. But I mean, you know, things change. What are we going to do once we start reading minds and we can travel through time. We're still going to have to talk French. You fuck. No. Is it that important? Goddammit, you're slowing down evolution county. The language dies. It dies, man. Fuck it isn't what you mean. Is that what it's supposed to be important, right? Your intent not what? Fuck, Blah Blah. The way you fucking say it.

Speaker 3:          00:31:48       Let's do it. Which is neutral. You know, it just expresses they don't want their language to evolve. If it, if it gets absorbed, it gets involved. That's what happened. Sorry, that doesn't mean it's bad. No, I have not. Right Brian. Goddamn. I made out like I'm going to get shit for this a little bit so I'll do the French. I'll just go. I'm not going to know because I know how important it is. Especially like artists on the French and I've worked with quite a bit like on that TV show. They're, most of them are sovereigns are separate. This. Yeah. No, I guess they probably know they wouldn't survive if the full country to hear them. You want to stay in one area and only speak French. I'm, I'm gonna. I'm gonna stay neutral on competitive motherfuckers topics and I love Montreal and I love French Canada. Don't know what I'm saying. I'm as a human being, as a human being, I don't. I don't like an attached to anything. Yeah, especially getting attached to the way you say things. A certain lands. Who gives a fuck and everybody's like.

Speaker 5:          00:32:40       Someone said that to me, man. You don't have to care for man fucking English. Going to be a second language and everybody's going to speak Spanish first. I go, well then I'll learn Spanish and fucking dummy and guess what? Stupid. It's not. It's not going to happen within my lifetime. And if I grew up learning Spanish instead of English, does that really make a difference? God dammit. Of course it doesn't. You fucking stooge it's what you're thinking is what's important. It's not what language you think it and that's dumb. It's better if we all have one language. Let's get rid of. I mean we got rid of Latin. Okay, can we get rid of Chinese? What's do this? Kick that shit out. You guys know what to say. English things. Come on. Get rid of it. The ultimate of a president got into office. It's like, first of all, everybody's got to fucking learn English.

Speaker 5:          00:33:21       Done right. You want to really communicate. It's real simple. Okay, we'll learn English. We won't bomb you. You learn English. Is that a deal? The fuck. Is it so hard? No secret languages. Kill all your other languages because I don't want you to be saying some shit that I don't understand. The new president when I was 17, I was on spring break and this is probably the problem is there's fucking a lot of dudes that are listening to that going, well, fuck you, man. He's going to fuck. Good point. We do have all the bombs. Fuck all those Brown queers.

Speaker 5:          00:33:54       Queers in Quebec so you can French all over the world. All of them. Anyone fucking even English if the Spanish. When I'm on the Spanish side, I'm whoever's winning. I'm with evolution. God dammit. Oh yeah. Mexico comes over and takes over America. Well, I guess we have made cocaine legal. You fuck like what you did. Stupid fucking Mexican gangsters take over the country. They realized how soft we are. We're creating a whole nation of savage killers down there. You know, you've seen those video footages from live leak with a 12 year old hitman or fucking torturing people before they tell them Yo. I mean, that's right there. You can derive their. This is nuts. The fact that we're not dealing with that. We shouldn't even fucking Afghanistan. It takes me 12 hours to get there on a plane who shouldn't be beer right next door where everyone's crazy, where they're cutting people's fucking heads off and selling coke.

Speaker 5:          00:34:42       God Damn Mother fuckers on Hollywood fucking boulevard. The Mexicans, Mexicans are mad at me. The French Canadians are mad at me. I'm trying to piss off everybody already know. Everyone saw verizon. French Canadian know. I love you. I love you and I love your poutine. I love the comedy works in Montreal. That little club I didn't last time. It was a bunch of fucking great man. Well, you know, Montreal always confused me because I lived in Boston and I had this cold weather douchebag theory. I was like, well, the reason why Boston people are so douchey is because it's cold as fuck up there and get you get angry like six months out a year, you know, mass holes we call them and you know. But I was like, but wait a minute, I go up to Montreal, it's three hours north or more, right? More drivings and like four hours, no, four hours for four fucking hours in a car north of Boston. And the people are cool as fuck and it's like a European city.

Speaker 3:          00:35:38       It's more sophisticated. It's like the culture is totally different. The women are so much nicer, you know? It's weird, man. It's a weird, weird thing. But also we're very polite so we hide that shit. Like you guys are just like fuck you. And we're like, fuck this guy. Yeah. But fuck, this guy's way nicer to be around. I keep it together. Shithead. No. Yeah, I know you guys like Boston, like everyone from 18 to 20. Everyone's always up in Montreal. Just partying because like you guys still have. I still don't understand 21 to drink. It's good. It's good because it makes it harder for people to get into bars. It shouldn't be in bars and it's good because they don't know how to not drink and drive yet. That's the scariest shit. Just got the license. The as shit to me is kids that don't know how to drive and they're drinking, you know?

Speaker 3:          00:36:23       I've seen. I've seen stupid shit man. I've seen people rear end people and I've seen many things. I, I think it's a good thing. I think they shouldn't be able to drive for their 21. I shouldn't have been able to drive, but the problem is you have to work so you gotta let them drive it. Eighteen or 17 or whatever the fuck it is, but I saw some fucking kid down the street the other day in his mom's Lexis, like it was a big lexus truck and suv. He couldn't have been more than 15, 16 years old. This kid was fucking riding my ass and weaving through traffic and cutting lanes off and going way over the speed limit. I'm like, kid, you don't know how to drive. Yeah. You're like, you're taking a big chance with a large vehicle that doesn't stop well, it doesn't turn well at all, or giant trucks and this fucking kid is driving like he's doing formula one racing.

Speaker 3:          00:37:06       Scary Shit. Speed. He got away with it. I mean he got home, he didn't die, but something could have happened easily. Someone could have fucked up. Someone could have ran off a curb so you know, he could have had to make a split second move and it would have been around what you think about it. 15, 16 years old. Like I was retarded. Retarded. Totally like an idiot. And to be in, to be behind the wheel controlling is huge. Hunk of metal around thousands of people. Yeah. I don't think that's a good idea. It's funny. This has been a topic of conversation recently. Even though my message board about people that were like 21, I was saying that when I was 20 I was retarded. Like you know, don't, don't tell me what the fuck is going on when you're 20. I don't want to hear you talk about, you know, what's wrong with the world when you're 20 and a lot of people are going back in the fucking Middle Ages, you know, 20 was middle aged like you know, you know, we could try and don't discount my opinion because I'm 20 years old.

Speaker 3:          00:37:58       I totally agree with you. You have 10 kids and have you killed people playing world of warcraft, your mom's basement. You're not the same 20 year old and it's not to undervalue Europe. Your opinion or your observations. You might be very intelligent. You might have some observations that are very valid. Is Not saying that. It's just say the fact that you're even confident enough to want people to listen to your opinion at 20 shows me, you're on the wrong road to stop being cocky. You should be like just asking questions and looking around. Just jumping in and, and, and trying to force your opinions on. When you're 20, you don't really know

Speaker 2:          00:38:36       that much. It might have some information, but man, you look back and how when you were like, when you were 20, there's no 20 year old that is going to be able to stand on television with a microphone and tell the world what needs to be fixed. You know, just fucking stopped dude. It's a developmental cycle or you're very confident. You're very intelligent. Congratulations. Yeah, but don't get ahead of yourself. Of course. You know, when I was 20 I was fucking dumb, but I thought it was smart and I was right about a lot of things. You know? I had a good, good point of view, but it was still, you're just fucking spastic. You're just like that 15 year old kid driving that truck. You don't know what the fuck you're doing. You're slamming into walls and shit. You don't know how to use the brakes.

Speaker 2:          00:39:09       I have once in a while I have to check in with early twenties John. I mean it's morally like, so like, oh this I'm reading like I still am very curious. I love reading, but at early twenties like I thought like I figured it out like my moral code and I was so like, what was the code? We didn't know. I was very much a, a Vegan for. Oh really? Yeah, but that I know, I know, but that took me a little while to go. Oh, okay. No, because I was reading a lot, like I'm trying to figure out what is a right decision was wrong and figuring it out. Sure. And that was now like a totally different, completely different person. But in my early twenties, like everything was an important moral decision and I have very, like, my parents are like really pentecostal, like really religious, very like good people, but you know, very religious people.

Speaker 2:          00:39:58       So I kind of have that baggage where I'm like I'm trying to, you know, doing good is like what makes my parents proud and as opposed to like oh I have all these fans and stuff. Like if I do something like really nice or something like that, that's when my parents are really proud of me. So like, I kind of have this thing, so I was trying to figure like him and now you know, you know, and I'm 30 and living in La and you know, like I've have a bit of success and so once in a while I have to go, okay, early twenties John, am I being an asshole right now and am I being a good person? What do you think? And a lot of the time he's like, fuck you asshole. Don't talk to me. Well what's early twenties John? A radical though, was he?

Speaker 2:          00:40:36       No, no, no, no, no. I'm still very close to who I was but I was much more like, I guess rigid about things. So like there's more like, I dunno, like I went to a certain, like the super, I still don't, I when I'm shopping, like I tried it give my money were like, it's because buying is voting but back it's like, really, it's that early when you're figuring shit out, you're like, I just read this book. And Naomi Klein's uh, you know, whenever the fuck it was called. And I'm like, okay, I get it. I don't know, you know, you try to like be, I don't know, it's everything's kind of black and white. When you realize you get older, you're like, oh, it's just all gray and you try to figure it out. You try to be a good person as much as you can and try to approach things with love and all that kind of stuff. It's very tricky. You know the eating of animals thing, is it really a very controversial subject and I know a lot of people that have a lot of different opinions on it and they're all very, very like adamant about how they are. Like the people who eat meat

Speaker 5:          00:41:34       just really want to justify it and they get super aggressive about it and you know, the people that don't, they. I mean I've had some annoying motherfuckers on my message board. They want to talk to me about eating animals, like don't do it. Just try it and then go on and on and on. Just trying to shove it in your throat like God damn you annoying fucking socially retarded dunce. Whatever you're doing is going to make me not want to do it. Do you not get that? When people like say an annoying shit like that and like make a mistake, you know, think of Karma kicking you in the Dick. Stupid. Get Away, get away with your nonsense. Those beans are alive. You fuck. Okay. Those beans are eating. They're screaming as you bite down on it, you boil them, they're dying in there. They're rotting and boiling water that led us screams and agony as you rip it from its fucking mother.

Speaker 5:          00:42:19       Fuck you. Fuck you. That's life too stupid. It's like, why is, why is animal life more important than plant life? Because we're semi related, you know, but that, that's fucking stupid because you step on bugs all the time. We're convenient. Shitheads. All right. And the funny, the most, uh, the funniest thing is that eating meat and animal proteins helped us develop like our and come to the point in our consciousness that where we are because it helped develop the brain rapidly, which is the fall. That's actually a controversial theory. Yeah. Because it doesn't work that way with the other predators. I mean Jaguars when have big brands and by the way, but that was a theory that theory, I believe was formulated before they realize how many monkeys chimpanzees eat. No, they didn't realize how, how fucking ruthless and violent chimps really were until they started doing some studies.

