I maintain my systems with the precision of a watchmaker and the ruthlessness of a Bond villain. When the slightest lag appears, I prescribe the only cure I trust: complete digital rebirth.

• 🔄 OS Reinstalls: 3+ monthly (lag intolerance disorder)
• 🚰 Hydration: Water-only (system coolant for humans)
• 🏋️ Fitness: Gym by day, rm -rf by night
• 💤 Sleep: "I'll just fix this one thing..." → sunrise

• 📸 Photography (I make pixels look pretty)
• 🎬 Video Editing (Premiere Pro > my social life)
• 💻 Programming (Python is my holy grail)
• 🛠️ Computer Hardware Maintenance (I fix what I break)
• 🔒 Cybersecurity (Protecting my digital kingdom)

BY USING MY CODE, YOU AGREE TO:

1. ABSOVE ME WHEN:

   • Your SSD develops PTSD
   • You miss life events due to installation loops
   • Your cat learns to say "kernel panic"
   • Your smart fridge starts tweeting conspiracy theories

2. SWEAR TO:

   • Keep backups in 3+ geological strata
   • Memorize fsck before complaining
   • Never ask "is this normal?" post-rm -rf
   • A backup personality (for when tech breaks you)

3. ACCEPT THAT:

   • "All systems are born clean and deserve to die clean"
   • "pacman -Syu is the leading cause of second marriages"
   • "If you're not reinstalling, you're accumulating sin"

4. UNDERSTAND that:

   • This software comes with NO WARRANTY
   • "It works on my machine" is a valid excuse
   • If you break it, you get to keep both pieces

"With great open-source comes great responsibility... that I definitely don't have."

• I once SSH'd into my own laptop... from my own laptop
• My ThinkPads have names and birthdays
• I consider rm -rf / a motivational quote
• My ideal date is with vim and no escape key

• Project Phoenix: OS that auto-reinstalls weekly
• install-fu: CLI tool that judges your life choices
• SSD Valhalla: Proper rites for worn-out storage

• GitHub: @helllguest (Commit history = reinstall log)
• Twitter: @helllguest (Mostly live-tweeting kernel panics)
• Email: helllguest@pm.me (Replies may be delayed by spontaneous reinstall)

• My P15's NVMe drives greet me with "Again?" in SMART logs
• Can recite Windows 11 EULA Article 17b from memory
• My T480's BIOS has PTSD from Secure Boot toggling
• Consider sudo rm -rf / a form of digital meditation

The Helllguest Mantra:
✔️ If it works → Black magic
❌ If it breaks → Learning opportunity
💥 If it explodes → Worth the story

(This README will self-destruct after 30 days - like all good installs.) 🚀