YC5nu6hdOVM.txt

Speaker 1:          00:00:03       Hey fuckers, what's going on? Party people. Welcome. Welcome once again to the Joe Rogan experience podcast. This episode is brought to you by stamps.com stamps.com. If you've ever gone to desk dot TV and ordered one of those cute little kitty cat tee shirts, guess how they get to you bitches? They get to you through stamps.com because that's what brian red band uses. You can buy and print official US postage for any letter or package using your own computer and printer and unlike the post office stamps.com never closes. You can get posted whenever you need it. Twenty four slash seven to a great asset for small businesses

Speaker 2:          00:00:41       and not only it can eat, you can buy these stamps so it looks just like a stamp or you could just buy it like on a. It just prints it out. So like if you have an envelope, just an envelope in your printer and it prints the stamp right on the, on the envelope. It's so fucking easy. Like I was scared to use this for awhile when I first started shipping tee shirts out. I would actually go to the post office and sit there for like an hour with these boxes where this old lady that sits there puts a stamp on it and go ways it and it took forever. So I finally did this and man, I will never ever go to that post office again.

Speaker 1:          00:01:13       Post offices, brutal. There's a reason why they fucking shoot each other every now and again. They just fucking inbox outbox and bug.

Speaker 2:          00:01:23       I think the post office stamps.com, I think it was like super fast, like why are they saying.

Speaker 1:          00:01:28       It seems to me that the post office is on its way out. The ups store is way fucking easier to use and something like stamps.com. If you have a small business, why you would be crazy to use anything else. Like it's the last thing you ever want to do is take a bunch of fucking packages to the post office with stamps.com. You don't have to do that shit. You can do it whenever you want. Twenty four hours a day. It's convenient. It's the way you want it. You can just anytime you want, wake up at three in the morning and do it. You don't have to go in line and have to do. You have to deal with nobody else. It's a. it's a beautiful thing. If you use the Promo Code J R, e, m, if you look up, if you go to stamps.com, there's a little microphone in the upper right hand corner and if you go to that microphone I said Adam Carolla microphone.

Speaker 1:          00:02:17       It's an old school one. Chris rock from one of his specials and Lenny Bruce too. Nobody ever really used those microphones, but if you want to look slick, you'd get one of those microphones. Meanwhile, those microphones are pieces of shit. It would sound like fucking dog shit. If you ever did a comedy show and you had one of those microphones, everybody wants to use those microphones for like their fucking head shots, but if you were at a concert and you had that microphone, you'd be like, what is this fucking stupid piece of Shit you've given me? This ancient shitbag goofy looking fucking microphone.

Speaker 2:          00:02:47       It sounds great though.

Speaker 1:          00:02:49       Doesn't even sound that good. Those old pieces of shit. They sound terrible. Anyway, go to stamps.com. Type in aj r, e into the. And there's also, um, there's a $110 bonus offer that includes a digital scale and up to $55 free postage. So, uh, go there and check it out. It's an excellent service. And again, Brian uses it to send out all those desks. Squad, kitty, cat tee shirts. So stamps.com. Go to the mic, click it. Offer the offer. Excuse me. The offer code is j Dot r dot e Dot. So, uh, go check it out. Scale. Get it looks like a fat ass scam. Yeah, it's dope. Where your drugs on drugs, but you shouldn't, shouldn't do drugs. All right, top. See what your stamps.com. Before you do anything else, click on the microphone and during jre and save yourself some catch $110 offer. See that you get a $55 in postage coupons.

Speaker 1:          00:03:45       You get a free digital scale, which is a $50 value, $5 supply kits and a four week trial. So go check it out. It's an awesome service. We're also brought to you by [inaudible] dot com. I don't know. That's o n n I t I don't know how many of the chimp kettlebells are left. Um, I know we're almost out of him if we're not sold out already. They went flying off the shelves because they're the coolest fucking pieces of workout equipment ever. It's cool just to have it around like workout equipment. These just to put on both sides of my speakers and my living room. Just wait till we get the other ones too. I'm telling you this is this, this one's my favorite, but there's other ones that are just as bad ass. They're, they're right up there with it. It's collecting matt balls.

Speaker 1:          00:04:23       Is that an adult? I can't wait to collect all this. And we had them all done by special effects artist. So they're, they're really like, it's, it's not goofy looking. I mean it looks like a fucking real angry chimp. That's the last thing you would ever want to see if that thing had its face between your crotch and it was biting off your Dick and it had that face clap. That's the. I just put your duck off face. I'm angry. I'm a champ and I bet you degraff the Ed asner taking a shit. I think it adds a little more handsome. I think being cruel and that doesn't look like his nose at all. Chimps are fucking terrifying. Those creepy animals. Anyway, on it.com. If you go there, we got all kinds of cool shit for fitness. It is literally a one stop shop for functional fitness equipment.

Speaker 1:          00:05:08       We have kettlebells, we have. Excuse me, we have kettlebells, we have the primal kettlebells. We have regular kettlebells and all sizes. The primal kettle bells is just the chimp right now. We're expanding the line soon. Of course we have battle ropes. We have extreme kettlebell cardio workout DVD, which is like the best workout DVD you can ever get when it comes to like cardio and kettlebells. It's a brutal, brutal fucking workout and you can. You can kill yourself with a 35 pound Kettlebell if you're interested in doing any of this stuff. The one thing that I absolutely always encouraged people to get a trainer, go hire some dude over cost 50 bucks or whatever. Just make him show you the correct way to do things, filming on your iphone, and then when you do it at home, take your time, learn how to do it properly.

Speaker 1:          00:05:50       Form is very important to keep yourself from getting injured and don't try to go too fast either. It's, um, it's really important whenever you, if you're just starting working out for the first time to slowly build up, you can eventually have really hard workouts. But if you have hard workouts right away, you're just going to break yourself. You've got to be intelligent. I know you feel like a pussy if you know you. Oh well me, 20 pounds, trust me, did better. It's better to do it slow. Um, we have all sorts of supplements that can aid you in recovery, including t plus our fantastic new testosterone supplement that has been flying off the shelves. Lots of people with positive response for that and no, it's not going to make you failing drug tests and no, it's not going to fuck with your balls. It doesn't, uh, the way it works, it doesn't work in a, in a way that would introduce artificial testosterone, two body system.

Speaker 1:          00:06:39       It actually encourages your body's production of testosterone. See it would bite. There's certain routes like this stuff called Long Jack and as we've seen the PURINA's, however you say it, um, there's, there's a bunch of different supplements like magnesium aspartic acid that have been shown to increase testosterone and it's not the kind of results you're going to get with steroids, but it's also not going to kill your balls either. It's a, it just enhances your body's natural production of testosterone and decreases your, uh, your estrogen production as well. So you don't get bitch tits. I don't want to get no bitch to sun. Trust me. What isn't cod liver oil? What they used to give, like an old cartoons that it was always like the grossest are Annie, but it was good for you. It was a castor oil to Castro was the big one. Yeah.

Speaker 1:          00:07:32       Well what they didn't, you know, people were like, oh, that's all bullshit. No, it's not that liver cod. Liver oil. Fish oil is fucking fantastic for you. It's really good for you. It's one of the best things ever. If you have like sore joint before you do anything, and before you know you say, oh well I got to take Ibuprofen every day now please try this. Just go get yourself some fish oil and take like they're like a thousand milligrams. Take five a day. I know. That sounds crazy. I know that sounds like a lot. I take 10 a day. How about that? Yup. But meanwhile, my fucking joints don't hurt when you do like crazy hard workout shit. Having sore joints, sore elbow, so sore knees, things along those lines is something that you just sort of accept. You just deal with it. I'm telling you one of the greatest supplements Avar for, for any sort of inflammation in your joints, it's fish oil. Try it. You've come, let's smell so horrible. My comes delicious. I here.

Speaker 1:          00:08:30       I would have no idea. I would be pissed if I licked my calm and it didn't taste like anything. I'd be like, what's with all the fucking complaints? Jesus, could you imagine you're telling me you've never tasted your. I'm sure I have one way or another. I'm sure somehow or another, you know, they say that the average human needs like a pound of bugs over the course of their own life because you know, you're, you know, whether it's a candy bar or soda, like there's a minimal amount of bug tissue and all sorts of manufactured foods. So they say you eat like a pound of bugs. So I'm sure of all the pussy now have done. You know how I do. I know I probably. And so in my own calm, whatever, whatever, whatever. I'm here to tell a story. I licked little esther's ipad last night and it was so like sort of bigger prints on it and stuff like that.

Speaker 1:          00:09:18       And so much of her come, you've probably looked at her shit. I didn't think of that finger, but she got a little scratch in there and it's like, what do I care? It's my ipad. All sorts of food items are also available on [inaudible] dot com and, uh, including supplements like Alpha brain, shroom tech, if you want an exercise. Supplements, shroom, Tech Sports, the one. All right. This fucking commercials too long. Back o n n I t use a codename Brogan. Save yourself some cash on any and all supplements you dirty pitches. The Great William Burr. The first Sierra. You the first. Uh, I don't know because he dad, Bill Burr? No, you're William Bertha. First. William Bertha. The first. Ladies and gentlemen, one of the finest stand up comedians America has to offer and is here to visit me.

Speaker 3:          00:10:08       The Joe Rogan experience podcast all day. Powerful bill.

Speaker 1:          00:10:17       For this one, it's going to be something where guys like you, uh, especially comics in general, but comics from Boston, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for comics from Boston. No flying kick today. Right? Right. You're flying kick. How dare you, how dare you, Mr Burke a. The last time I saw you, you stopped by to say hi at the Wilbur show, man. That was cool. You came down and risk your life at the end of the world was over 24 years.

Speaker 4:          00:10:44       Well, yeah. You understand? Hope I had to do it. Then you gave me a shout on it had already left because my girl came by with the car. I had to hustle out there and I felt like an ass.

Speaker 1:          00:10:51       No, no, no, no worries man. It was cool. It was cool seeing it was fun. Yeah. There was uh, one of the weirdest events that I've ever done because we don't usually do like theaters in Hollywood. If I'm in Hollywood, I do like the Improv or I usually do. Pasadena usually worked the ice house, so to do like the wiltern it was like, it was one of those big events that all these agents come down to that you don't know. And I remember there was a point during the show, like where it had already started and we were in the green room. It was you and me and um, I think stan home was back there too, like two guys that I knew and then everybody else I didn't know. There's all these agents and they're all eating my

Speaker 4:          00:11:28       and they sit there, you know, picking at the stuff. Like I actually feel bad because, you know, I, I know my core group of people. Then there's people that I know that I've met before, but it's just like I don't see you. I see you every couple of years. So I feel I actually feel bad sometimes.

Speaker 1:          00:11:46       I don't ever feel bad when they all just show up in the green room and just have conversations and like this is so strange because it was people from all sorts

Speaker 5:          00:11:53       of different agencies. Like the honey honey is bands, people and all these other. I just like to go in there and I couldn't get. It was ridiculous. Right. It was packed. I wasn't allowed in. You would, you didn't have a badge? No. Joey isn't it? You're not allowed to that bro. Why? Joey Diaz didn't allow you to come over here. Come on. He's tired of your bullshit. That's the place I would love to play, just because I've seen so many, uh, I've seen a lot of great bands there and really good shows. I only got to see one of the show there before I saw, um, uh, Robert Schimmel who was doing show back in the day for Tom Lucas who was doing a show at the wiltern. I was like, wow, what a cool theater. But when we decided Stan hope and I many, many years ago decided that we were going to do a show on December 24th 2012.

Speaker 5:          00:12:36       So if the end of the world really did end, like everybody thought it was going to the Mayan apocalypse, we would at least be doing a show together. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. So when it happened and I was a little anticlimactic, just drove home with to sleep. Meteors, no aliens, nothing, no cooler cookie Lacan or whatever the fuck his name is. No Kettle quadel. Yeah, I don't, I don't pay attention in this. Yeah, good for you. I'm not up on the Mayan calendar. They lost a lot of fucking credibility. I'll tell you that. They're like Jimmy, the Greek [inaudible] 98 or whatever it was. When he went down, Jimmy got fucked. This guy, Jimmy got fucked because he told her the truth. God dammit. He told the truth. He basically was breaking down. Dude. It was basically if, if what happened in Amistad was true, it was like you boiled it.

Speaker 5:          00:13:23       Love how strong you had to be physically and mentally to make it easy. Just right there. You got rid of anybody week, dude. You don't see any regular African dudes coming over here playing fullback running over people that marathon runners, skinny guys is kinda like the big ones. Like the massage. They're like really thin guys do. There's certain groups of Armenians, Russians, they're just like, damn. Like I would never mess with any of their. Yeah, their heart people. We got a lot of Armenian MMA fighters part. They come out of the womb with a shaved head ready to grapple. All of them do. There's a guy down at the car wash where I go, he owns the thing and he's Mike 55 slash 60, but he still solid and he talks about how it used to grapple and all that and I laughed. I go to all you guys know how to grapple wrestle and he just goes, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5:          00:14:11       We did Armenians, Armenians know judo, a big judo contention as bad as people talk and proud. They're real men to men. I have my friend Armand, Armand, the Armenian. Uh, he was telling me a story once and he was dating this girl and she got mouthy with him and he, uh, he grabbed her by the neck and pinned her up against the wall and he's telling me this and I go, I go, why'd you do that? He goes, she's fucking Armenian. She should know better than to talk to me like that. He goes, it's one thing, and some white bitch starts talking to me like that. And he goes, this fucking Armenian bitch gets in my face because he's Armenian. He's like, bitch, you don't know your place. Like, you know, our people. I was like, wow,

Speaker 1:          00:14:52       like that's a fucking hard environment. You're coming from. Like he was justifying, grabbing his girlfriend by the neck and penny are to the wall because she said something just didn't

Speaker 2:          00:15:02       defensive him. What did she say? I'm kidding. Kidding. What was. You had a bit about that,

Speaker 1:          00:15:08       that about fuck. What was it? We want to know what a girl said before.

Speaker 2:          00:15:14       What was he on a bit. Now you might get some ice cream over there and just starts throwing punches or it was there, so there was some sort of button pushing I would guess that went on and she didn't. She thought it was only going to go halfway up the building and it went to the roof. Yeah, right away when he was driving to. Right. That's like when the dudes go to the gym, go to the zoo and they start fucking with some animal and they think it's a joke and then all of a sudden I think reaches through. You're like, oh my God, this is real.

Speaker 1:          00:15:50       Yeah. Like when a lady gets too close to the polar bear thing, ever see that video? The polar bear has a hold of her leg with its teeth, has trying to pull her through the cage and she's screaming, her leg snapped or femur snapped.

Speaker 2:          00:16:03       You know what's amazing about that is if people didn't get there in time, he eventually would have had the power in his back and his neck to pull that woman, right?

Speaker 1:          00:16:11       Yeah. It would have chewed her apart. He woulda Woulda, woulda got whatever he could get out of that one piece of leg and then he would have reached through and pull.

Speaker 2:          00:16:20       She would have been eating her. The worst of the best thing that could happen when a polar bear comes at you is you're not. They're not in a cage because at least it's over quick, but if they were in a cage and there's no one around, you're slowly going to get eaten to death because it's going to hold you down. Which I would stick a fucking artery right in his mouth. That one in effect. Go ahead, take a champ.

Speaker 1:          00:16:39       Yeah, you'd probably be bleed out from the legs. The legs are good. Spot to get bit by a polar bear. Something you're not gonna last long, especially inner thigh, and you don't. Is this the one of the lady? Oh Jesus Christ, this fucking stupid lady, crazy person decides to get close enough to a fucking polar bear that I could reach out and grab a hold of him.

Speaker 3:          00:17:05       I was thoroughly involved in binkies enormous choice. Take off your belt. Binky. I nearly $1,000 is 29 year old Cathryn Warburton from Sydney. I that looks 50 fucking leg is marble.

Speaker 2:          00:17:29       There's a video when we played it on the show anymore.

Speaker 3:          00:17:34       Pause around her legs and was chewing on. Catherine. Get jumped over to low lying barricades, hoping to get a closeup photo of banking in his cage. Instead, biggie got the closeout.

Speaker 6:          00:17:50       He has plunged his canines directly into Catherine's three d animated fake version of wider apart than in other bears. That extra space allows them to grasp and tear too. They can kill a walrus. Other teams and they only kill. It's the difference between polar bears and grizzlies. They don't eat any vegetables. There's no plants where they live. Medical doctor knows there is not much time left. Knowing the anatomy of a throw that camera at the lower extremities. No, it's not good enough. The best thing you could do there honestly is a either stabbing the eyes or a grab a belt and wrap it around its neck and choke and unconscious, but you'd have to get close enough to put your arms around its neck and hope it doesn't let go and snap your arms as you're doing that. Two words. Zoom button. There's a long time ago. She probably got a really cheap two megapixel Jamey.

Speaker 5:          00:18:50       Yeah. I would've loved to have seen how quick that thing close the distance, like the closing speed of that, like a cornerback. I can make up distance with the wide receiver and the whatever thinks it's what dudes wide open and all of a sudden gets picked off. That's like, what just happened? Oh, what's over there? It's your leg is in its mouth. Have you ever seen how fast a bear can run up a tree? Oh, it's sick.

Speaker 6:          00:19:11       It's insane. There's this. There's a video and see if he could find this.

Speaker 5:          00:19:14       Well, you know when a guy or girl, person, girl trapped in polar bear cage, Oh my God, Jesus Christ just left under the surface. Only a rubber ring distracts it from its on. Oh my God. Got So grip strength, strength to safety. Oh my God. Wet Jackass. Before the woman had been in a bas grip. Oh my God. Is that her head? When the help is try to get out of it by the trousers and pulled her back. I was just born with that weapon, getting little plunger. But this was far from a game. Witnesses looked on. A six keepers distracted the animals with meat,

Speaker 6:          00:20:02       with meat. They got backup, emergency break glass. It would if it didn't have any of that. Got there. Like Shit. There's no meat. Get the frozen meat. There's a video of a couple guys hunting. They're in a hunting blind and they're sitting there. They're hunting for bears and this fucking bear runs up the tree beside them. And I mean the guy's like maybe 25 feet in the air. The bear is up to him in one second, and I'm not exaggerating, it's just they just fucking giant bear scoots up the tree. It is what they do. Fucking terrifying. The bear didn't do anything. The guy that guy just wrote. That's it. That's fine.

Speaker 5:          00:20:43       Top One. What does it say? SASQUATCH and black bear. Adrenaline at its best. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6:          00:20:48       That's exactly it. Yeah. We're fucking bear. Runs up this tree. Try to find out where it is, where the bear runs up. It's fucking ridiculous because the guys in the stand and it just decides. It makes us mad. Sprint up the tree right next to him. Here it is. See the guys looking down. It's like there's the bear right there. So this fucking bear just goes for this. Out of nowhere. Like, watch this, watch this. The bear passed him. Watch this. They get a film in the bear. What is he laughing about? Well, he's got a fucking gun. You know? I mean, I think he's probably laughing because he's terrified to. Yeah, I think that's. I think he's scared shitless and they'll watch the bears right beside him. He gets trying to get the camera on it. It's just chilling there in the tree. Look how fucking high that thing got in like a second was like one second,

Speaker 4:          00:21:52       but you know their claws. You ever see a guy climate telephone pole at those sites? That's what that. They have those built in like Wolverine. They just go and write up the trend.

Speaker 6:          00:22:00       Let's the thing go down. Then he shoots it with an arrow. Check this out, watch Dick. It's keeping played. We played was the thing runs down the things out there. It's like, all right, I'm not going to kill you. I'll let you go about your way. It seems like you just sitting in a tree. And so the guy was like, yeah, look what I got here. Ooh, it's a compound bow. Hm. So as that bear like, just got done checking them out from lunch height. I mean it was like mouth to face. It was right there. He waits for the bear. Go to go back to the barrel. By the way, the bed, the barrel is filled with food. They bait these bands. That's how they. That's how they hunt. Bear a lot of bear. These dogs and other ways they treat them. There's a bunch of different looks. He's going to fucking put one right record.

Speaker 4:          00:22:52       They're delicious.