Speaker 5:          00:43:08       I forget the, the, the um, the guy's name who ran the show. It was like a BBC show, but he was the first one to get footage of chimps eating monkeys. And I think that was in the nineties. So I think these ideas that they had about that, there was this too. There's two other theories. One of them is a throwing arm and that when people develop the ability to throw things, that, that sort of kicked off our evolution because we started killing things that were far, far away from us. Then we started getting better at hunting. We thrive. Then as we thrive, we got a little bit more confidence and we started thinking about things more. It's like that the more calm you can get, the more control of your environment, the more you have free time to think about shit because you're not always fighting off Jaguars and all these different things.

Speaker 5:          00:43:50       So we figured out how to do things like throw spears, throw rocks, you know? That's one theory. That's another theory. The other one is psychedelics. The other one is psychedelic mushrooms and that's the most controversial one, but really the most fascinating one, and it's a terence Mckenna stoned ape theory and this theory is that somewhere along the line, and this is the undisputable facts, somewhere along the line, the human brain size doubled over a period of 2 million years and that is in the entire fossil record, the most confusing thing, like more than anything, like they're like, well, how does this happen? Like it's weird for any Oregon to grow double the size, but the most spectacular Oregon as far as creating things on the planet is in no question the brain, the human is when we alter our environment, we create nuclear bombs beyond beyond a doubt.

Speaker 5:          00:44:36       It all happens supposedly inside this area and this area doubled in two years. Well, it's coincidentally also the same time that the, uh, the rain forest receded into grasslands. There was a climate change and Terence Mckenna's theory is that monkeys were forced or lower primates were forced to come out of the trees and experiment with new foods sources because the rain forest were gone and these animals that were in this once lush tropical environment had to adapt to this new environment. And one of the things they did was there was a lot of cows that were eating the grass and they would flip over counters looking for bugs. And that's the best place for cubensis mushrooms to grow. So these cubensis mushrooms would grow in this cow shit. And these, these chips and those, whatever the fuck they were, you know, lower primates Australia pivot gets wherever the fuck it was.

Speaker 5:          00:45:19       They would eat these mushrooms. And the idea is twofold. One that there was a, a direct increase in their ability to see things because when you eat suicide, and especially in low doses, it increases your visual acuity. And the other thing was that it would give them this sort of community like loving atmosphere, protecting atmosphere and that will also aid and they're less conflicts. The less conflicts that they had would aid in their innovation, you know, just like with the other thing. And also they would start having psychedelic experiences and in large doses these psychedelic experiences would slowly help them evolve much, much quicker and sort of figure things out that they may be not a figured out. And the idea of the really weird part of the idea is that they think this is all Mckenna and a few other psychos. They think that what mushrooms are, is some sort of an alien intelligence that it's come here from an asteroid.

Speaker 5:          00:46:13       Because the reason for that is there's no, like there's nothing that can survive in a vacuum better than spores. And we know that a bunch of shit is come here on asteroids from other planets like Dna or excuse me, I'm like, uh, uh, amino acids are the building blocks for life and water. Water comes on comets and asteroids. And we know that spores can survive in a vacuum. And the idea is that somewhere on some other planet there was some type of a spore and it came here on an asteroid landed and the way it communicates with people as you eat it,

Speaker 3:          00:46:51       this is what caused human beings to evolve at a monkey's. I mean, it is one of those five bong hit stare at space and think it through for like 10 hours. At first. It sounds totally ridiculous that mushrooms, mushrooms are silly, like you know, if he's one scientist or whatever, that that thinks that there's scientists really. I mean he was, he was a scholar. I mean, I don't know what it was. The ethno botanists I think was his chosen. If you ask any of the other thousands of scientists that would know that anything close to what he's talking about when they think are very, very high, you have to realize that as a scientist, first all getting

Speaker 5:          00:47:30       behind anything that advocates a completely new direction in evolution and one based on psychedelic mushrooms, illegal drugs, that's a tough fucking sell. So most scientists would never choose that as a point of study. It's a virtual cycle. No, come on, could be that, it could be that too, but it's also they discount the idea that mushrooms could be some sort of potential human evolution tool. They discount that because it sounds ridiculous that an illegal drug could potentially aid in your evolution and most of them are ignorant of the experience itself. I mean maybe some of them are fucked around with it had a little bit, but to have a real full blown psychedelic experience, I guarantee you you wouldn't discredit it. So what are these monkeys? Instead of like taking the cow turds, they were like, they took one bite with like it says gross and they told their friends food come on and they eat bugs.

Speaker 5:          00:48:22       Eat ever go. That's dumb. That's dumb. Because they don't have observed the mushrooms. This whole theory does make it makes no sense. Right? Right. But they do what they've observed the meeting mushrooms. So observe other long time ago, but no on monkeys now he, you know, a lot of animals like target psychedelic substances like rain, beard, target, the Amanita mushrooms in Siberia. It's, they're famous for it. They like knock people over to get the mushrooms. They fucking love them. I dog used to knock shit over to get to my. We'd really, really like little buckets and he'd just go and I come back and he'd be acting all weird and look in the ash tray. It's just like all empty and like, no, it's this, this subject is a very controversial one because whenever you, um, the, a lot of people have a very strong opinion against this idea and they're just like, that's ridiculous.

Speaker 5:          00:49:13       That doesn't make sense. You know, mushrooms, like, think about what the fuck mushrooms do do to you if you've done it, if you've ever done it, you know what they do. It's fucking crazy. Beyond description, your whole world changes. Everything around you becomes interlocking geometric patterns that you can see through to infinity. Just that experience itself. What the fuck is happening? Why is it so powerful and why it's so you Nana mostly positive do that to your mind what's going on? And if it is an agent of evolution, right, are you know, but you're not being poisoned that the ld 50 rate for siliciden mushrooms is like fucking 50 pounds or something. That's like what you have to eat to kill half the people. It's ridiculous. It's like you can't die from it. We were talking about like hundreds of times more than the effective dose it would take to kill you.

Speaker 5:          00:50:02       You'd have to be a total idiot to die for mushrooms. Right? I mean there's a lot in you just probably throw up. Anyway. There were some. I don't think anybody's ever died unless there's some toxic mold that was on it, which is very common in my short. Not only that mushrooms that look like psilocybin mushrooms, but there's some other fucking one that completely jacks your system. But that's the problem with anything. Like you could say. Again, there's no mold on these mushrooms. You're not going to die and there could be mold on this. What you're supposed to be buying or not buying, supposed to be eating and

Speaker 3:          00:50:28       run out of the ground are supposed to be legal. I know this is all subject of what we're doing to like food. We don't let anybody grow their own mushrooms. We in. It's fucking really hard to get to so you don't know who's handling it and how the guys growing it to yourself, it was legal. You can have any God damned backyard or in your basement. You could grow a whole shelf of mushrooms. It's easiest. Fuck a dude who had like Scott Mushrooms out here like I had back home. He said, have a reliable source where it didn't kill me and it was awesome, but I just, I just so weird when it's not controlled your life. Not only that, it's selling who's selling something illegal and that that's where it gets tricky. You know, the real problem with illegal drugs is you got to talk to people to get them.

Speaker 3:          00:51:11       You know, that's the deal with some dude and he wants to sell you mushrooms. Come on, man. Who is this guy? You're selling mushrooms. Where are you at in your life? You're selling mushrooms. You know, how crazy are you? You know you weren't a wire. Get the fuck over here. You know, you know, it's like, that's the problem. It should, you shouldn't have to deal with some person is willing to break the law. It would, would, it should be, is there's no fucking law. And by the way, there's a lot of cool people sell mushrooms. Don't get me wrong, I'm just teasing, but what I'm saying is valid in a lot of cases, man. I remember the guy we used to deal with, this dude named Jake the snake. That's how you get weed for, uh, before I got a medical card, this motherfucker was so annoying.

Speaker 3:          00:51:47       He was so annoying that Eddie Bravo had a choke him out like three times and couldn't believe that Eddie could choke them out. He's like, man, it was a real fight, dude. I kick your ass. And so Eddie's like, come on man, you act like an asshole. And the guy's like, I'm telling you man, that shit ain't gonna work on me. And I was like, okay, okay, let's, let's go out in the yard and let's say it takes him down straggles and puts him to sleep. Wakes him up. Who? This happened, man, I didn't fucking happen. That's bullshit. You got lucky. So they do it again. Let's go again. Let's go again. He takes him down, chokes him out, puts them to sleep like you fucking dummy. That's a black belt in Brazilian Jujitsu. Like really? You think you could just, just, you're just tough enough to fight that shit off. And this is where we used to get our weed from. It was so annoying. This guy was so dumb. He was like a dude who's half his head was made of cardboard. It was just like there's something in there that's dulling your electrical circuits. His wet cardboard leaking on the circuitry is whole fucking thing is shorting out. It was just dumb. Motherfucker sold weed. Yeah, that was his name.

Speaker 3:          00:52:44       Uh, the uh, the monkey thing possible, man. Wait harder for me to go. I believe in something then for me to dis not whoa, fuck. I just lost it. I know what you're saying. But like, yeah, I remained open. Like just the fuck that we're we, we used to be like bacteria on this rock and now we're sitting here talking with headphones about shit on computers. Like, yeah, that's fucking weird. They go, oh, maybe that happened. Yeah, maybe it happened. Like I'm not going to disbelief, but for me to go for sure that this thing that's harder to fix my point. Exactly. Love that. You just said that. I always say the exact same thing when it comes to like Ufo and stuff and I'm like, why do you want to

Speaker 5:          00:53:26       believe? Do you have personal experience with a Ufo? You've been taking a board. How do you not know that all these people are crazy? Because I know a lot of crazy people, man. People are full of Shit. They lie a lot. You have to always keep that. Brian always says it best. You always got to keep what you say. You've always got to keep all doors open. So what do you say? We were talking about this once before when it was about Ufos. Oh, keep everything on the table. I'll give you ever yet. Not Everything on the table. Don't just commit to one thing or the other man said when you were speaking about life and, and this is, I mean, think about this is the nuttiest fucking shit ever. There's a new study that they found it and that life today resembles life of a billion years ago, or cancer today.

Speaker 5:          00:54:07       Rather, it resembles life of a billion years ago. That I'm going to try to find the. It's very scary because what it implies is that, you know, what we came out of, we came out of here, this right here. Here's the article. Life resemble a cancer cells resembled life 1 billion years ago, and they have all these, uh, these comparisons. And you know, this all, like some serious scientific study about the origins of life and the origins of cancer. And the idea, and this is where it could be completely insane, but the idea is if human life becomes so fucked up and chaotic and so unnatural and so polluted by chemicals and destroyed by ideology and nonsense, and we just breed ourselves down to mush. This is the mush. What this is is this is what started life in the first place. Life was just a series of fucking cells that grew out of control and became eventually human beings and for this shit to be growing inside of us at an ever expanding rate constantly is like the primordial ooze trying to reclaim its creation.

