feat(miscellaneous): port 200 lines of miscellaneous

Signed-off-by: Christina Sørensen <christina@cafkafk.com>

fortunes/miscellaneous

@@ -482,3 +482,203 @@ I hate trolls.  Maybe I could metamorph it into something else -- like a
 ravenous, two-headed, fire-breathing dragon.
 		-- Willow
 %
+I have a terrible headache,  I was putting on toilet water and the lid fell.
+%
+I have become me without my consent.
+%
+I have more hit points than you can possibly imagine.
+%
+I have seen the Great Pretender and he is not what he seems.
+%
+I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it.
+%
+I hear the sound that the machines make, and feel my heart break, just
+for a moment.
+%
+I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
+%
+I know it all.  I just can't remember it all at once.
+%
+I know you think you thought you knew what you thought I said,
+but I'm not sure you understood what you thought I meant.
+%
+I know you're in search of yourself, I just haven't seen you anywhere.
+%
+I live the way I type; fast, with a lot of mistakes.
+%
+I love treason but hate a traitor.
+		-- Gaius Julius Caesar
+%
+I never did it that way before.
+%
+"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"
+		-- Royal Floyd Mengot (Klaus)
+%
+	[I plan] to see, hear, touch, and destroy everything in my path,
+including beets, rutabagas, and most random vegetables, but excluding yams,
+as I am absolutely terrified of yams...
+	Actually, I think my fear of yams began in my early youth, when many
+of my young comrades pelted me with same for singing songs of far-off lands
+and deep blue seas in a language closely resembling that of the common sow.
+My psychosis was further impressed into my soul as I reached adolescence,
+when, while skipping through a field of yams, light-heartedly tossing flowers
+into the stratosphere, a great yam-picking machine tore through the fields,
+pursuing me to the edge of the great plantation, where I escaped by diving
+into a great ditch filled with a mixture of water and pig manure, which may
+explain my tendency to scream, "Here come the Martians!  Hide the eggs!" every
+time I have pork.  But I digress.  The fact remains that I cannot rationally
+deal with yams, and pigs are terrible conversationalists.
+%
+I predict that today will be remembered until tomorrow!
+%
+I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
+%
+I saw what you did and I know who you are.
+%
+I smell a wumpus.
+%
+I thought YOU silenced the guard!
+%
+I understand why you're confused.  You're thinking too much.
+		-- Carole Wallach.
+%
+I used to be an agnostic, but now I'm not so sure.
+%
+I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance.
+%
+I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
+%
+I want to reach your mind -- where is it currently located?
+%
+I will always love the false image I had of you.
+%
+I will make you shorter by the head.
+		-- Elizabeth I
+%
+I will never lie to you.
+%
+I will not forget you.
+%
+I wouldn't be so paranoid if you weren't all out to get me!!
+%
+I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.
+		-- John Denver
+
+[I saw an eagle fly once.  Fortunately, I had my eagle fly swatter handy.  Ed.]
+%
+I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
+%
+I'm glad I was not born before tea.
+		-- Sidney Smith (1771-1845)
+%
+I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.
+		-- John Foreman
+%
+I'm not offering myself as an example; every life evolves by its own laws.
+%
+I'm not proud.
+%
+I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert!
+%
+I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
+%
+I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
+%
+I've Been Moved!
+%
+I've been there.
+%
+I've enjoyed just about as much of this as I can stand.
+%
+Identify your visitor.
+%
+"If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far."
+		-- Paul White
+%
+If everything is coming your way then you're in the wrong lane.
+%
+If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
+%
+If God is dead, who will save the Queen?
+%
+If God is One, what is bad?
+		-- Charles Manson
+%
+If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!
+		-- Samuel Goldwyn
+%
+If I don't see you in the future, I'll see you in the pasture.
+%
+If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
+%
+If it wasn't so warm out today, it would be cooler.
+%
+If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
+%
+If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
+%
+If life is merely a joke, the question still remains: for whose amusement?
+%
+If life isn't what you wanted, have you asked for anything else?
+%
+If rabbits' feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
+%
+If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?
+		-- Robert Moses
+%
+If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something
+to do with a shortage of flowers.
+		-- Doug Larson
+
+	[Not to mention, butterfly would be flutterby. Ed.]
+%
+If the future isn't what it used to be, does that mean that the past
+is subject to change in times to come?
+%
+If the grass is greener on other side of fence, consider what may be
+fertilizing it.
+%
+If the meanings of "true" and "false" were switched, then this sentence
+would not be false.
+%
+If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances
+are 50-50 it will.
+%
+If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
+		-- Art Hoppe
+%
+If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
+%
+If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an
+oncoming train.
+		-- Robert Lowell
+%
+If you are going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance.
+%
+If you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn't a horse.
+%
+If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.
+		-- John Galsworthy
+%
+If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
+%
+If you knew what to say next, would you say it?
+%
+If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.
+		-- Petersen Nesbit
+%
+If you stick your head in the sand, one thing is for sure, you're gonna
+get your rear kicked.
+%
+If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
+%
+Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
+		-- Jules de Gaultier
+%
+Imagine what we can imagine!
+		-- Arthur Rubinstein
+%
+Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
+%
+Immanuel Kant but Kubla Khan.
+%