Speaker 4:          00:22:54       Perfect. Do you think there's no native American that would have done that? First of all, they wouldn't have been dumb enough to let it happen. They would have had some great code about. Used to have some ceremony when they killed a bear because a bear was so much like a human, like it's mannerisms and that type of thing. Really. I overheard it in a bar. There you go. Could be true. Could be true. Could not be true that we were on a podcast yesterday. We talked about what you want to get down from the tree, so you got to shoot. I guess that's what it is because what if it comes back this time and these on the bottom? Yeah. It just runs out of them. You know what? Strike that smart move. Smart move and he's gonna. He was there for that in the first place. I mean, that's the reason why the bear. Was there a reason why he was there? Spare of the bear did bear spirit. I'm. I'm really putting literally putting human traits on disparate stupid. I think the die in the woods to dumb the bears is too dumb to figure out shit, dude. He's a good guy.

Speaker 2:          00:23:46       We came up, he could've shot him. He didn't get a shuttle down and he goes over to his caddy and some of the fucking Arrow. An Arrow from 20 yards. Can you imagine somebody shot him with an Arrow? Can imagine what it would have been if he got the right Sheree, if he did have the right to imagine will come up and just grab you fucked up. Close animals come to victory sometimes and there's just the one little thing. They just

Speaker 1:          00:24:09       the dot that chromosome, they missing that dumb. That's a. that's like the fastest I've ever seen a bear climate tree. I didn't know they could get up a tree that fell.

Speaker 2:          00:24:17       Oh, you do. Your best bet is you have to get up so high that they're nervous that I guess that the tree is going to break, but then you're up there. Well, it depends on what bear to grizzlies don't climb trees. Never been bear hunting. I don't even know where. What are you? What are the words come from? Sometimes like, what am I saying? Shut up. Got To do is I've watched this on discovery from an l shaped couch. Let me tell you what to do now. A black bear, black bear. This is what you got to start breaking it down.

Speaker 1:          00:24:48       Bears are more likely to climb trees. They climb trees all the time. Grizzlies apparently don't climb trees, so if you

Speaker 2:          00:24:58       never. My plane crashed. If I've ever used that information, but you never know the plane crash. You gotta do what you gotTa do. Bill due to plaintiff starts going down. The first thing I'm doing is taking the seatbelt off. Really don't want to survive this covered in jet fuel. Coming out with my slacks melted to my legs. I get start knocking on the fat. Fuck next to me. Just kill me ahead. I had a great one. I had a great life. Yeah. Why not, right? Yeah. Why not sober?

Speaker 1:          00:25:24       So you were talking about the. We were talking about the grid, Jimmy, the Greek thing about Jimmy, the Greek for folks who don't know Jimmy, the Greek was a famous football.

Speaker 2:          00:25:35       The commentator would do the odds, right? Take the bears laying three. It was the seventies where you could, you allowed to talk about betting gambling? Yeah. For the NFL was like, wait a minute man, what are we doing it when men were men

Speaker 1:          00:25:47       and uh, he had the gall to insinuate that there might've been some benefit to these African American people breeding in slaves and that

Speaker 2:          00:25:57       he was doing what I just did with bears and he was having a drink in a restaurant and somebody filmed it. It's like one of the original, like, you know what it was? Yeah, he was, he's like in a restaurant. I thought it was an interview. Now he's, I believe he's in like, I don't fucking remember. He was like in an interview and he's like eating potato skins and they're just like, what happened to all the white running back? So he's like, here's the theory, you know, you're in a bar, somebody asked a question, you're gonna answer it. They wanted to get rid of him anyway. I'm not saying what he said is 100 percent true, but it's like they wanted to get rid of him. They wanted to get rid of that guy because that was like back then like you, you make that video. Well I guess they could maybe show them a local newscast, but there was so many videos. There was a girl back then called Jane Kennedy, gorgeous woman and some sex tape came out about her and one of the first ones and it just went around

Speaker 6:          00:26:44       the industry and she lost her job. Like if there was no youtube to upload it to and they were all just like, this is absolutely. And then fast forward, you know, 35, 40 years later, it's like a career move. No one ever saw that and liquid Kim Kardashian move mean like the, the, those girls was when they were all in or it's just not one accident. Several, several camera goals. But she's like that brilliant to be like, this is how well wait a minute. Paris Hilton already done it. Paris Hilton got famous that way. So that's how she got them. She had a famous boyfriend, she was dating this guy, Ray j, but it's usually the famous guy gets all the press unless you banged somebody else famous. Well he got, he got a lot of press from that. It's just he couldn't maintain it. He just, for whatever reason, I mean I think he's still like big in his and b community or whatever kind of music he plays.

Speaker 6:          00:27:29       But uh, you know, for whatever reason, I mean, it's not like he's an unknown. He's a, he's still a pretty known guy, but she became, whether he's known or unknown, it's usually like the unknown person who's getting banged. It's, you know, it's like Joe blow, fuck Sahar right. You know, like you're just, you know. But yeah, or whatever. But I guess she was so good looking people wanting to know who she was. Like the dvr girl. All of a sudden everyone's like, who's that girl in the commercial exotic looking one and then you look it up. Yeah, I definitely think that. But I also think, no, I think that she was just fucking rabid opportunist and it was in the same time that Paris Hilton really got more famous because of her sex tape. And then remember when girls would just showing their pussies like they would climb out of cars and not know that the Paparazzi, he had a fucking camera and interim or snatch.

Speaker 6:          00:28:20       I mean, how many girls were. They had those download photos to the most ridiculous photos ever because it's so fucking obvious that you've, you've, you plan that the camera is below your pussy. You're getting out of a car and the camera's below your pussy looking up at it. Fuck yeah, 100 percent guaranteed. It's all like Paris Hilton. It was all these real dumb skanks no, no offense. But all these, uh, these really silly girls, you know, it's like those, those were the girls are fun girls. They're just, yeah, the knucklehead girls. And that was their move to show their pussy. And they were distinct advantage as a woman. Like if I got out with a kilt and you flashed your junk, like I think that that would hurt you, you'd probably go to jail. It's offensive. No whipping out your cock is way more offensive than showing of your pussy.

Speaker 6:          00:29:10       He can climb out of a car and show your pussy. No one to tell you they completely shaved is the creepiest thing I've ever seen in my life. It's like I don't want to be. You look like a woman up here and you look, you know, you don't like that. Now it's amazing that it's so popular that porn has made such a massive success. Like it's such a massive victory to pay around. The pussies kind of made a comeback. They'll never go back to like full on, like, you know, energy crisis, pussy hair, Jimmy Carter Ford. It's over. Yeah. They will go back to that. But, you know, like, keep it. Especially because of the asshole hair. No one's no one's into that.

Speaker 2:          00:29:51       I heard somebody told me the other day that crabs is going in, instinct are extinct because uh, no one has a pubic hair anymore. That it's actually. Oh yeah, it's like they pour salt in the, in the, in the fields. Yeah,

Speaker 6:          00:30:02       I mowed them down. Um, so the reason why I brought up the Jimmy [inaudible] thing is, this is one thing I wanted to talk to you about that I got in trouble with for saying that I didn't think that a transsexual man should be able to fight women. There's a, a man bullshit. Yeah. You got a sex change and then didn't tell anybody. Did he get it? Still got the band shell does that looks just like a man. Okay, got it. Got a sex change sort of fighting women and beat the fuck out of two chicks brutally before anybody figured out that he used to go to jail for that. That's what I say.

Speaker 2:          00:30:41       Do you ever see South Park? They go and they talk about something called the heat now call it is. She goes, it's not a sheet. It's a mutilated man. I hate talking about this because whatever the hell you want to do is what you want to do. But like I draw the line where you know, you got dude's shoulders and manhandled and you're going to go up there against Christina. I mean, that's, that's not fair. There's a long time ago they had that in tennis and this, this guy was. He was killing it. Renee Richards.

Speaker 6:          00:31:05       Yeah. Is that what I just terrible as a man. Didn't do well at all. Started playing as a woman, got a secretary as operation. It was just dominating. Just dominate and kicking ass in a way. Never kicked ass before. Yeah, let's not. It's not, it's not fair. Well, there's a lot of things, but make it unfair. It's not just the frame, it's also spatial awareness. There's a difference in the genetics is there's also different in reaction time of significant difference. Ten percent difference between men and women. Men have a 10 percent faster reaction time. It's, that's pretty much the bumping each other in the head. Being the first ones out there with a spear. Our bodies are just designed for different shit. When we were hunter gatherers, we were hunters. You know, let's just do this wrong with getting a sex change operation. Whatever God bless you, but like to go in the ring with women and beat the shit out of a woman like that know, especially for fighting is one thing, if you know, and this is where I'm getting the stress, this is where I'm getting a stress from getting it from, from feminists and I'm getting it from people that support a transsexuals because they want a transgender woman to be considered a 100 percent woman and they're like a trans.

Speaker 6:          00:32:17       This is the argument I've been getting all online. You know, a trans woman is a woman asshole. A Trans woman is a real woman. Your bigotry and transphobia. I'm transphobic apparently because I don't want men to get their dick chopped off and beat the shit out of women. I mean, you know, I am 100 percent supportive of anybody like a hot dog. And then they make a giant lay. Sure. I'm looking at it right now. They make like a, they don't,

Speaker 4:          00:32:40       they, they, uh, I don't know what they do. They call it a peanut on version, actually pnl in version. And then they got to like a, I don't know how they scoop out your tank, just hardcore. This has got to be some stuff in there that you're just. It's like the crawl space under your house. You don't know what's on. Listen, if someone wants to do that, God bless you. If you want to be referred to as a woman, I, I'm, I'm fine with that. But like don't get in a ring and start. You know, concussion sounded pounding. Some woman would, you know, come on. Ain't take estrogen pills. They shot,

Speaker 1:          00:33:19       they take shots, but in their muscle mass does decrease and their, their, their bone density does decrease. It does. But there's just some massive mechanical advantage of the male frame. When it comes to something like combat sports, the shape of the hips are different because no matter all the take them man can take all the estrogen in the world. He doesn't really develop a woman's hips is a completely different structure. And when it comes to kicking that structure makes a big difference. What's that?

Speaker 4:          00:33:47       Cheesecake sits on the couch. It's a saddlebag work like Mariah Carey built. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. It doesn't look like that Bill Clinton had bitch hips. Your body looks like he had big, big mother and hips. I bet he had a lot of knee problems and he was jogging. Oh, I'm sure he went out the acs fat as fuck, right? Yeah. What about this? What about the guy that has down syndrome that wants to fight? Yeah.

Speaker 1:          00:34:16       Well, blimey. Well we'll get to that too, for sure. But I thought that. Oh, the craziest thing about this is that these women in this desire to be super, super progressive and super supportive of gay rights and transgender rights, that they're willing to allow other women to get the fuck beat out of them because it's almost all women that got upset with me. There's a few guys like gay guys. I got upset with me, but uh, quite a few women wanted that, that transgender woman to be recognized as a woman. And I said like, I'm 100 percent supportive of someone doing that and I'm willing to call them a girl in a sheet and whatever your name is, I'm cool with that. You know, I don't mind, but the fighting men, the girls, it's amazing how much resistance I've gotten from this. It's fucking. It's really, truly amazing.

Speaker 4:          00:35:05       I mean, everybody's entitled to an opinion. Opinion isn't going to stop them from doing anything like people get, you know what it is, it's just that you're kind of known, you know what I mean in that area. So it's a good thing for them to hitch their wagon to where like I've noticed that a lot of people, they don't really get offended by anything that I say. It's because there's nothing to attach your wagon to. I do try to stand up and like strip malls, so I jumped on Conan that. That's usually the punishment end up, right? Yeah. What are you going to. What I mean and I'm not a doctor either. Do like if somebody came up like I actually,

Speaker 2:          00:35:38       this is what annoys me about groups like that as I feel that when somebody says something and you're offended, it's very easy for them to get in contact with us. Fairly easy with twitter, facebook, all of that to to hear that makes sure that they're hearing it right to clarify what you say and they don't. They want, they want to do is create this, this, this hysteria, and then they get you on tv and you're on the split screen and that split screen argument is not about finding some truth. It's just about winning. And then they go out there and as you start to make a good point, they'll go see that. See that? That's just the ignorance. That night they shout you down and it's some of the worst tv you'll ever fucking

Speaker 6:          00:36:20       debate things where you have three minutes to make your point. They're the dumbest ways to address a complex issue than anybody could ever get her.

Speaker 2:          00:36:29       That's get came from PTI. Think on ESPN. It was a sports show. These two good friends used to yell at each other, not yell, but they will make great points and it would get heated sometimes and that do and they blew up because you know, it was. You saw the friendship there and then they were just like, oh, they like

Speaker 6:          00:36:44       people yell. They just boil it down and next thing you know, everybody's just screaming. They always do that. They have like some guy whose kids got shot a school and then next to another guy who's like a fucking one of those militia guys who thinks we should all have assault rifles and then Pierce Morgan pretends it's a debate. They put two pit bulls and it's what they do and then they just sit back and think, oh, that's going to kill eight minutes. Well we talked about it on the podcast, you know, that's when the discussion happened that got to the air. So they had plenty of opportunity to see what I meant and what I didn't mean, but they choose to only lock onto like some of the things that I said like it's a guy with no dick and you know, and that's where they got really mad at you because that's hurtful. That's transphobic. But technically it's accurate. And I understand what you're saying. Yeah,

Speaker 2:          00:37:31       it is. It is a guy who had his penis removed.

Speaker 6:          00:37:33       Yes it is. I mean, chromosome will try to look like he had female parts, but here's something weird I found out when you do chromosome tests, what are blowing up right now? A lot of women have the y chromosome actual, just women, real women. I don't even know. Not hermaphrodites. You don't know what it means. Women are xx mentor x, y. The y chromosome is the differentiator between men and women. Everyone's born a woman. Still respect the fact that you told me that like I'm going to retain that. I'm not going to come in the next time when you bring that up. But while this was going on, I was thinking of you. I was thinking man, is bill burr was in this situation because you know, you're just a. It seems like, you know, like with the crips Chris Brown thing, you're one of the few guys out there that will go there with a bit like that. Why? I want to know what the fuck she said before he hit her. You know, there's a lot of people out there. No. My

Speaker 2:          00:38:26       thing about that was like, uh, I might, I might question it was, and it was an honest question was do you have any personal for your

Speaker 4:          00:38:35       own safety as a woman to not deliberately sit there and push somebody's button and get in their grill, you know, and get physical and hit and do all that. It gets to a point of like, my thing was like respect the fact that a guy's going to hit you, don't take advantage of it. And it's like, um, you know, like I, I don't know if that's right or wrong, but it was a question that these groups, you can't talk to them. You just want to ask them like, do you feel like, you know, like if you just go, well that's why your mom's Dad, man, I hope you get fucking cancer too. And, and, and just say this horrible, hurtful shit. Start pushing somebody. And it's like, at what point are you guilty of, of provoking the next level?

Speaker 6:          00:39:19       If a woman got in your face and you were like, seriously worried that she was going to hit you and you really felt like you had to defend yourself, would you hit her?

Speaker 4:          00:39:27       No. Well, I would. I would have. She would have to have a fucking machete really. And like, no, I. It would have to be like, I will be doing that stuff just running around the walls. I get

Speaker 6:          00:39:38       cardio. Right where you usually have better cardio the man when it comes to the jargon, when it comes to the ones who jog a lot of, especially the ones that hit you that more likely to have pent up frustrations and getting out with the exercise?

Speaker 4:          00:39:53       No, I dated a girl one time. She, she had some issues about when she would get mad she would get physical and I had to talk to her about it. That saying that you've got to understand that the natural reaction to this is this. You can't just walk around hitting feet. That's so disrespectful and it's childish and it need to grow up. Like I had to have that conversation because, you know, it's, it's, it's in that split second when somebody blast you in the face, either man or a woman, it's like you go into self defense, what you eat, you might even just out of reaction go like that. And you know, a lot of times guys are so much bigger than women. That's a forum. Then their nose is bleeding and then you're down the fucking police station. Yeah. And then you have like a problem.

Speaker 4:          00:40:34       So, um, my thing and all those, what is, you never learn anything you never learned. Like was this guy just a bad guy and this was inevitable and what happened in his childhood? Can we deconstruct this guy psychologically? Can we go back and figure out what led to this event? Or was it like he has no track record of this and then all of a sudden it just the right set of circumstances and it's like, is this guy a bad guy? Is this guy I'm unlucky guy? Like, like, what happened? But I got it. I got to tell you. It's like, you know, the first punch you flipped out. I mean once you fucking, you know, I think we set up the jab throwing combinations. It's like at some point you got to be in your head like I am hitting a woman, but the conversation fascinates me and it's such a touchy subject.

Speaker 4:          00:41:19       What's annoying is that you can't like the amount of people who are listening right now, but that scowl on her face, like you can't even, you can't unless you just go, you are 100 percent right. There was no reason to ever do it and you don't have to respect another being on any level and you can throw stuff at them and you can say stuff. You can, you know, push their buttons and do everything you basically can to get it to that point and, and then. But, but you're not, you're not guilty. You don't have any responsibility. There's nothing that you could do in the future to be like, well, hey, next time you know, it's relationships over the over, but the next time I'm with a guy, you know, maybe I only ramp them up a couple of floors as opposed to just like, dude, you know that they know what to say. They know what to say, and I do. You know what I mean? Fucking walls. You know how many lamps you just like, oh, like they just know they do. They.

Speaker 1:          00:42:14       Well, this is what you're going to do it. I can give you the best advice ever. Cut them off, cut anybody like that off. I've had people like that in my life to try to get in fights with me. I've had people like that. The one arguing all the time, you cut them off. Even if they're hot, even if they give good head, even if they got a great ass, you got, you got to get rid of them.

Speaker 4:          00:42:32       Charlie Murphy gave me the best advice was just yo, he goes, woman ever comes at you. He goes, you immediately lock yourself in the bathroom. He goes and then call the police. That's good advice. Yeah. Just lock yourself in. He goes, you don't have any strike marks because they can, you know, he was talking about it, you know, somebody was gonna, you know. I don't know. That's a good move.

Speaker 1:          00:42:53       Okay. On the swim from. No. Well, it's controversy and you know, hitting women. I've never hit a woman ever, but obviously, but I could never. I could never do it, but I would. If a woman was attacking me, I would knock on conscious. There's no doubt about it. I mean if a woman was coming in with a knife trying to hit me with a ball one or window haymaker right to the chops, going to take them out, take them out, stop playing games. If you're going to hit a check, you've got to blast him right in the face. Most chicks are just not prepared for that. I'm not prepared for that either. Nobody is, but I would only do it to save my life or you know, my safety. But you know, you never know man. I've seen fucking checks that can punch really hard. My friend Tommy, my friend Tommy junior has a girlfriend that works out all the time and we took her to one of those fucking things at the, you know, one of those, a video game. Things were the bag pops out and you hit it and praying and you see what she fucking hits hard. I was looking at like, if this girl's soccer punch me, I'm going to wake up with a flashlight in my face. No

Speaker 4:          00:44:00       you don't. You know what? I don't, I don't like, uh, I don't like watching when the women fight each other and fighting. Really. I don't, I don't like it. You know what they should do? They should have them fight like convicted rapist and the rapist don't know that the fight is going to happen. So then I got to shape eating prison food. Just come out there and then you have to be rapist in the right weight class and they just get in. Yeah. Oh yeah. You can work all the details and they just beat the living shit out of still a man. But to sit there, well just sit there and uh, I like to sit there and watch to women like they don't want to hate a. When they punch each other and they hit that Teddy's

Speaker 5:          00:44:37       sacred.

Speaker 1:          00:44:39       If I run a rosy and Liz Carmouche, Ronda Rousey got kicked in the tits, shout out just before she, uh,

Speaker 4:          00:44:47       got back to it. I'll tell you, you know, and you know, they have a name for that within their circle. What that feeling is kick to kick to the tits. They got to have some sort of slang for it where um, you know, it'd be funny, but I would never want to take the ass kicking was, is how bad those girls could beat me. Somebody. Somebody like, like three weight classes below me. Well Rhonda Rousey would be a good one on me because she's a grappler. She'd just getting you in an arm bar. Training is for brothers, headlock, dual head

Speaker 5:          00:45:15       throwing. Keep it from here to here. So Dad doesn't get mad it from Chin, Chin to belt. Yet if somebody starts winning, always punched in the hair the. So the lump lump wouldn't show up, you know, it's funny, we were learning basically how to beat a woman, so I didn't really look at it, but we would do it to each other.

Speaker 4:          00:45:35       But um, I think that. But I really think that like it would, it'd be great if somehow you could teach women that because of all these dirt bags and these guys who do hit women, if you were to teach them that so they could have that, uh, to be able to defend themselves. Yeah.