Speaker 5:          00:55:12       This is the universal fucking extra sketch and they're shaking it right now. Wrap your fucking head around that man. That's what cancer is, man. What cancer is is absolute proof positive that this is the wrong path and the universe is slowly swallowing the human race. Back up, wrap your shit around that homey. That's the universe is know as art. Fuck man. You know, and we don't, we don't look at it that way. I mean we're obviously just learning this, but we don't look at it as being something that could be reversed that quickly. But look at like, you know, they're talking about like cancer of like, like the $10,000 100,000 years ago. The people didn't get cancer, they didn't get cancer. And there's a lot of scientists that believe that all cancer is within the industrial age and previously before that, any exposure to chemicals and things that Cortina just shit, but this shit doesn't really exist in nature.

Speaker 5:          00:56:04       And when you're eating a, like a, a primate or um, what, what would you call it? A Paleo Diet, you know, evolve vegetables and all, uh, you know, clean animals that you kill, like you're not getting introduced to any of the shit that creates cancer. And I don't know if that's right or no. I mean, I don't know how the fuck they could ever prove it. Yeah. They would have to go back in time, you know, whatever. 1,000 years or whatever the fuck it was before people ever figured out how to fuck with chemicals. What is at 10,000 years ago. Not even, probably only a couple chemicals. I mean, when was the first cancer? When was the first cancer ever recorded? Fuck this. It's a really interesting thing, man, because let's say let's just get crazy and let's give it a few thousand years. Let's say the first cancer started like 2000 years ago.

Speaker 5:          00:56:45       Okay. If that is the case, we think about what a short period of time that is 2000 years to tonight to today and you compare how much more people have cancer now and how many more people are around now than before in constantly we're working on a cure for. We're going to figure it out. We're going to figure it out. It's like, Whoa, what is this? Yeah, what the fuck is cancer life? It's life growing out of control and the way to get this is the crazy thing about life growing out of control and cancer, the way they kill it is it's fucking poison the shit out of you. They poisoned the shit out of you and they hope that this, this thing dies before the host does. That's what chemotherapy is. That's terrifying. That's a terrifying notion. It's like you have a parasite inside you and we're going to slowly bring you to death's door and hopefully it'll kill the parasite. And then you get to like start eating oatmeal again and walking without a limp. And then as soon as that happens, get. Oh, your friend is back for another fucking round, grabs a hold of you, tried to choke you and drag you to the ground.

Speaker 2:          00:57:42       Brother had, uh, Hodgkin's roommate is like a 14 years old. Oh my God. I had lumps and stuff. We want to see a doctor first. Dr Wentz. See like, Hey, you're working out. It's normal something your glands or whatever. Okay. Go to a second doctor. I know you have cancer. Like I know he did it. A chemotherapy and everything is fine and you know where the lumps like a dude, he had like this huge lump right here. Like, yes. Joey Dexter had the dude name Philip. Michael. Michael. Michael Hall in the eighties movies.

Speaker 5:          00:58:17       Um, so yeah, it's a really common thing, right? Yeah. What is it? What do they think it's cross from? They have any idea? Is it genetic?

Speaker 2:          00:58:23       Because idea, man. And at the same time we grew up like, we're just like eating, like I'm a big family, they brothers and sisters, so we'd like we'd eat hot dogs and hamburger helper and, and just, you never know where it can come from anywhere. It can be genetic and like all that stuff. Uh, my, my aunt died of the same thing when she was 24 like way back when she was young. So it's somewhat in the genetics, but at the same time, you never know. May Not even like, I'm like, I do go to a doctor like twice a year or no, I don't go to the doctor probably for that reason. I probably should. Wow. That's terrifying. Yeah. No, it is really, really healthy. Yeah, I will. Well,

Speaker 5:          00:59:01       I know a dude who eats really brown. He's got cancer right now. Oh, just, he's. He's got really pale skin and he's always out in the sun. Apparently it got some skin cancer and cancer and eats terrible. It's all mashed potatoes and fucking meatloaf and you know, no vitamins. So homeboys got to start eating like serious, serious, heavy green diet. Very leafy, thick, green vegetables. Whenever I do that man and I got really heavily

Speaker 3:          00:59:22       into like eating salads, like big salads every day. Really feel way better. It's really amazing. It's like, yeah, most of our food is so fucking like dead. You know, like you can get something. There's something out of eating plants and eating live things, you know, you really do get something from it. But the thing is you've gotta get you gotTa, get fresh, organic like in Montreal, like I just went back there last week. It's snow storm, like nothing fresh is growing there. So everything's important from all around the world sprayed with Kent if you're not getting organic and fresh like the shit's been in a freezer, sitting in chemicals, get a wash your lettuce. My brother worked at uh, a fruit and vegetable place. He said they used to take the celery out. You have to wear gloves when you like. They'd unloaded from the boxes and put it in the front because he'd get burns on his hands from the chemicals that were on the celery.

Speaker 3:          01:00:13       I think about that shit. You're putting that in your body man. And how long do you have to wash the salary for that shit to get? How long would it take before you started getting burns? Oh, he said like you write like you learn right away, like it, you handle it a bit and it's just the chemicals, especially on celery for some reason. Fuck, I love salary, man. I made celery juice all the time. Yeah. Well if you get then once again organic too, but still. Yeah, I've heard a lot of organic is bullshit to label it as organic and it's not really organic. What does organic stand for? I mean, what is it? What is the actual definition of organic? Does it mean no chemicals? No pesticides. No genetically modified. I think that's what it's supposed to mean. Boast to me then. But as we know, you watch those documentaries like food inc, like it's just the, uh, the genetically modified.

Speaker 3:          01:00:58       This shit's like flies all over. That's nuts. Yeah. Well, that's what's really crazy about genetically modified crops is how they affect other farmers have gotten sued because the shit flew through the air and landed on their fields and they found there these crops and they, they'll do a test on them and then these guys have to go to court and they want money from them. It's like it's the most evil shit ever. Monsanto is one of the most evil corporations ever, by the way. And there was some fucking thing online about them buying blackwater. Uh, I don't know if they did. I don't know if they did, but there was like people were like, this is the end of the world, just like the most evil organizations ever. And one's going to buy the other and they're going to become one massive, super evil organization.

Speaker 3:          01:01:39       Could you imagine there? They want to fuck over the whole world. They want to take over the food industry. They want to make sure that people have to pay them for their crops. You don't own your crops, you don't own the seed. You can't replant the seeds. And we got an army. We got an army that army that will do anything we tapped. I need to find out if that actually is still happening or if it was bullshit or if they just hired him for something. Um, yeah. There's this great French documentary life according to Monsanto, which is on Google that people should watch it. It's crazy. What's the seed called? The one that doesn't, um, you know, you have to keep buying it. The not the shot. This shotgun there. It's something. It's a

Speaker 2:          01:02:20       seat that doesn't, you know, it, it's not a crop that will keep coming back. You have to plant it every season. Um, fuck modified seed that you have to just. The farmers are at Monsanto's mercy because they can't just keep some of the crops and like they, these things die every year to keep buying. They've engineered dealer. Yeah. They engineered the uh, what's this crazy world anyway. But yeah, no, they're like, you've looked at them.

Speaker 5:          01:02:46       Well, okay. Here's the answer there. They're hiding it because it's a, they've. This is one, one article said Monsanto Buys Blackwater and then another argument or another article rather says, black has been sold via shell company and a pair of private equity firms, so does this mean Monsanto has actually bought into Blackwater and they're saying there's no way to know how creepy and scary or these motherfuckers

Speaker 2:          01:03:12       when one of the biggest corporations that controls the food on this planet has its own private army. Not Crazy.

Speaker 5:          01:03:20       Come. This isn't being discussed. Everybody wants to talk about how many black guys, Kim Kardashians.

Speaker 2:          01:03:24       Everyone wants to know gay people shouldn't get married. Yeah. This has taken over the world and you're worried about fucking guys getting married.

Speaker 5:          01:03:33       Crazy thing is people think this is ridiculous. This is like hippie nonsense. All this fucking. You know, what? Are you doing this? No, no, no. This is big business is what this is, is the biggest business in the world. The number one business in the world besides drugs is food and the only reason why drugs is more than foods because drugs is illegal. You know, foods worth way more than drugs. Drugs should be cheaper, but they're illegal. You know, I mean fuck man, but it's probably not even close anyway. More people spend way more money on food than drugs anyway, even though drugs are illegal. Even though I forget what I was saying. Like a mania would. You'd have to be off the charts. Everybody would have been off the charts. But anyway. So how the fuck man, how could this happen?

Speaker 2:          01:04:09       I man, dude, I. that's so scary. It's very scary. I mean I just read like on another similar kind of thing I just read about there's gonna start selling genetically modified salmon that grows twice as big and in half the time and you're laying there like, oh, we're not too worried about the cross pollination and going into the why do you have no, and they're like, oh, the tests have proven that it's, it's fine. Like there's no really. How long have you tested this on a generation of people? No you haven't. No one has a fucking clue. No fucking idea. They're like, oh, we tried for three months. He never. No one got sick. Let's put a new species of animal that will be out on the market for people to eat.

Speaker 5:          01:04:52       There's a fish that, um, let me just, uh, whenever an animal comes from another ecosystem and invades as an alien thing can ruin everything. Man. I think there's, I think it's called the snake and I think that's the name of the fish, but it's a fish that I believe it's from Africa. I'm just talking out of my ass right now. I'll find out what it is. But snakehead invasion is what I'm going to look up because these fish, they started showing up in, in lakes and ponds. Just eating everything dude. Eating everything. Yes. Snakehead. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. They're in. They've turned up and lakes and rivers all over the country and it's, it's a real big problem because they're like, they're like invincible breed. Like a motherfucker I'm looking forward on here. Um, it doesn't say what country it comes from Cobra.

Speaker 5:          01:05:41       Wikipedia. See, it's a. it's a scary thing though, man. They just come in and like, imagine if you're like, the guy likes going fishing and they're scary as fuck. Looking man, they look like some fucking crazy dinosaur thing, man. Okay. They are from Africa, so I wasn't talking out my ass. So this is the. This is the fish. It's. It looks like. Look at this shit. It looks like a dinosaur. Yeah, it looks like a dinosaur. I mean look at that fucking thing. That's creepy. Looking front extension and dudes just have them for pets. I had paranas for pets and it was against the law because of that very reason. Yeah. But I know a dude who knows a dude, you know what I'm saying? We'll get you some Palanas. Yo. I had to like get illegal paranas and it's pretty bad as it was, but it wasn't like your cat in there.

Speaker 5:          01:06:32       The feed them like what need you do? I love my man. Come on. Well, what? It had no freedom. Goldfish. Goldfish. Goldfish is a. is what they love. Yeah. It's a, it's a trip. Watching a feat to man. You can feed them hot dogs and shit like that too. If you're really not into watching them kill something, but there's something so primal about watching those fucking things. Just to attack a school of goldfish and the Goldfish, it was really a sick thing that I should do. I used to get a bag of goldfish and then I would sit. I'd pull my bar stool in front of this giant tank. I just trying to take how many, how many of the Pronto? At one point I had 30 Jesus. It was a big tank is huge tankers. I don't know. Hundreds of gallons. I forget how many hundreds, but it was really big.

