Skip to content

Commit

Permalink
Added We Were Xoxo B03b10
Browse files Browse the repository at this point in the history
  • Loading branch information
mbbischoff authored and Siteleaf committed Jan 31, 2025
1 parent f78e5ac commit 548d1ca
Showing 1 changed file with 115 additions and 0 deletions.
115 changes: 115 additions & 0 deletions _drafts/we-were-xoxo-b03b10.markdown
Original file line number Diff line number Diff line change
@@ -0,0 +1,115 @@
---
title: We Were XOXO
date: 2025-01-31 15:22:00 -05:00
---

# We Were XOXO

> None of this should even be possible. How is this even happening? It makes no sense.
Twelve years ago, [Andy Baio](https://waxy.org) and [Andy McMillan](https://andymcmillan.com) (*The Andys*) launched the [XOXO festival](https://xoxofest.com) in Portland with little more than a handshake and a [Kickstarter campaign](https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/waxpancake/xoxo-festival/description). At the time, they called it an “arts and technology festival celebrating disruptive creativity”. But over the years, it grew into so much more than that—a summer camp for nerds, a group therapy session, a year-round community of kind creatives, a museum of the web as it was, and a laboratory for how the internet can grow and change. As the show grew and transformed, its organizers and attendees did too. We changed it, we changed each other, and it changed us.

This summer saw the final XOXO after a five-year hiatus caused by an ongoing global pandemic. In its many iterations, the festival shaped my life and the lives of so many who attended it, watched it from afar, or were influenced by its ripples through the culture. If you’ve never attended XOXO or seen one of the talks online, I hope to give you a glimpse into what made the festival so magical. But first, *lower your expectations*.

# [2012](https://2012.xoxofest.com)

The first XOXO was decidedly optimistic. It explicitly saw technology and fundraising platforms like Kickstarter as a way forward for independent artists to make a living online from their art. A two-day conference celebrated crowdfunding success stories like Tom and Dan of [Studio Neat](https://www.studioneat.com) alongside tech CEOs like Etsy’s [Chad Dickerson](https://blog.chaddickerson.com). The conference was held above an artists’ market and surrounded by fringe events like an indie game arcade, live music, film screenings, and a pub crawl.

But even back then, it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. In his talk, [Matt Haughey](https://xoxofest.com/2012/videos/matt-haughey/) opened up about his own failures and summarized the arc of the web as a “story of growth and decay”, gesturing at what many now see as [enshittification](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enshittification).

In 2012, I was a 22-year-old with dreams of running my own [indie software company](https://lickability.com) full-time. I was bummed to have missed XOXO, as its initial batch of tickets sold out in just over two days. My FOMO only worsened after reading [Ryan Gantz’s glowing recap](https://www.theverge.com/2012/9/19/3359592/xoxo-festival-2012-internet-party-conference) on The Verge and mainlining all of [the talks on YouTube](https://xoxofest.com/2012/videos/). I knew I needed to get to XOXO. I knew these were my people.

# [2013](https://2013.xoxofest.com)

When XOXO returned to the [Yale Union](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yale_Union_Laundry_Building) for its sophomore show, it only got more ambitious. More people than ever [wanted to attend](https://waxy.org/2013/06/how_xoxo_works/) and the Andys grappled with how to grow the festival while maintaining both the vibe and expanding the diversity of its audience. The conference hosted so many of my personal idols—software designers and developers like [Cabel Sasser from Panic](https://xoxofest.com/2013/videos/cabel-sasser/) and [Marco Arment announcing Overcast](https://xoxofest.com/2013/videos/marco-arment/), alongside artists and musicians like [Erika Moen](https://xoxofest.com/2013/videos/erika-moen/) and [Jonathan Coulton](https://xoxofest.com/2013/videos/jonathan-coulton/). Many of the talks focused on process, identity, and an attempt to define what it means to be “independent”.

I watched and re-watched the talks from XOXO 2013 on my MacBook in my apartment in Hoboken and on my phone as I commuted to my day job as a software engineer at The New York Times. Independence in my work was still something I desperately wanted, but I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do it, or if I’d ever make it to an XOXO in person.