Speaker 1:          00:45:53       Almost always the best option because you have your legs, you know, a woman's legs, you know, you think about it can carry you and you know, you weigh 130 pounds or whatever your weight. They're fucking carrying you around all day. You can't do that with your arms. So you could lock them man up in a triangle or an arm bar and fuck them up. You know, he really, a woman like Rhonda Rousey could break my arm easily. She got me in an arm bar for sure. She could break my arm. You know, there's,

Speaker 4:          00:46:16       I don't know why they send those kinds of people to jail, like rapist to study should just shoot him in the street like a rabid dog. That's how I feel. I was. You do any of that that sent you over?

Speaker 1:          00:46:28       We had a guy, we. There was a video of some guy who's a shooter, a school shooter. He was taunting the family of the victims and I was like, the only reason he's doing this because he's in a court and because he knows there's laws and things are protecting them. They should beat that guy to death

Speaker 4:          00:46:41       in the family that's got to sit there and take that. Yeah. Who played by the rules. It's just like you'll never forget him taunting you and just like the fact that he's like still alive. There's certain rather holidays, he gets a decent meal. Yeah. There's aspects of it

Speaker 1:          00:46:57       law that, uh, that there's aspects to all human behavior where we have like workplace rules, like you have to behave here, you have courtroom rules where you have to behave like this and that allows people to get away with some fucking ridiculous shit like that.

Speaker 4:          00:47:17       No, you're supposed to act civilized to someone who isn't civilized and I get that to a certain point, but it's just like you're not going to cure what somebody is attracted to it. So if someone is attracted to kids, it's like they have to be removed. Yeah. There's no way you can

Speaker 6:          00:47:30       cure that. Ruins a kid's life. Yeah. The recidivism rate years like generations and generations. Gee, this is really heavy topics, but it's weird how like the, that, that thing is like, what, what's missing is like common sense, you know, and the same can be applied to stand up comedy. Like when Tracy Morgan got in trouble for joking around about a son saying that he was established son who's gay. Right. We all knew it was a joke. We know. It was just saying he's being Tracy Morgan. He's been fucking completely out of bounds. Continues in that direction. That's his. His whole act is being outrageous like that, but you know, like common sense goes, oh, is he a comedian? Is he telling a joke though? That's just, that's all it is. You know, it might not be good. You might say, well, I think he sucks. That's fine. You're allowed. I mean there's a broad spectrum of what people like and don't like joking about certain subjects as if it bombs.

Speaker 6:          00:48:22       Yeah. Then, but if it kills every this, that there's always that legendary line to the one comic said, you're fucking trying to get out to your friends at a diner because you're still laughing because it was so ridiculous. I always use Brian Holzman's. Susan Smith, one. Susan Smith was a chicken tender. Kid's this motherfucker got on the comedy store stage a couple of days later and he goes, I heard those kids were bad kids and heard. They sat that close to the TV. They didn't pull it away. Their blocks. They always spilt the milk. Those kids will not be missed. And we were just going, oh no. Too soon, and he's, he's just so great. I don't want to name the comic because I never

Speaker 7:          00:49:02       talk to them to confirm it, but there was a plane crash and I don't know, like North Dakota or South Dakota or something like that someplace and he goes on stage like within the year and it's making fun of it and some guy in the crowd just stands up and he's like, my wife was on that flight without missing a beat. He goes, great, let's dig her up and fucker.

Speaker 5:          00:49:21       I was just like, wow. And if you're not a stand up comic, you don't understand that because that's like literally he had to go to that level to win because if he went, because if you went like, oh my God, I'm sorry. She always over. Hey, what's up with popsicles? You got it. Gets too late, man. Turn your key on your key sir. We went nuclear. Yeah, that's what it is. They both had a turn to keep the same time and activate the button. Yeah.

Speaker 6:          00:49:56       Ooh, fuck. Holy Shit. Well, you know what? Fuck that guy for standing up and saying that he's at a comedy show, you know, I understand that you might think it's offensive comments within the year if you're going in, you know, I mean, Jesus Christ, I wouldn't go in, but I support your right to go in. Just like Johnny Cash didn't really shoot a man in Reno just to watch them die. It's fucking entertainment. He's, he's, he's painting a story and a guy like Brian Holtzman isn't really happy that kill white for the guy who actually

Speaker 4:          00:50:28       got shot and Reno was not in the crowd anyway.

Speaker 1:          00:50:30       Yeah, exactly. Well that's true. Yeah. It wasn't a real event that he was shitting on, but that's part, that's a style of comedy that's like, I love that style. Like auto and George will do that. Dice clay was due that date. They're over the top. Absolutely ridiculous. And there's something really funny about that. I love it

Speaker 4:          00:50:48       and I'm not backing down and I'm going to say the most ridiculous outrageous and it is. It's a form of comedy. You might not like it, but to sit there and then act like this guy really wants to go do it, and it really meant it sounds ridiculous, but if you take that quote and then all of a sudden you put it on a new show. I mean, just the, the context of it. It's insane. There's just like, we're just taking this one line from an hour load performance at a comedy club in a different state. I, you know, it's so funny that when there was that sort of rash of those videos, the amount of times that people told the joke and it killed in the club and then they would be like controversy at the laugh factory and then they cut to somebody and they tell the joke and you hear it like it's like 99 percent of people laughed and one person gets offended. It's like there's no contract.

Speaker 1:          00:51:36       Exactly. It's a good joke. It's a good joke. Yeah. And, but it's an opportunity for all these white knights to jump in and pretend they're offended and pretend that you know, to try to get feminine Brownie points and step in and try to, you know, mark some notches on their side.

Speaker 4:          00:51:50       Just show up if they ever asked you to go on TV for what? If they were just like Joe Rogan, this stuff you said are most likely no take crawlspace comment, why don't you go on the Internet and on TV and defend?

Speaker 1:          00:52:03       Because they would, they would have control over it. But I would have him come on the podcast if I felt like someone had a rational point and they were like, worth debating, you know, maybe in especially if I was exploring whether or not it was wrong. I mean I thought I might do it

Speaker 4:          00:52:15       and I would go on there and the whole time that person was yelling, I would just be hyping my dates.

Speaker 1:          00:52:21       Rutherford, New Jersey. We're Jacksonville, haven't had a piece of paper just pointing. It would be the greatest thing. Like I completely don't pick up a calendar, a large calendar, roll it out. This is the bill burke calender. Look around, see if I'm going to be coming to your town billboard.com. That is a good way to handle it because it is a fucking joke. I mean you're, you're operating within these five minute clips. You're going back and forth. A good solid point takes a few minutes to really establish and to give you a point of view on a controversial topic, you really have to cover a lot of different areas and that's not what they're trying to do. They just want you to yell at you, trying to get you to yell at each other. That would be the move. The move would be to do that. Just start yelling at billboard, going

Speaker 4:          00:53:02       your dates. You just completely ignore them. I'm getting good at that. I, I had a, had an incident, uh, on, uh, on the airplane going to Indianapolis with this, this guy like I don't, I just, I just started like interrogating me. He thought I was some sort of flight risk about what? I don't know. He was on something. I don't know what happened. Like I was sitting down. So He's just a passenger? Yeah, and I was, I didn't know if he was a sky marshal, but he ordered a doers in the beginning and he just slammed it. So I'm like, this guy's not a scar. My Sky Marshal, this guy's boozing it up. So he just goes to me. He's like a, which is sitting there and he just says I. He goes, hey, you are you afraid to fly? And I'm like, what? He goes, are you afraid of flag?

Speaker 4:          00:53:49       Oh No, I'm not afraid to fly. And he goes, you sure? Because you know it's okay, you can tell me if you are immediately. I'm looking at this guy, what do you mean? It's like, okay, what is this like interrogation, one-on-one, build a relationship with your subject thing that you're doing here. And I was just like, no. He goes, dude. He goes, ah, because you know, you just kind of fidgeting and looking around. I was like, Nah man. I go, I'm cool. He's like, oh, you'd like to fly. I'm like, when I'm up here, because you don't have bumped myself up and go on back there. I don't like it. And then he goes, he's all right, you know, but you know, you, you can tell me if you're afraid to fly. So now I'm just like, dude, I'm not afraid to fly. So. And he's staring at me and I put my hand like this to show that it wasn't shaken. I go, I'm not nervous. All right, thanks for asking. And then he goes, well, anybody can do that. And I'm just like, oh Jesus Christ. And I just said, look dude, I'm drinking water. You're drinking doors. Okay. And he goes, that wasn't doers right now I'm just like, I fucked this guy. So I'm sitting there. You saw a mortar it. Huh? You saw him order doers. I was senator. He said, let me get a doors. And she brought it over neat. And he threw it back like he was drinking baby. Okay.

Speaker 4:          00:54:57       What's impressive is this guy's old school starting off. Good. Right? So then there's like five minutes of silence, more passengers getting on, and then the guy goes, hey, I'm sorry man, I just, I just got off on the wrong foot there. Right? He goes, my name's so and so, what's your name? Asked me like, what my name is, and I was thinking of saying something like, Steve, you know, and uh, or some I wish I wish I said some silly name, you know, but I didn't think of one. I just went, it's bill and he goes out. He goes out, why? Why are you going to Indianapolis Bill? He started doing the shit and I just looked at the guy and I go. I'm like, yeah, I don't have to answer your questions. Whoa, I don't. He has no fucking authority. You're not a sky marshal.

Speaker 4:          00:55:37       You're drinking booze, you're an asshole. What are you on? Are you afraid to fly? Go Fuck Yourself. Leave me alone. Right? So then he goes like, all right, now, now I am concerned. I am concerned. Okay, why are you going to Indianapolis? Bill Wright says this, right? And they closed the doors and that they're doing all this stuff and I just, I just start, like I joked to my podcast, I just started smoking like Ryan Gosling. He does that little Mona Lisa smile. We just kind of smile and I'm just sitting there shaking my head at the guy, right, and I'm literally taking out my eye pillow. I wear like a mask just to say I'm so not worried about anything that you're going to fucking do all this passive aggressive shit this to Piss this guy off and he's got why are you going to Indianapolis Belt? And I just kept. I didn't say anything to him. I just kept laughing, just kept shaking my head and um, was taxiing down and he goes through because he goes, I fucking do for a fucking living

Speaker 2:          00:56:24       such fff and all this stuff. The lady in front turns around, starts looking at what? Taxing down the thing because you don't answer my questions right now. I'm going to hit that call button. I will hit that call button. I will stop this plane and you will be fucking arrested like saying all this stuff. And I'm just looking at him smiling, shaking my head. Like go ahead and push it down. Let's see what the fuck. This goes. Hilarious. What happens. Does the pilot come out? There's a police car pull up to the play, no fucking clue. So he goes to push it and you can't find it. It was kind of a weird place and he finally finds it and he hit the button. I'm like, Oh fuck. He hit the button. This is hilarious, and I'm just sitting there. He goes, now you wait, you fucking wait, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2:          00:56:58       And I'm just sitting there smiling, shaking my head at him. I'm like, dude, I don't care. I don't get. You're not, you have no fucking authority. You're not gonna hit me. You're not going to do anything. You're on fucking something, but I'm not getting that dude. If that guy had a vibe, like he was gonna Punch me, I would have been up in the, in the ass, but he didn't. He just had that. It was like a kid throwing a temper tantrum. He wanted like this. He almost seemed like he wanted to be an army ranger, but he didn't quite make it or what did he look like? He was like, uh, why reducing good shape, you know? Why are we doing like that dude who shot trayvon Martin kid who wasn't really a cop, but he wanted to be a cop, so he took it to the next level when I could have squashed the whole thing and just been like, look, I'm a comedian.

Speaker 2:          00:57:38       I'm going to Indianapolis. If you'd like to come out to the show, I could've done that, but I'm a dick and I hate. I hate fucking. I hate authority and this guy doesn't have any, so fuck him. So I just laughed. Now he pushes the button, so then the stewardess comes over and she goes, yeah, what's the problem? He goes to sky is a flight risk. I am not comfortable flying with him, but Baba Baba Baba and all this shit. I was surprised how few people were looking around. People just kind of sitting there and sky was wigging out and I'm just sitting there and then the stewardess was like, all right, did anybody else see any behavior? And The lady was sitting in front of him, pointed at him and said, yeah, he was breeding any point and she pointed me. He was berating him and I'm just like, perfect.

Speaker 2:          00:58:15       So I'm literally putting my fucking ims down as I'm talking to him going, hey, I'm just a guy trying to go to Indianapolis. This guy's drinking doers and he's dropping the f bomb and I'm thinking, fuck. I said, bomb, you know, it's kind of a problem with it wasn't a problem and this guy is just doing this thing where he wants to win. He wants some sort of recognition of what? Whatever the fuck he thinks he is still moving. No, at this point, if fucking stopped it pulled over. I forgot that part. It pulled over and stopped. Dude, it's a fucking red eye. Okay. It stops. Another stewardess comes over and he goes, what's the problem? And he goes through the whole fucking thing and it's like basically the captain at this point is going, do I really have to come back there? It's like really the red eye fucking flight.

Speaker 2:          00:58:58       My last flight of the day I used to fly combat missions, you know, fucking boring. This is to fly this fucking bus. I don't want to deal with this bullshit. So I really have to come back there. And then they finally asked him, I said, hey, are you going to be comfortable flying with this guy? And He, uh, I think they acknowledged that he had some sort of something there because, you know what? No, it's okay. It's gonna be okay for whatever. Right? So they had some sort of something like some sort of that like they checked with him, like, you're going to stand down sir, like whatever fucking spy he thought he was. So now we get back in line and what taxing. And as we're going down the runway, I got my eye on and I'm just sitting there and he's yapping in my ear, you could think this is fucking over. You think this is fucking over at this point. I'm laughing, I'm holding my stomach in a fucking laughing and it's driving them nuts and I'm having a fucking ball with this guy. And he goes, uh, you know, my dad's, the CEO is some fucking company in Indianapolis. And he starts saying that he's going to have any fucking arrested when I land. And uh, and he starts describing the view I was going to see from the jail, like some law and order episode.

Speaker 5:          00:59:59       Did you get a picture of this kind of take a photo now? How could you not have been filming video this whole entire time? That would be amazing. You can, can't you just be in the moment and not turn into a film crew? Just because that was the universe gave me this fucking moment. I'm telling this story. I don't, I don't know.

Speaker 2:          01:00:18       So he fucking uh, so then I got my thanks. And then he finally, he's, yeah, he's gone. Yeah. He, Oh, you're going to love the view from the jail. You can see Lucas oil field and blah blah, blah blah. And all this shit. And then he finally oil. That's where the colts play

Speaker 5:          01:00:32       this view. It was such, such hacky interrogation. Then he finally said a.

Speaker 2:          01:00:36       He goes, you know what? I'm glad I'm glad. You know what? I fucking hope you do something. I fucking hope you do something. We're up there and I'm fucking burst. It was sitting there with a blindfold on laughing at him. It was driving him fucking nuts. It was great. So then five minutes of silence, 10 minutes of silence goes by and I'm finally thinking that maybe this shit's over or is he just sitting there staring at the side of my head and then all of a sudden I just hear it right as I'm starting to nod off. I just here, why are you going to Indianapolis, Bill?

Speaker 5:          01:01:05       I just laugh.

Speaker 2:          01:01:09       So do my adrenaline was going. I was just like, wow, they're going to stop the plane. This is fucking intense, man. It's just crazy what's going to happen and I'm totally innocent so I got to kind of watch it happen. So then I couldn't sleep so I was sitting there with that stupid mask on for like a half an hour and then finally just like, fuck it, I gotta take it off and I got to deal with this guy and I take it off and I look over and he's just teach this passed out head hanging. This fucking special ops guy really passed out.

Speaker 5:          01:01:35       You should fucking way Liam with a huge haymaker right in the face. And then immediately pretend you're asleep. No, no, because someone would, someone would have seen that. So No, you know, what I did was I immediately started pounding waters because I didn't have to go the bathroom and I wanted to get up on the plane just to see if he was going to fucking wig out again. Make them so. So you've made yourself go to the bathroom, you would have water and you have to go to full of fucking bathroom, like you can't believe in. This fucking guy's passed out. He's now. I held it for the last hour. He didn't wake up,

Speaker 2:          01:02:09       wake up until we landed and then we pulled up to the terminal and I got out and I stood up and he wouldn't look at me and I'm thinking he probably slept it off and I was feeling fucking weird hopefully. And The lady in front of me got up and she just goes. She smiled and she said, hey. And I just said, ah, that was, that was an interesting one. And then he had the pillow like this Joe. He edit behind air in some weird position in, in some sort of like Alpha male way. He tried to get some sort of tough thing. The last word, he took the pillow up and he threw it down behind it between his legs and he like grunted. He went like, like he threw a pillow down. That was it. That was my trip to Indianapolis. Oh. And then I worked at a theater and Elmo was, there was in the big room.

Speaker 2:          01:02:50       Elmo and friends from sesame street before mom got busted and. No, no, no, no, no. This is just the other day. This is my past weekend. Will, you know the dude who played elmo did a bunch of gay shit with kids. Allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah. You can't say that, right? Yeah. Um, so what, this is a different elmo. No, no, no. This was, this was burt and the count. We're backstage. I had to walk by him and that just like chilling, like the counts just sitting there. I put this video up and they made me take it down because I had unauthorized video of them. But like I'm standing there and I'm filming and I'm like, Holy Shit, there's what's going on. Burton, I think burt's waving to me and he's really waving off like no pictures and just do it in the burke costume. Comes walking up and is trying to slam the door in my face. But the peg thing is there. It's a lot. I thought it was a cute video and it kind of went with this character. He's a Dick on the show. It totally made sense. But they made me. They made me take this thing down. Why would they make you take it down? I don't know if I'm legally allowed to show you. I can show you this, right? We can. You can show it in. Our lawyers were support you. How about hey go watch when he weighs.

Speaker 8:          01:04:08       No visitors going to slam the door on me.

Speaker 2:          01:04:14       Don't you got to see this big stupid head. I can't believe they took that down. I think it is. I get it is because what had happened and then. And then also like if, uh, you know, I guess if kids are still like three years old and somebody takes off the bird head or like the big bird costume, they just see it hanging in the corner, like it really fucks with them. So I get it. I took it down. They asked you to take it down. Yeah. The lady, the lady who runs the tour, she, she knew I got video and I think uh, I may find it on the podcast. Like they, she, she did a job, she's, she's on point. I had that thing up like 20 minutes and they were just like, yeah, take it down, take it down. And I was like, all right.

Speaker 2:          01:04:53       All right. I don't think you have to take it down. The way I look at the way I would legally argue it was legally had the right to be there. You left the door open. I did not walk into the backstage area. I filmed in. That was somebody dropped the ball by having that door open. So they were at the same theater that you were they. They were in the bigger. Elmo was playing the big room and it's the smaller room upstairs. What is an indy? Indianapolis. This is there. This is after that. Do that. Psycho. The cycle on the plane. This is this whole. This is this past weekend. This whole transition.

Speaker 6:          01:05:28       Past weekend. Yeah. What do you do? You were you doing it? Gypsum theater. Beautiful place. Never done it. I'm doing the Morat. You ever heard of that? No, I've never done standup in Indianapolis. Crate crate and a phenomenal time. I just did Nashville. You ever do xannies like a zillion times? Fucking love that.

Speaker 2:          01:05:47       Oh, I saw your tweet. Whether it's the Museum of pictures that you can get some comedians like, oh my God, that's a ridiculous. I took a picture of one of my buddy. I mean this thing had to be for my 84 and he had that. Oh boy, I'm gonna. Make it that. Look on his face. He know that that wide. I. I've never been fucked before. And I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna name names. I don't name names because then what's going to happen is people are going to go there because they got to take the picture. They're going to tweet it to the guy and I'm going to. But there's nothing wrong with that either. Joe. I'm a true friend of the guy. I don't do that. You can't even throw him right under the bus. Blowing rocks has really reminded me of land of the lost for you.

Speaker 6:          01:06:25       Those are a Himalayan rock salt. I knew that. I know you did. Of course she died. I just wanted to remind you, you put it in there and uh, that salt, it just like goes into your pores. The, uh, the headshot. You don't, you don't crave bacon anymore. No, it's done. It cured me of everything. No more masturbating in the middle of the night. It's awesome. The, um, the headshot wall in Nashville, one of the guys on the wall was a, well, there's a bunch of them that are dead now. It's weird. Like tennis Wolfsburg was a beast. Richard. Jenny paintings on the wall. He is one of my all time greats. Fire to pick like a 10, top 10 all time and he was on that Carlin road to where he was putting up like putting them out like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like an hour, another hour.