Speaker 5:          01:07:16       Anyway. It was made where we're a thousand. It might have been over a thousand gallons I think. Whoa. I don't even remember anymore. It's been so many years. Anyways, big tank. I had too many. When I had like 30. It was good number. When I had like five five's a good number because they get crazy and you started to kick start killing each other. If you have too many of them are not. Even if you have too many of them, just one of them shows up with a limp. That's a wrap. That's a wrap. Daisy, even if they're not hungry, they just attack them. They just tack them and fuck them up. So um, I would uh, dumped the goldfish in there and they would look at the goldfish for a second and they would like slowly move closer, slowly move closer and then one of them would go for it and when one of them would go for it, they would just dart, snap and cut a goldfish in half and then the blood would be in the water and then it was on like donkey Kong.

Speaker 5:          01:08:00       And then I would sit there and watch them go back and forth and chasing them around these little driftwood things and shit. And the Goldfish don't know what the fuck is going on. And they're just getting cut down like a Goddamn horror movie. And their primal man, they're fucking savage stealing dead goldfish from each other. Like one's got a half a goldfish. The other one comes up and bite it off of his face. So after like a good, like, like killing. When they would go nuts, they would be missing lips and shit. Their lips would be because there would be stealing from each other and they cut their own lips off, so they were always like this. Really. They're creepy looking anyway, but there were even more creepy when they're. They're white teeth were exposed and they'd be swimming around his fucking tank and a lot of people cut their lips off just so they can see the white teeth and you pull them out and you remove their lips and then you put them back in the water and they swim around and they swim around like monsters.

Speaker 5:          01:08:49       They look. They look even scarier that way. Modified paranas dude. There's a fucking crazy parana. It's a. it's a like a cousin to a persona and they just fuck. What is the name of it? This big tiger fish and they just caught one in the Congo. This guy went and they had this TV show about it. He caught this thing in the Congo. It's the nuttiest thing you've ever seen in your life. It's got teeth that are as long as great white shark teeth, enormous teeth, and it looks like a monster. It does not look like a real fish and just this ridiculous mouth of giant fucking teeth and just the dead eyes and his big fucking plate covered body of death, just swimming through incredibly fast waters and fucking things up and it's huge. It's a hundred pounds, 150 pounds. They killed people. They've bitten people's legs and shit.

Speaker 5:          01:09:37       Taking chunks out of them. You fall in man, they bite you. If you're still in there, they're going to keep biting. Set. It's a wrap. There's a bunch of them, man. They really are like a giant Purana that we're separated from these man. Those things had the legs. We'd all need to. Well, we're fucked. If fucking mountain lions increasing population in California, especially southern California. It's every couple of years. Some asshole on a bike. It's jacked by a cougar. I know. I love fucking hiking, but I guess so smoking and going hiking and I get so apparent. I walk around and my brother came to visit me. I was walking around with rocks because it's not discovery channel thing, but people getting attacked by mountain. Bring Mace if you want to bring something. Bring. Like I had bear mace that I used to bring when I would live in Colorado.

Speaker 5:          01:10:21       When I lived in Colorado, I used to carry a gun. I carry two guns once a gun always. And Mace. I bring Mace because bears. You don't really want to shoot bears man, because first of all, the nine millimeter you shoot a bear, guess what? You're not going to kill him. You're just going to make them really, really fucking mad. You know? And Colorado doesn't have too many. Grizzlies are. A lot of it was black bears, but they could. I mean Shit. And they're in Montana. They're in a lot of places you don't know. I mean they don't have a real accurate number of how many grizzlies are out there and if they've found a few in Colorado it was because there was a zoo that we went to that they had to grizzlies that were in the zoo. And the reason why they had them in there was because they had gotten to use to people and they start jacking people's garbage and once they start jacking your garbage, that's it.

Speaker 5:          01:11:03       They know that that's a food source and they never quit. They just didn't ever move on to a new neighborhood. They just will camp out and just jack your garbage every night so it becomes an issue and they have to kidnap him. Fuck it, man. That's when you see them out there. I mean, I never saw a bear in the wild, but I did see a mountain lion. But seeing a bear in the zoo and just thinking about this thing is allowed to roam around in the same area as you like. This is a monster. Giant fucking enormous monster. And sometimes they get really hungry. Oh, and let your kids don't fuck. They'll fuck you up man. Just see grizzly man. No, no, no to you guys. The best comedy ever. Oh my God. What's Grizzly man? Grizzly man is a documentary about this guy named Timothy Treadwell.

Speaker 5:          01:11:47       Timothy Treadwell was this guy. It was like a love with grizzlies was one of the weirdest things ever mad, really strange, and the guy was Uber Gay, just really gay and completely in denial and the way he would like face his gayness was to live in the woods with these fucking bears. It was the strangest thing ever. Has God. There was so many deep psychological issues going on with this guy barry closet. Yeah, like the interview his friends and they're like, well, he used to talk in an accent, but then he stopped. He just one of those guys. I mean, it's completely nuts and he'd be out there. I'm the only one who's out here saving these bears. Meanwhile, the park rangers like, you don't have to save them. All right there bears. No one's here not doing anything. Like you're crazy. You're living with these bears.

Speaker 5:          01:12:29       You're, you're, you're actually endangering the bears because you're getting the beers used to being in contact with humans and that's what gets bears in trouble. They get used to people being around because he's around all the time and like, oh, well let me go just jack this dude picnic basket. And then you gotta shoot him. So what? He's actually doing his fucking these bears over, right? So this guy is just out there every year. I'm here saving these bath. These parents without me, they'd be nowhere. And they're like, he's. He calls them my. Has a bunch of names so I am. Hello Mr. Cupcake, you know, and the bear takes a shit and he runs up to the pair shit. He goes, oh, it's warm. Oh it just came out of her. But it just came out of her. But this is warm. Like this guy is touching it and he's excited that he's in contact with this shit that just came out of her ass and I'm not kidding.

Speaker 5:          01:13:11       And he thinks it's a magical shit. I could just amazed by this. Amazing. It's warm. He actually said that she's feeling her shit saying that it's warm because you imagine if he was doing that to a woman, a woman, a woman, you know, he runs into her bathroom and fucking jacks are shit. And he's holding onto it. It's just came out of her. But it's warm. It's just as bizarre. Just as bizarre to be doing that with a fucking bear. You weird. Great movie at the end. He dies. Yeah, sure it is. It's um, Werner Herzog. Fucking fascinating because it seems like Werner Herzog is not in on the joke, which makes it even more interesting. It's like his guy is a brilliant documentarian. Does he know how hilarious is, is because it doesn't appear that he does because it's doesn't seem like he's playing it off that way at all.

Speaker 5:          01:13:54       And even when he talks to the woman at the end, I would love to sit down with him, like off the record and asked him a question. I would love to go blue. Did you know that was funny when you were doing it? Yeah, because it's God damn brilliant dude. It's hilarious. It's so funny. I was like great. Christopher guest movie deadpan everybody to bring in like the sheriff from up in Alaska. Well I knew he was going to get in trouble up there. These interviews, these people, and they're talking about how like, how he had to, you know, recognize the body and now they had to shoot the bear because the bear was still there, like guarding over the bodies. Yeah. They had, the guy had flown over. Oh yeah, you have to kill them once they start killing people. You have to cry. But it was an old what it was.

Speaker 5:          01:14:32       Was he the guy they called it suicide by bear. And what happened was the guy had just decided to stay way past. You're supposed to and when you get to a certain point in time, the bears that are conscious or that are up that aren't hibernating or all the ones who are dying, they're all really old and the really old bears get desperate and they can't. They can't get any food. And they started killing their own babies. And when, when you see bears killed their own babies, you're supposed to get the fuck out of there, right? Because if they're killing their babies, they're desperate. It's fuck, you know, they're eating anything. They eat their own goddamn babies. And um, he, he basically went back and like October, November when the bears are camping and in, and a bear killed him and took a long time and there's a video, but there's no, there's no image because the lens cap was on, but the camera was running and they have like seven minutes of him getting torn apart by bears, by this one bear.

Speaker 5:          01:15:23       And because the thing about bears is they just start eating. You see a real carnivore or rather real Predator like a cat. Cats kill you first because they want to keep killing things and they don't want to have to worry about fighting you. You know, the hyenas. Hyenas just started eating. And that's the same with bears. Bears that get you down. They just started eating monkeys. Chimps, chimps kill monkeys. They just eat them. They don't kill them first. There's videos of chimps screaming while I'm or monkeys rather screaming while the chip has a hold of it's little body and his biting its legs off, pulling it apart. And this monkey score reaming and it looks like a little person. It looks like a weird little person in an outfit and it's getting ripped apart by this champ. Who's this chewing on it. It's fucking dark dude.

Speaker 5:          01:16:16       And that's what bears do. And that's what bear did. The Timothy Treadwell just aidem for seven minutes until he died somewhere. That footage exists to no video, man. Only audio. There was no video footage. Yeah, but Werner Herzog listened to it. That fucking. He didn't play it for us and he said this, this is too much for people to handle. We need to burn this, burn this like bitch. Some the people decide maybe just being a little over reactive. Well, how, when did they, when did you shoot that? How long ago? A few years ago. It's like 2000 years ago. Maybe. Maybe even more than that. It might've been like 2004 on watch this video. Every time somebody gets his head chopped off, my brother's like, he'll check out the video. I'm like, what are you? Well, there's nothing graphic about it. Two thousand five. There's nothing graphic about it. I mean, they don't really show you, but when they say the way they found out that the guy had died was that um, they flew in like with some supplies for them and as the guy was flying in a plane, he saw a bear that was out, which you thought was unusual and he saw the bodies, like he flew over and saw like this, the white rib cage poking up of a guy that had just been eaten.

Speaker 5:          01:17:19       He ate two of people. He ate him and he ate his girlfriend too, and they are both fucked up there. So they landed and they had a, they had a land with rangers and rifles and Shit, and they had to kill the bear and the bear that killed the bear and they left the bear. This is the really crazy thing. And then they came back or a couple of months later, fucking nothing left. Nothing of the body. It had all been absorbed. Animals had eaten in other bears at eating, at the bones were all crushed up, was incredible. They finally were a couple of rib bones. It's really amazing. We were talking about this giant grizzly bear, I mean they had photos of the bear and video footage of the bear from previous stuff that he had gotten before the bear killed him back when they were salmon running like they got the bear eating fish and shit.

Speaker 5:          01:17:57       Dude. Giant animal and it just within a few months it's gone get really big before you watch it though. Oh Dude. It's one of the greatest documentaries ever. Most unintentional comedy, I think ever in a document that Richard Simmons out in the woods and colony brothers. It really is like the Coen brothers did it as a goof. I mean, I really. I mean I was amazed, but it's kind of perfect that the bear ate him. Like in terms of the documentary, like sure hurts. I was probably there going. Yeah. Well I believe he started the documentary after the guy died. Oh, okay. How did they. He had video footage that he had shot himself for years and years set up by himself and he's so crazy who set up the camera and he would look into the camera. I'm out here alone in this far as protecting these bears because no one else gives a shit.