# [2014](https://2014.xoxofest.com)

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Just found out I’m going to <a href="https://twitter.com/xoxo?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@xoxo</a>. So excited to finally attend.</p>&mdash; mb (@mb) <a href="https://twitter.com/mb/status/484165649292611584?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 2, 2014</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

In 2014, XOXO moved to [The Redd](https://reddonsalmon.com/) and [Casey Newton declared it “the most interesting weekend in tech”](https://www.theverge.com/2014/9/16/6240305/xoxo-festival-2014-portland-web). I had been lucky enough to apply and get one of the 750 conference passes and flew to Portland not really knowing what to expect or whether I’d fit in. On Friday, I spent the day exploring Portland during [XOXO Social](https://2014.xoxofest.com/social/), learning to play [Killer Queen](https://killerqueenarcade.com/) at [Ground Kontrol](https://groundkontrol.com/), making friends while sipping tiki drinks at [Panic’s happy hour](https://panic.com/), and partying on [Wieden + Kennedy’s](https://www.wk.com/) rooftop.

On Saturday when the conference started, I showed up early to get a seat as close to the font as I could. I spent the weekend drinking in the talks from [Anita Sarkeesian](https://2016.xoxofest.com/2014/projects/anita-sarkeesian), [Joseph Fink](https://xoxofest.com/2014/videos/joseph-fink/), [Darius Kazemi](https://xoxofest.com/2014/videos/darius-kazemi/), [Hank Green](https://xoxofest.com/2014/videos/hank-green/), [Rachel Binx](https://2016.xoxofest.com/2014/projects/rachel-binx), et al. in the sweltering former ironworks facility. We didn’t care how much we were sweating, we were just glad to be together. This year the speakers opened up even more about their own struggles with mental health, harassment, and the financial realities of being independent. The conference felt like a safe haven in the midst of [Gamergate](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamergate_\(harassment_campaign\)), but only because the organizers took the community's safety as seriously as they did. It was this safety and this care that allowed me to make lasting friendships at my first XOXO that have lasted a decade.

At night I socialized with friends new and old, playing [Two Rooms and a Boom](https://www.tuesdayknightgames.com/products/two-rooms-and-a-boom) and [Werewolf](https://beziergames.com/products/one-night-ultimate-werewolf) at Tabletop and watching premieres from video and podcast creators I admired like
Kirby Ferguson’s [This Is Not A Conspiracy Theory](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDQ6BYd73QHwCQk8-J30dtT_JQosW1bn1) and Hrishikesh Hirway’s [Song Exploder](https://songexploder.net/). This is the year I realized that XOXO could introduce me to some of my favorite things and my favorite people, if I was open to it and followed my gut.

Oh yeah, and there were goats.

# [2015](https://2015.xoxofest.com)

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I’m so excited that <a href="https://twitter.com/xoxo?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@xoxo</a> is back this year, now I just have to hope I get a ticket again.</p>&mdash; mb (@mb) <a href="https://twitter.com/mb/status/573693589949136896?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 6, 2015</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

In 2015, I got a festival only pass to XOXO which means I couldn’t watch the talks live, but could access everything else at [Revolution Hall](https://www.revolutionhall.com/)[Arcade](https://2015.xoxofest.com/arcade.html), [Tabletop](https://2015.xoxofest.com/tabletop.html), [Music](https://2015.xoxofest.com/music.html), [Story](https://2015.xoxofest.com/story.html), and [Film & Animation](https://2015.xoxofest.com/film-animation.html), and all the [Social](https://2015.xoxofest.com/social.html) events. Attending again was a no-brainer. This was my favorite event of the year and I’d realized that while XOXO produced some of my favorite conference talks of all time, and even inspired me to [curate them on Tumblr for a while](http://greattalks.net/), it was much more about the connections I made there, and the art and culture the show introduced me to.