Speaker 6:          01:07:10       But unlike Carlin, he was upset. He didn't want to do that. He wanted to be like Jim Carrey, you know, he wanted to be a movie star and he wanted to be Seinfeld. He wanted to have his own show or something, something along those lines. And it just didn't click for him. Yeah, he would, uh, he would always be bummed out when he was on the road. I would always hear stories from people that worked in clubs with them and it was just unhappy. Didn't want to be on the road. Me and one other guy was brilliant. No, sorry, I was gonna say like you can get away with shit.

Speaker 2:          01:07:34       It's Kinda good to not have a TV show once you start selling tickets. And it's like, I played hockey yesterday at like three in the afternoon. Yeah. He never gonna get any fresher than that. And you're going to get a show, but it's not your show. It's this show. I compare it to like when your parents, when you were a kid and they gave you a bicycle, you know what I mean? It's like they gave the bicycle bicycle, but when you screw up, they take the book, you get grounded and they take the bike away. So it's not really yours. Even if it's your name on it, you know, you're not an adult. Yeah. Like you, you're going into like the matrix. So I would have like a real sort of a funny that I've had in this business that I have that information now and I don't know what to do with it because it's not like I'm going to start my own network. Like I don't know what, you don't have to do anything other than what you're doing. You're a great standup comedian.

Speaker 1:          01:08:16       That's the thing. Being a standup comic allows you to say whatever the fuck you want. Like you were saying, nobody gets on your case if you say something fucked up because they're not connecting you to a show. But I'd say, Oh, bill borough of Fox News said this, you know, it's just bill burke comedian advantages. Yeah.

Speaker 2:          01:08:32       To right where I am. So I'm Kinda like, you know, I don't know. It's,

Speaker 1:          01:08:37       do you get pressure from agents or something to do other things or is it something you.

Speaker 2:          01:08:41       I want a nice run and doing some movies and I did a couple of TV shows and it's great. But I like doing the movies because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Right? Like it's like, okay, we have you for three to six weeks or whatever. And it's like, okay, and you know, I'm just gonna do this, I'm going to hammer this out, I'm going to know all my lines. I'm going to, I'm going to be on time and be a professional. And once I get through this then I'm going to uh, you know, on the weekends, you know, I'll go out to like flappers in Burbank to stay sharp. And then once that's over a I go back out on the road and I get going again. But like the whole, the idea of being on a TV show and playing the same guy for potentially five years is overwhelming to me.

Speaker 2:          01:09:16       It's scary. Yeah. It's overwhelming. And I like, especially like those people who do like one camera shows like how hard they work. Like they, they're doing like, it's like a 12, 13 hour days if you know. Hey, how's it going? Oh, it's great. Cut back to one great cut. Alright. You know this time do it with hey, no. Hey, how's it going? And then cut. Okay. With turning it around, we got to do the master and all that. Like they, they work harder than I've ever worked in my career. Like standup is in real time. You go on at eight, do an hour and it's done in an hour. You shoot an hour of TV, one camera and it's like you're going to be like those people that I have such a tremendous respect for how hard people work on those things. And I don't think I have

Speaker 1:          01:10:05       ethical single camera shows what you're talking. A lot of folks don't know the terms of the business. So like law and order or most dramas, sitcoms with the is they'll fit little use many cameras in front of a live audience and that's, even though that's hard in the beginning, once they get rolling then it becomes pretty easy. Like when you did news radio, how soon before you guys were like, okay, we don't get to come in Monday. Did you ever get to that point? Yeah, we got to the point where sometimes we didn't come in Tuesday, they come in Monday or Tuesday. We do a whole show in three days because they would have a problem with like the script. So it would be wrong with the script. Like we would have script changes like the day of like many crazy script changes.

Speaker 2:          01:10:47       Those were the days man. Like if I, you know, I, I wish that those things would come back because that will really. That's the dream to comes acting gig.

Speaker 1:          01:10:57       Yeah. Oh it's the greatest acting Gig of all time. But quite honestly when I did it, I really appreciated Standup, you know? And when it was over I was happy it was over. I mean, it wasn't happy because I love those people that I worked with and it was a great show, but I wanted to do stand up, you know, and the same thing, fear factor,

Speaker 6:          01:11:13       fear factor, much clear. Like news radio was way more fun and satisfying to do, but same thing, but it's over. I'm like, stand up. It's just the best. And then now stand up at podcasting together.

Speaker 2:          01:11:27       Are you going to be happier than that? I would use even the UFC, which is a great

Speaker 6:          01:11:32       gig. I love the UFC, but if anything ever came up with the UFC, said, hey, you have to choose between one or the other. I'd be like, you guys take care, you know, and kind of. I had a good time.

Speaker 2:          01:11:41       Yeah. I had to bet on yourself. Yeah, that's the game. Well, not only that, they pull it out like a paranoid guy, but they fucking pull you in. Do you know what it's like? I met when I would, when I first came to New York City or are they would be guys who just worked one club. It's like, why would you ever do that? Now all you need is one falling out and you have no spots. It's got a, you got to be playing the field so they can't, they can't get you under their thumb.

Speaker 6:          01:12:05       Yes. That's very important. Well, that's what I would the comedy store when I was living in la or when I was working on all the time. I did the comedy store every week and I didn't do anything else. I very rarely did anything else. Like sometimes I did. Thanks buddy. Sometimes I did the uh, the Improv, like for New Year's or something like that, but almost every weekend I was at the store and then when I had that falling out with the store I was like, what am I doing? Like why, why would I allow them to have any power over where I work or don't work? Like fuck. Yeah, I think that's a good mentality. And so sometimes it can hurt you though. Tim Allen stopped doing stand up when he was doing home improvement because he had that like real. You've got to, you know, for the time a fairly blue act. And he was doing this super family show who it was, you know, ABC. I think he was that blue. I thought he was not blue, but potentially controversial. Yeah. Yeah. No.

Speaker 2:          01:12:58       Well look, that guy like that in me talking about a guy who, whose career started right after he got out of jail. I mean guys just like, listen, I've paid my dues. Like I don't begrudge any of those guys who, who gets to the point where they just say, I just don't want to go on the road anymore. I'm happy with the show. And you know, writing on a show like I, I totally get that. Like if it's all, you know what it is, it's like none of it is selling out if you're okay with it. Right. What's the other thing? Selling out? It's, it's an internal thing. Not, it's not other people saying it. It's literally like, if you're, if you're not okay with it and you do it anyways because of the money, then you're selling out. But if you're alright with it and be like, listen, I'm married now. I got a couple of kids. This is an easy act acting gig. I can be here when my kids grow up. Like that's not selling out. It really isn't. I don't think anyway.

Speaker 6:          01:13:48       Well, the only thing that's selling out is if you stop doing what you want to do as well. Like if they come up to you and say, Bill, you know, uh, we, we really liked the way you play drums and we want you in the band. God, I wish that would happened, but no talking no more talking for you. You say you wish that would happen, but you wouldn't be able to.

Speaker 2:          01:14:06       I would just love somebody to compliment my drama. You always want to come like compliments on your hobby. Oh, so much better. Oh, can you say a dentist? Damn, you're a good dentist. Done a million of these. But if you actually just sit there and be like, why did you build those cabinets? Well, matter of fact, I did so true. The thing that you know, you suck at,

Speaker 6:          01:14:26       it's so true. Like my pool plane, that's probably the worst thing that I do. But if someone compliments me on my pipeline, good pool player, I am, but I'm not a good pool player for pro. If I was a professional, you know, so for a regular person and they're like, Whoa, fucking Jesus Christ. What are you? A professional. But a professional said, oh, you play good. See, that's why you're so successful. You're trying to get. You just don't want to like be able to beat the guys down at the, uh, Dave and busters or whatever

Speaker 2:          01:14:54       round, round, round, round. Round was always bummed. They never showed the Regal Beagle. Yeah. What the fuck? They can't have another set. How about your anniversary? I want to see upstairs. We're talking three's company for the youngsters. Larry upstairs was crushing it. That guy was probably the first herpes case. What I love about him was he was just so crushed and ass and didn't, didn't Karen. And the character was not considered a fence. It's like that guy exists. That's the guy who's never in a relationship and he's just, you know, chest hair going was the early eighties, right? Wasn't it? Late seventies and early eighties. Late seventies, early eighties. I love that show. It's a great show. They were both hot. Chrissy and Janet. What about the middle one? I had no problem with any of them. Which Chrissy was your favorite? The first one? The first one? Yeah. Suzanne. Suzanne somers? Yeah. That's just like a fun person to put that sound like a perfect. Like I said, that nobody threw anything at me. Seems like she'd be fun to do things to cook with her.

Speaker 6:          01:16:02       She, she's a perfect, like almost like the quintessential story of someone getting too big for their britches and fucking up in the Hollywood though because she was on this massive hit show and she demanded so much like her management and whatever. They were trying to squeeze every ounce of blood out of the next pharaoh. So the show like locked her out. Like they're like, oh yeah, you're on the phone now. Like you don't even like they did episodes where she would call in. Like Chrissy would call in like, hey guys, how you been? Like they funded. The writers have writing those. Oh they must have had so much fun. And they got. They just got rid of her. Oh, that's brutal. And she was fucking basically done. I mean, what was the last thing I did after that? How great would it legs when she did the thighmaster? She's pretty hot, but I don't think she had legs like women's sheriff. She did that for a minute. We went today have um, like muscles, like there's a women today, the Doula crossfit and they do like weight lifting and shit. They have like a different shaped them. It's more of a midi shape. She didn't have that back then. The seventies bodies. They look pretty good to me with that. That I still. The thing I just

Speaker 5:          01:17:09       said it and I forgot it, but thighmaster thighmaster. Yeah. Spring stupid fucking thing. Actually be good. If you were working on your guard, especially your half card, like really clamped down with your half card, why don't you tweak it a little neck like you invented it. That would be a hilarious Joe Rogan. You just laying on your back, opening your legs and closing. You want to squeeze. You want to feel it right here. This is how you're going to tap right here. Oh, oh. Oh. Plus it's good for your pussy muscle. Yeah, it'll be. It'll help postop trannies. Really tighten up the junk. Especially. Tighten up your new thing. There she is. Actually. She does look very pornographic. Delicious. Oh yeah, dude, that's long socks. How many cokes spoons? That's not her dude. It's lady Gaga. It's a fake one. Oh, is that? If she gets the Suzanne summer thing, I actually went to her concert. Leave a dog. A has a fucking sick body. Or your mom did a monster. What is a monster? That's a fan. If my girl wanted to see it and I went there, I was it. I kind of ruined it for, I would say I had eight beers.

Speaker 4:          01:18:15       I was watching a football game and I showed up and we took a cab. I'm such a jerk and I thought I was behaving myself and the next day I was like, she was just had that vibe around me and I was like, come on. I go. I wasn't bad. Last night was I, and she just kind of gives me a look and I was like, I go, I was just sitting that she goes, Bill, you screamed Jesus fucking Christ. I go, I didn't want you because you did it like three times because she kept doing this self help horseshit in between every song, every fucking song. It was just don't worry about. We got it, we got it. It's okay to be a freak to sing your fucking song. And then she was sitting at one point she goes like, you know, I hope you guys are having a good time because if you not, you know, I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 4:          01:19:11       And then people go, Ooh. And she goes, I said, I don't give a fuck. Fuck, fuck. Right. And then she goes through the debt, the, uh, the backup dancer like, trevor, do you give a fuck? He's like, I don't give a fuck. And it just kept calling fucking price. Get on with the not giving a fuck dude. If you truly don't give a fuck you, you don't sit around talking about it. That's like that jerk off on the play. Golf, we get up there, I'm going to x, Y, and Z. Even shut up. I'm trying to go to sleep. I got a mask on.

Speaker 5:          01:19:42       How easy is this going to be? How long ago was this lady Gaga concert when the Patriots lost in the playoffs, which is now no means nothing to you. We lost to the ravens. So is that the staple center? I totally respect your pretty fucking good, right? There's a picture over God. Damn, I totally missed it back. She got ass. No, as far as like. Oh, is that Suzanne somers? Yeah. Yeah. They just don't have hair like that anymore. That like back in the day they didn't have leaves back there. Look at those legs. Oh,

Speaker 6:          01:20:08       just delicious. That's right. That's the thighmaster. She mastered it and she's like fucking 50 something years old now. It still looks good. It's pretty amazing. I mean not real good. But like if you were on the walking dead and you were in the woods with her and there was no other checks and to grab your deck you would say let's do this. Oh, you know, I mean she has, she has the resume, she has the resume plus. Yeah. It's one you wouldn't want to put. Who was your. Who was your when you were in the seventies about my age, right? Yeah. So like in the seventies, like who is the one parent foster. She just, it wasn't even close set magazine. I mean that poster rather was on everybody's wall. Was Insane. One Post or one photo and it was on literally every fucking wall of every adolescent boy all throughout America. It wasn't girls. By the way, you had those posters back then. You remember that back in those days they had posters of boys. They didn't have girl idols that they would put on their wall. Guys had a fucking posters. Yeah, something happened along the way and girls started having posters of girls on their walls and guys started having posters of guys in there. Well, yeah, that's the

Speaker 2:          01:21:14       dude. I remember my dad had the playboy that she was in where she's naked, but she's sitting with her knees up so you can't see anything but you almost can't. I think I was like maybe eight years old and I was looking through it and I think it was the first time. I mean, I don't know anything about my body. I think I had an orgasm, but nothing came out. I remember I was looking, I was looking at the picture and I just kind of went. I went like that, that brief thing, and I was just like, that's what I hate the fact Teresa stories talking about this. Like don't you love to be able to go back to that innocent where you could look at like a Jordan marsh catalog and you're like, oh my some secretary skirt below blower knees and just their calves. You couldn't believe it. Like I'm a kid. Imagine touching a woman's calves. Like you just like, you just never have that innocence. Well again, that's true.

Speaker 6:          01:22:02       But guys who don't get laid, they sort of have that in real life with girls. You know, when they see a real girl in real life that you know, at work or at the gym or something like that where it's almost like, oh, can't believe she's right there. But if you get laid, it's just like up yet, that's a girl. She probably wanted me fuck her, but okay. Whatever.

Speaker 2:          01:22:20       Do. When I was a virgin, when a good looking girl talk to me, my face turned red. Like it was so overwhelming. Like you didn't even know what to do. You're just like, oh my God. Like I don't even know how my body's not even functioning coco cafe. This tastes like the milk at the end of cocoa puffs on it. And we'll talk in the seventies. Farrah Fawcett, Coco milk.

Speaker 6:          01:22:43       It's good stuff. It's Cookeaqua. It's coconut water and coffee in Espresso. Espresso when it's fucking delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Kate Jackson. Oh yeah. On the rookies when she was married to Mike Danko. I wanted to be Mike Danco. Who's the chick that was.

Speaker 2:          01:23:00       Who's the, who's the chicken

Speaker 6:          01:23:03       that was on? Uh, Tj Hooker. Oh, that was the one who has been on everything. Tommy Lee was married to her. Uh, uh, come on, guys had a lock earlier. Had the luck. Was that her on Tj Hooker? Was He sure had the luck earlier.

Speaker 2:          01:23:19       So one of the greatest things that, one of the greatest like moments ever as a kid to see them

Speaker 6:          01:23:24       manly, man she is. Wow. She was so young. Man. That's so crazy to see what happened to that Italian guys that the god from dance fever. Is that Danny Terrio? Oh yeah. That guy was that guy. Who is that who he is or I had to just make that up. I don't know what's his face. Captain Kirk was like, I want my to pay to look like Denny Day. Terry. Yeah. He went nutty with his toupee. You've got a big fuck. I'm fat thick one that was all curly and shit. I never knew. It was a Tupac. Adrian's a med. He was the he. Yeah, he was the host of dance fever. There was Danny Terrio and then Adrian's a med. Right?

Speaker 2:          01:23:57       It is the greatest luck. When I was like manly moment that I saw at that I wanted to be. This guy was when Farrah Fawcett did like that. Two, three guests, guest spot episode on the $6,000,000 man. You remember that? And he, he had like whatever those fucking those Jean jackets with the matching slacks, with the color coming out and this guy could jump over a house, beat up like 90 guys beat up big foot, right? And Punch that guy in the face to make his face come off when he fought the $7,000,000 man. You remember that? Yes. Yeah, like as I'm making that noise and all that. And then he got to bang her. I was just like, I want to be this guy. One of the great. Can anybody pull up the clip where he fights those guys in the snow and the black guy that got them in slow motion going into the air like it was right when Bruce Lee hit and everyone was trying to imitate them.

Speaker 2:          01:24:43       So the black dude is flying through the air going, I was doing, my mind was blown. Show us $6,000,000 man, dude. He fights the $7,000,000 man. And we're talking about at the bus stop. It's like there's no way when six, this guy's got seven. They get into a fight and a course. They just build the drama like wrestling with a $6,000,000 man is losing and this guy's just so. It wasn't powers booth. Who was the actor. He's done a bunch of stuff. He was awesome actor and then finally what ends up happening was he punched the guy's face off. It was like a goalie mask. It was really bad. His face comes off and then there's all this robotics under there and then he takes the steel girder, do the like in the Hollywood hills filming this thing and he picks up some steel girder and just in pails. The guy goes right through him. It was like seeing a rated r movie for me. I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't believe it.

Speaker 6:          01:25:35       Yeah. Who was the $7,000,000 man I'm looking at. This guy was in love with this girl. Who was she? What was her name? Daisy Duke. Oh, Catherine Park. You know what the worst thing that happened to her? She stayed alive. Come on. Hey, come on. Well, I'm saying, oh, all the things she did for you. When you have a bunk bed times a motherfucker. My brother, I told you I met her. Remember? Yeah. Didn't she want to. She want you to pay for a photo?

Speaker 2:          01:25:59       Yeah, it was like six years ago. She's just sitting there like, Holy Shit, there's tacy tuk right there. And no one was talking to her. Just, she was just sitting here like, look, like she was bored out of her mind. So I walked up like, Hey, can I, can I get a photo? She's, yeah, $10. I'm like, oh no, I have my own camera. I just take a photo. And she goes, yeah, it's $10 a month. Oh No, I'm sorry. Thanks. Just would've felt.

Speaker 6:          01:26:21       Go, go. Uh Oh. Shorts and everything you did. I hope you get another gig. You deserve it sweetheart. Go get $6,000,000 man versus the $7,000,000 man. Go check that out online. It will pull up a video. $6,000,000 man versus a $7,000,000 man is one of the most ridiculous fucking things. I sat down and pajamas. It's sitting on a beanbag. Watching that on one of those TV with legs. Just riveted. Yeah, they were racing the $7,000,000 man. It's just slightly ahead of him in the race, but they're both white, so during the race everything has to be in slow motion because otherwise you wouldn't be able to realize how ridiculous it wasn't. You would think that these fucking guys were special at. He's got the $7,000,000 man just slightly ahead of them. Steve Austin with his heart and his American knowhow just can't quite keep up.

Speaker 3:          01:27:11       Oscar Goldman, Rudy. I look at that, look at that because they don't make Harry chess like that. He won't get that. That is classic. I've banked every broad you've ever wanted to

Speaker 6:          01:27:19       down below the the solar

Speaker 3:          01:27:22       flexes too. If you ever get lead. Can you get Lee majors on this podcast? Is He's still around? Yeah. What is the thing about him?

Speaker 2:          01:27:30       He's. He is in a very rare space where he was on three shows that all went to syndication. Syndication. He was on the big valley, played a cowboy. He did the $6,000,000 man and then he did the fall guy. Yeah, and they all went. Yeah, that's true. Heather locklear. I think might have had four different shows that want to syndicate. That went five years. Like they literally like good luck charm. So it's just like we got to get this person in this show. It's gonna. It's gonna go. I've done. Wasn't the guy who don't. No, no. He fought a guy with black hair.

Speaker 6:          01:28:03       This is a different guy. Maybe this is the first $7,000,000 man. Maybe there's more than one. I've been on two shows that have been syndication. I got lucky. You got, you need one more, one more and then you're in that rarefied air. Yeah, you'll, you'll do it? No, I don't think so. I think I'm done. I think this, this is in syndication already already. Or wondering what kind of show could they learn you back? I'm doing a new thing. I'm not supposed to talk about it because I did talk about it and they go. I don't know. But um, that's the new thing is it's fun. It's crafty. It's going to be fun, but it's a lot of things based on skin grafts show. After that kind of crafty you make little octagon with based on lighthouse Ufo and big foot and shit.