Speaker 5:          01:18:46       No one gives a shit, so fuck you park ranger. Fuck you. United States government. Fuck you. Alaska. He's just going off like screaming. Okay, let's try this again. Take three. And they'll do it like over and over and over again. And he obsessive Lee filmed themselves. So they have, not only do they have this incredible wealth of footage from here, but I watched the grizzly man diaries. Okay. Because he had so much footage. They turned into a fucking reality show seven years after this Doodad. Okay. And I watch it all the time. There's a fucking reality. She didn't know that. This is like all the Easter after we're done here in Bro. Let's get something to eat. We'll hit the fucking vaporizer. Fucking have a good time. It's genius, man. It's, it's. He's just gold. He's gold all day. I wish the motherfuck was still alive. I would have them on the podcast in a heartbeat.

Speaker 5:          01:19:32       Wasn't there a part in it where he goes, everyone, did you already say this? Everyone thinks I'm gay. Then he talks about it, there's a part he wants with the camera. He's like, well, you know, you know, I guess. No, this is what he said. He goes, it'd be so much easier if I was gay, you know, just can't. I just can't find a girl. Can't find the right girl. I can't find the right girl. Maybe it's because you're living in the woods with monsters. You fuck like which chicks want to be. Put it in a nice roof over their head. Okay. They want to be taken care of. They want a man who loves them and supports them taking. They don't want to. Yeah. Let's go live in a house. Made of fabric. Okay. Um, amongst. You want me to sleep outside on the ground with no more within fabric above me while monsters roam around there.

Speaker 5:          01:20:16       My friends like it's Mr Cupcake. Hey Mr. Capp k, when you eat me in a couple of months, can you think you could start from the headfirst, like die quicker as fast seven minutes. This guy dies. Think about how fucking law. Think about holding your breath for seven minutes. Right? That's a long ass time now. Thank you. Can't do it now. Think about something eating you seven minutes of what you died. You just pulling chunks out. You're screaming and it's just eating your feet and you're just squirting blood like a broken faucet when it just pass out a few. I don't know, man. I don't know that you're like, okay, I'm dying and you accept it and then you wake up when a bite your dick off six more minutes. You're like, okay, that still still conscious to just starts eating your asshole. Just big chunks and he's got his giant Paul and he puts it on your cheek and you just rip it out your ass or just pulling up literally eating your asshole while you're still alive. Dude. Fuck man. Fuck a bear. People in my neighborhood too, and I lived in the Colorado mountains. I'm like, well, if you see a bear, you report it. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm going to shoot that thing. I'm going to shoot the fuck out of that thing. If I had a rifle, not with the pistol, the pistol, you got to use the main span. Fucking scary animals. God Damn. We need them. We need them. We need them in our woods. Fuck you. We do that can kill them all. Put them in zoos.

Speaker 2:          01:21:41       I don't do the whole. I don't. I don't know if you guys serve, but I have a bunch of friends at surf and they want me to go. I'm like, you, do you have any ideas like the size of the monsters in there. Guy Just died recently in Santa Barbara and a half in front of his friends, like if sharks were walking on land, you'd go, I'm not going. Were those those? Those monsters are hanging out. You're going really on this little board. You're going where there are like things that eat people that are twice or three or four times the size of you. You know what I am going to play. If I'm going to surf, I'm going to do it on the xbox and I'll do this. This is what I tell them. Tell people

Speaker 5:          01:22:20       if there were three werewolves in the country, fact proven three werewolves, would you ever be in the woods at night on a full moon? Why the fuck would you take that chance? You wouldn't. Okay, well there's a million sharks you fuck. And they're not just sharks when it's a full moon there sharks every day and they can't even stop because if they stopped, they drowned. So they have to keep swimming and they have to keep beating navy shoes and license plates and tires and they'll eat you. They'll eat you bro, and they'll eat you quick. They take giant bites out of you and your fucking. I'm sure surfing is awesome, but it ain't that off. I wear shoes in the ocean and wouldn't even fight like the biggest thing ever. Can we save an oculus on that smart thinking right there? Yeah. I mean people like we'll always like, like this is another subject, but people who might not be so scared of things, so paranoid of things like obviously a lot of this is for entertainment folks.

Speaker 5:          01:23:13       I'm not shaking every time I walk by the ocean, but the point being logically and realistically, we're all going to die eventually. Absolutely, but that's not the fun way to go. The Fun way to go is you live a long life. You fucking party your ass off. You make a lot of good friends and people miss you. When you're gone. You're surrounded by your friends and loved ones. This is passed to the next stage of his existence. Not, oh, look how pretty. The water fucking thing is. Just taking chunks out of Sadie. I mean fucking huge man. I mean there are sharks that are 30 feet long out there. What are you talking about? 30, long, 30 feet long with giant mouths that have so many teeth. If one breaks off, another one pops into its place. There's no animal like it in the world.

Speaker 5:          01:24:00       Every other animal when they lose a tooth or fucked, okay? If a lion loses his tooth, managed to new, young lions going to take over, motherfucker. You can't be gumming no gazelles. How He protected me with them, fucking shitty teeth that deadline and dies up. Not a shark, they can lose 100 teeth. What are clink? Clink, clink, clink. Just designed to fuck you up, man. You're drowning at the same time. Horrible is drowning. You're drowning while something is eating your entire like those Parana fucked up those Goldfish, man. I'm just scared of Karma, man. I'm fucked. A lot of goldfish. Over a lot of goldfish to a watery grave. If there's any Karma out there, I mean the universe does it really give a fuck about the difference between life of a goldfish or life of a person and I took some pleasure in the death of Goldfish and I set it up.

Speaker 5:          01:24:45       You know I introduced them. Alien fish that aren't even supposed to be in this environment. I had a fake artificial environment in my own home and I will use it for a little goldfish. Coliseum you playing God and playing God. Man, I ain't going to no water. I know what I did wrong. I'm not going in there. Make a genetically modified goldfish fish going to get huge. It's going to come for you. Minutes can grow. Legs is going to come knock on your door. Did you hear about the shit that's going on in Russia? Man? What's going on in Russia? The wolves. The. What is this going on in the screen there, Brian? Some weird shit right there. That's always been like a. What is it? Like the design. Oh, you put it there? Yeah. Oh, you fucking Weirdo. Trying to be artistic. It's. Anyway.

Speaker 5:          01:25:21       There's a pack of wolves in this area of Russia. There's unprecedentedly big. It's 400 Woltz and they're acting together and they're killing livestock like horses. They're acting together as a group. It's a really scary and they. They have groups of hunters that are going after him. Let me, let me pull it up real quick. Holy. It's really scary. You imagine you're in a woods stroll. 400 will do it. It's really scary. There's a video of wolves in Russia. Have you ever seen the video on youtube? Yo, you gotta. Check out this video. It's fucking bad ass. Have you ever seen it, Brian? Now some people think it's fake. I don't. I do not believe it's fake. It's a video of these guys that are pulling over people in Russia, they're pulling people over for traffic violations and it's, you know, they're right by the wolves, the woods rather.

Speaker 5:          01:26:07       And as they're in there, one guy's pulling a guy over, a guy yells who's on the other side of the street and as he yells to the guy who's the comp panics, he yells something in Russia, Russian panics and gets into the car of the people he pulled over, jumps in it quick and as he jumps in it, this pack of wolves runs down the street. It's a mother fucker dude. And as they're running, they go, why do people think it's fake? A lot of people don't think is real. You know, people would call fake mean looking at you. You call faking everything I pull, pull it up. I'm a pack of wolves. Police officer. Pull up, pull that up on Youtube. But anyway, so this is super pack of wolves is terrorizing this fucking town. They have killed 30 horses in four days. Oh yeah.

Speaker 5:          01:26:53       What? They've never seen anything like it before. And they've had to put bounties on wolves heads. So they're putting 210. I don't know what it is, a because it's pounds. I believe it is. It might be euro's 200, 10 euros. It's probably euro's, right? Do they go into the year? That was a vodka by the way. It was. It fake. It was figure. Okay, well this isn't a podcast. How did they find it? How did they get to volunteer? I searched it and it says a wolf attack. Videos of viral ad for vodka brand. But it doesn't even have the.

Speaker 5:          01:27:26       Pulled the video. It's pretty. It does seem a little bit to uh, well filmed. Did it too good of a job. So anyway, this, think about this shit man. The, the, the, the is up there are minus 49 degrees Celsius and it killed off all the normal prey of these wolves says wolves thrive in cold weather. But there's a lot of animals. What are you doing, man? Just cue that shit up. So we'll have to watch this guy's gay ad presents. I present here it goes. So yeah, see that looks like to. Well framed, you know, that's a good traffic camera. Both, both cars are in frame, but it's pretty dope man. Alive when it happens. I wish it was real. She was aware it wolf. Yeah. So, I mean think about that temperature right there. Forty nine degrees Celsius. That's fucking crazy. That's Edmonton minus 49 degrees.

Speaker 5:          01:28:24       Yeah. Yeah. And so, um, these wolves have nothing to eat. So they all figured out how to get together. And this population, this town is only 1300 people. So wrap your head around that. 1,300 people. 400 wolves. So almost for every three, three people, there's a wolf. Oh Man, what the fuck man. Get the fuck out of that. Every three people there's a wolf. The chances of you dying by wolf attack are like, oh, like the chances of you dying of old age. It's terrifying and it's just starting to happen again. There's been two instances in the last, like fucking 100 years or so, and they've both been within the last 10 years of people getting killed by wolves. It's on record. We used to think that like wolves are cool, man. They're like, dogs, man. They're like Randall's. No, they're fucking killers. They'll kill you too, you know, if they catch you alone.

Speaker 5:          01:29:17       We used to have like all the member, the Old Walt Disney movies, there was a woes like try to get beauty and the beast. The wolf would fucking sneak up on him. So yeah, you'd have to fucking fight off the wolves that wanted to kill beauty. Right? Remember that shit, they attacked them. That's real. We just have fucked them over so bad in this country that we started to have respect for them. Again, like wolves aren't so bad, so you're cool man. We need them. They're beautiful. You know, they represent freedom. Rules represented freedom. Like there's a never think about walls, but this guy thinks about was everyday I think about because I'm closer to an animal than you are for sure. There's one percent DNA differential, whatever the fuck it is between humans and chimpanzees. I'm closer to Mr Cat. Goddammit. I'm too close. I want to go into the woods. Some gravitating. I gravitate towards wild. If we lived in or if there was a rain forest, I'd fucking live in it. If we have a rain forest right here, I figured out how do you kill the bugs? Where do you go? Electricity. Can you zap them? I need to have an area around, but we live in a fucking rain forest. It'll be the shit.

Speaker 3:          01:30:20       Yeah. Buy Shit. You mean insanely dangerous and boring? Blinders can kill you and spiders can kill you. I'm not going there. How about spiders to destroy your hormones? Man, there's a fucking Brazilian spider that we talked about. What the fuck was I thinking? I'm just scared of. I don't remember. I'm just scared of regular spiders in my bed because you read that. Some of these spiders are poisonous here in California and they hide in your shoes and your birch. Yeah. They're black and brown. Yeah. I saw brown outside my house. The other glue. So the scary ones because rec looses. They do something to your skin. It causes your skin to die so it causes your

Speaker 5:          01:30:58       tissue to dissolve. It's really fucked up, man. Necrosis. I believe it's called and when they bite you, they unload on you with all this fucking toxin and it just crushes your skin. Whereas like giant gaping wounds occur from one little spider bite because all the area around your skin dies and rots. It's scary shit, man. Really Spooky Shit.