XOXO Story gave me the chance to see my favorite podcast, [You Look Nice Today](https://web.archive.org/web/20170801132546/http://youlooknicetoday.com/), live for the first time and there I also discovered new favorites like [Hello from the Magic Tavern](https://hellofromthemagictavern.com/). At Tabletop I played [intense games of Werewolf](https://alistapart.com/article/managing-werewolves/) run by [Rands](https://randsinrepose.com/) himself.

I had fallen in love with Portland so much that I traveled to the show with my girlfriend at the time and my best friend and his wife, spending extra time in the city hiking and exploring the stacks at Powell’s and Portland’s incredible food and drink scene.

Shortly after I got back from XOXO, I quit my job at [Tumblr](https://tumblr.com) and went full time on my own independent app studio, [Lickability](https://lickability.com). I truly couldn’t have done it without the things I learned and the people I’d met at this conference.

# [2016](https://2016.xoxofest.com)

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Just peeked at the attendee list for this year’s <a href="https://twitter.com/xoxo?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@xoxo</a>. So many internet friends all in one place! ❤️</p>&mdash; mb (@mb) <a href="https://twitter.com/mb/status/756205870116200448?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 21, 2016</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

XOXO had always been political to some extent, but in 2016 it was more obvious than ever. As the country was on the verge of electing Donald Trump for the first time, [Talia Jane](https://2016.xoxofest.com/2016/projects/talia-jane) spoke about their whistleblowing about labor conditions at Yelp, [Sarah Jeong](https://2016.xoxofest.com/2016/projects/sarah-jeong) about new models for journalism, and [Sammus](https://2016.xoxofest.com/2016/projects/sammus) bringing me the audience to tears during her talk/performance about emotion, vulnerability, and being black in America.

Social meetups were self organized in the conference’s Slack so it became easier to find your people based on whatever you were into. For me that meant making friends at the #queer and #podcasts meetups. I spent all night at Story on Friday listening to incredible episodes of shows I knew I loved and ones that I’d soon become a fan of—[The Heart](https://www.theheartradio.org), [Flash Forward](https://www.flashforwardpod.com), [Reasonably Sound](https://2016.xoxofest.com/2016/projects/reasonably-sound), and [Just Between Us](https://www.youtube.com/c/justbetweenus).

I sang a karaoke on a bus, traded enamel pins, and played [Sapceteam](https://playspaceteam.com) and [Fall of Magic](https://heartofthedeernicorn.com/product/fall-of-magic-revised-edition/) with the creators of the game. I felt comfotable and I cried a lot, both alone and with my community.

# [2018](https://2018.xoxofest.com)

2018 is the year XOXO got big. It was double the size in terms of attendees and it somehow felt even larger, in its new home at Veterans Memorial Coliseum.

# [2019](https://2019.xoxofest.com)

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Organizing a little get together of this beautiful group of <a href="https://twitter.com/xoxo?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@xoxo</a> nerds. <a href="https://t.co/hTD0UooNG6">https://t.co/hTD0UooNG6</a></p>&mdash; mb (@mb) <a href="https://twitter.com/mb/status/1159983867924815872?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 10, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

# [2024](https://2024.xoxofest.com)

* Revolution Hall
* Karaoke
* Trans girl meetup
* Cabel Sasser
* 50% new attendees




——————
# Conclusion

None of this should have even been possible. How did it even happen?

Emotoinal closing speeches.

----
## XOXO Friends

* Robyn Kanner

## Scraps

CRJ-soaked
Yohan Sebastian Bach
Two Rooms and a Boom
Werewolf run by Michael Lopp

“200 people I’ve known for 10 years” — Matt Haughey

“This thing, whatever this thing is, is about love.” — Andy Baio in [the 2012 opening speech](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCUUyE3hhNQ&t=2s)

anticynical, antisarcast

“It’s so hard to make something new.


https://www.wired.com/2013/09/trickle-down-innovation-collateral-cost-of-indie-independence-2/

Great Talks

Search photos for Gowanus

0 comments on commit 548d1ca

Please sign in to comment.