Speaker 2:          01:28:52       That's cool. What do you think about that Garrett guy? The fighter that has down syndrome, they. They've been like showing him on espn like crazy and at first I was like, that's kind of up, but he's actually pretty good. I don't know if you.

Speaker 6:          01:29:03       I haven't seen too much about it. I've avoided it with because I'm terrified that somehow or another it would make it into my act. Right. Then what about him fighting the transgender? I think the transgender women like men to women should fight transgender women to men and we'll see what's the better combination

Speaker 2:          01:29:21       societies should be more acceptable and then we'll create a whole new class.

Speaker 6:          01:29:26       Trent 20 fights. Yeah. You're not supposed to even say tranny. Do you know you'll have if

Speaker 5:          01:29:31       champion fighting out of the blue corner. There used to be a dude. Now he's a chair. This guy you said he's good. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the only thing though, it's like,

Speaker 2:          01:29:50       I don't like to just like the transgender lady thing, like you don't know if he's 100 percent, you know, like should he be able to fight regular people? You know, that's.

Speaker 6:          01:30:01       Is He fighting a ball? A regular guy? Yeah. I think

Speaker 2:          01:30:04       was, I think in this video that's a, you can find on espn.go.com is. I think he actually fights in this video.

Speaker 6:          01:30:12       Wow. And these fighting. I'm Stephan Bonner's in his corner and everything.

Speaker 2:          01:30:16       Yeah. See, this is why I can't watch it. Just immediately start thinking of bits and she's not in the fight. She's just commentating scar right here. Get out of the fight but a duty look at. He's got a black eye and stuff did that to him. This guy right here, this is what's going on right here.

Speaker 6:          01:30:34       Oh, okay. So he got fucking power doubled quick. Well I would think that his reaction time would be not so good. Yeah.

Speaker 2:          01:30:43       I would be concerned that you're gonna, you know, he'd be do more damage. Like I don't, I don't. Yeah, no it's true. Not Dr. Berg here thinks that,

Speaker 6:          01:30:53       I mean it is something to consider.

Speaker 2:          01:30:56       You just got to be another kid out there with the same thing and then they can go at it and he got it. He Kinda, you can't, you can't, you can't do this.

Speaker 6:          01:31:03       They're finding so much fucked up about. He got manhandled man. You could see like the way that guy threw him to the ground, like as a good grappler. I think um, there's, there's, they're showing a lot of studies now more than ever about brain damage and fighting. And if you already have an issue, I would, I would say like, just get involved in Jujitsu. Go, go grapple. You really want to train and compete. Jujitsu is fine. You can, you can have like really intense high level competition and you don't get hit in the head getting hit in the head band unless you want to fight for a living, unless you want to be a professional fighter. I don't advise getting hit in the head at all, but it's good to learn. It's good to train. And if you can learn from people that you trust when you don't hit each other full blast, like you kick hard to the body and to the head and you just punched like soft to the face. They say that guy is a monster tattoo monster energy todd to

Speaker 1:          01:32:00       yeah, maybe. Maybe they're pretty much evenly, evenly matched because it's shitty choices. Yeah. It's um, well, it looks like he was all happy that he fought. You know, I mean, he can't, can't take that away from him. Just the problem with fighting is the real problem is that you're, you know, you're, you're fighting on credit, you're essentially finding on brand credits and are you willing to go out there and throw them in and you know and see what happens. But when you're getting tagged, you owe that later. You owe that. It's going to come back. It's going to come back with interest. Am I come back six years from now, five years from now I've met guys knowing them, knowing them when they were fine and then seeing them fucked up. And it's not just one. It's weird to see when you know a guy for 10 years and then you talked to him, you see him like looking around. He doesn't know where he is. He's fucking slurring his words. It sounds like was hammered. It's weird because the sound drunk because it'll sound like a drunk. Like that's how they sound. They sound like a guy who's just. Oh No. Yeah. And it's just from taking shots.

Speaker 4:          01:33:04       Yeah. They say like nfl football, you know, there's people predicting that it's just going to not exist. Like at least in the form I have the solution you got. You got to go back to leather helmets. Yes. You just go back to that and you bring all the equipment now. I mean this isn't like, this is like A. I'm Don Cherry talked about that in the NHL. What used to wear like these spongy pads when you played hockey, you know, just get the pads I used to wear when you played sports now they like this hard plastic and I just took up the game and it's like dude, I've, I've fallen on the ice with nothing. And if you feel like in my age I get hit by a truck, you get all the equipment. All, dude, it's hilarious. It's just you like, you'll feel like your Robo cop, you just fall down and nothing hurts. Now you get these guys. Were they how fast they can skate like 25 miles an hour or something. And they come by and they catch you with that hard piece of plastic. It's like getting hit with a wrench. Like I saw a guy, a mark severity got hit as he was falling through on a shot, got hit. He spun around 180 degrees and came back and he's never been back. One hit really? One hit. Yeah Dude. I mean

Speaker 1:          01:34:09       it hasn't been back Canon

Speaker 4:          01:34:10       right in the jaw. And he spun around like obviously got an A. I mean, I don't know, Shit like a high level concussion. He was a phenomenal player. And uh, so people are saying we got to go back to that because I like the pad you had when you were younger, like you hit stuff, you still felt it, you know. And then the pads would start to wear out, but you know, towards the season, you know, and it would hurt. But now it's just like that, this stuff, it's so incredible if like I play obviously non contact, so it's great. So if you fall down, you don't hurt yourself. But um, the stuff in like the Nhl they're talking about that they're talking about like in the NFL, like having guys starting from like sort of like a stand up position with the hands out because they, every place I cannot bone, they're just slamming heads together. Um, repeatedly when you play the whole game, you got like whatever, I don't know, 40, 50 plays, you slammed your head into another guy's had 50 times, just that game and then you play 16 games. Wow. Now this is beyond my fucking capabilities. 16 Times

Speaker 5:          01:35:16       anyway.

Speaker 6:          01:35:19       You're getting hit in the head a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are realizing that, you know, when, when football came around, when it became popular, but the amount of data that they had on brain trauma and to what they have today, it's, it's pretty minimal. You know, now we have a sort of accurate view of the landscape and we know like, okay, yeah, you're taking a fucking serious chances, right?

Speaker 4:          01:35:41       The helmet. What it does is it really, it protects beyond a certain hit. All it's doing is protecting the skull. You won't get a dented skull but like your brain is just getting sloshed around so somebody has to come up with something. I don't know how big would that be or it can kinda like, like your head just sits in there and you just

Speaker 6:          01:36:01       the, the hellman moves around.

Speaker 4:          01:36:03       Do you know what video I watched recently? I'm like, I have such a poor science background and just started like, like science is like, it's incredible. Right? What was that

Speaker 5:          01:36:10       dumbest thing I've ever heard? I'm just such a moron. Can I leave on that day? That was the dumbest fucking incredible. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that is the dumbest thing I'm going to say this year. I really hope that that was the low point. That's where you're leaving and going to be fun. Science is like really incredible cut. Have that bill on more often. That was just so.

Speaker 4:          01:36:38       It's super neat. No, I was just watching this thing on gyroscopes when I was a kid. They would call tops and he just spun him and stared at them. They weren't telling you what was going on. This guy gets this gyroscope going and he puts it on like a cone and it's on the side and in my world it's defying gravity and it's just going around this thing and I don't get how it works. I don't get what's going on.

Speaker 6:          01:36:59       Yeah. Well there's a lot of that out there. If you just. Did I explain it bad? You were just kinda like. Yeah. I don't know what a gyroscope. What does it look? Look up. Gyroscope. Okay. I know what a gyroscope is. It, it's because it's like seventh grade talking about sex. You know what that means? Yeah. I know what it means. Um, what is it? Just the momentum a gyroscope. So what's in those? Um, those, uh, segways. That's a gyroscope. Yeah. I think it's in a helicopter. I think it's in a helicopter. Makes Sense. I mean that it would balance out the helicopter. Well, I finally figured I finally read. I didn't figure it out. They told me like I'm discovering helicopters. So that back thing, that back road or is to prevent the thing from spinning around. Yeah. That's why when it gets shot and movies, the fucking helicopters. I saw that and I didn't realize it that that's what that things function was understanding of helicopter Gyro. No, no, no. Just, just look up gyroscopes. You gotta see this guy?

Speaker 4:          01:37:56       What? What, what am I looking for? Just a gyroscope. Okay. This guy, I sweated. God, he's going to do something that's a better magic trick that I've ever seen anybody doing vegas. It's just chairs. Scope on youtube of the little tiny thing. Let me see this. Let's go this fresh face. Alright, this guy right here. Now that's not it. God Damn. Is that what you're saying? Son of a bitch. A. The reason why you can do it because it's going so fast. So it's pushing down. You know, because gravity so like you could have like on the side of a can or something like that. This fast and I hang on you guys say something funny is this is coming up. The first one just wondering. Here we go. Farish scope. It's online. It's up there, Bill. Oh, it is? Yeah. Look. All right, so what you want to be is get to. Okay. Oh, I see what you're saying right here. Yeah. Get to about a minute. Forty in somebody for the love of God explained that.

Speaker 5:          01:38:49       Tell me how that works out. I'll fuck. Does that happen? Oh, that's it's balancing and it's spinning around in a circle and it's not hitting the floor until it runs out of momentum. Spinning, gyroscope, bullet balance on a string. Wow. Look at that. That's amazing dude. That is magic to me. Well that's why those segways work somehow or another. Yeah. I don't understand. I just love that. This, the technology of that and then some dumb ass like me can get on one like, well, slam into a wall with a looped around. One is thinking about a phone, you know that you use every day and nobody knew. If I'm ever out of like if there's a power outage, I'm getting one of these. If I have to entertain guests and I'm just going to start spinning this thing, this lava rock right there, people are gonna be blown away. Like, look at it. You could start a car caused the power outage. There's got to be done within me that would actually buy into it. Oh, for sure. Have you ever watched videos? It is pretty amazing.

Speaker 4:          01:39:46       It is pretty amazing. What does it have to do with space? Hmm? Do I swear to God? You could actually see how dumb the average person is. Like I consider myself an average person. You'd go to a bar with one of those things. They literally like five bucks and you could just like blow minds with the

Speaker 5:          01:40:00       just blah. You're like, wait, fuck you. Is anybody ever gotten laid because of a gyroscope? You do it. If you're wearing a cape and you show it in that thing, it's over with a big point. You read things like Dracula and then you know you do when they ask you questions. As you delay for a second and staring at them like your mysterious, like Ryan gosling and drive, I can tell you. Yeah. Ryan gosling and drive. He did that. He did let that delay thing and you're like, mind fucked. You like what's going on? What's what's happening here? Yeah. He did the broken guy thing like [inaudible].

Speaker 4:          01:40:28       Sky's broken. Oh yeah. That's kind of emphasis and completely still. I owe him an apology. I completely stole all of that. On that flight to indy. I was just like, I'm going to do what Ryan gosling window. I'm going to have this look on my face like I just got done fucking your wife and there's nothing you can

Speaker 5:          01:40:44       you

Speaker 4:          01:40:45       and I handled that much differently. I would have. I would have told the flight lady, I would have been the one son, please. You got to get this guy off the fucking planet. Like something's going on right now. I wouldn't be able to fall asleep next to their fucking lawyer, schizo or autistic or something like that. Maybe these ratios to get to to another. Like he wasn't good. I just, you know, just like no. When you never 100 percent. No, I just knew he wasn't going to do anything and I knew if I didn't I was sort of feeding it. I was being a dick. I was being a dick. But um, tell me actually said a great thing when, when he came around you should have invited them to your show. That would have been great. They said you should've given them tickets. Wish the old school. We actually had tickets opened up and talked about it on stage. I did open with it that night. Did you really? Yeah, but I was still kind of weirded out by it so it kind of came out as creepy rather than. So I just was like, all right, this is, this is more of a podcast story. So,

Speaker 1:          01:41:39       and here we are. What percentage of your, uh, your crowds in our podcast crowds, like people know you from the podcast? I have no idea when you say

Speaker 4:          01:41:47       response, but I think that they're, it's like they're into the specialist there into the podcast and thing. You just, it's great man. You just carve out your own little store on the Internet. This is me. This is what I do feel like it come on out. And uh, and then all you do is you just never fuck them. You always come out with a new hour and you never take a show off. You just don't fuck them because that's the relationship. When they say they love you, it's basically I love you until you suck. Don't fuck me. That's basically it because we don't know each other. So I understand the responsibility of that. And I always try to have good openers. I just want the wire to wire. Good show you came out. Good time. Go out there fucking take pictures. Kissing babies, shaking hands. It's great. I really like afterwards, uh, at first I didn't like going out there but that was more my awkwardness and then like my issues with that shit. But now I've actually, I kind of know as honestly not like super trump. Those people, you know, like it was like a motor boat and your face just spitting

Speaker 4:          01:42:45       and they're like complimenting uses, like spitting in your face. Like that becomes. And then it's like, you know,

Speaker 1:          01:42:51       I have the exact same attitude, the exact same attitude about the audience, like the camp fuck 'em and you gotta keep, keep giving them a free shit. That's why I love keeping the podcast free. That's why I love, you know, the, the, the idea that you're always going to have them there as long as you keep providing good content, you keep coming up with new material

Speaker 4:          01:43:08       and you can't expect anything more on it because I've done the same thing. I love bands in the eighties and then they started to suck and I never bought any more of their albums. So am I really a fast? Like I like you when you do good stuff. I like it when you do stuff. I like,

Speaker 1:          01:43:22       I have a, I had a big fear of that when I was first coming up that uh, that guy's sort of seemed to have it and then lose it. And there's a lot of guys that fall into that category that were really funny at first and then lost it, including contemporaries that I won't mention. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, but as far as dead guys, Kennison was my favorite example of that. Kennison I think in like 86, 87 was the greatest guy ever. I think it was one of the funniest comics ever ever. And then when I came along

Speaker 6:          01:43:52       and I came along and Ada, that's more like, like three all time behind, like prior and then, you know, his body of work or a bill cosby. I mean you just have to like, it's all subjective, but I don't. I put Carlin, I mean a lot of people would be pissed at me for this, but I put Carlin like fourth. What's the fourth? All time and me, somebody's going to get mad man, you know, you put Hixon for the coral. And because Hinduism is funny. Um, I think Hicks had this sort of groundbreaking sort of new take on standup that inspired so many other people to sort of like branch down that path that I always put him right up there.

Speaker 4:          01:44:31       Yeah. And it's also like a bad thing. Some people like rush and neil part, some people like led Zepplin and John Bonham and that thing that happened. But who cares as long as you're in, you just want to be in the argument.

Speaker 6:          01:44:39       Yeah. For me it's prior, all time, number one, buyers, number one. Um, and then it's Kennison and then Hicks and then um, then Carla,

Speaker 4:          01:44:49       but there's a through line to that, that order. That makes sense to me. Like I could see that, that obviously, I mean, I know that you do stand up obviously, but like there's like that order. I like if I just saw someone listed like that, I'd be like, okay, this guy, he likes this style, you know what I mean? Like Kennison is, is like if he had just come out the other side where like, it seemed like he, uh, like just fell into every pitfall. Stepped in every batch alcohol, the whole thing. Lazy. Like in [inaudible] 86. Like, I mean that was one of the, you know, his first letterman spot, dude is fucking unbelief. Just the vibe in the studio. You can feel it like we have no idea what this guy is going to do. Man, this guy and he came out and did not disappoint. But if you look at the difference between the first one and the second one, it's already starting like whatever he was going through. But I remember when he got all cleaned up and he was getting. He was coming back. It was really like the Stevie Ray Vaughan thing. Like he just got all cleaned up, turn in and around in his life.

Speaker 6:          01:45:51       Oh my God, I can't. Even when he died, they found cocaine. The system, it was never really cleaned up. La Wasn't, could claim to be cleaning up, but it wasn't clear that though, because I know I know everything about them. I mean it's first of all, his brother, I read his book, read his brother's book and talked to will always kill my theories with facts. He was

Speaker 4:          01:46:13       that a guy the other day about, dude, you know, and you were standing on stage, you were getting booed. And I, and I, it just was like, you know, that really inspired me and you stood there and the dude was just like, yeah, I was so high. I didn't even hear the boom.

Speaker 6:          01:46:26       Yes.

Speaker 4:          01:46:30       Let me have that fantasy. The fantasy

Speaker 6:          01:46:35       me, my fantasy version of who you are that he didn't give a fuck. Oh, that crushed me. I got to see, um, kinison as I was an open mic or like as I was starting out, I got to see him live at least twice,

Speaker 1:          01:46:50       I think only twice, but at least twice. Um, and uh, a fucking sucked. Both Times. The was better than him. It doesn't even make any sense. Carla blow, uh, who opened his opening act was funnier, more energetic, better, better material. I actually had material kinison was cheerleading by then. It was already over by 89. It was already over. He would go up and he would, uh, he would do like this cheerleading thing about like drinking and drive. We got to do it.

Speaker 9:          01:47:17       Who got drag? Who? God, we're going to pull it off because we do it every fucking. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1:          01:47:23       But it was, there was no jokes, the jokes were gone, like all the shit about the African children, like why don't you feed them.

Speaker 7:          01:47:29       You're right. But it's not like you don't lose that. He just, he was adjusting and right as he was coming out of it evidently still was coming a bit according to you. Like I would have loved to have seen what that guy was going to do because, uh,

Speaker 1:          01:47:44       I don't think he was done. And this is why I think it was done. I think you can only do coke for so long. You're crushing me here. I'm sorry.

Speaker 7:          01:47:51       I can, I handle the hold on my dream that he would have come back and he would have been in 45,

Speaker 1:          01:47:55       gotten on some fucking Kale shakes, started doing hill sprints and shed. But do you know Kennison his story? His life story is a fascinating one because he was a normal kid until he got hit by a truck. He got hit by a truck and you know, he, he suffered like some sort of a traumatic brain injury. And after that became reckless. It was just wild as fuck. It was like a completely different kid. It was like Kennison wanting Kennison too, and Kennison one was like a normal average seven minutes. He got cracked and he got hurt real bad and from then he was reckless. Just wild, you know, and he did a lot of crazy shit man. And if you look back at his life, like his impulse control was like nonexistent. I mean he fucked Carla Bose wife. Carla boat was opening right. There was carl talks about it.

Speaker 1:          01:48:42       I wouldn't say it any other work. This carl found, Carl found out that his daughter's father, he thought it was his daughter and it was just fucking Sam Kennison who's his best friend the whole time. Yeah, the whole craziness, man. Crazy. Yeah. You hate to see that. But I learned a lot watching them. First of all, I learned in the beginning what was possible when I saw him, his first HBO special specials. Like there's the grants committee I've ever seen. I couldn't believe this is even comedy. Like I couldn't believe, like someone figured out this new way of doing comedy. But then to see him just become really shitty after that, I was like, wow, that can happen. Like you need to know that that can happen.

Speaker 7:          01:49:21       I think you've been to water and the guy. Really? Yeah, because he died prematurely. You're talking about like he's still alive in the nineties. He died in the nineties. Dude, I'm older than he was when he died. Yeah. So yeah, no, I mean like, you know, I'm just saying like he was pulling himself out of the mud and then he, he, he died. So it's like, it just gets cut off. So you have no idea you'd given them a break because he's dead. I see what you're doing. Yes. Am. Because

Speaker 4:          01:49:48       it's like your making it seem like those last few years, that's what, that's all he was going to be. You can't say that.

Speaker 1:          01:49:53       Well your podcast, you're right. No, it's possible that he could come back. There was no evidence that he was coming back. The material that he was doing was shit. It was, it was just poorly thought out. It was like he never sat in front of a fucking notebook and actually wrote it out anymore. You didn't. Didn't tighten things up and. Right, right. You're killing. I'm sorry. He's my favorite. He's, I mean he's right up there with John Bonham was your favorite drama? Would you talk about those 52 shots of vodka? A tuck. I'm telling you

Speaker 4:          01:50:22       was so big. He couldn't get over to the floor. Tom Say he had. He had a floor. Tom as a rack. Tom, because he was so fat he couldn't get around. I don't know what that means. I don't know what you just said. There's allegedly. He had a 15 inch rack, Tom, by the end of it. What's that mean? Gigantic. It's usually see sing, sing, sing. When the guy plays bumped down to dump down on the floor, that's a Florida guy allegedly was so fucking fat. He couldn't get around to them, so he just this giant fucking through an. He's younger. When he was younger, he's doing is, he's still in his triplets and he would do this thing where it was just like kick left, right? And then it was boom, boom, and then cross over and then back and it was, and we did it like a 90 miles an hour. You see them at Royal Albert Hall at the height of his powers. Dude, unbelievable drummer. And then as he got older, like his finance was, was incredible. Like he didn't, he didn't, uh, like he didn't have to do all that to get the same kind of power and a. But what people would do is they know that people like trashed, like getting off the subject here. People like what you're doing at Kennison. They kind of did the bottom of people.