Speaker 3:          01:31:22       And again, I'm taking this flashlight, Brazilian wandering spiders. That's what it is. And I believe we've talked about it on the podcast before you got to look this up. Were you always a musician like growing up or did you don't change subject motherfucker. We're talking about vipers and shit. I wanted to bring up this, this one thing, and we're talking about less the, the Hornet versus Hornets versus wasps thing that you mentioned the. Was it hornets versus wasps? The, uh, when the Hornets attack the bees nests or whatever. Yes. You see that, that military shit scary. Those are monsters. I mean if they were big,

Speaker 5:          01:32:00       they were like horses. Can you imagine a beam of the size of a horse called the Burmese Russell Viper. That's what it is to Russell Viper. And what these things, they caused uncontrollable hemorrhaging of your pituitary gland where all your sex hormones are controlled. So if you get bit by this fucking thing and if you survive the bite, which you probably won't, you'll be permanently impotent. And you become like a unit, like you lose all your pubic hair, you stop, you stop producing testosterone, your body just gets jacked, you get neutered. And if you get neutered by a bite, no, this is a python. Oh yeah. With the, with the spider does is a spider brakes your dick by forcing you to have raging uncontrollable hard ons that you can like painful agonizing hormones are hard ons. And when the heart opens over your Dick's broken. So either you're dead, either you die.

Speaker 5:          01:32:48       And then when, by the way it's the most potent toxic in any spider. So it either kills you or you live and your Dick's broken forever. So both animals break your Dick. It's just like they're instinctively worth. We're afraid of spiders. Just a tiniest bit like, ah. Because some of those can fuck you. Fuck up. Yeah. There's genetic memories I'm absolutely convinced. And I've read about it before where they, this guy I'm a rupert sheldrake, was talking about, he's an, I believe it's an evolutionary biologist, and he was talking about how animals are, what people are really terrifying of monsters, like no matter what the real dangers of your environment, if you're a child and you live in New York City, you know, you're not worried about car accidents or rapists or you're worried about monsters. And the reason being is because there's some ancient, ancient memories of us when we used to get killed by Jaguars and shit, you know, and we're scared of the night and we're scared of monsters because that's really what they were a man, you know, and the ones that survived of this, he carried this incredibly potent, terrifying memory.

Speaker 5:          01:33:48       And it's actually in printed into people genetically. You know, we have this idea of instincts, you know, when people have certain instincts. But then what does that mean? Okay, what his instincts mean, you, you, you know, something already. Okay? What, how do you know something already? Is it because of past experience of your ancestors in as it comes through your genetics? Well, how much stuff goes in there, how much information is now. What they've shown is that means in some ideas, even useless ones like racism can be transmitted through genetics. So the same thing that causes you to like have an instinct, you know, to not do something like don't go, don't go near Heights. Oh No, you already know it. Instinctively. The same thing is actually you can transmit other ideas into people's heads. You know, you can transmit even talent maybe into people's heads.

Speaker 5:          01:34:33       It's pretty fucking tripping when you think about it because we don't know. We don't have a documentation of where all our information comes from. I mean, how much of your information is from your ancestors? How much of it is from all these people that have lived before you, that have made mistakes and learn from them and you sort of have this internal wisdom thing going on because of that. I believe that totally. Right? Yeah. When you meet someone who is wise beyond their years, you know, what is that? Is it that they've had an incredibly life that's

Speaker 3:          01:34:58       a possibility or is it that, you know, somehow or another they have gotten a, a rich history of people who have survived and learn shit and it's incorporated into their DNA? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's very egotistical also to think that, oh, I'm, oh, I'm just a smart person where I'm very careful because I'm afraid. Like, it's like, no, you are afraid. You have millions of years of people going. That is bad. That is good. That is bad, that it's good. It's not either or. It's not either or. I mean you certainly have learned. You certainly are smart and there's, you know, some people will most certainly do learn better from fucked up situations. There's a lot of them that absolutely do. Yeah. I got a lot of buddies who don't learn, man. There's a lot of that going on, man. Yeah. There's a lot of people that don't ever learn and you just got to constantly fucking talk to him about shit, dude.

Speaker 3:          01:35:44       Come on really full Kim. Yeah. She's got a third Dui and I'm like, really? Like are you like was I see I don't get that because I am very bad at drinking and driving, but I'm 30. No, I'm really good at it and I think, I don't know if it's well, how well do you drink and drive? Well, I mean I think having a few beers, it's considered drinking and driving, so I probably drink and drive everyday to listen. First of all, you're just kidding because cops listen to this dummy. They ever pull you over for a fan of the podcast. You know what I'm saying is I get out of the car. Which comedy club you're going to. What I'm saying is that anytime you go out, you have maybe a couple of drinks. You go in your car that's considered drinking and driving.

Speaker 3:          01:36:38       You know, if you have two beers in you that's drunk. Hey, whenever you know, whenever Brian is wrong about something, he gets very excited. He knows his voice. No, it's how much, how much you went about, I bet you money two beers is drunk and we get pulled over. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Especially man, that's what I do. If I'm going anywhere, I'm drinking alcohol. My problem, my problem is I don't do the two. Like if I have two or three even I'm like, all right, I'm big boy. I know how to stay in between the lines and stuff, but the problem is is if I did get pulled over, of course I would get a Dui. What I want to know is these three, these people that have three of them are not usually the case. Is that usually the case that or I mean, is your friend like blackout drunk driving or is he. You know, just like just friends. I don't know. Maybe it's just got bad luck. Bad lesson. Only three times have ever had more than one drink. This guys got good luck. Really? It's worse than that. Are you done after three? He's done because he may go to jail. I'm never going to do that again. Really after two people are scary. Drunks and cars. People were scary people. I mean that's the real problem is there's too many of us and we can't help everybody get their shit together. So you're always going to be around a bunch of people that are broken no matter what our. The way our

Speaker 5:          01:37:56       society exists, it's just too God damn big. It's too big and the competition is too powerful and too strong for us to pay attention to these people that are falling by the wayside. So if you don't pay attention to them, well all these fucking idiots, they're just running around, slamming into people and you can't fix them. Began with eggs on man. This is just the candidate evolved the whole world. It's like God damn, I only got a certain amount of years. This is ridiculous. There's nothing you can do to help them. They have to help themselves and they don't want. They don't even think there's anything wrong with them. You know, like fuck you bitch. You know, enrolling with me, bitch.

Speaker 2:          01:38:28       You imagine that you end of your life is some idiot who's just like fucking wasted gets his car. I can drive home. It happens all the time, mack. It's terrifying

Speaker 5:          01:38:38       and no one know and there's so many of them out there that it's almost nothing you can do about it. You just have to be vigilant, keep an eye out and be very careful as you drive and getting connected in any way randomly on purpose to fucking nuts to people that suck to dummies. So many of them out there, man. We all know him. We all know dudes who are just beyond fixing. There's nothing. I know a bunch of dudes that if I knew I could get away with it, I fucking shoot him. Right, right in the head. If I was alone in the woods and it was like armageddon time and like there was no more media and cell phones didn't work anymore and I thought, this dude be a problem. I just walk them in the woods. Come on, let's go for a walk. Man. I saw some deer over here. You might help me hunt. Bow Hunt. It's over there.

Speaker 2:          01:39:19       Yeah, she fucking. I remember you said one of the people in Austin and scared the shit out of whoever we were with. I can't remember. We were like, why are you being says he being serious. Tell them mice and men. You just bring your friend. Look over there. We're going to go to that looks to the pickup chicks all night. We're going to get wasted. It's going to be a good time.

Speaker 5:          01:39:41       Yeah. There's certain people that you worry when you're around them. There's certain people that you feel like they're going to victimize your loved ones. You know, there's certain people like certain, like a certain level of of criminal, certain level of violent offender and random violent offenders. People rape and beat women up and then you know, it could be your mom, it could be your sister, it could be your daughter. I should be dead, dead. Not In jail, not for a year, not for a day. Shoot them and let's move on. Okay? We got a broken person. We can't fix them. Their favorite thing to do is to hurt people. The favorite thing to do is to hurt people that you love and you're the vulnerable ones. The women really kill it. Kill it. Now, killer would fucking fire bullets. Whatever's cheapest. Fuck Cam. Sorry. Come back as a butterfly. Suck my cock by Bang, Bang, Bang. Fuck you. Stupid.

Speaker 2:          01:40:29       A humane level so he doesn't know he's going to die.

Speaker 5:          01:40:32       It doesn't even matter if it's humane. Just fucking shoot him. What is his last moments are important. You know, don't torture them, but you know, what does the police stop? Shut the fuck up. It doesn't matter if yellow, you're going to shoot him in the head to yell at him. Yeah. Right. Well, animals in the zoo. I mean, how many animals in the zoo need to be fed and what are we going to give him? Steak. That's stupid. Give them chickens. You fucking

Speaker 3:          01:40:54       beeble man. Get some cons. Throat concen there. I bet bears would love to eat. I'm tired of berries too. Tired to picnic baskets. Just throw a net cage. Some fucking guy has been busted for the fifth time. Drinking and driving slides into a family of five. Thrown in that fucking cater. Dana white will be in charge of that. And this colosseum now. That's what I take over the UFC. Dan is going to retire. They're going to ask me to take his job. I'm going to go. Okay. I've got an idea though. Sit down. Listen. Okay. After the nuclear war, life is cheap too. That's the problem. If there was, if we could go back in time right now to the coliseum, you know, what would you do? Would you stand up and say, you must stop this please. What are you doing? No, you would sit down and you'd go, you're going to drink that wine.

Speaker 3:          01:41:39       Yeah. Fuck. It would be sitting there. We'd be drinking wine right next to us. There'd be some old dude fucking some boy in the ass. You know? That's how they rocked it back then. It would just bend them over the fucking rails, the coliseum and bang them in the ass while the while the things are going on. Dude, they were banging little boys left and right back down and you just had to look away, look away and take us to be banging boys. We'd like a time machine and you're like, it's just so culturally accepted and like everyone's doing. All of a sudden you're like fuck. And you're like, why am I bugging this kid? And you're like, oh well it's kind of accepted it. And then you go back to the future and like, what did you do? A wig. That is so funny.

Speaker 3:          01:42:23       Oh my God. What? How long would it take you to think in jail before you started going gay? Never. Never. You never go to yammer would go again. What if it was like a really feminine guy? Look really soft. Hardly any appeal. Masturbation forever. Like everyone who says they wouldn't like, you're like, I'm sure those fucking dudes when they were going to jail, like I'm not going to be gay. And like 15 years down the line, like, well I feel like fuck it. Something that only gets 15 days, man. Yeah, I think they just start getting addicted right away. In the Mexican community, they call it gay for the stay. There's a thing with a, a lot of people that go to jail and then do some gay shit, but they only do it in jail when they get out. They're not gay at all.