Speaker 1:          01:51:28       No, listen, I'm not, I'm just telling the truth. He fucked up and it's good for any young guy to sit are out of this. And a young comic, I think it's important to see that that's possible. But it got caught up in his own wave and he became a caricature. You know, it became like a,

Speaker 4:          01:51:45       I just pictured you becoming a caricature of yourself. How can I do? And you come out and all you're doing is just throwing kicks the fucking show. Coming out with a speed bag comic comedy speed Piscopo for this going. Yeah, I do remember that. He took a steroid test during his special. What? He, he had a special where he had been. One was saying he was on Roids

Speaker 1:          01:52:10       oh, because he got really big on bodybuilding magazines

Speaker 4:          01:52:13       and stuff. So then, and it all stemmed from some comment somebody made when he took his shirt off at, at a pool, like plastic sensitive performance. And then he just went the other way with it. It just became like shred and that guy was shredded.

Speaker 1:          01:52:25       That's where it came from. Somebody like mocked his.

Speaker 4:          01:52:28       I mean I've been talking about a magazine article I read like in the eighties, um, so he got all big like that. So he has a special actor where he does like axl rose and he does all these guys. And in the beginning of it, somewhere towards the beginning he just has a guy in a lab coat come out or

Speaker 2:          01:52:45       something. He sent a lot of people say I'm taking roads or whatever. So the band's playing. He goes offstage and basically I guess ps in this Cup, no way, and he does his whole special and the special ends in this guy comes back out with the classic, I'm a doctor, lab coats and it comes out and he's like, what's the verdict? And they go, it's clean. He's like, it's clay. And that was, I sweat it. I get so to say it out loud is so nuts. I'm starting to wonder if it happened and I apologize if I, if he's listening, I got it wrong. I really shouldn't have done that. I've never been able to find it.

Speaker 1:          01:53:21       Oh, it's got to be out there. Well, Joe Piscopo is recently been brought to the limelight by Opie and Anthony Opie and anthony have been goofing on. Joe Basketball and they had them on the show and they tortured him. Oh, it was beautiful. But um, maybe because of that more people like looking up his stuff because a lot of people started. They started tweeting me, Joe Piscopo at concert links and videos and posters. Johnny dangerously. It shoots through schools. I loved him. Yeah, he was great. But, um, steroid test get the Sinatra thing with Eddie Murphy. That was a great. That was great. Yeah. No, I mean, but, but it's also undeniable that he lost his fucking marbles and disappeared. Yeah. He, he appeared to undergo a drug test during a show.

Speaker 2:          01:54:14       Oh really? That's you. Everybody's got that moment. Your career you'd like. I'd like

Speaker 1:          01:54:18       to have it back now. Fucking watch is still on, in his HBO special. Uh, he appeared to undergo a drug test during the show is appeared in anti steroid public service announcements. He became the subject of controversy in the early nineties after appearing appearances of his newly buff physique on the covers of fitness magazines. It led many to speculate. He was using steroids do dude too. I mean, he wasn't that big. He just got, he got in great shape. Look, you can, you can pack on a lot of weight without. Um, did you ever know Brian Frazier? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. When we were in Boston, Brian Frazier was way bigger than Joe Piscopo and he was 100 percent natural. He's the biggest guy that I've ever met, but I absolutely know for a fact was 100 percent natural. He was so big. He would go on stage with a tee shirt on and I told them, you can't do that anymore. I'm like, you can't do that because no one's paying attention like I know you and I'm not paying attention with the fuck you're talking about because he had giant arms. He's a bodybuilder because Andrea twice as big as mine. I never fucking enormous. He's got. He's got. He's got to come up. You've got to have the button down. Yeah. You just got gotta do something where people are not getting distracted by the fact that you've these fucking legs growing off your shoulders.

Speaker 1:          01:55:41       He was so big at big fucking. I've never

Speaker 2:          01:55:44       understood that. Didn't that big like just theories. People where they have a too big. That's not funny. People. People want to see somebody up like people look their theories don't have a beard. Beard is bad. I mean they need to see. Your facial expression is just so much horseshit that you hear those theories all. Yeah. They're just trying to define the beard. Didn't work for him at all.

Speaker 1:          01:56:03       Yeah. Nobody can tell you anything. What made A. I mean, look, Hedberg used to go on stage 99 percent of the time with sunglasses on. Who would ever tell you you should go? Yeah, I've closed with sunglasses on. It was awesome. Nobody can tell you how the fuck can you be a cage fighting commentator and a standup comedian? They'll tell you, you can't do both.

Speaker 7:          01:56:20       What a fucking black hole. Just like so many, like heat, like what would that guy like? I just, I still kills me. I didn't even know him that well. I met him a couple times, but like me to same thing. It's just like, uh, that guy. I mean he was brilliant. Oh my God. It's so fucking rich. I mean, I just sat there and you just became a fan for some. I saw him was in the old logo on Fairfax and what was awesome was there was this guy who ran the room who was good at running the room and he had real difficulty. Like all those guys were standing up. Was it was so difficult, he wasn't likable and he would just go on stage and you know, those guys, they just, they come onstage and just for whatever reason, whatever they're putting out the crap just hates him. Right. And he went up there and just flailing, flailing, flailing. And so he's running the room and then he brings up Hedberg. Hedberg goes up there and just instantly is killing. And he was doing shit. Like what if he got mad at fruit? He was this crazy jokes. He was trying. I used to just like fucking fruit.

Speaker 2:          01:57:17       That's just the way he did it. He was so fucking ridiculous and it just, you are like, just locked in. It was, he was just one of those guys, I don't care if you had fucking 12 beers in you, you just knew instantly I am watching a genius and you would just,

Speaker 7:          01:57:34       it was um, yeah man, I, I just

Speaker 1:          01:57:38       so original the way he would like, he would, he would make jokes about shit that doesn't make any sense. I mean, like you would look at a paper, you go, how the fuck is someone going to make a joke of it? Had the combos for double tree. They have a meeting, what do you want to call it? Let's call it two trees. How about devil tree meeting? Adjourn.

Speaker 2:          01:58:00       I heard that he actually had the balls. He went on Letterman and on one of his sets he called back to a job he did on a previous set on letterman. Just to see if anybody noticed. I mean, it's just like that. I mean I tap out right there. I'm just like, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1:          01:58:17       It was really clean too, which is really funny because he's like one of my favorite guys ever. That's basically squeaky clean and every once in a while when he cursed it was great. Yeah. I would say a fucking them up. One of the things about being a comic in Boston is that, uh, there was a lot of craft to me. You, you came along so a little bit after me about after my generation of open makers. Uh, but there was a, there was a lot of emphasis put on the craft of like the use of the word fuck. Like, you know, you could use the word fuck, but don't over fuck, don't break the fuck meter. That's the guys would say,

Speaker 2:          01:58:53       I remember that. I try to keep it to three, three to five bucks. Yeah. Like Donovan used to say

Speaker 1:          01:58:59       Donovan was a genius man. Donovan Donovan is one of those unheralded genius

Speaker 2:          01:59:03       favorite lines ever is. He's talking about being at work and their boss breaking your balls above going on break. And one of my favorite, like most one of those blue collar details that I never heard anybody bring up on stage. He was imitating, you know, giving shit to his boss. He said I'll take a 20 minutes shit on the clock if I want. And I was just like, oh my God. I used to work with a guy who did that everyday. Just dogging it, just hated his life. He would grab the newspaper. It was just like he go, we just had to break. The Roach coach pulled up. We just had the break and he used it to get. He was so fucking miserable to get from the break to get to lunch. He had this routine where he would go and he's like, I have to go to the bathroom and we would all break his balls.

Speaker 2:          01:59:46       It's like jail. You fucking went in there for like nine hours, you know, and he would just laugh and he would just walk in, sit down and just read the newspaper. I don't even think he was taking a shit. He would just sit on this bowl just to have this debt. I never forget that shit. Like how lucky my life is to tell jokes. Let's just say that like your game plan is you hate your job so bad that you pretend to take his shit for 20 minutes every day just to get to lunch. That's a lot of guys that you can get fired for that. Oh, nowadays with all the cameras and everything, they can literally break down. Exactly. When you come back in the day that fuck you was six minutes, there would be an attorney or how quick am I supposed to take a shit in, bring it to a diet counselor,

Speaker 1:          02:00:27       try to get you. We have to figure out, figure out some sort of a way to optimize your time better here at Performance Inc, setting the people in the cubicles that you're walking by. As you go to the, uh, as you go to the toilet there, they're pulling your load

Speaker 7:          02:00:41       while you're shitting. Oh, that was one of the dumbest things we ever did. We used to, we used to ship out like this computer software. We are the middleman between like software companies and people ordering software. This is like the 80, so there's no internet. So people would come to our company. I mean the company I worked for where they had all this software, Lotus one, two, three, Dbas, three, all this old school shit. And uh, one day we got into this stupid guy, competitive thing like fucking morons. We didn't realize it like who was shipping out the most. So we started saving them competing with one another and uh, this guy shipped out 100 packages, so the next day I did 1:20 and then he did one 60 move fighting and then the fucking management got room for it.

Speaker 2:          02:01:20       They're like, oh yeah, why don't you start keeping a and a, a number. And then they figured out who is being the most efficient and guys started losing their jobs. So I even back then I was like, dude, guy stopped fucking doing it.

Speaker 7:          02:01:31       Stopped doing it

Speaker 1:          02:01:32       because we're, we're literally cutting our own fucking. Well you're making yourself. You put yourself in a race that's there's no.

Speaker 4:          02:01:38       Yeah, but we didn't know any. Yeah, we didn't know any better idiots. We were like 19, 22. We used to fucking go out and drink like a 12 pack of beer and eat McDonald's at one in the morning and by like 8:00 crew unloading trucks find laughing and then we would work. We do all this shit and that during lunch hour we would go out and play basketball and like just regular sneakers and like five slash 11 blues number that the butterfly and you'd be. You'd come back and pouring sweat and then just keep on. It's the greatest shape I was ever in my life. And then in the end of work I would then go lift and go ride a bike. Do remember one time I went on a bike ride, hammered. I was so into working out fucking bike ride. I'm, I'm like a 12 speed bike that I bought when I still have it, by the way, am I garage.

Speaker 4:          02:02:23       I refuse to throw shit out. And uh, I remember being hammered on the bike and I'm sweating so I'm becoming more hammered. I was going to do this 11 mile loop that it became, oh seven. And then I just kind of came back and I was like on the bike laughing and I was like 20, 21 and was only beginning to understand the fragility of life. And I knew that what I was doing was stupid, but I couldn't get, like I, I just kept picturing my friends laughing at me and I was literally by myself riding this bike, laughing drunk, driving up the street.

Speaker 4:          02:02:56       I've been here for two and a half hours. Like I'm just taking snippets from fucking the ads I got. I got nothing left. Used to be able to bounce back so. Well when you're young, it's amazing. When you're 20 years old you can get hammered in the next day. You barely feel anything. Food Donald's and tear down that place. I would get to quarter pounders with cheese, a large fry, a six piece mcnugget. And I never liked him. I never liked him. I never thought an ace to try the different sauces. Mustard never tastes good. I just wanted something to fill the void. And then I would get like a couple of cheeseburgers and uh, I think just a giant coke and just throw that down and wake up the next day with a flat stomach. And I had already drank like, you know, eight, nine beers. We've got to fight.

Speaker 4:          02:03:40       We got into a fight one time right under the Golden Arches and the next town over. Um, I don't know what happened. These guys came in drunk, classic Boston Shit. They just come walking in and they give everybody the finger. Of course we respond to it and next thing you know, we're out underneath the golden arches. There's like five of us and two of them. And uh, my buddy, we always fought, he starts swinging on the big one and then the little one he sort of jumped and it just became this big and it looked like wrestling, you know, and like they all come running out of the dressing to help each other on snow. Everybody's drunk just fallen down. We so fucking drunk. The cops were there, like sort of missing mace for like, I don't know how long, like we didn't even see him pull up, like being in the light. Then all of a sudden everybody's eyes are like tearing up and shit. And then what was hilarious was they just broke us up and they fuck it. And then like two seconds say we're back in our car and the same two guys we were fighting were coming back up to the car. So what are the cops go?

Speaker 2:          02:04:38       I thought it was over. And the guys like that was a bullshit punch. I remember the little one goes. I said, memory goes, we laugh at you. Shit. It was fucking nuts. I got to give it up to him. And he was fucking four on two or whatever. And uh, they didn't give a shit. They laughed. They definitely left in our shit. They, they didn't care. They hate that Mason. They came right back. They already are right up to our Ford escort. They did not give a fuck

Speaker 6:          02:05:08       into the fighting. You just got maced.

Speaker 2:          02:05:11       Something happened. I don't know. Nobody got it full on. Like it was just like you're. I, I thought we thought it was the snow. Like they had thrown a rock salt because we were on the ground. I don't, I don't know what it was, but it was just like unbelievably fucking air. But we were hammered. A fucking police car pulled up and nobody noticed. That's hilarious. Whatever was going on. How fucking

Speaker 6:          02:05:32       common or fights in Boston though? I mean that's the other thing we. I didn't realize growing up there that that's not normal and that there really aren't that many fights in the rest of the country.

Speaker 4:          02:05:42       I was never a fighter man. I fucking hated that shit. Like I saw so many guys just like you just like, you know that youtube videos, you see someone's already knocked out and they're unconscious and they get that extra two, three boots to the head. You're like, oh my God. For the love, for the love of God. Just you one.

Speaker 6:          02:05:59       Yeah. I've never been into. They either, believe it or not. I was always the guy who got the fuck out of there. I never wanted to have anything to do with that. I didn't mind competition, but in my kickboxing or martial arts tournament or whatever, but a fight on the street. I was like, why don't we do in here? This is avoidable. This is chaos.

Speaker 4:          02:06:16       This is why my thing that I always used to get psyched out because I was like, all right, I'll fight my older brother and lose, then I'll take the ass kicking, but he has to deal with the fact that dad's coming home. This guy doesn't have to stop, dad isn't coming home within this relationship and he can just keep going and I've always been slow as shit so you could literally tell me what you're going to throw and tell me exactly what to do. You're still going to hit me

Speaker 2:          02:06:37       big head already.

Speaker 4:          02:06:41       Like I really like. If I would have died in 1980, if there wasn't for all this medicine and shit like I shouldn't be. I'm one of the weak ones. I really like. I had my appendix ruptured. I wouldn't. If it was the 18 hundreds, I would have died under like a stack of blankets and say sponged off my giant for that would've been. It would've been buried out by the outhouse. I Dunno. It was weird. It just kinda was kept hurting and hurting. How old were you? A 12. That's terrifying. And it was, it was ruptured. And they didn't know what was my one day I'd be fine. The next day I was at and my brothers convinced that he knows when we were playing baseball and football came up and he said it hit me in the side. I don't think it did. I can't remember, but I just remembered my parents were always just like, you're fine, you're fine, dude. I get hit by a car and they sent the ambulance away and we took a cab to a better hospital and my mother was going, just stay awake. Just say, wow. Wow.

Speaker 6:          02:07:36       Did you hear about that kid that got hit with a disgust? He got hit with disgust and died. He got hit in the hip. He got hit in the hip with a discussed in one of dying. What? They don't know. Some sort of a blood blood clot or something. I don't know. But, uh, here, I'll pull up the story you want to have you talked to them? Yeah. There's obviously major arteries that connect the top to the bottom right. I mean, the blood's got to get down there. So basically you got the four. Oh, five on one side, the one on one or the other. Fifteen year old kid in Texas died nine days after being hit with a flying, discuss it, and he got hit in the hip to hip. It wasn't any vitals. No. I know the questions to ask. Yeah. Vitals makes you sound like you know what you're talking about is fucking crazy.

Speaker 6:          02:08:22       Yeah. He, he was in pain apparently and the pain kept getting worse. He was admitted a place under intensive care and then dod from fucking. Yeah, you're in pain. They elaborate. Don't tough it out. You know, now they don't. They don't know. It just happened. The funeral, it was just a couple of days ago, so I think there probably were awaiting the results of the autopsy still, but he was most likely a blood clot in your body. So fucking fragile. And you know, I've seen so many people get beat up. I've probably seen more people get beat up than anybody in human history. Did you know what day I'm going to the hospital already? The amount of people that I know that died and they say for three days they're going, yeah, I just don't feel right. Yeah. Like when you feel that go to the go to the fucking hospital, it's just like, let's do a full body cat scan.

Speaker 6:          02:09:12       That's such a scab. Find something cat scans. Why is that? Well, it's been an MRI for the full body magnetic resonance imagery, cat scans for the dome. All right, you got that? I think right now do cat scans for body once. This is. The guy won't admit he's wrong. They like make you pull your knees up into your fucking shoulders down there. All the guys that I've seen get beat up. I mean, how many people have seen a thousand people get beat up? I've seen at least a thousand from all the fights that I've called, I'm an all the the trauma I've seen in person, so normally I don't like that shit. Where after the dudes knocked out and then the guy comes up and it's like one, two, three, four, and then the breath gets there. It's just a shitty referee. That's what that is. Yeah. To the arm bars, I still remember, I forget what fight it was.

Speaker 6:          02:10:00       I think it was when Matt Hughes had a. what's his face in the arm bar and you just wouldn't have the gracie family like Oh, hoists. Yeah. He would not have said something like, oh my God, you like that? You know when you get hyped snap. Literally I had to look away because I was like going, I'm going to see two bones come through the skin. That is one of the. Like. He was just like, fuck this. Like I am not. That's one of the toughest things I've ever seen. He's so filled with adrenaline and it was his pride. I mean he was a Jujitsu master and this guy got him into Jujitsu hold and it's basically going to break his fucking arm. Straight arm bar. Gosh, that was one of the. It's a lot of pain, man. It's terrible. Terrible pain to experience. But no, his whole family was like that.

Speaker 6:          02:10:45       I mean his, his dad is famous for fighting. This guy named Kimora, this big Japanese guy. His Dad got a shoulder ripped apart by a Komora. It's called a Comoran that's a shoulder lock, but you know, Yankee cap wouldn't tap guy ripped his shit apart and who knows how they pieced them together back then because this is the 19 forties. I mean, what the fuck they did to put his arm or his knees back in the day. They would just, they tell you I shit out. Work at the gym where he worked out to ever tell you this. I'm bad. Anybody's still listening to this at this point was like, we're for sure getting married. This, we always do. Um, bobby or I was at the Boston. It is, we do like three hour podcasts almost every time we've done it with you, pal, you forgot already know. I met one time over your house and I woke up in my elbow coupler and the fucking thing was over. Like I didn't realize how much I was sweating like my back of my knees to my ass. It was like I ran a marathon. That's my shitty office man sitting in that vinyl fucking chair. It was leather. It was a real legit, legit, marbled flipped and vital in my house or whatever the hell it was. Corinthian leather was just about to tell you

Speaker 6:          02:11:57       at. You just found the last two and a half hours of know. What the fuck was I talking about? Gracie's? Yes. He looked at it. No, no. It was past that we went past the shoulder. Well, how they put it together. The 1940 [inaudible]

Speaker 6:          02:12:11       oh fuck. Right. After that. If somebody screaming at their car where you lost me, I lost my fucking point. Come on, let's walk back. It's no, it's never coming back. It's over. Gilbert. I don't know what the fuck I was going to tell you. Imagine how they built his own. God knows what they did. Well, that's that bobby. Your Shit. Oh, Bob. Your. That's it. That's it. Thank you. Got It. Thank you. Thank you. I worked at the Boston Athletic Club in Southie and uh, I was a trainer there when I was 19 and bobby or used to play racquetball there and he had, who knows how many knee operations. He was a very nice guy. Bobby Orr was and a super friendly to anybody would come in, but I used to have to help him get on the versaclimber verse climbers one of those things. It looks like you're climbing it.