Speaker 3:          01:43:01       He ever see that American me, that Edward James almost moving. There was a lot of that going on that movie. Like he would come out and it was all fucked up sexually, just wanted to rape chicks, bang him in the ass because that's how you would get guys in jail. Yeah. It was really creepy movie man. It was my first real exposure to the Mexican gang culture that I've ever had or any la gang culture. You know that in colors. I watched a music video for colors the other day. I forgot about that one night man. Talking Co's as ice tea before he played a cop on TV. The most ridiculous shit ever. Iced tea as a cop on TV. It's like, what? What, how did that happen? He had a song called cop killer. A song. Okay. It wasn't a party he was playing. He wrote that Shit. You know I'm a motherfucking cop. Killer number. He was asked. He was in a a wrap. A rock for sure.

Speaker 2:          01:43:52       Body count. Body count, body motherfucking can button. That was some hard. Met Him at the comedy store one night here.

Speaker 5:          01:43:59       Who's in the audience at the comedy store when he was cool. Yeah. I met. Make some joke. I forgot what it was, but I was a big ice tea fan when I was in the newspapers. I used to listen to a iced teas, rap albums. Let's get buck naked.

Speaker 2:          01:44:11       You didn't fuck. Holy Shit. We got some great ship. It's just so weird seeing them playing a cop.

Speaker 5:          01:44:16       It's like, what? Huh? It is playing a dad. You can sit down back there and

Speaker 2:          01:44:23       yeah. Ice Cube ice cube rather than this. The Dad. Yeah, man. He's a duty as a dad. I understand all that, but God damn dude, if easy you were alive. He'd be like on two and a half men or something. We take it out of his mouth and go, will you stop that? That's gay. Yeah. Body count had the song where they. He kills his mom. Just flush her down at toilet. Were kids going wrong? He went as dark as he could. It was easy. Either first guy to ever die from AIDS in the road or in the entertainment world. Was it

Speaker 5:          01:44:58       for Asher? What was it? Easy to remember who died? First of all? I know Arthur Ashe database, right? Yeah. Yeah. Easy. He was one of the rare ones because I remember when easy he died of AIDS. I was like, Holy Shit. Like I was thought this was just the beginning and I'm looking down the line at some madmax situation where I'm walking around town with a fucking one of those Chinese facemask things on, you know, like you always see the Chinese people, the airports. I'm like, what the fuck man? Is this really gonna Happen? Like everyone's just gonna start dropping like flies and then it just stopped. Yeah. And you're like, what the fuck was easy?

Speaker 2:          01:45:31       He wasn't magic. Johnson was. It was not fucking the fleshlight. It's weird man. It's weird, right? What the fuck's up with Magic Johnson? Like I'm Kinda freaked out. It's, it's crazy.

Speaker 5:          01:45:41       I've heard a bunch of different stories. I can't really comment. I've heard stories about him taking medication and I've heard stories that he doesn't need the medication anymore. And then I heard he started, stopped taking the medication. His symptoms started reoccurring. The weird thing is that he's. He tests a negative. Apparently he taste tests HIV negative because the way HIV works is what you can really test is you can test for the antibodies. I don't think they can accurately test for the actual virus inside you. Very tricky.

Speaker 2:          01:46:09       Well the first guy ever, they kind of the who was HIV positive, like through like, it's not clear how it happened, but I'm the first HIV positive. They cured it somewhere in

Speaker 5:          01:46:21       Sweden or something. Oh, with stem cells, right? Yeah. With the stem cells, right? Yeah. Yeah. That was recently. Yeah. Like a month ago or so. How much should they get accomplished with stem cells? They have to dance around stuff and they have to like, like, like the skin gun. Have you heard about this thing that they've got? There's a new thing that they've figured out how to do, where they can actually take cultures from your skin. They reproduced with your own stem cells and then they spray it in sort of a gun on your, um, on your skin where it's burned and it only takes like a certain amount of time to cultivate like an hour two to cultivate. They can do it really quickly. They reproduce this stuff and then they spray it on you and it radically cuts down healing time radically. Like they showed this one guy who had been burnt in a fire and then he looked like he didn't have a fucking scratch on them. They showed images of this guy, giant blistering second degree burns big welts all over his hand and shit. Well, they spray this shit on him man. And it builds within four days you've got like Nu skin and it looks healed. It's a trip and it's all stem cells. But people say

Speaker 2:          01:47:23       hell though. It's from his own body though. This is what people don't understand. You don't have to kill babies. Get stem cells there. Everyone thinks that everything comes from the fetus, but you don't have to. And now they have a way to reverse it. Like to take your own and reverse it to like, it's, I've fucking done what people thought they were going to encourage abortion because

Speaker 5:          01:47:41       babies, they needed stem cells from fetuses. Yeah. You know a god damn man. You know, let him, let him work with Shit. It's like these nutty Christians and have these Kooky ideas about what they should and shouldn't do with tissue and cells. Like what the fuck, man, what should you do if a girl has an abortion, she just flush it. You're telling me if there's something that you can learn in there that can unlock the secret to immortality or cure cancer or whatever the fuck it can do, you're telling me you should just throw it away because it's dead and it's immoral and that Nina, somehow none of the. You're profiting off of abortion, but the reality is people are so creepy. They probably would start doing abortion, right? They would start encouraging them. You want a fucking baby shit. They yell, Dude. How long before there is abortion porn?

Speaker 2:          01:48:23       Think about that. People like just how long before they would start paying for abortions. We had this fucked up with porn. Sex probably already is. Listen to this. We had a porn star on that 90 show podcasts I did yesterday that was eating out a girl and started bleeding and they were like, you know, she started her period and found out it was a miscarriage into her mouth. So it was he, she was eating a pussy probably if somewhere like guys would pay a lot of money and I'm so sad right now. Right now. Well that's not anybody's fault there. No, no that, that was Kayla page. So support Caleb Patriot. You were telling me about her. Right. So you, you've been doing these naughty show podcasts. Are you going to keep doing those to everybody about the other podcasts you have because you have a website, [inaudible] dot TV. Right. And all of the podcasts are there. They're all in it. Ask

Speaker 5:          01:49:22       us like, what is his desk was shit, what? Are you guys bad as? No, it's totally not that. Does it opium from opium. Anthony nicknamed us the desk for a long time ago because I came onto the opiod anthony show and at the time it was my friend Tate Fletcher, who was on the ultimate fighter and he was on the show at the time. He came with me and Eddie Bravo, who's the Jujitsu guy, so they're just my friends. We were just traveling together and so they came into the studio and a cop goes, oh, Joe Rogan brought into the death squad and then we just started like, that's right with a desktop,

Speaker 3:          01:49:48       so juvenile and ridiculous and so over the top and retarded. So we decided to keep it. So we did this naughty show podcasts. It's usually a porn star and Sam Tripoli's 90 show and Sam, who's our buddy who's been on the podcast a bunch of times and I did a bunch of touring with Sam up and up in Canada. We did Toronto together. Sam's awesome Jason Team. Uh, and so anyways, it's once a week. Jason Tubes. Austin too. I won't leave you out there, dude. Yeah. You know, I love you anyway. Three squad that TV. And so as all the pilots, we do a lot of fun, they also do, whenever there's a ufc they get hammered and they watched the UFC together and do their own coinciding podcasts, like talking shit about fights as they go down. And sometimes you even had joey on that one. One we have Joe fucking fun was, it was great.

Speaker 3:          01:50:31       Got to go watch the UFC with Joey. I have to accommodate and he sits next to joe ideas, you know, you can't get any better entertainment. And Joey Diaz last the last UFC hung on acid drops two tabs of acid and watching cage fights and they all, I mean, what was that like? What was that like sitting there with him for six hours? Well it's like you're in bed with them because the seats are so small. So you kind of like on his lap like holding like a, like a big stuffed animal so that you've got you, you got that. But then you've got like the most hilarious commentary ever. What's cool is that, that that's what we do on the UFC drunk as we pretty much, you know, we'll have some people like that, Joey Diaz and stuff like that and just getting drunk and watching us sees and it's kind of like a commentary, see a lot of people, lot of your fans like to rewatch the UFC.

Speaker 3:          01:51:16       So it's like, hey no, turn it on with our commentary this time and it says a bunch of other comics just doing your job. But, but drinking and smoking way do it the right way. Yeah. Well I could never do it the right way to. Because a lot of things you say when you're fucking around with your friends are very disrespectful, you know, you say good, I bitch, what the fuck? I tell you, you know, hope you brought your jammies. Guys will sit when they're drunk and they're stone and they're talking shit. But they would never say that to the fighter. A fighter to hear that, uh, one. Anybody else, even if it's only between friends as a goof. So you know what Joey could say is so much different than anything I could say. Jerry says crazy shit sometimes. Som on the year, Alex, Alex. Oh my God. It's so fucking. He's the funniest guy that's ever lived. We did

Speaker 5:          01:51:57       Vegas two weeks ago, dude. He came up and he opens up the show, which is the perfect way to do it because Joe is not like an act election. Do look in our. He doesn't have time to do an hour and it's not. He doesn't the, his pace. He's got this destructo 15 minute pace and that's what he does. He doesn't want to do a 45 minute set. So when I take Joey on the road with me, it's like I'm taking another headliner. I mean he's a fucking headline or any opens and it goes up and just some it dude he was, he made me laugh so hard. I literally fell down. I was leaning against a wall. We were all back there. We were on, like Joey was onstage and we were in like the alleyway that leads to the stage where the curtains are at the, uh, the Lion King Theater and Amanda Lee, Bang, big giant ass fucking place and we're leaning up against the wall and joey's killing so hard.

Speaker 5:          01:52:42       We're all rocking back and forth and dudes are bending. People are slapping their legs were all like moving around. We're standing still, but nobody was standing still. You're laughing. I, I literally fell down. I fell down. I drop to a knee and that's all just crushes. Just get this bit about. This. Yoga is taken yoga lately and he's a 68 year old lady and his yoga class. I'm going to fuck that old bitch. I swear to God. Joe Rogan is. Get this bit about it and it's. We were crying laughing man. He said we had just been about getting in a fight, a true story about a fight that he got in with a nun when he was a kid. Oh, you got to fucking see it, man. Is that the funniest shit you've ever seen? Anything he says is hilarious. He's such a fucking treats in Arizona this weekend too.

Speaker 5:          01:53:25       Yeah. Where's he at? The new club, I believe. No, no, no. He's on some completely different thing. Yeah, because they got upset with him, but he wasn't doing the new club and he's like, you're not even open yet. Stupid. Danny murders with them. Damer. But a joey is a, he's a, he's one of those guys, man. It just makes you. There's him back then when he was really young. That's what I met Joey. Grab that picture man. Grab that picture for the folks on Ustream. You'll be able to see this for folks. Um, it on itunes. I don't know if it's available online anymore. I have to upload it. But this was Joey Diaz when I first met him and joey only weighed like, you know, like fucking 200, 10, 215 pounds up bay guy. So He's been on like a big football player looking guy.

Speaker 5:          01:54:06       And this is him right after he started doing comedy. I met him like a couple of years after he started when he moved from Seattle to La because the economy store guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just such a fun fucking guy. There's people that you meet in your life and they're just the life of the party, you know? No one in my life has ever been the life of the party. Like Joey Diaz, you know, I've, I've met a couple of crazy people that are cool to hang around with every now and then, but no one just gets shit jumping. Like Joey Diaz when he goes on stage dancing and the right away just sets the tone and the, you know, he's, he's the fucking man. Dude. He's so fun. So important man. Have Fun. Fucking cool people in your life. You know? Is that the most important thing in life? It really is, right? Yeah. Yeah. More than anything else. Being some rich Khan who's no friends, that's gotta suck bad man. You know, being some dude living in some giant fucking mansion, 14 Ferrari's movies in sweatshops and shit like, and the social network. It sucks to be rich and by yourself. It's got to be. But how would a dumb thing to say isn't important? Runes, you love me.