Speaker 6:          02:13:01       The, like the, uh, the arms go up and your right arm will go up, your left arm will go down and the same with your feet and you're, it's a great exercise. It's great to get it made that noise. Absolutely. It's a great. Oh, that's it. Yeah. I remember that. It's a great cardio exercise, like one of the best Jujitsu. Anyway, bobby or gets on this thing and he can't really bend his knees. His knees, like this is a normal person's name. They go from here to like there. That's how you're, you're nigos his knee goes like this

Speaker 1:          02:13:32       clink clink. He, he gets like 15 degrees of movement. I mean, very little. He's like bone on bone. Yeah. So we used to have to pick him up, pick him up and uh, get his feet into the thing. And then you had to be there when he wanted to get off of it, as well as like, his knees would not bend correctly and when he was playing racquetball, he would just fall down, like he would play racquetball and he would like go for a ball and just fall. I mean he just, he didn't even try to stop it. He would just allow themselves to fall

Speaker 2:          02:14:00       first. Sam Kennison not bother your. He just killed me.

Speaker 1:          02:14:02       No, listen, Bob Yoga was a great guy. He ate. He had the same issue that uh, a very good friend of mine has where they, they did those operations back then. First of all these to cut you open like a salmon. They would just, they would just open you and then they would go into the hamstrings. They pull the hamstrings out, take a big chunk of it, and then try to reconstruct your knee. And it would almost always blow out. So bobby had so many fucking surgeries, his knees just an up and down. Both

Speaker 2:          02:14:29       those guys out on the golf course when they were shorts, where they have that Frankenstein car right over the Patella. Oh, I have that. You have that?

Speaker 1:          02:14:36       Yeah, that's my acl. I had to, but that one doesn't hurt at all. I had a Patella that's actually more than the new school was on the side. The acl is in the middle. The acl is what connects the two together and keeps them from moving forward and backward. And there's obviously the outside and there's a lot of different things, but one of the ways that they, uh, they fixed the acl joint is they take a piece of the Patella tendon joint, which is the front one which goes from the kneecap down. They take a slice of that because it's a big thick one. Have you ever seen a cadaver? It's very fit and you don't need it all. So they take a strip of that, open you up and they open you up and then they screw it in place. So I have a screw in one and then another screw in another. It's still in. The screws are still in there because it's almost like you go through security at the airport. It doesn't beep, but it shows up in an MRI. I to tell them, you stand there and do the Jay z thing. Yeah, I do it. You don't do it. You don't have to worry about that one because that one isn't even radiation. That's actually radio waves. So they'll look.

Speaker 2:          02:15:35       This is the sharp metal object. Anybody 12 years or younger they go, okay, go through the old school one. So it's like, what is that? Because that will disrupt him hitting puberty. Yeah, they do. It's because it's their little kid parts probably. Well they like, they'd probably illegal to see a picture of your Dick. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah.

Speaker 1:          02:15:57       Because you know a lot of those, especially those naked imagery things like that was the thing you were getting like

Speaker 2:          02:16:02       there's been several versions are old. You can see that deck. That's okay. That's still under age. Maybe they just get, they get nervous when someones too young. Yeah, I dunno, I just saw that. I'm like, if you hit me with enough shit, the fucking kill him. I don't want to go through it. I always go through the pat down. You get a

Speaker 1:          02:16:19       pat down, always Ari Shaffir doesn't. He goes to, gets a pat down and he berates them. Girls are thieves, thieves and losers and idiots. Like I've never seen anything like he gets angry at. He doesn't anymore. He's backed off of it and he's decided now to just be polite but object and tell them there's other ways to make a living. But uh, they were. He goes, well, can we just go, come on, do your thing. So stupid. Nobody asked for this. You're not helping anything. This is a stupid, corrupt organization. So they go, we're going to get our supervisor. Oh, the head guy of your corrupt organization. Bring that fucking idiot over here. And the like, say, bring that fucking idiot elsewhere. He said, yeah, he was. He was dangerously close to getting arrested. He came with me to vegas and he was dangerously close to it all going down. You should have recorded that, joe. I was scared. I didn't want to go down to I don't want to go down with them and I was trying to think of who could open for me in Vegas, what am I going to be able to call last minute? He's getting fucking arrested.

Speaker 2:          02:17:16       You want to sit there and I don't understand that. When something amazing is happening that all of a sudden you take out a camera and start filming it. Now it's like you watch it on this small screen. It's like you have a life license.

Speaker 1:          02:17:25       Well you don't. You just hold it up and still watch it at the same time. Yeah, hold it like that.

Speaker 2:          02:17:29       But you're going to check the thing that's just, you know, I guess. But I would like to have had that video. When did you have liked to have seen it? Right now we going to watch it. You know, if you know how to tell a story, you can paint a picture of it. Like you guys kind of know what that dude looked like. You in them. And I told her it was like a fucking eight, nine minutes story.

Speaker 1:          02:17:46       Alright calls them all thieves. Thieves are all thieves. They, there's still things they still drink, which they occasionally do, but you know what, that's because most of them are just regular folks work in Shitty jobs and how many people listen to this podcast right now goes, this motherfucker clears throat one more time believing ladies and gentlemen, I don't want to be doing that. I'm sorry. But uh,

Speaker 2:          02:18:11       you know, right before nine slash 11 I was going through lax and I was like taking a red eye and a James Brown was on the radio that, that get opened up and the girl was sitting there dancing and singing the song and I fucking shot or a look and I think she thought I was looking at her in a racist way. I was more looking like, do you understand that? Like my life is in your hands and you're sitting over here fucking sliding across the floor, what the fuck are you doing? And then a few weeks later that bullshit happened. Oh, Tsa person was doing that. Yeah, defiantly singing the song staring at me because she, she caught my vibe. Like what are you doing? And then a few weeks later, nine slash 11 happens and then they got all these guys. Remember they had the fucking guys with the. It looked like we were in Israel for a second. Now those guys have gone away and that's the exact same jerk offs. You know that all jerk offs. But there's enough dead weight come on Tsa. You know, there's some people that shouldn't be on this squad. There's enough like,

Speaker 1:          02:19:09       well they don't get paid that much. I mean if you're going to get people that work for essentially the same wages that someone does and they work pretty fast,

Speaker 2:          02:19:16       that's exactly. That's really truly gave a shit about your safety. They would get who that guy on my plane was pretending to be. They. They would get that guy in red wood. Stand down.

Speaker 5:          02:19:28       What you would feel that Desert Eagle vibe. They do.

Speaker 1:          02:19:34       No. What did they care? They care is exactly as much as they have to and if it costs them more to make you more safe and not really interested in it, what they're interested in doing is spend the minimum amount of money to get people to shut the fuck up and the reality is you're not going to get a lot of fucking attacks. You're going to get an occasional one every decade or so. We're going to have some shit go down and you could make

Speaker 5:          02:19:56       fuck load of profit. I'm more concerned that they're now outsourcing. I saw, you know, once again saw this, didn't research what are they outsourcing or bringing in an Indian people

Speaker 4:          02:20:06       just so many miles. You have to rebuild the jet engine. They're outsourcing it outside of this country and the FDA can't regulate it. Yeah, that's all good. I saw a great video on youtube and on a jet engine forks to suck, squeeze, Bang. Blow that what it's called works. That's the principal's suck in the air. You compress it and then you mix it with the jet fuel and it fucking explodes and into how you get your thrust. We started to learn through learn shit and that's how it makes clouds to right, and it goes through the atmosphere, picks it up to that video. Yet those cloud trails where they to conspiracy theories think that they're spraying us. They're spraying this man. Look at the clouds and this guy, man. I know, I know a guy who uh, said to a girl was talking about that shit. Chemtrails. I don't know what his name. Yeah. Chem trails was talking about that shit. And this girl's got. You're crazy. You're crazy. So one day you looked up and there was these weird fucking tic tac toe shit and the sky that you hadn't seen before. And he just texted her the next day he goes, yeah,

Speaker 5:          02:21:01       look up. Well that was hilarious. What? That's fight flight patterns. Oh Jesus, come on. Well that's what it is. It's like, it is. You don't know what it is neither the wise I looked into it. Yeah, because I'm tired of arguing with Eddie Bravo. Which wing of the Pentagon did you walk from the UFC? Come on in. I talked to pilots, Bill Burr. So what the Pio explained to me exactly what it is, what causes do you know how fucking annoying it is to someone who doesn't fly a plane to come up as the same person? Like somebody in the crowd going. So like how do you get your material? Do you trying to get Jujitsu guy friend of mine. There's a pilot. Alright. I'm too far into this to say you're right. Here's my comments as it criss cross. Why is it always go in the same direction and they're fucking spray this. Aren't they down here too? That's the problem with spraying. No, but I heard it long as you up. They put the president in time. Those sprays going on Air Force One. It's in the air. There's so many levels under the White House. They don't even stay in there. They have like, you know, look alikes.

Speaker 1:          02:22:14       Microchips. Did you remember when after September 11th when Dick Cheney was always in the bunker.

Speaker 4:          02:22:19       It was in an undisclosed location in the bunker. Remember that? He rubbed it out in there. I don't think it's hard work.

Speaker 6:          02:22:26       Good enough for him to rub one out. Probably. Probably that's probably how I blew his heart out. Probably overdosed on by Agron fucking blood ticker. Scary. If you're a. If you're a on nitrates that you're not allowed to have. My Agora, the Viagra fucks with guys that have heart problems. They take dictate like nitrogen, Nitroglycerin, pills and nitrates. Apparently that stuff mixed together. I know a guy where he had like major health problems and he had to get his stomach stapled so. And he was using Viagra and they said you can't use this stuff because the medicine he was taking for whatever else he had, they said like, it's, it's thinning

Speaker 4:          02:23:06       thins out your blood if you know, if you have sex, I don't know, like the blood's going to rush out of your head or whatever. Okay. And you're gonna fucking die. This is true. Like I'm just stupid to remember what he said. Right. So he's like, I was like, doc, you know, if I, I can't fuck, I don't want to live. This is the guy's like, all right, there is one way you get. You can do it when you take the Viagra. Okay. You have to be on the bottom and you have to be laying down. It's all about standing up so it doesn't fucking rush down. So you've got to lay down and you can have this girl ride you, but you have for four hours. You have to lay in this bed. And he's like, done, I'm doing it. This is how much this guy like, he goes, I can't get a pussy.

Speaker 4:          02:23:43       I don't want to live. Right. So he's fucking lay in and this girl rides him and he lays there for four hours, has no fucking problem. This, this, this thing. And then he starts getting cocky. Three and a half hours, three hours that's going on the computer. Sometimes it gets up to early and he's getting light headed and shit. And he goes, I didn't think anything about it. And uh, he fucking was walking up a flight of stairs and it just went black and he was fucking unconscious. And the only thing that saved him was he fell backwards down the stairs and his legs were pulling it up and the blood came down. At that point, my fucking career banging. It's over

Speaker 5:          02:24:21       and this guy, I'll tell you who you know, the guy, I'll tell you who it is like you know afterwards and have him tell you the story. Is it Ralphie? May,

Speaker 4:          02:24:29       Huh? No, no. That didn't sound like Ralphie did it.

Speaker 5:          02:24:33       That was like Ralphie and witness protection. No, I'm just, I just threw a guy out there and try to get you to tell me who was it, Jay more. I'll tell you.

Speaker 4:          02:24:42       He had to get his stomach staple. Jade. A little beer. Wait, that was it.

Speaker 5:          02:24:47       He got it off. You know who was it?

Speaker 6:          02:24:51       I'm not sure I would know him. No, you know, actually I don't. I'm not sure that you would know a Boston guy. Why are you going to Indianapolis, Joe?

Speaker 5:          02:25:01       I'm telling jokes with Tony Hinchcliffe. We're going to be at the theater April sixth. I'm alright man. You don't have to tell me who the fuck it is. That stomach stapling thing though. Air. I'll wait. I'll wait when I'm outside thunder dome here. I'll tweet the results. The um. No, I wouldn't do that to. Yeah you would. I wouldn't, I wouldn't. No. I contacted rise a close. They were,

Speaker 2:          02:25:26       you want me to turn off the podcast member when it used to kiss my camera, you're, you'd be like Brian, turn off the camera and that really meant Brian Act like you're turning off the camera. But it got to the point where I would just act like I kissed the camera. I'm like, okay, it's off now. And no one really caught it to any anybody sketchy that wanted to like hide some information. Door cameras on hog checks in the mail site is secure. That's the new vista. New a check's in the mail. This, this site is totally secure with those hacker fuckers isn't. Nothing's ever secure anymore. The guy who built it has some sort of backdoor. That's how he gets pussy the back door. The back door

Speaker 1:          02:26:11       happened with us at a, on it, at the audit.com is we uh, hired a guy to do some coding for us, for the, um, for the, like a gift certificates and stuff like that for the website and to set it up so you can gift people things. So this guy decided to outsource the coding. So we didn't even know we thought that this guy who was a reliable guy was going to do the coding, but what he did was he got his online friend from Vietnam, gave him the password to the, to the servers and allowed him to do the coding and this guy went in and just started downloading all the credit card information and so the FBI we had to bringing the FBI to find out and it went through this guy and we found out that that's apparently like super common because if you're paying this guy x amount per hour, he can go to Vietnam and say, Hey vic, my Vietnamese friend, I'll give you a, you know, half that you do all the work so it's got kicks back, collects fat checks, doesn't do a goddamn thing. That's apparently super common. This outsourcing.

Speaker 4:          02:27:12       Yeah. That's why you never never used your debit card ever. Really. It's your money. Something happens. That's you. That's almost to a credit card. Credit card. That's the house's money. I'm not saying to rack it all the way up. I got a buddy, might've prosecutes identity theft and this is some real shit. This is real talk. Yo. I'll always use, always use. If someone's going to double swipe it, you want it to be their money, so then they call up and they're like, did you get a lap dance in Toronto? No, I did not have fun with that Shit. I'm out. If you use your debit card now they got you. They got your card and then it's like you have to go down to the fucking bank and be like, I didn't spend 65 bucks at an auto zone and all of that shit and you have to.

Speaker 4:          02:27:52       You have to go. Rather than it being a quick phone call, you have to go through all of this bullshit. So it's still protected by the Visa Card. That's why the visa card logos on there. So the same rules apply. Well protected. It's if it's not good, I just. One of those things I don't want to fuck with. I mean if you want to do it that way, absolutely. It's definitely better to do it through American Express or someone, a phone call. I know it was. Somebody had it recently. They had to go down to the bank bag

Speaker 2:          02:28:17       and I'm just so fucking lazy. My identity. Jesus Christ,

Speaker 6:          02:28:22       I don't want go down to the bag. I got mine. I know what happened with me. It was at a gas station because I didn't use it for anything else. And then all of a sudden I started getting these messages were they were saying or were you buying chocolate? And I was like, what? That's like, yeah, it was good dive a chocolate, uh, like gift certificates for like 100 bucks, 500 bucks. I'm like, not that special. It's like a lot. It was like $500 with chocolate. You're trying to get somebody's risk going to jail or like, you know what? I'm going to do godiva chocolate. Let's hit their first. Well No. The reason why they do that is to get gift certificates. That's what they were doing. They were getting gift. So when they get the money and then they say, hey man, I'm doing the black voice and I don't know why I go to a white guy, hey man, would you like $500 worth of Godiva chocolates for 50 bucks? And so they could sell that for 50 bucks on Ebay. That's another thing. Yeah, that's a good one too

Speaker 7:          02:29:09       is they use the gift certificate and they don't use all of it and they try to get the change back.

Speaker 6:          02:29:13       Can you do that? You can in some places, some places you could do. Yeah, you can. In some places. I've seen people do that before. You can do that in some ways, but a lot of ways they said no, it's a store credit.

Speaker 7:          02:29:22       I got a buddy who's a lawyer whenever I go into the time where he prosecutes because he's the shit I, I, if I have time, if you just sit there and you watch a case, it's, it's fucking unreal.

Speaker 6:          02:29:33       Yeah. It must be weird though, but what have you seen? You've seen like a real one, like a murder case.

Speaker 7:          02:29:37       One I saw drug line and like it was just fascinating because like the first guy he brings up, the prosecutor stewed I know was a moron, a fucking moron. And he's sitting there big, this cop idiot. And the dude literally goes like handsomeness. He goes, do you recognize this? And he looks at the piece of paper and he goes out, no I don't. And they go, uh, that's your police report that that's how bad this guy was. And I was like, oh my God, my buddy's going to get crushed in this one. But like when it was over, he came up to me, he goes, how'd you like that? And I was like, that seemed awfully guess now, don't worry. He goes, I always start off with the weakest one. It gets the other people confident and then it's almost like a comedy show to start off with the fucking open microphone. And then they. And then they slowly bring the new surround and then they actually, it was an arraignment to see if it was supposed to go to trial. And uh, the dude, they actually had enough so this guy was going to trial and when he, in the end he walked by and he said to my buddy, goes, I'm taking this all the way, like, is he like, I'm fighting this all the way to the top. Like it dude, it was the sickest drama

Speaker 2:          02:30:38       like ever. And there was a couple of old people in there. I'm like, do they like not have cable? And they just come down here and they're like, yeah, they come down and they want. I felt bad. Like I'm like, this guy could go to jail and I'm sitting here being entertained by this. I wanted to see like, okay, I'm supporting my buddy. But like it was, it was really like, was fucking unreal. It was way better than like even on the TV. And they wrap it up, didn't. She said, you know, when they do this stupid like, you know, you just yell at somebody the best to actually see that the way that they do do

Speaker 7:          02:31:07       it, it's still, it's what it is, is you slow. It's like a Boa constrictor. Every time you exhale, the prosecution just gets a little tighter and tighter and you see the person sitting at their body language. They're all confident and 10 is an

Speaker 4:          02:31:20       evidence is getting introduced. You see them start kind of sitting up. They start doing it is fucking. It's unreal. It's unreal. Human drama, right? It's hard to. Hard to deny somebody freedom. I don't think I'll ever do it again because I felt bad because it was. It was unbelievably in a fucked up way was it was riveting, was fucking riveting. Did you see that case with that chick who was accused of killing her roommate in Italy? She was acquitted because there was some sort of a problem with the evidence. Now they're trying to retire and now she's in Seattle. They go, we're going to. We're going to try it again. Come on back to Italy. Fuck yourself. While the United States not going to extradite her either because of the first case was over, there is no way I could ever sleep again if that happened to me and they'll execute. Mentioned it. It's just a country. Could you imagine if she actually killed her and got away with it? Absolutely. Creeping around Seattle. Well, what if I just. Let me just. Let's just go with my comedy angle here.

Speaker 4:          02:32:18       Dude. You're just sleeping in Seattle. Just like Tom Hanks and Melanie Griffith, bless whoever. Right? Throwing kicks in the night. Right? And you just go to sleep every night knowing this, a country that's out to get you. It's an entire fucking country wants to get you. And so they're pulling every. It's like conversations going on in Washington dc about you go, come on man. Look. Who Do you want for this girl? Who Do you want for Joe Rogan? Like they're trading. You write like a baseball card. Alright, you got a political prisoner. We want for them, but I'm not giving you phone. I'll give you three and you're sitting there. Then one day that fucking van pulls up. Dude, I, I, you know, I would have a cyanide pill on me at all. Even if I was wearing a tank top, I'd have it in a little scraps. I just run to the ocean and swim as far as I could afford.

Speaker 4:          02:33:11       Drone. Want to grow up my own shield to straight out, see how far I could get. Tried to swim to fucking Australia. I'll do it. You didn't have so much hate. You fish with him. You never. You never leave home base. Like you have to stay within the herd over here. You got to be in. You can't be that little fucking thing running on the side of the hurt. Can't even go up to Canada for fucking hockey game. Who knows what happens when you go through customs? True. Okay. And she's right there. I would be sitting there going like, what have I got hammered one night and I started driving up the five and I wasn't paying attention and I fucking went through customs and the recipe for drinking and driving and then they got some. They're in bed with the Italians because they don't have good pasta up there. They fucking hook them up. Next thing you know, you're getting flied back in Vancouver, Vancouver. Okay. Right there. And you just, you're in that fucking jumpsuit like. And then you, you know, when you're sitting there, all you're thinking about it was at that schwartzenegger movie, the raw deal where he knocked the guy out with the elbow and then climb down the fucking landing gear and you land in the marsh. Right? Right. That's why I would be thinking of, is that doable?