Speaker 5:          01:55:20       You see things when you have kids, you see everything through the eyes of children's shows. My daughter took all fucking log or a log and her party the other day. I swear to God, look like Joey Diaz. Shit in there. I couldn't believe how big it is. It's shocking. I almost took a picture of it, but I just thought that's disrespectful, but my daughter's shits on twitter. I just wanted everybody to see it. Like you need to take a look at this. This doesn't even seem normal. I need to go to a doctor. Her shit was like my forearm. Was that her first big shit? Now she takes logs. She's my daughter. She's a little savage. Savage eaten meat and shit. Shit. I bought Venison Jerky and she has tears into this shit. Just chewing up venison jerky. It's really weird. Then you look at little babies.

Speaker 5:          01:56:01       I got the newest baby baby Rogan number two is only. She's almost nine months old. And when when she gets food like it doesn't matter like she can eat like solid food, but you've got to watch her. You gotta be careful. You know, you've got to make sure that she can't get anything she could choke on. So, uh, but she always screams for food and one of the things she likes to do is get bones, so I still like put bones in her mouth and lick the bones and it's like a big, like a, like a, um, like a rib bone, you know, and it's just so weird to watch this little baby with a bone from a dead animal completely transfixed on this thing. She has one fucking tooth man. She's got one tooth and she's non at this bone with meat on it.

Speaker 5:          01:56:42       And like if you tried to take it from her, she will fucking scream. I mean screamed the baby wants to murder the animal and you know, just instinctual nature more than anything else. I've given our apples. I've given her bananas. I've given her a bunch of shit before and she likes him. It's all good. It's all nice, but nothing like that bone. You give her a bone. It's just like giving a dog a bone, you know, you give a ball, a dog dog food, like, Hey, thanks for the dog food. You give a dog a bone and you test how, what your relationship is with him, you know, because you want. Might want to take that back. I want that bond back. Oh, what's up bitch? Oh, I found your line. This is the line. You know,

Speaker 2:          01:57:18       my dad gave me a few times, taken his bone really well. Here's a biter. I got him at the, uh, the shelter. Oh, right away. He was fighting. I was like, fuck, I got to. Is a year and a half. Well, uh, yeah. He was like, no, no. Small. What kind? Twenty five. He, I'm a fuck a Boston terrier and a cocker spaniel. So it kind of looked like a baby lab kind of. But he was fucked up in the head man. And like a young young boys like teenage boys, he did not like, he hasn't fucked up owners for sure. Like he did not. He couldn't sit, give the par. I taught them that 15 minutes, but the, he was clueless when I got him. So he was like, Kinda fucked up. How long have you had them now? Uh, you know, he's dead. He died like last year. But uh, sorry. No, no, not at all. And he say, sorry, I'm not really sure. I don't like that dog. My Dog's died to all right. You're like, yeah, you only one bro. Fucking dead de one. One one bro. Uh, but yeah, he'd bite mother fucking little bone. The bone and the weed man. He like, and I wouldn't get my dogs so I'm not one of those guys. I during, I'm to get my dog stone, but I'd see him and all of a sudden he's stoned and I'm like, fuck, I had a piece of cookie. No. And he

Speaker 5:          01:58:34       good. I had a dog that was um, she was a rescue dog too. And we got her high accidentally wants, me and Joey were in my office and old house just hitting a bong and this is my early. We'd days I was just learning how to smoke weed and I couldn't believe that I'd gone 30 years of my life without knowing about weed and I was just going to overboard so we me and joey got ball lasted in my office and the dog was so paranoid. It was so crazy. She was running from everything and hiding under furniture. I couldn't get it to come out. It was weird. I was like, why are you hiding? I'm like, oh, she's high as fuck at the dog. Got a contact time hanging out with us. It's weird. It was a rescue dog too. So her, her, her being high.

Speaker 5:          01:59:13       It was not like a happy puppy that you raised being high. Like if I got high with Johnny. Johnny doesn't have any fears. Johnny's happy dog. He's got a good life, you know, but you get a rescue dog. That dog was like three or four years old before I got her nose and she was living on the street in la, eating out of garbage cans and they caught her and she had to change her bodies covered in mange when I first got her. So I had to treat her with chemicals, had it with some sort of medicine. I had a washer and I ended up like just feed her. She ate like insane amounts of foods. You could not eat enough. She was. She was a voracious appetite. So voracious. She was sneaking out of my house. Okay. Even though I fed her, she's a fat pig. She was sneaking out of my house. She would call. She had a hole that she found wish you'd go under the fence. So you go to the neighbor's house, tip over the garbage, eat their garbage and then sneak back in the yard. And I had no idea she was doing it and she was doing it forever. I'm like, this dog's fat as fuck. I'm giving her diet dog food. She's fatter, man. What the fuck is happening? She just kept

Speaker 2:          02:00:07       clever duck.

Speaker 5:          02:00:07       Well they have this thing where they feel like they're never going to have enough food. You know, they can't stop eating. They just, they will keep eating until they get sick. Like she got into a bag once, she had like a bag of dog food and just ate so much that like her, her whole body was hard. Like it was the weirdest thing ever. It's like her stomach was hard. I was worried about her and she threw up and then she would eat the throw up. I mean it's like she couldn't, she was never satisfied.

Speaker 2:          02:00:31       Yeah. And I think it's the same kind of thing is happening when you leave and when you come back, like you walk in literally they're so happy that you came here because they can't. They're like, they're, they're eating like, oh, I don't know. Tomorrow may not eat. He just left. He's probably not coming back. Fuck, I'm fucked. I'm alone again. And then all of a sudden you come back. What the fuck you came back, you know,

Speaker 5:          02:00:51       what do you think about some dogs where they've done tests, where they show that when owners are coming home that the dogs respond even when they're coming home and not normal hours, you know, unusual hours that through hidden cameras they found that dogs can anticipate when their, when their masters are coming home.

Speaker 2:          02:01:08       I believe it's driving, driving in their car on the way over there. Yeah. And it's not like a lot of dogs. I don't think it's, but it's enough that you know, you have to go, well what is this? What's going on here? How they smelling it, copies to let be sleeping on the couch and then like immediately wake up and then just sit by the door in like 10 minutes later my girlfriend would walk in the door. It was, oh, it was always so weird and I always thought it was just that the time, because the time was always kind of around the same time. He doesn't have a fucking watch, ridiculous dog like looks around. He goes, okay. When it starts, the delight, the big rock that is bright outside goes down and then he starts playing with that machine over there that makes the food, that kind of proud. That means like in, you know, figures out its own way.

Speaker 5:          02:01:52       Maybe, I don't know, because with these people, what they showed was hidden camera footage when they had the dog would like respond and we'd get up and start walking around like as the owner was coming home. It's a trip, man. You wonder. I mean, what kind of a weird connection isn't with dogs? You know, they're just always so happy. Always excited to see you. This weird fucking relationship you have, you know, they require food from you. And like what a weird psychic connection. You have this strange animal. They know when you're coming home. The fuck is going on, man. Yeah. Well who's to say there isn't, you know, who's to say, who knows? All right. That's about it, right? I guess so. That's good. So what it ended up, where you at, man, when's the next time someone could see you?

Speaker 2:          02:02:36       And uh, I'm going to be in Minneapolis some theater, some theater. You don't know where it is. Fuck, I don't go to a John Lewis Joie dot [inaudible] dot com or go to my youtube page which is youtube.com/j o n l a j o e dot and they're all there and I'm going as Jon Jon. Yeah. H, um, and check it out. And I have a new video I'm working on. She'll be out Monday. Can give us a sneak. It's guy. It's called. I am very super famous. And is from EMC Vagina. The guy who brought you, show me your genitals and I killed people. What is this going to be a like Monday morning. I'm hoping I'm still editing it now, but okay.

Speaker 5:          02:03:19       Everything yourself shoot it. Directed Edit, right? It, yeah. That's awesome. Do you have high as fuck on there? We're gonna. We're gonna. End this with highest fuck 'em this weekend. Friday night and Sunday night we're going to be at Sal's comedy whole on Melrose. It's a little tiny spot. It's only like 80 people. We're just going to go there and fuck around with Benson's. Come into a beautiful. Brian's gonna. Be there. A little esther was going to be there. Who else? Same Tripoli I called already today. I haven't talked. Might be coming to Ari's doing sexual overtone, so going to come down. Awesome. Jason Tebow. Very funny. Um, so that's it. Next weekend we're doing Braya the Improv. Um, it will sell out. So get tickets if you want to get them in advance. And then in Australia at Rudy Hill, that place that I'm doing, it's a, it's called an RSL club.

Speaker 5:          02:04:04       Whatever the fuck that is. I don't know what that is. It's like an Italian club or something like. Well, no, it's like a veterans thing, like um, but they just added a second show. There was a, an 8:00 show is sold out. So now there's a 10:00 show and that is Saturday the 26th which will be like the 25th year or something like that. It's real weird. Like they're like a whole day ahead. Have you done shows in Australia? It's fun. Yeah. I'm now. I haven't been, I haven't been fucking great. And Sydney's fun. They don't give a fuck. The men are men. The women are women. It's fucking dangerous animals everywhere. There's crocodiles and shit and I love it there man. It's a great time when the people are friendly as fuck. I, I enjoy the shit out of it. Yeah. So uh, so that's it. Um, tickets go on sale for Seattle. I'm playing the Moore Theater and uh, the more theater in, I think it's in March.

Speaker 5:          02:04:57       Yes. March 25th. They go on sale on Friday. Alright. Thank you everybody for everything. Next week we're going to have a pto. Hanson, a very funny comedian from Canada. Do you know Pete? I know of him. I don't know him, but he's. Yeah, he's very funny. He's, he'll be here and who knows who else. And eventually I get Dave Foley and I got to call boss Rutan and. Alright bitches. Um, that's the end of the show. Oh thank you. Fleshlight sponsoring us and keeping the lights on. We love you and you love us. And that's how it should be. Good to just go to Joe Rogan.net and click on the leg. It sounds like my mom just let you keep me in line. Go to Joe Rogan.net. Click on the link and enter in the Codeword Rogan to get 15 percent off. All right. Thank you everybody. We love you bitches. Nice. Thank you. Joie. You are the man.

Speaker 1:          02:05:53       Hi. It's Bob random room near a dog into yourself. Then your dog's looking at you like. Have you ever been? Then you can feel your heart fast and you're convinced that you don't have a heart attack. Close Your eyes and you're gonna bomb the only problems. And then chicken, salmon smoked up. Why did the chicken sandwich thing that they will know? You're high. So you walk around the block time, go in the store, but just so you don't know why you're there. So you just buy a pack of Gum and get the hell out of there. Can Try. Should have bought some juice and snacks, but you too. Bye.