Speaker 5:          02:34:19       Doable. I know you just go like this. You Cross your arms like this and you just, you jump in. Do you ever watch any of those shows where people have to live in the woods like those Alaska, the last frontier type shows we're picking out like in 1963 snowmobile all the way over here to get an English muffin. Make your own English buffet date. They are literally burning 3000 calories to get five, 1500. How do you stay? How you stay nourished? It's very hard when it's really cold. Now you, you get so fucking hungry because your body burns off so much fuel just to try to stay warm. Oh yeah. Yeah. They're fucked. Do we? We got it. We got to do a new exercise video. Just parachute out of this business. We'll just do like the Alaskan workout. You're telling me what to do.

Speaker 5:          02:35:13       I'll do it now. So what you do is you just stick people in these extreme conditions, like when it's snowing out near a mall. I mean you're right near Shit. There's an ambulance there, but he just make him keep going up and down the hill like as far as that guy goes in the middle of Alaska. You just like, dude, you can't come back to civilization. That's right there. You can literally see a JC penny, but we're not fucking letting you back until you go up and down this mountain a Zillion fucking times and that you have though. They'll burn all that stuff and then you take them over to the orange. Julius [inaudible] sounds like prison. That doesn't sound like a real workout exercise. Video is slowly working towards that. Like this is stupid. What people are doing is they're just blowing out their joints. Like if you just knew how to fucking eat, you don't have to go like, these people are going to need hip replacement. You don't go on a fucking elliptical in for an hour straight. Do the exact same motion. You're going to have the running the the hips of James Brown to machines. Not Bad for. It's horrific. Really. I have momentum. Don't fuck with me. I never read. I don't read. I just don't want to give anybody any shitty advice. While people text, you shouldn't have asked me what I'm all about.

Speaker 5:          02:36:18       I don't think like it's bad for your body. Well, let's look it up. Let's find out everything in moderation. It elliptical, bad for hips. Okay, let's check it out. I think the whole baby boomer generation, they're all getting hip replacements and knee, knee, a knee replacement, osteoarthritis of the hip and the leg. Elliptical, exercising. Oh my God. You might be onto something. I've been told by four surgeons. Check this out. We'll do it. Even the work that you're doing, well, you have to fucking consume a whale's worth official oil everyday. She can brush your teeth. I mean, there's got to be like, Oh yeah, I'm a nominal fucking shape, but it's just like, you know those joints got to last you for rent. Well, you know what the reality is is we're all going to be on roids soon. They're already doing it with old people that synergenic late at night. When they show those guys, that's hgh. They just run up old people. I'm on that. I'm on. I'm on human growth hormone and I'm on a testosterone, so are you finding your organs? They're getting bigger. Just can you

Speaker 4:          02:37:16       button your shirts anymore? No, no, no, no. Do you could. If you went crazy and took like bodybuilding size doses of that Chevy once in a while you do is you slowly go down and you have that private pilot look on your face and then your wife's.

Speaker 1:          02:37:29       I'm already in a world of shit. I am with. The idea is to give your body these a bioidentical hormones that are the same level of the hormones when you were young and it gets so much more energy. I mean it's. It's amazing how much better you feel. It's a very controversial thing. Some people say, well, you should be worried about what happens to your body or be at the forefront of anything, but you're not. People have been doing this for a long fucking time. Would you have to worry about as abuse, like anything, as long as the most important thing is you get your blood work done, go do it with an ethical doctor and you can't be one of those people that the outsource is your blood tests like that. It's local, but you have to worry about, um, it's clean. Yeah. You have to worry about abuse. If a person's impulsive, they essentially, they'll give you this testosterone cream that you rub on you. If you're a nut, he just fucking take four times that dose and rub it on yourself and all of a sudden you're like, Dick's, like a fucking crowbar. And you're, you're red lining your adrenal system and your, your, uh, your endocrine system. You don't want to do that. You want to make sure that you do exactly what you're supposed to. Like. It's very minimum doses. Like the way Keith Richards does blow. Yeah. He probably like legend.

Speaker 4:          02:38:44       Barely though. We used to be. I read his book, man. It was great. He goes, he goes, I had that bad period. And that just followed me forever. He goes, all these people who died, he goes, you don't do a line of coke and just sit there and do another one. He goes, you walk around and Blah Blah. A couple more hours. You take another. Like he's very, like, he knew how to do it. Slashes book was another one where he, he knew how to do it. Like he was, you know, some people just use comedy as a stepping stone to get to acting. And then there's people who just love it. Like I love seeing the mic stand, you know, when there's nobody in there and it's lit and shit. And I got hurt. I love it. Slash it gets a junkie. Like I was reading it, it was like he made it sound. He goes, I love the whole thing. I'd love copying the stuff. I hope I'm not misquoting, but it was basically the gist. I love the whole cooking it up and he's like, he goes, I was really into it, but it seemed like because you know, it's Kinda like a guy who just sits down and plays drums and a guy could actually tune them and build a car, whatever.

Speaker 1:          02:39:40       No, no, no. You make a lot of sense. And it's also, I think if you're a guy who is well, like for us stand up comics, there's not like, oh, history of heroin use, but for musicians, Jesus Christ, I mean how many great musicians, Kurt cobain, et Cetera, et cetera. How many great musicians also had heroin problems. And I think there's a connection there. That was the guy from Alice and chains. Layne Staley, huge heroin addict. I mean there's so many great musicians that were also

Speaker 4:          02:40:06       chunk. Why you would ever fuck at this point. This just

Speaker 1:          02:40:09       so much evidence that's fucking terrible for you. Um, I think

Speaker 6:          02:40:14       it's supposed to be an unbelievably amazing feeling. It's really fun.

Speaker 4:          02:40:17       I, I can move it where he's just like, I'm going to do it when I'm 80.

Speaker 6:          02:40:22       Yeah. Yeah. I feel that. Well, didn't, didn't stand up. Have a bit about something along those lines. Stand home. I'm a bit about the really dangerous drugs, like save them for when you're like really old. The ones that kill people, you know, like when it doesn't matter anymore. I forgot, right. Maybe you stand on, but I've been told by for this, we should go back to this elliptical thing so people know I'm for surgeons that looked in the x rays and say I have osteoarthritis and need a total hip replacement. I'm scheduled blah, blah blah, blah blah. I used to play racquetball three to four times a week, but I had to stop. The question is should I have, should I stop using the elliptical machine? Parental director, director, director. That sounds like a pretty 16 condition. And yeah, this is um, this is not what I was looking for.

Speaker 6:          02:41:04       Sorry. Why you lift the machines are bad. Okay. Here's one that says something. Why elliptical machines are bad for your body hears it says popular piece of equipment, but it really is a elliptical machines over arrested number of calories. Calories burned in a workout by 31 percent. Huh? So they don't burn nearly as much calories, calories. It's a, I love a good school. I just want to know if it's fucking people up doesn't seem to be due to the fact that you can dance during a shell when you need like a hip replacement. Like over the years I've just kind of doing the same dance moves like prints James Brown. They needed like replacements from dancing. So here you are, you're not a Hoofer prints needed a hip replacement. But for real, I thought I heard that.

Speaker 4:          02:41:59       I really pay attention to how much shit I say and I always clarify it with. I can't remember who said it.

Speaker 6:          02:42:05       Well I know people would do that. Has reportedly needed a double hip replacement.

Speaker 4:          02:42:10       Okay. God, I get that. Maybe you didn't. What's that buddy? Thank God God. Just get that. Also Lady Gaga got a hip replacement and I heard from somebody else cause sometimes they just say that were they. Because they can't talk anymore. The guy may hips fucked up. I'm out already. Yeah, I'm taking off the. I got to tell you man, the Shit I've ever.

Speaker 6:          02:42:32       Yeah. Uh, apparently said something. Yeah. He's uh, he's, he's needed a hip replacement since 2005. It's saying that he learned, he avoids it. Oh, that's good. Every year they get better at it and it's like the whole hair plugs thing. Like I've been told by doctors that he needs a hip replacement. Um, the fallout from years of dancing onstage and high heeled boots. Yep. Wow. Lady Gaga cancels entire tour prepares for hip surgery. Well, it might not be a replacement replacements. Rough for a young girl like that. Um, Mark Coleman, former UFC heavyweight champion, just had his hip replaced. Fucking serious shit, man. That's a, that's a rough one. Apparently they know how to do it.

Speaker 7:          02:43:16       Got It, got it out. I had a buddy of mine, we went to a game and he had handicap plates and I thought it was like his grandmother's car or something. He said, no, I just had my hip replacement. I was like, where? He was like six weeks ago. He's just sitting there walking. I'm like, dude, what the fuck? He goes, yeah. He goes, I needed it like five years ago. And the guy told me if I can tough out the pain, just wait. And he did. And uh, that's the thing like I'm telling you as far like the hair stuff goes, you know, like they're going to come up with a pill dude. But there's going to be a price you have to pay if you want a full head of hair. I think like it's, it's like, would you take a pill to get your hair back? Right? That like they strap you down and it's like for 90 seconds it's going to feel like you're fucking head's on fire is that Shit said shit grows. But at the end you're going to have like games

Speaker 6:          02:43:57       show homes it 90 seconds. Yeah. No, I've been on fire. Yeah, I would definitely do it because first of all, 90 seconds I would want to know like what they think hair on fire would feel like. It would feel like everything else. Everything else is so overrated. Like what people talk about. Like how much things hurt. Like tattoos. I fell asleep getting tattooed to tattoos and not that painful. This is about getting a butterfly and your ass. I've talked to my arms are sleeves. I fell asleep. Not Hard, but what I'm saying is if you ask some people, they go, oh my God, it's so painful, but it's not really that painful. Laser Tattoo removal supposed to be more painful than tattooing itself. That's a, that's a. But I think like most people exaggerate about what things. As long as it didn't kill you, I'd go, okay. Ninety seconds. Not that much. I would try just to feel it. It feels like.

Speaker 7:          02:44:51       I Dunno. I Dunno. Yeah, you know, it'd be funny is then like it would become like if you see a bald guy who'd be considered a pussy

Speaker 6:          02:44:58       because he can take 90 seconds. Yeah. Oh, he's a man who accepts his feet.

Speaker 5:          02:45:03       Um, when he would argue, but you know, all those guys with the guy, Smiley haircut at that point, I can talk to them in their hair, would be given them as shit. I don't want you to do it. We'll do it right here at the bar with their Patrick swayze roadhouse here to do it. It'd be, it'd be like the accused, some ballgown would finally get held down. They give them the college kid, you're next. I'm happy to do it to me in the long run, but there really shouldn't have done it to me. I'd like, uh, I like having my head shape now, but I wouldn't do it now, but they just see how you get more active work with it. I mean, I've actually, I'm not doing anything about my hair falling out, so eventually it's going that route. And uh, I just figured, look, I look if I was going to be a sex symbol wouldn't happen by now. I'm so clear. So clearly the friend. How will you know? 40 four over. It's over.

Speaker 5:          02:45:54       There's nothing better than acknowledging that I'm keeping the rest of it looking good. But what, what the fuck are you going to do? Well, I didn't acknowledge it. I had hair transplants or they take little plastic things with hair stuck. If you have those ones, they take a slice out of the back of my head. That one? Yeah. You take like a trip and they put it on the Petri dish where they just vacuum it out. They take one at a time, they drop it in and see the whole. I had a buddy of mine, she checks you do it, you just fucking do it. And I sat there and watched the dude. It is a bloody fucking doesn't mess. Not that big a deal. It doesn't, doesn't hurt, but I would say never do it for, for two reasons. One, because I mean I wanted to shave my head and I have this big stupid smile on the back of my head, but two, because the just shave your fucking head.

Speaker 5:          02:46:40       So it's really not that big a deal. Once you do it, he'd go, why would I ever get a haircut again? So stupid. It's like really getting attached to just some shit that grows out of your head is so weird. You know? It's the worst one is a fucking toupee. Like this hat you just can't take off. Like how fucking sweaty. Especially if you exercise like you ever see those hair from him. Those guys are fucking playing tennis and Shit and run and sweat. And what is it they just. So it's like a weave for guys. Yeah. Well you're, you're

Speaker 1:          02:47:07       sitting here. Um, uh, I, I was, when I was a young man when I was worried that I was going to go bald, I thought about all the possibilities. I looked into everything. I wanted to find out what everything was, but the hair club for men, one, some of them, they, they're like your existing hair goes through it. So it's like a thing that they lay on top of you and your hair goes through it. So it's some of your hair and some of the fake hair and then they kind of like glue it on its death. I had a friend who had one for a long time and then he, uh, he abandoned it. So few. I actually know quite a few people that have had them, but it's a, it's a girl's fucking sweaty thing and once you just accept it, like you get used to the fact that you don't have your hair anymore. It's like, it's so freeing. Like once I shaved my head, I got to the point where even though I had hair transplants is still look like shit. I was like, you know what,

Speaker 2:          02:47:56       the stuff in the back never comes out. So we put it up here. It's like, well, the rest of this shit is going to fall out. So then what's going to happen? And also it's like, I feel like I'm dropping this shit behind enemy lines in the safety zone

Speaker 1:          02:48:07       the way I described it as like taking a bunch of people who are really healthy and moving them into a neighborhood where everyone's dying. You go, it's like, where's Mike? He's dead. But he said he's right there. He's gone. Yeah. Yeah. They fly off and they never come back. Yeah. The, uh, the, the, the, the pills though. When I was going to get into it was like, I tried propecia. That's the shit they give you. Um, for your, you know, to, to kill that makes your hair grow back. It kills a whatever it is, the testosterone bio. But dht, dihydrotestosterone, dht is what apparently makes your hair fall out. But um, it also kills your Dick. Lisa didn't mind.

Speaker 2:          02:48:44       It's all Kinda like I, I, I believe in the whole. There's no getting your cake and eat it if you get your hair back that he got to like, you got something has to be taken away. That's what I love about the overall arc of breaking bad. It's every thing time they get to a level, like this is something that loses in this. Another part of their soul gets like taken away. And I feel like that like, dude, you have no idea. All these drugs.

Speaker 4:          02:49:08       What the fuck this is doing to your liver? I found out the other day, uh, this stuff that rhymes with tylenol pm, I want to get you in trouble. I heard like taking a couple of those is like going on a three day bender. Very bad for you. I kind of went into the drugstore in because I knew I needed some. I still take it every once in a while and they fucking, they don't have it. It got recalled really random,

Speaker 6:          02:49:31       right? Pm. Recall liver. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sure that's just fucking our friend Tim Ferris says it best. There's no biological free lunch. He's like, anything that has a profound effect on your body's most likely having some sort of a negative effect, whether it's positive or negative or just some sort of bounced back. I love it. I love how you can't win. Well, not yet, but you know, you think about what you can get away with now as opposed to what you used to be,

Speaker 4:          02:49:59       which is why they have those old guys that are putting them on hgh because that's not for us. That's for the fucking guys up top. They're using them as Guinea pigs. Let's see if we can keep these guys alive.

Speaker 6:          02:50:09       You'd be amazed at how many old dudes are doing that shit. You'd be amazed how many old rich guys and I know that are there taking testosterone replacement,

Speaker 4:          02:50:16       so I suppose it was guy was a fucking riot. He was talking about how many agents he knew in Hollywood who would take, they would take in this testosterone shit because they thought I gave him an edge and I was just thinking of some roided up guy trying to get you a fucking audition

Speaker 6:          02:50:30       for according to Jeff. Listen, listen, motherfucker, I need my guy to be the fucking wacky neighbor. My Gosh, your guy. I don't know. Uh, yeah. Most, most of those things are bad for you. Even the regular Ibuprofen. It's not so fantastic for you. Didn't Rob Wolf Tosa? Chip is terrible for us anyway. Bill, or you're the fucking man. It was an awesome time. It was a howl as always synonymous with Albert. Was it always is my brother. Where your next work in them. Powerful.

Speaker 4:          02:51:01       Going through the De, the dirty south. Oh, I'm gonna go. Uh, let's see. What the hell am I? What the fuck? That's Fridays and fifth. Sundays is sixth, seventh, Athens, Georgia. Tenth. I'm at the home,

Speaker 6:          02:51:16       Alabama.

Speaker 4:          02:51:18       I'm doing a theater and a South Carolina. But whatever. You're capitalist Columbia, I think. And then I got two shows at the Tabernacle on that Friday in Atlanta. And take two days off in Atlanta. Yeah. I'm going to the masters and then I go golf. Golf. Yup. Oh, you're a big golf fan. I, I'm a sports fan. I love going there. And I think tigers back. He just fucking. He looks. So I think he's going to do what I can do. That's Jordan with a golf club. Um, and then uh, I'm going to go on Monday night. I got two shows at Tampa, Tuesday, two shows at Florida state. And then the Wednesday I'm at the Jackie gleason theater in Miami beach. Billboard Dot Com.

Speaker 6:          02:51:57       Doing a run. Go and check it out. I'm the Tabernacles where I filmed my last special. Oh, it is. It's fucking great place. Loved it. Oh, amazingly. I'm Atlanta is

Speaker 1:          02:52:06       amazing. It's a great town. It's so integrated. You know what I like about Atlanta is like people are like black people and white people. You still like hanging together. And so it seems like completely normal. But then when you get outside of it, it becomes the south again. Word Bill. Burr ladies and gentlemen, go to Bill Bird Dot Com and go seatbelt bill law live. He is one of the funniest guys working today and that is no bullshit. I feel the same way. It's an honor my brother and honor as always, shows only $5. Oh, you have one of our specialists to only five bucks. Great way to. You know who did yours? I did. Oh, you did it yourself and released it. Uh, okay. Go to [inaudible] dot com and go get that shit. You fucks Jesus Christ. When did that come out in a well debuted. I went straight to Netflix and then after people watch it on that, then I had to deal with like six weeks later you could download.

Speaker 1:          02:52:55       Yeah. I love Netflix. I did my 2005 special with that man. It was great. It's my hbo. I love powerful Netflix. Go to [inaudible] dot com and go by its support. Support Bill Burr. Honestly, one of the funniest guys working today. Bucks a month. Yeah. I love Netflix. I love the shit out of him. I love life. I would fuck them if they were acumen stamps. Dot Com is one of our podcast sponsors the newest, latest and greatest. If you go to stamps.com, click on the microphone and type in J R, e dot. That's for the Joe Rogan experience. I broke my scale. Can they? If you guys to listen to, they'll hook you up. They'll hook you. Actually sending things yourself. Do you call? What? Are you sending out dvds to my road gigs. Do you send them? Oh, okay. Powerful. Powerful bill bilber stamps.com. Who Do you call? I don't know.

Speaker 1:          02:53:39       We'll figure it out. Just go to the store and buy one. Why would you fuck them? Deal with it. We already talked about this before with fucking the Netflix thing. Go down to the store.com and you didn't have to go to the spa. They do, I think, but it doesn't work that way. You should go. They should look in your eyes and find out if you're a fucking mess up. Dumb. They have that. They have a website. Yeah. Stamps.com. Use the code named J dot. He saved yourself some money. Your Fox there is a beautiful $110 bonus offer includes a digital scale and up to $55 in free postage. Thank you. Also to onnit.com. If you go to o, n I try to sneak a burp in, but I think everybody knows if you go to o, n, n I t and use the code name Rogan.

Speaker 1:          02:54:20       You can say yourself off 10 percent off any and all the most delicious supplements that we have available. Actually some of them tastes like shit. This t plus testosterone will tell you right now, this stuff tastes like shit. So if you have something that you like tasting, I've been thrown into my protein drinks. I don't do that anymore because my protein drinks the hemp protein. Hemp, hemp force tastes awesome. But t plus tastes like shit. So I, uh, I drank it outside of that. I mixed it up. Shit. Yeah, carbohydrates right after working out. I'm going the other way. Go the other way. No protein, carbohydrate. I like how you do that. You're a contrarian. Just blowing up folks. We will be back, uh, the next podcast we have is a actually this Saturday with a Stanley Kripner who is a, a psychedelic pioneer. I'm like a really fascinating old dude. We're going to get to talk to a guy who was friends with Mckenna and Timothy leary and just, uh, and, and, and he has a lot of insight on, on also going to reach out to Lee majors. Right? We're going to try. We're going to try on a.com o n n I t codenamed. Real good. Go fuck yourselves. Oh, we'll see you guys on Saturday. Big Kiss

Speaker 10:         02:55:33       the.